The Funniest Thing You Will Read Today

[Thy Geekdom Come]

Sorry Rexi, but that bed blessing thing is creepy.

[Resurrexi]

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='Resurrexi' date='25 November 2009 - 01:35 AM' timestamp='1259130956' post='2009138']

[/quote]
No offense, it's just a tad bit too close to inviting him to stay and make sure the marriage is consummated, too.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='25 November 2009 - 04:24 AM' timestamp='1259123081' post='2009025']
+J.M.J.+
i figured, we only need the flowers to be nice for that day, so why spend a lot of money buying flowers that will last for weeks? we got ours through a local grocery store, they were perfect for the day and actually about a week after, at a fraction of the cost of a big budget flower store.
[/quote]
We got our flowers at Costco (my mother's a member). Otherwise I would've just gone to Publix. All I wanted was alstromeria (a type of lily) and maybe some spray roses. I'd originally wanted daisies, but they don't do as well with a bouquet, I found. You have to wire Gerbera daisies, that was more work than I wanted to do.

[melporcristo]

JMJT

I read this out loud to my little sister, who is OBSESSED with all the wedding stuff - Bridezillas, The Perfect Dress, and all those carp reality shows on Bravo & TLC. It really helped because as girls, the evil one will attack when it comes to facing family & friends - we want to be the best, the prettiest, the center of attention, etc. etc.

On another note ... I'm Mexican. We take Quincineras and Weddings SERIOUSLY. But before we think My Super Sweet 16, might I say that the whole reason to the big weddings in our culture is to gather the family and friends together for a beautiful union that was witnessed before God and His children. Unfortunately, half of the people don't go the Holy Mass (my sister says she will change this at her wedding by giving out tickets to the dance & dinner AFTER the Mass ha ha) and yes, there is lots of drinking at the weddings. BUT ... lemmie get to my point - the best thing that I have witnessed at a Mexican wedding is that we have everyone come together by helping with finances at the wedding. Now before you think, "Oh I see - their freeloading ..." the intention is not so. "Padrinos" as we call them actually want to help out in some way with the union. There's padrinos for everything in the wedding so it leaves the bride & groom paying for the essential things in their wedding like the Honeymoon location.

I loved Father's letter. I think I might print it out and give it to our priest who has similar sentiments.

[Nihil Obstat]

Melporcristo makes a good point; I think that big extravagant weddings that we see now are ultimately rooted in great respect for marriage and for family, etc.. It's just that eventually the superficial stuff has started to become the end rather than the means.

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='Raphael' date='25 November 2009 - 12:21 AM' timestamp='1259126494' post='2009065']
[img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ee/Inside_Notre_Dame_Montreal.JPG[/img]
[/quote]
Is that Notre Dame? Looks like it...

[quote name='Resurrexi' date='25 November 2009 - 01:26 AM' timestamp='1259130410' post='2009136']
Solemn High Mass followwd by exposition and benediction of the most holy Sacrament... and of course a bed blessing
[/quote]
This.

[tinytherese]

I got to thinking about the movie "Father of the Bride." I really do like it, but I got the vibe that one of the points of the film was, "Have every single thing that you could possibly want for your special day no matter how high in debt your family will be in because of it. Anyone who says otherwise is robbing you of your happiness and shame shame shame on them."

I mean sure, the daughter's wedding was pretty, but I couldn't help but think that she went way too over the top. In "Father of the Bride Part II" the father makes a brief comment in the beginning how he just finished paying for the wedding and this film took place some time afterwards. Two, three, years or so later at the beginning. Now her parents made decent incomes, both having successful businesses, but they were not wealthy. The groom's family "chipped in" a little bit, but that implied that they paid a very small portion for the wedding. It didn't seem fair because they actually were wealthy. I mean sure they wouldn't have had to pay for all of it, but a lot more than just a little bit while their in-laws go into debt because of what their daughter wants. Also, the groom himself didn't put one cent into the wedding. Sure, he wasn't in the poor house with his job with computers but he still had been working for a few years and it appears as if his wealthy parents paid for all of his schooling so its not as if he was in debt. I'm not sure if the daughter had her job as an architect by then. The film said that she had a little school left to finish towards the beginning, but it didn't specify how much and the movie took place over eight or nine months so in theory she may have worked for a little bit and paid at least a little for it herself.

I understand that in the film the groom's family seemed to insist that their "Danish relatives" come to the wedding, so it was a huge wedding, but I thought it was unfair for the wealthy groom's family to insist on them coming from so far away and making the bride's family pay for their plane tickets to and from such a distance. Why didn't the groom's family do that? It seemed as if the bride's family was being taken advantage of, but the film doesn't have a problem with it, just the father of the bride who everyone sees as selfish for complaining about the cost.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='Sacred Music Man' date='25 November 2009 - 11:51 AM' timestamp='1259167919' post='2009258']
Is that Notre Dame? Looks like it...
[/quote]
In Montreal, yes. I would love to visit it sometime.

[mommas_boy]

[quote name='Raphael' date='24 November 2009 - 11:23 PM' timestamp='1259123037' post='2009024']
Actually, I need to modify that. I forgot to factor in my wife's dress, but as that's out of the control of most grooms, I suppose it doesn't have to be factored in necessarily. Many bridal shops will have deep discounts if you look for them.

Anyway, aside from that...

$200 Church rental (they wouldn't cut me a deal even though I work for the diocese)
$50 Organist fee (I talked the organist down from $150 as a favor to a Church employee)
$150 Cake (but I should have had my adoptive-sister's boyfriend bake it...he's in culinary school)
$150 Reception Food (Italian catering, self-serve)
$650 Honeymoon (drove a few hours north to a quiet little country resort in Arkansas...during the off-season, just $65/night).
Free Cantoring (jiyoung sang...and considering she was invited to sing solo at St. Peter's Basilica, that's pretty good...my sister-in-law said she needed to turn down the mic, but she didn't have a mic)
Free Reception Rental (had it at the parish where I worked at the time)
Free Reception Music (iPod and speakers)
Free Wedding Night (gift from my boss...slightly awkward, considering he was a priest, but I took it)

Any other money spent was on small items.

In my opinion, the most important think about a wedding is the beginning of a marriage. Guests are secondary. Parents' wishes are secondary. Luxury is secondary. Two people becoming one in the sight of God is primary. We planned accordingly. Try to get a church reserved for free. Find friends in the music background who would be willing to put their gifts to the service of your wedding. Find little old ladies you know who can cook really well and see if they'll cater or bake the cake.

Settle on your honeymoon. Don't think it has to be a fancy place. The place you go and the things you do outside of your hotel room are not that important (don't get me wrong, we made the mistake of having a 10 day honeymoon and were bored out of our minds after the first few days...the things you do so much in the first days of marriage really don't take all day...thank goodness we had a movie theater within 30 minutes of us).

Cut out the expenses...food and cake can be done to everyone's satisfaction without an expensive caterer, DJing can be done by any friend who knows how to work an iPod, bridal dresses can be found for $99 at times, grooms aren't required to wear tuxes, and if you need a decorated Church, consider having your wedding right after Christmas or Easter.
[/quote]

Thank you, Micah. This was an excellent and very helpful post. This is kinda more in line with how I view a wedding should be: it should be about a community that comes together to help two members of that community to become one. It should not be an industry. You've given me quite a few ideas. Thank you.