Make A Marriage Poll?

[southern california guy]

Some nameless person here has suggested that my posts are all about looking for a spouse. Of course as a single guy I've always got my eyes open. However, having been raised Catholic, I'm also looking for friends and just a little social interaction. However since she mentioned it I started thinking why not do a marriage poll?

With the morality poll I was trying to see where the majority of us stood and get a little discussion going. Of course morality is a touchy issue because we all know people who have gotten divorced, had abortions, lived together before marriage, etc. Sure, some people will be offended.. but since this is a religious board -- and we're adults -- we can discuss morality here, right?

So boldly discussing this.. as Catholics what qualities are we looking for in a spouse? Beliefs? (Abortion, premarital sex, contraception, etc..) Catholic beliefs? When we say that we follow the teachings of the Catholic church do we look to the US Catholic church for guidance -- or the Pope and Rome? (On issues like annulments there appears to be some disagreement).

In the morality poll I could have asked much stronger questions -- like instead of asking if you believe in waiting until marriage for sex, I could have asked if you are single and a virgin, or were a virgin when you got married. However I felt that those sorts of questions would be a bit much and people might find them offensively intrusive.

The way that these polls work I don't think that you have to answer every single question to complete the poll. But now that I know how it works a "Public Poll" is NOT the way to go because it doesn't keep the answers anonymous. I screwed that up in the last poll.

So what questions should we ask?

Edited January 22, 2010 by southern california guy

[Lil Red]

[quote name='southern california guy' date='21 January 2010 - 09:28 PM' timestamp='1264134513' post='2042033']
Some nameless person here has suggested that my posts are all about looking for a spouse. Of course as a single guy I've always got my eyes open. However, having been raised Catholic, I'm also looking for friends and just a little social interaction.
[/quote]
+JMJ+
so to fight that perception, you made a marriage thread?

[southern california guy]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='21 January 2010 - 09:39 PM' timestamp='1264135140' post='2042048']
+JMJ+
so to fight that perception, you made a marriage thread?
[/quote]

No, she's not entirely wrong. I am always looking. I'm not really fighting that perception. She just gave me the idea to start this topic.

[mommas_boy]

Hey SoCal guy, have you checked out the forums on Catholic Match? They're really good, and are likely to get you noticed. PM doesn't seem to be so receptive of threads devoted only to marriage ad nauseum, but I think that the same threads on Catholic Match would go over very well.

Still, continue to post here, and engage in other discussions. After all, not only do you want to find your future spouse, but you also want to be holy for her. And we're all walking that path.

[tinytherese]

As far as beliefs go, I would say that my husband would have to be a devout practicing Catholic faithful to the Magisterium. He wouldn't have to be a virgin, because it is still possible for someone to turn their life around and to have renewed purity. He just needs to be pure of heart, just as the beatitude says. He also has to be chivalrous gentlemen with a sense of humor. It needs to be a healthy relationship where we lead each other to holiness. He has to be a man that I can honestly say that I would want our sons to become and who I would want married to my daughters.

Edited January 22, 2010 by tinytherese

[southern california guy]

[quote name='mommas_boy' date='21 January 2010 - 09:46 PM' timestamp='1264135580' post='2042052']
Hey SoCal guy, have you checked out the forums on Catholic Match? They're really good, and are likely to get you noticed. PM doesn't seem to be so receptive of threads devoted only to marriage ad nauseum, but I think that the same threads on Catholic Match would go over very well.
[/quote]

That's actually a bit too intimidating to me. I'm not seriously looking here. But I am seriously looking at Catholic Match so I'm much more concerned about the impression I make there!

I'd end up offending somebody and stigmatize myself...

[HisChildForever]

Check out a singles site, dude.

[Happy_Catholic]

I once had a list, a long one, detailing what I wanted in a man.

Then reality hit in and I realised I can't "list" people.

So, now I want a guy who loves God more then me and is Catholic, everything else is just a bonus.

If I'm indeed meant to have a man and get married et al, then God has the guy out there and we'll meet on His terms.

Did the internet thing, some of the scummiest guys I've met have been from those sites and claiming to be Catholic.

In short, don't worry about it, surrender it to God and let Him sort it out!

If it doesn't work out for me, then I'll be a crazy cat lady. 1043 cats will give me the love I need!

Edited January 22, 2010 by Happy_Catholic

[KeenanParkerII]

"HisChild" how do you manage to get the exact same pose in every one of your pics.

But for real now.. In order of importance:

A practicing Catholic
Kind-hearted
Intelligent
Down to earth
physically attractive
gentle (or) feisty?

Mix and match any two of those and we'll be doing good.

[HisChildForever]

If you mean how do I manage an emotionless expression in each picture, well, it's quite easy.

Oh, and it's HCF. Thanks.

[KeenanParkerII]

HFC it shall be!

[tinytherese]

His Forever Child

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='tinytherese' date='22 January 2010 - 01:10 AM' timestamp='1264140624' post='2042122']
His Forever Child
[/quote]

He's young yet. He'll learn.

[KeenanParkerII]

LOL I meant HCF.

[HisChildForever]

Sigh.

[KeenanParkerII]

[mommas_boy]

[quote name='southern california guy' date='22 January 2010 - 12:25 AM' timestamp='1264137946' post='2042088']
That's actually a bit too intimidating to me. I'm not seriously looking here. But I am seriously looking at Catholic Match so I'm much more concerned about the impression I make there!

I'd end up offending somebody and stigmatize myself...
[/quote]

Believe me, brother. It's all about getting yourself noticed. You don't want someone who likes the CookieCutter version of you that you present online. You want someone who likes the real you. Yeah, you gotta sell yourself, and package yourself to a certain extent to hook'em, but sooner or later ... who cares?

Look at it this way, what have you got to lose? Moreover, what have you got to gain? Yeah, you're going make people angry. Heck, I'm sure that most married people would tell you that they've made their spouse angry. Get used to it. And you know what, you might make one person angry, only to attract someone else, all in the same action.

Seriously, quit worrying. Be yourself. Because if you aren't yourself when you're trying to find the right person to ask on a date, then you surely won't be yourself when you begin seriously courting them, either. You'll be miserable. It would be cruel to you and to the young woman you happen to be courting.

Here's where you start: topics like this that you post on Phatmass, go ahead and keep posting them here. But, post them on Catholic Match, too. Watch for replies, and engage people in dialog. Discern together with them. Men and women. Even the women that you're not interested in. Because somebody is bound to notice. Even if you are arguing with one woman, some other woman entirely could come along and think to herself, "Wow. I've been watching this guy on CM forums for three months now, and I think I want to get to know him better."

So, brother to brother: grow a pair, and get on there.

[tinytherese]

From what I've been told, you can also look at what people believe regarding Church teaching on Ave Maria singles. Not everybody is orthodox on their, so you'd have to weed the heterox ones out.

[zunshynn]

Dude, you totally missed my point. Totally.

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='zunshynn' date='22 January 2010 - 02:12 AM' timestamp='1264144374' post='2042147']
Dude, you totally missed my point. Totally.
[/quote]

Oh, so you're the cause of the thread.