Vocation To The Single Life

[OraProMe]

Does anyone here think they have (or currently living out) a vocation to the single life? Maybe share your plans and experience aswell as the joys and troubles that come with any vocation. Is loneliness a problem? What do you do with your time? Et cetera..

[Arpy]

Well, I sure as heck hope I'm living out a vocation to the single life. If I got married or ordained without knowing about it, I'm going to be pretty put out.

Um. Anyway, yeah, I don't have many problems with loneliness, partly because of my trust in God's plan and partly because I'm fairly introverted anyway and have no problem entertaining myself when I'm not hanging out with other people. My plan is to wait till going off to a four-year university before seeing about doing anything about my singleness. Then there is the matter of finding a girl who will put up with me and my weirdness, but God will provide. Or not, if for some ineffable reason He wants me to become a priest. As far as joys go, I'd say I'm pretty joyful being free to focus on everything and not just one person, enjoying the time that's been given to me, doing my best to prepare myself for whatever vocation I'm called to in future, and knowing that there are people I know who feel the same way.

[Jaime]

I don't have a problem with the idea that some folks are going to remain single their entire lives. I'm old and still single. I do have a problem with calling it a vocation. I don't think you can call something you were born with, a vocation.

And yes it can smell of elderberries sometimes.

[Brother Adam]

There is such a thing as "consecrated single life", but it is rare and only practiced in some places. The act of being single is not a vocation in itself.

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='hot stuff' date='06 January 2010 - 11:23 AM' timestamp='1262795032' post='2030865']
I don't think you can call something you were born with, a vocation.
[/quote]

If someone is single their entire life, what are they, "vocationless"?

[tinytherese]

Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati was single.

[Hilde]

I even think loneliness might be a problem if I were to life the religious life, but I might be wrong.

[tinytherese]

From what I've been told, whether you're single, married, consecrated, or in the priesthood you'll have times of loneliness.

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='tinytherese' date='06 January 2010 - 05:58 PM' timestamp='1262818687' post='2031193']
From what I've been told, whether you're single, married, consecrated, or in the priesthood you'll have times of loneliness.
[/quote]

I agree with this.

[Jaime]

[quote name='HisChildForever' date='06 January 2010 - 12:11 PM' timestamp='1262797865' post='2030898']
If someone is single their entire life, what are they, "vocationless"?
[/quote]

Yes?

My niece is 5 . She's a nice kid. the boys seem to like her well enough but she's still single. I don't think she considers being single and five a vocation. I don't think its a vocation. I don't think it magically becomes a vocation when you get old.

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='hot stuff' date='06 January 2010 - 08:49 PM' timestamp='1262828989' post='2031289']
Yes?

My niece is 5 . She's a nice kid. the boys seem to like her well enough but she's still single. I don't think she considers being single and five a vocation. I don't think its a vocation. I don't think it magically becomes a vocation when you get old.
[/quote]

That's not what I was talking about. A man who has been single all his life (as in, not married) dies at 85. If being single is not counted as a vocation, then what was his?

[Arpy]

Holiness.

[Hilde]

[quote name='Arpy' date='07 January 2010 - 05:01 AM' timestamp='1262833298' post='2031342']
Holiness.
[/quote]my vocation

[cappie]

I find no mention of an unconsecrated single “vocation” in Church teaching anywhere. As far as the Church is concerned, it doesn’t exist. Here is the problem: [i]“vocation,” in the sense the Church understands it[/i], means “to give oneself completely.” The Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes says that man finds himself only through a sincere gift of himself. John Paul II, in Mulieris Dignitatem, speaks of the “spousal disposition of women.” We – women and men -- were made to give ourselves, in love, to others. That’s where we find happiness.

Don’t singles give? Of course, often more than most. But vocation doesn’t mean “being a generous person.” It means giving our lives completely to another – either to a spouse in marriage or to God in consecrated virginity. And singleness doesn’t do that. In fact, the single state is defined by the lack of that gift.

But God writes straight with crooked lines. He meets us where we are. When we turn our lives over to Him, he creates something beautiful – beyond our wildest expectations. That beautiful life will be different for every unique person God touches. But a few threads run consistently.
Singleness gives an opportunity to turn to God in a profoundly personal way. With no other partner, God becomes partner. And when we turn to Him with that request, He answers. Singles are more aware that real fulfillment comes from giving. The absence of built-in gift in lives motivates single people to move outside of themselves and to reach out in love to those around us.

