Thanks!

[Lisa]

Hi! I'm new on here but have been lurking for awhile. I just wanted to thank you all for posting about your vocation discernment stories- I'm beginning to discern and you have been super inspiring! Any advice to a newbie discerner?

[Hinter dem Horizont]

Hey there. I've been discerning for 2 years so far. My recommendation is that you pray the liturgy of the hours, either by buying a breviary or find an online version. Get a spiritual director that will meet with you monthly at the minimum. You can find them at the vocation office of your diocese or through pastoral care. Mine was through pastoral care. Pray diligently. Ask God directly what He wants for you. He'll lead you to the right path, do not worry. His answers might not come immediately but they will certainly come. Look at several orders. Don't focus on one. Sometimes the one you're focusing on is what YOU want rather than what God wants. Eventually you should start visiting orders.

That's all for now [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/priest.gif[/img]

Edited December 27, 2010 by Hinter dem Horizont

[HopefulBride]

Welcome Lisa

This may sound a bit repetitive but it is in fact true and proven. The advice I would give to you is to pray and to listen; this proved to be very helpful to me in my discernment and is a continued help for me.

I would also say that it is important to take your time and be patient. Often when a discerner starts on his or her journey there is the rush to know God's will right away (because we want to drop everything and get to it instantly for His Glory) I have noticed that in waiting, there is are lots of graces and wonders to be received and be filled by. We just need to give the Lord the time. It is also really helpful to be open. When it comes to the community the Lord might be calling you to, you should keep in mind that it may not be your very first choice. However, trust that what ever His will is for you it will bring you extreme happiness.

You are in my prayer.
HB

[Lisa]

Thanks so much! Question- what would you say are the identifying characteristics of the major religous orders? I know the basics, but feel like that would make it easier for me to process the massive amount of information. Or a good website to find this info?

Being patient and waiting on God's time will be my biggest challenge.

[ksterling]

Welcome, Lisa:

I've been an active VS participant for about 7 months - lurking for 6 before that - and I am actively discerning. I agree with all the advice previously given - I have had a spiritual director for about a year now. Before becoming a priest, he was married (wife died) so he has a true appreciation for different life vocations. I started seeing him once a month but have been seeing him more frequently. I have been learning to meditate - which is harder to do than it sounds - and trying to deepen my prayer life, which has been a profoundly enriching experience. For the last 8 months, I have been looking at different communities. I looked at my own education and work experience (I have a degree in finance and accounting and I am a CPA - I also teach a basic accounting course at the local community college.) The charism of teaching appeals to me so I started looking at communities that did this. MY SD's sister is a nun so I visited her community. It was my first visit and I had no idea of the different types of communities. The visit was a disaster. The sisters were very nice but had discarded all the traditions of religious life - chapel services were optional, you ate when you felt like it - no community meals, no habits, you could pick your job and it didn't have to be teaching, many sisters lived in apartments and rarely came to the motherhouse, which is an old cavernous place with many parts closed off because there is no money to heat them. No one has entered and stayed for about 10 years and all the sisters were much older than me. After that experience, I realized that I had to make a list of what I was looking for in a community - there must be a true sisterhood among the members - communal activities, communal prayer, a rich prayer life - sisters of all ages, including some around my own age (27), some definable habit and group I felt that I could be myself around. I looked at about 50 communities who are members of the Council of Major Superiors of Religious Women (www.cmswr.org). I emailed about 25 and actively corresponded with about a dozen. One community staffs a school not too far from where I live and I have visited the sisters there a few times though I have not yet visited the motherhouse. I plan to spend the next few months visiting the communities that really interest me and I hope to apply for acceptance in August (or September, depending on the community acceptance date.) I am even going to visit a few contemplative communities just to see. That is the plan I have worked out with my SD - we'll see if God's plan is the same! If you are just starting the discernment process, the most important thing (in my vast experience) is to really deepen your prayer life - read some biographies of the saints - particularly ones you admire. I liked Maximilian Kolbe, Edith Stein, St. Therese of Lisieux to start. I have also been reading Thomas Merton. My SD has a whole list of great books to help in the discernment process. And you MUST find a great SD who you feel really comfortable with. I have been especially blessed in that regard. It also helps if your family supports your decision. I have 2 sisters. My mother has grandchildren. To be very honest, I'm not sure how she would feel about my decision if I was her only daughter. She has been integral in my discernment process and completely supports my decision even though she is not a practicing Catholic. She went with me when I visited the nearby sisters and I give her the web addresses of the communities I am considering. She has made me take a second look at a few I had not considered. I also recommend that you engage your fellow PMers - some are formers sisters who can answer questions (stupid and otherwise), give you some insight into what the day to day living is like and generally be a supportive audience as you go through the process. You can also exchange private messages with fellow PMers you come to know. We have all shared the joy of PMers we have met on VS who entered religious life and we eagerly await news of their milestones (receipt of the habit, profession). So welcome to our little sorority and good luck in your discernment journey.

