Vocation To The Single Life

[Norseman82]

[quote name='HisChildForever' date='07 January 2010 - 01:13 AM' timestamp='1262844783' post='2031591']
Hm, kind of like those who are called to religious life but never answer?
[/quote]

Maybe. Maybe not. But keep in mind, too, that we are not vocationless from birth, and we do not need to wander through life like mindless Archons crying out "What's my vocation?" The CCC states that the vocation to [b]marriage[/b] is what is placed into our very nature (see CCC 1603), and that the two state of life vocations are either marriage or "virginity for the sake of the kingdom", which is further clarified as priestly ministry or consecrated/religious life. So, the only thing we really need to discern is whether or not we have a vocation to something other than marriage.

[cappie]

Another good article:

[url="http://www.stbrigidofkildare.org/singlelife.htm"]http://www.stbrigidofkildare.org/singlelife.htm[/url]

[PadrePioOfPietrelcino]

long ago when I was learning sign language, I learned a common phrase in the deaf community I find personally true as well seeing how I'm 27 and never really dated anyone more than a couple times. I am alone yes, but not lonely.

[tinytherese]

I find it sad how many men are marriage-phobic (not that every single man is that way. Some just haven't found the right woman.)

My half-brother who is 31 let's just say hasn't grown up yet (claiming that he'll wait and do that when he's 40,) and is cautious about getting married because our dad and his mom had a really bitter divorce when he was two years old and they hate each other to this day still. Weeks ago I found out that when our dad and his first wife were having marriage problems and that they went to counseling. My dad was under the impression that this was an effort to save the marriage. Then he was shocked and humiliated at the second counseling session to hear his wife say that she didn't want to save the marriage and that she even had a boyfriend already. Dad asked why they were there then and she said that it was to help the two of them adjust. Dad stayed his ground by staying at the house even after the divorce was final because he saw it as it being his house and that he should fight for it. He lived in the basement while his ex-wife went out with her boyfriend. Eventually, living arrangements were settled, but because of his decision to stick it out he had a rocky relationship with his ex-wife and she tried to fight so that he couldn't see my brother anymore. Fortunately, he didn't lose him, but the situation was just ugly with his ex. No wonder my brother is nervous about marriage!

[Norseman82]

[quote name='tinytherese' date='07 January 2010 - 01:43 PM' timestamp='1262889829' post='2031824']
I find it sad how many men are marriage-phobic (not that every single man is that way. Some just haven't found the right woman.)

My half-brother who is 31 let's just say hasn't grown up yet (claiming that he'll wait and do that when he's 40,) and is cautious about getting married because our dad and his mom had a really bitter divorce when he was two years old and they hate each other to this day still. Weeks ago I found out that when our dad and his first wife were having marriage problems and that they went to counseling. My dad was under the impression that this was an effort to save the marriage. Then he was shocked and humiliated at the second counseling session to hear his wife say that she didn't want to save the marriage and that she even had a boyfriend already. Dad asked why they were there then and she said that it was to help the two of them adjust. Dad stayed his ground by staying at the house even after the divorce was final because he saw it as it being his house and that he should fight for it. He lived in the basement while his ex-wife went out with her boyfriend. Eventually, living arrangements were settled, but because of his decision to stick it out he had a rocky relationship with his ex-wife and she tried to fight so that he couldn't see my brother anymore. Fortunately, he didn't lose him, but the situation was just ugly with his ex. No wonder my brother is nervous about marriage!
[/quote]

I have found that the whole "fear of divorce" is what is making people in general phobic regarding marriage (although I've heard the comment more from women).

[Jaime]

[quote name='cappie' date='07 January 2010 - 12:55 AM' timestamp='1262843759' post='2031585']
I find no mention of an unconsecrated single "vocation" in Church teaching anywhere. As far as the Church is concerned, it doesn't exist. Here is the problem: [i]"vocation," in the sense the Church understands it[/i], means "to give oneself completely." The Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes says that man finds himself only through a sincere gift of himself. John Paul II, in Mulieris Dignitatem, speaks of the "spousal disposition of women." We – women and men -- were made to give ourselves, in love, to others. That's where we find happiness.

Don't singles give? Of course, often more than most. But vocation doesn't mean "being a generous person." It means giving our lives completely to another – either to a spouse in marriage or to God in consecrated virginity. And singleness doesn't do that. In fact, the single state is defined by the lack of that gift.

But God writes straight with crooked lines. He meets us where we are. When we turn our lives over to Him, he creates something beautiful – beyond our wildest expectations. That beautiful life will be different for every unique person God touches. But a few threads run consistently.
Singleness gives an opportunity to turn to God in a profoundly personal way. With no other partner, God becomes partner. And when we turn to Him with that request, He answers. Singles are more aware that real fulfillment comes from giving. The absence of built-in gift in lives motivates single people to move outside of themselves and to reach out in love to those around us.
[/quote]


My favorite cappucin

[Winchester]

[quote name='hot stuff' date='07 January 2010 - 08:42 PM' timestamp='1262914948' post='2032150']
My favorite cappucin
[/quote]
I like monkeys, too.

[Gregorius]

In my solitude, I am never alone, for God is always with me. Though I do admit, it's not all buds and roses, but that's mainly because I have a nasty habit of blocking God out of my head instead of just shutting up and listening to Him. Which by the way, God's getting more persuasive as of late. Prayers, please.

But anyway, just because single people aren't intimate, doesn't mean they can't have satisfying relationships. I have our God, my family, my friends, my parish, and my Phamily. Know what I mean?

So, no matter the vocation you have, Ora, or which one you want, or if you even want one right now, you are living the single life. Many of us here are also living the single life. And until we realize another call, this is the gift we have. So enjoy it. And share it with us, too. We enjoy the company.