[Nihil Obstat]

We kind of tend to unofficially distinguish between "big V" and "small v" vocations on Phatmass, don't we? That might be what this is a question of.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='HisChildForever' date='06 January 2010 - 09:51 PM' timestamp='1262832664' post='2031335']
That's not what I was talking about. A man who has been single all his life (as in, not married) dies at 85. If being single is not counted as a vocation, then what was his?
[/quote]

Maybe his was marriage, but he was unable to fulfill it because he could not find the right woman. I believe that it was Mary Beth Bonacci who stated that a lot of people who really have the vocation to marriage cannot achieve it because the dating pool is poisoned.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='07 January 2010 - 12:04 AM' timestamp='1262844249' post='2031587']
Maybe his was marriage, but he was unable to fulfill it because he could not find the right woman. I believe that it was Mary Beth Bonacci who stated that a lot of people who really have the vocation to marriage cannot achieve it because the dating pool is poisoned.
[/quote]
That's how I feel at the moment.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='cappie' date='07 January 2010 - 12:55 AM' timestamp='1262843759' post='2031585']
I find no mention of an unconsecrated single “vocation” in Church teaching anywhere. As far as the Church is concerned, it doesn’t exist. Here is the problem: [i]“vocation,” in the sense the Church understands it[/i], means “to give oneself completely.” The Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes says that man finds himself only through a sincere gift of himself. John Paul II, in Mulieris Dignitatem, speaks of the “spousal disposition of women.” We – women and men -- were made to give ourselves, in love, to others. That’s where we find happiness.

Don’t singles give? Of course, often more than most. But vocation doesn’t mean “being a generous person.” It means giving our lives completely to another – either to a spouse in marriage or to God in consecrated virginity. And singleness doesn’t do that. In fact, the single state is defined by the lack of that gift.

But God writes straight with crooked lines. He meets us where we are. When we turn our lives over to Him, he creates something beautiful – beyond our wildest expectations. That beautiful life will be different for every unique person God touches. But a few threads run consistently.
Singleness gives an opportunity to turn to God in a profoundly personal way. With no other partner, God becomes partner. And when we turn to Him with that request, He answers. Singles are more aware that real fulfillment comes from giving. The absence of built-in gift in lives motivates single people to move outside of themselves and to reach out in love to those around us.
[/quote]

Ironically, we were both quoting from the same Mary Beth Bonacci article at the same time! Here is the full article:

http://www.4marks.com/articles/details.html?article_id=437

Edited January 7, 2010 by Norseman82

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='07 January 2010 - 01:04 AM' timestamp='1262844249' post='2031587']
Maybe his was marriage, but he was unable to fulfill it because he could not find the right woman. I believe that it was Mary Beth Bonacci who stated that a lot of people who really have the vocation to marriage cannot achieve it because the dating pool is poisoned.
[/quote]

Hm, kind of like those who are called to religious life but never answer?

[littleflower+JMJ]

[quote name='cappie' date='07 January 2010 - 12:55 AM' timestamp='1262843759' post='2031585']
I find no mention of an unconsecrated single “vocation” in Church teaching anywhere. As far as the Church is concerned, it doesn’t exist. Here is the problem: [i]“vocation,” in the sense the Church understands it[/i], means “to give oneself completely.” The Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes says that man finds himself only through a sincere gift of himself. John Paul II, in Mulieris Dignitatem, speaks of the “spousal disposition of women.” We – women and men -- were made to give ourselves, in love, to others. That’s where we find happiness.

Don’t singles give? Of course, often more than most. But vocation doesn’t mean “being a generous person.” It means giving our lives completely to another – either to a spouse in marriage or to God in consecrated virginity. And singleness doesn’t do that. In fact, the single state is defined by the lack of that gift.

But God writes straight with crooked lines. He meets us where we are. When we turn our lives over to Him, he creates something beautiful – beyond our wildest expectations. That beautiful life will be different for every unique person God touches. But a few threads run consistently.
Singleness gives an opportunity to turn to God in a profoundly personal way. With no other partner, God becomes partner. And when we turn to Him with that request, He answers. Singles are more aware that real fulfillment comes from giving. The absence of built-in gift in lives motivates single people to move outside of themselves and to reach out in love to those around us.
[/quote]

Awesome! And totally agree. More people need to learn this.