With fondest regards.

Kat

[Klaudi87]

Welcome!!! I second what everyone has said already...one more thing pray three hail marys everyday asking Our Lady to help you in your discernment and to guard your vocation! (whatever it may be) ...patience has also been a challenge for me, but I guess that's why it's a virtue ...I also stress the spiritual director, God will speak to you through him (of coarse pray that the Holy Spirit may guide him so that God may speak through him).

[stlmom]

Welcome Lisa, I don't post often but I have an interest in phatmass/VS/discerners as I have helped some relieve their student loan debts through the Mater Ecclesiae Fund and similar endeavors. I've learned so much over the years from wading through the websites of dozens of communities, and receiving correspondence from people in formation to whom I've given material and moral support. It is my way of "paying forward" the Sisters who helped to educate me. I "lean towards" Benedictine in my spirituality, but I am not formally affiliated with the Order. It gives me great hope for the future of the Church to read this forum. God bless your search!

[Sarah147]

[quote]MY SD's sister is a nun so I visited her community. It was my first visit and I had no idea of the different types of communities. The visit was a disaster. The sisters were very nice but had discarded all the traditions of religious life - chapel services were optional, you ate when you felt like it - no community meals, no habits, you could pick your job and it didn't have to be teaching, many sisters lived in apartments and rarely came to the motherhouse, which is an old cavernous place with many parts closed off because there is no money to heat them. No one has entered and stayed for about 10 years and all the sisters were much older than me.[/quote]

[Lisa]

You guys are great! I recently began spiritual direction and have been doing some additional spiriutal reading/prayer time. Situations like yours are ones that I definitely want to avoid- and I am much more interested in the CMSWR communites that uphold more traditional values/adherence to the church. Please pray for me as I'm beginning this journey with God to determine his will for me!

[MithLuin]

Welcome, Lisa! I look forward to hearing about your journey. One of the neat things about Vocation Station is to hear updates about where people are and how they have found different communities.

I think you'll learn about the different charisms as you go, and usually allowing an order to introduce you to their charism is more fruitful than reading a synopsis on a website or in an encyclopedia about the differences between them. I'll try to give you a brief outline as I see it below, but be warned - this is not very complete or informative!

Monastic life began way back in the early days of the Church. Once the Roman persecutions let up, people sought out a way to live out their faith in Jesus radically...without martyrdom. First, there were hermits who went out into the desert and sought solitude. Later, they formed communities guided by rules of religious life. The Rule of Saint Benedict and the Rule of Saint Augustine are two of the earliest rules (still in use today). Throughout much of the Middle Ages, Benedictine communities were the 'norm'. If you want to know what a religious rule is like, I suggest reading through the Rule of St. Benedict. It isn't long: [url=http://www.osb.org/gen/rule.html]start here[/url]. The motto of the Benedictines is 'Ora et Labora' - Pray and Work. They seek to live a life that is a balance of the two. They also try to show great hospitality to guests, whom they welcome as Jesus. They live a life that is strongly tied to their monastery.

The Benedictines were eventually reformed, and the Cistercian order was founded. Also from the Cistercians you eventually end up with the Trappists. Thomas Merton was a fairly famous Trappist monk at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Kentucky.

In the 12th century, the orders of friars sprung up. St Francis of Assisi began the Franciscans, who were itinerant rather than bound to a monastic home. They were devoted to radical poverty and begged for their food, roaming about preaching. While all religious live out poverty, chastity and obedience, Franciscans have a bit of a love affair with Lady Poverty. Their motto is 'Pax et Bonum' which means 'Peace and Goodwill.' (Or is it 'My God and My All'? I guess they are both Franciscan mottoes!) Holy Father Francis is considered by some to be the best disciple of Jesus to ever live.