[Gregorius]

On a lighter note, just as I was sitting in sorrow thinking God abandoned me, God [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0&feature=related"]just seems to call me through the ordinary life around me.[/url]

[southern california guy]

I think that I'm living this vocation to the single life against my will! In fact I'll bet that some of you guys are too..

So... what we need to do is to match people up -- so that their new vocation can be a married one!

Here's a picture of me.

[img]http://inlinethumb62.webshots.com/20861/2017356250066947068S500x500Q85.jpg[/img]

(Pretty appealing,huh! What do ya think? Do the fake tattoo's and wig make me look a little too sexy?)

Edited January 8, 2010 by southern california guy

[OraProMe]

^After reading your posts here and on FE I'd try to chill out a little. I'm sure girls would love you then

[southern california guy]

[quote name='OraProMe' date='07 January 2010 - 08:11 PM' timestamp='1262920270' post='2032193']
^After reading your posts here and on FE I'd try to chill out a little. I'm sure girls would love you then
[/quote]

Yeah, my post was a little much.. I shortened it.

So you're on Fish Eaters too?

Edited January 8, 2010 by southern california guy

[OraProMe]

I do a bit of lurking.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='southern california guy' date='07 January 2010 - 09:55 PM' timestamp='1262919327' post='2032181']
I think that I'm living this vocation to the single life against my will! In fact I'll bet that some of you guys are too..

So... what we need to do is to match people up -- so that their new vocation can be a married one!

Here's a picture of me.

[img]http://inlinethumb62.webshots.com/20861/2017356250066947068S500x500Q85.jpg[/img]

(Pretty appealing,huh! What do ya think? Do the fake tattoo's and wig make me look a little too sexy?)
[/quote]

Stick to pictures of yourself in hockey equipment, Rich.....

[Lilllabettt]

[quote name='southern california guy' date='07 January 2010 - 10:55 PM' timestamp='1262919327' post='2032181']

(Pretty appealing,huh! What do ya think? Do the fake tattoo's and wig make me look a little too sexy?)
[/quote]


I am beginning to think you have not been properly socialized.

[southern california guy]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' date='07 January 2010 - 09:13 PM' timestamp='1262924009' post='2032234']
I am beginning to think you have not been properly socialized.
[/quote]

So you don't think that the tattoo's will do it...

Actually I wore them to work when I first got them. And the reaction was not good.. In fact the tattoo's and wig were part of a costume that I wore to a Halloween party, and got the same fearful reaction at the Halloween party -- until people found out that they were fake.

I got them from Vampfangs.com

http://www.vampfangs.com/SearchResults.asp?Search=tattoo+sleeve&Search.x=11&Search.y=18

[dominicansoul]

[quote name='tinytherese' date='06 January 2010 - 05:58 PM' timestamp='1262818687' post='2031193']
From what I've been told, whether you're single, married, consecrated, or in the priesthood you'll have times of loneliness.
[/quote]
...there is an essential loneliness in all of us...it's a hunger that can only be filled by the Almighty God

[Laudate_Dominum]

[quote name='southern california guy' date='07 January 2010 - 09:55 PM' timestamp='1262919327' post='2032181']
I think that I'm living this vocation to the single life against my will! In fact I'll bet that some of you guys are too..

So... what we need to do is to match people up -- so that their new vocation can be a married one!

Here's a picture of me.

[img]http://inlinethumb62.webshots.com/20861/2017356250066947068S500x500Q85.jpg[/img]

(Pretty appealing,huh! What do ya think? Do the fake tattoo's and wig make me look a little too sexy?)
[/quote]

The tattoo's are win but the wig is too obvious imo. Cool fruit trees and such.

[IMG]http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h119/NoonienSoong_2006/Lulz/1290573111734113101.jpg[/IMG]

The wig is fail, but that's just my opinion. But anyway, you look fine in ur avatar pic.

[spoiler][IMG]http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h119/NoonienSoong_2006/Lulz/failtoycat.jpg[/IMG][/spoiler]

[zunshynn]

[quote name='southern california guy' date='07 January 2010 - 07:55 PM' timestamp='1262919327' post='2032181']
I think that I'm living this vocation to the single life against my will! In fact I'll bet that some of you guys are too..

So... what we need to do is to match people up -- so that their new vocation can be a married one!

Here's a picture of me.

[img]http://inlinethumb62.webshots.com/20861/2017356250066947068S500x500Q85.jpg[/img]

(Pretty appealing,huh! What do ya think? Do the fake tattoo's and wig make me look a little too sexy?)
[/quote]

I really don't want this to sound unkind... You're probably a very nice guy, but you seem really creepy and obsessive online... at least here. Like I said, I don't mean to be harsh... but I think you've got to go about this another way, so you don't come across so overwhelming.

While you were gone your thread about being in purgatory because you're single got bumped... and there was some good advice added to it... maybe you want to check it out?

[Lilllabettt]

[quote name='southern california guy' date='08 January 2010 - 01:05 AM' timestamp='1262927119' post='2032282']
So you don't think that the tattoo's will do it...
[/quote]

No, I mean you haven't been properly socialized. I have a friend who has a social adjustment disorder. He didn't have a normal adolesence, and so he never had a chance to practice integrating sexuality into socially appropriate behavior. In this area he has a 6 year old's presence of mind mixed with the hormones of an adult. So he just says things out loud. Brings up sex in the wrong setting, with the wrong people. Doesn't observe boundaries of intimacy. Sexualizes a lot of stuff. Asks inappropriate questions. He's not scary or violent. Just inappropriate.

I second zunshyn. check out that old thread.