What Will We Look Like In Heaven?

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='tinytherese' date='23 February 2010 - 05:25 PM' timestamp='1266963944' post='2062132']
What if you die before 33?
[/quote]

3 N 1 Pearly Gates Way
Eternal Paradise, Heaven 77777

Dear TinyTherese,

Thank you for your interest in Divine Wisdom University. Our programs offer a wide variety of coming to know God face to face through the Beatific Vision. Additionally, the pleasures of the afterlife await those who are joined to Christ through faith lived out in the life of grace.

We regret to inform you that your application has been denied to do inherent age ineligibility. Normally, you might be placed on our waiting list, but since the end of the world and the immediate need to judge the nations hinges on the next decision by the Obama Administration, we're afraid you'll have to take your second choice fallback option for your eternal residence.

Please inform us if you turn 33 before the new presidential election. Enjoy the apocalypse.

Sincerely,

Simon "Petros" Bar-Jonah
Chairman of Admissions, Divine Wisdom University

[Marie-Therese]

[quote name='Raphael' date='23 February 2010 - 05:41 PM' timestamp='1266964861' post='2062143']
3 N 1 Pearly Gates Way
Eternal Paradise, Heaven 77777

Dear TinyTherese,

Thank you for your interest in Divine Wisdom University. Our programs offer a wide variety of coming to know God face to face through the Beatific Vision. Additionally, the pleasures of the afterlife await those who are joined to Christ through faith lived out in the life of grace.

We regret to inform you that your application has been denied to do inherent age ineligibility. Normally, you might be placed on our waiting list, but since the end of the world and the immediate need to judge the nations hinges on the next decision by the Obama Administration, we're afraid you'll have to take your second choice fallback option for your eternal residence.

Please inform us if you turn 33 before the new presidential election. Enjoy the apocalypse.

Sincerely,

Simon "Petros" Bar-Jonah
Chairman of Admissions, Divine Wisdom University
[/quote]




I hope that Heaven really, REALLY cleans up the looks, because I am 33 right now and this has been a rough year. Then again, I will be happy just to be the ugliest person in Heaven.

[Veridicus]

[quote name='Raphael' date='23 February 2010 - 03:30 PM' timestamp='1266960633' post='2062089']
There's a pious tradition out there that we will appear as we did at 33 (Christ's age at death), but glorified. If so, I have 8 years to lose some weight.

I don't think we'll ever get a definitive answer on this one, nor should we.
[/quote]

I'm in the same boat, Micah. I better start using some Rogaine too cuz I might have a lot less hair in 10 years.

[let_go_let_God]

[quote name='Raphael' date='23 February 2010 - 05:41 PM' timestamp='1266964861' post='2062143']
3 N 1 Pearly Gates Way
Eternal Paradise, Heaven 77777

Dear TinyTherese,

Thank you for your interest in Divine Wisdom University. Our programs offer a wide variety of coming to know God face to face through the Beatific Vision. Additionally, the pleasures of the afterlife await those who are joined to Christ through faith lived out in the life of grace.

We regret to inform you that your application has been denied to do inherent age ineligibility. Normally, you might be placed on our waiting list, but since the end of the world and the immediate need to judge the nations hinges on the next decision by the Obama Administration, we're afraid you'll have to take your second choice fallback option for your eternal residence.

Please inform us if you turn 33 before the new presidential election. Enjoy the apocalypse.

Sincerely,

Simon "Petros" Bar-Jonah
Chairman of Admissions, Divine Wisdom University
[/quote]


Amazing! Well written and laugh out loud funny!

However it doesn't mean that God doesn't know what you may have looked like at 33?

God bless-
LGLG

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='let_go_let_God' date='23 February 2010 - 08:50 PM' timestamp='1266976225' post='2062220']
However it doesn't mean that God doesn't know what you may have looked like at 33?

God bless-
LGLG
[/quote]
Yeah, God would know what you would have looked like at 33.

[let_go_let_God]

Therefore admission should be granted.

God bless-
LGLG

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='let_go_let_God' date='23 February 2010 - 10:53 PM' timestamp='1266983625' post='2062282']
Therefore admission should be granted.

God bless-
LGLG
[/quote]
Psst...it wasn't a real rejection letter!

[MissyP89]

Sometimes, it all sounds kind of silly to me. But I keep on truckin'. "Where else can we go, Lord?"

I hope I glimmer. Not like Twilight, though.

[Hilde]

I hope I have clear skin and a well working thyroid. And that i may eat as much chocolate and burritos i want without gaining wight.

Edited February 24, 2010 by Hilde

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='Hilde' date='24 February 2010 - 04:16 AM' timestamp='1267003013' post='2062346']
I hope I have clear skin and a well working thyroid. And that i may eat as much chocolate and burritos i want without gaining wight.
[/quote]
Darn wight gain problems. *shudders*

[KeenanParkerII]

I wonder if people in heaven have digestive systems..

[Ed Normile]

[quote name='Veridicus' date='23 February 2010 - 08:47 PM' timestamp='1266976064' post='2062219']
I'm in the same boat, Micah. I better start using some Rogaine too cuz I might have a lot less hair in 10 years.
[/quote]


I always used to tell my childhood friends that I would love to go bald. They used to rib me as I always have had that eddie munster hairline, the widow peak or high forehead at the corners, anyway my friends at 11 years old would tell me I was going to go bald, now that we are all near 50 and I am the only one who still has the same hair on my head as when I was a child, now when I say I would love to go bald they ask why don't I shave my head? For the same reason I want to go bald I am just not the type who likes to take the time to either get a haircut or shave my head each day, its bad enough shaving my face. Now I am battling a new problem, rapid ear, nose and eyebrow hairgrowth! Man I wish I would go totally bald.

ed

[Ed Normile]

Perhaps I should have kept to the "Mane" gist of this thread. I used to attend mass at a very traditional catholic church in Lebanon Ohio, the priest Father Lou was a gem. He was old and suffered from pancreatic cancer so they retired him and replaced him with a new younger priest, maybe fortyish, a real liberal looking guy, first thing he did was refurnish the rectory with modern art and stereo systems and computers. Father Lou had a good start on building a new church, the parish had a largely old folk membership as that was they way it turned out with most the youth leaving for employment etc. What really caused the idea of building a new church to be abandonded was the new priest. I was there for his first sermon, now you have to picture this, about 300 or so souls present, maybe 65% of whom are 60 to 80 years old, when at the homily the priest starts preaching how we will not see our loved ones in heaven, he explained that we now beleive that heaven is not a place where we will be gathered in new virile bodies rejoined with our loved ones mingling with the elect angels saints and Jesus, rather we were to be joined into the mystical light of God, formless beings becoming part of the being or power that is god. As we will be so awed by this presence we will not even miss our bodies or even want to see our lost loved ones.

You could hear a pin drop, the only time in my life I felt like punching a priest in the face came as I looked around at the group of old midwest people, most of whom I knew nothing of except for the little time I would interact with them either before or after mass, and seen this usually joyous group of old timers with their heads hanging low, some with a look of shock on their faces and one old man who recently lost his wife looking like he was trying to hide the tears from streaming down his face. This priest was not like Father Lou as he immediately left church after mass, jumped into his little sporty car and drove away, did not even greet the flock at the door, which is a good thing as I would have called him on his choice of homily. I was so upset that I started driving the 20 miles to a neighboring catholic church. The last time I went there was several months later, what struck me was there was maybe 40 - 50 people missing in that mass.

ed

Edited February 24, 2010 by Ed Normile