Not to be overlooked, there are the Dominicans as well. St. Dominic founded an order that was also mobile, with the express goal of combating heresy in the South of France. The Dominicans are great scholars, laying claim to St. Thomas Aquinas, the great(est) theologian. Both Franciscans and Dominicans traditionally have great Marian devotions. But then...most orders do .

The Carmelites have a charism that is difficult to pin down. They are about love and mystical prayer and esoteric things like that. They boast several doctors of the Church on these topics, from the authoritative (and poetic) St. John of the Cross, to young Therese of Liseux and her 'Little Way.'

And then there's the Jesuits. But they don't have a female branch, so I won't even bother going there . Their motto is 'Ad Major Dei Glorium' which means 'For the Greater Glory of God.'

There are many other groups out there, as well, but these are some of the main branches. Hopefully it's enough to get you started! But like I said...look to the religious who live these charisms themselves for an explanation. They know it far better than the rest of us!

[elizabeth09]

Welcome

I been discerning for 2 years so far. But the last 2 month, I been thinking that God is really calling me. That what I gotten so for.

[Lilllabettt]

You have gotten some great advice so far.

One thing though: I would not necessarily restrict yourself to communities that belong to the CMSWR. That is definitely the "safe" method for those of us who are only interested in faithful, orthodox, communities. On the other hand, if you do stick with that you may miss out on some interesting possibilities.

Some beautiful, very traditional communities do not belong to the CMSWR, either because they are too small, or new, or for whatever reason : e.g., the Sister Servants of the Eternal Word.

And some communities have young vocations, are orthodox, wear a habit, live in community etc., and yet are members of the LCWR.

I have been visiting a community which belongs to the LCWR; they all wear a habit, live in community, keep an hour of Eucharistic adoration, and have 6-7 women in formation in their teens and twenties. Our own Sr. Marie here on phatmass belongs to a community in the LCWR. She is in her twenties, wears a habit, is totally orthodox, etc. There are a number of reasons a more established community might not have taken the definitive step to break from the LCWR and join the CMSWR but instead maintained a "holding pattern" ... it does not necessarily imply they are unorthodox or even untraditional.

So there is my two cents. It took a bit more leg work to find traditional non-CMSWR communities, but I'm glad I did, otherwise I would never have found the community I entered the first go-round, nor would I know about this other community I am visiting.

[ksterling]

I also agree that there are more communities than those who are members of the CMSWR that a discerner should consider - I have looked at others. I mean no disparagement of those who are not members - I was just explaining where I started my search. I know many of you will disagree with what I am about to say, but here goes. There are a number of new communities. Some of them have the characteristics that appeal to me and may appeal to Lisa (real sense of community, habit, rich prayer life). I worry, however, about their futures. Are they large enough to staff schools and earn a stipend? How do they otherwise support themselves? Insurance? Old age? There was a somewhat disturbing article in Time Magazine a few weeks ago about a group of sisters in a nursing home. Many were from orders that had no one else in them (or very few) and no sisters from their own communities to care for them. I contrast this with the Nashville Dominicans who seem to cherish and care for their older members. While some of these new communities may eventually become the next Ann Arbor Dominicans, I would worry. Yes, I know, some of you are going to say that you must go where God directs and that by ignoring these new foundations, maybe I am not doing His will. Maybe not but I can't imagine being comfortable in a community where half the members might leave and I'm all by myself. So, Lisa, if you are looking at any of these communties, I urge prudence. Don't overlook them, just ask a lots of questions. Traditional Mom posted a fabulous list of questions a discerner should ask communities she is interested in so I suggest you search for them and keep them handy.

Kat

Edited December 28, 2010 by ksterling

[vee]

Entrust yourself to St Joseph and he will guide and care for you as he did for Mary.
Expect the unexpected
Come to the phatmass chat room especially if you see VSers like me and dominicansoul in there cus we often talk about religious life. Then again she and I could be a very good reason to avoid that room! Edited December 30, 2010 by vee8

[holly.o]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1293669437' post='2195041']
Come to the phatmass chat room especially if you see VSers like me and dominicansoul in there cus we often talk about religious life. Then again she and I could be a very good reason to avoid that room!
[/quote]

Yes, go to the chat room when you see them there... mwahahahaha.

But anyways, I may have overlooked where someone already suggested these things, but definitely go to daily Mass, Eucharistic Adoration, pray the Rosary, make time everyday for silent prayer, read the Scriptures (maybe look up how to pray using lectio divina), and volunteer somewhere if you have the time. And don't take yourself too seriously!

God bless!