Sarah147 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hello, So, does anyone here have advice in growing in detachment in general? God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Santa Cruz Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I think John Of the Cross has some of the best teachings on detachment. All I can add is that the interior freedom in Christ which comes following the severing is well worth the struggle and pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) I find it quite difficult to detach from my will all the time. I want to work on this, especially to handle the big detachments that come with entrance to an order... abandoning your clothes, your "stuff," your wants, your TV, your computer, etc. Attachment seems to fill a need, probably lonliness, and so it seems like we need to work on filling that, for the attachments to break. Any thoughts? Edited February 2, 2011 by JoyfulLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 It is, in my experience, difficult to detach no matter the circumstance. I believe I'm prepared to detach without consequence and usually that is quite wrong. I find that true detachment is discovered not obtained. Does that make sense? True detachment is hardly ever noticed on my end, it is more often pointed out. What brings it about? Truly prayer and meditation and a constant request to make me a saint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Pray to the Holy Spirit for the gift of knowledge because it is the gift of detachment. http://www.ewtn.com/library/mother/ma18e.htm [quote]He detaches me from the things of this world with the Gift of Knowledge.[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Santa Cruz Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1296687764' post='2207953'] I find it quite difficult to detach from my will all the time. I want to work on this, especially to handle the big detachments that come with entrance to an order... abandoning your clothes, your "stuff," your wants, your TV, your computer, etc. Attachment seems to fill a need, probably lonliness, and so it seems like we need to work on filling that, for the attachments to break. Any thoughts? [/quote] I totally agree. Only by literally clinging to Christ can we get our lives properly ordered as that is all that an attachment is, a disorder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Santa Cruz Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) [quote name='hugheyforlife' timestamp='1296692236' post='2207997'] It is, in my experience, difficult to detach no matter the circumstance. I believe I'm prepared to detach without consequence and usually that is quite wrong. I find that true detachment is discovered not obtained. Does that make sense? True detachment is hardly ever noticed on my end, it is more often pointed out. What brings it about? Truly prayer and meditation and a constant request to make me a saint. [/quote] I agree but we can also work to make ourselves open to receiving the gift(s). For instance, John of the Cross teaches to always be inclined toward what is the least liked, the most uncomfortable. If there is a plate of a variety of cookies in front of you, take the one that is your least favorite, without drawing attention to yourself. Just like in the case of the virtues, we have to create holy habits, do the work on our part. Of course it is all a gift from God but we need to participate. Read some good books on the virtues. It is about holy habits and surely prayer but not without applying. It can be suddenly "infused" by the Holy Spirit but that is not common. Fasting and penance (all approved by one's confessor or spiritual director or superior....) can surely assist you along this path, helping you to become more aware of your self and also the promptings of the Holy Spirit... I am not AT ALL a person who is an expert nor have I "arrived". It is something that I have spent a bit of time studying in conjunction with spending 2 years in an austere religious community. Edited February 3, 2011 by Santa Cruz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sister Marie Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1296687764' post='2207953'] I find it quite difficult to detach from my will all the time. I want to work on this, especially to handle the big detachments that come with entrance to an order... abandoning your clothes, your "stuff," your wants, your TV, your computer, etc. Attachment seems to fill a need, probably lonliness, and so it seems like we need to work on filling that, for the attachments to break. Any thoughts? [/quote] As hard as detachment from clothes, stuff, TV, computer, and other external things are, I found them much easier to detach from as compared with the interior things when I entered religious life. For me, detachment from praise, work, success, and independence was much more difficult to achieve... and I still haven't! It's amazing the things you depend on without even realizing they are important to you until they are not center-stage in life anymore. Our culture really forces us to care about "number 1" all the time. No matter how hard we try our culture still shapes us and God works with that. He will guide that journey of detachment, especially when it is difficult and things come to light that we didn't even realize were there. It is definitely a good idea to intentionally live detachment (ie. eating the cookie you don't like, picking the job you dislike the most, doing the nicest thing for the person who isn't your cup of tea). I agree that attachment always fills a need, but all of us have a different need to fill... so finding out which it is is the most important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 [quote name='hugheyforlife' timestamp='1296692236' post='2207997'] It is, in my experience, difficult to detach no matter the circumstance. I believe I'm prepared to detach without consequence and usually that is quite wrong. I find that true detachment is discovered not obtained. Does that make sense? True detachment is hardly ever noticed on my end, it is more often pointed out. What brings it about? Truly prayer and meditation and a constant request to make me a saint. [/quote] I'm with hughey on this one. In my experience, detachment is something that comes as one grows in prayer and grows in love. Because as you grow in these two areas (and aren't they really just one when it comes down to it?), you come to desire more and more only Jesus and his will. And the more you grow to love only Jesus and his will, the less everything else in life will matter. In the end, it is Jesus who draws souls to himself, giving them the love with which to love him and only him. There are, of course, some things a soul can work on for their own part. Fasting is a great tool for learning to deny oneself, detachment from one's own will. Making acts of faith, hope, and especially love. Asking our Lord for the grace to love him above all things. Asking our Lord, begging our Lord, for the grace to love his will above your own. But above all-- focus on your prayer life. If you want to grow in [i]any[/i] virtue; pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chamomile Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Prayer is definitely the source of all our virtues, as has been pointed out a couple times. And your disposition in prayer is important. I love the litanies in the Divine Liturgy, as the people's response is "Lord, have mercy." Not, do this as we want it to be done, but only show us Your merciful love and we will rejoice and be at peace. And then live out that prayer of detachment... I like this quote from Blessed Mother Teresa: [b]"Accept whatever He gives - and give whatever He takes with a big smile."[/b] [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile2.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile2.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile2.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile2.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile2.gif[/img][img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile2.gif[/img] (which feels more like [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/dry.gif[/img] sometimes....) [i]Come Be My Light[/i] is a good book to read, as she was so detached from the consolations of the spiritual life yet still continued to strive for perfect charity in all things. Forget yourself. Live for others. This doesn't necessarily mean [i]doing[/i] things in the strict sense of outward activity but giving however God asks you to give (like sacrificing time for prayer or being quiet when you want to say something). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chamomile Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 P.S. My Franciscan-ness compels me to add... It also helps to literally give material things away. Especially things you know you like a lot or have too much of. Like if you have too many winter coats, give some to the poor. If you have a thing for shoes or handbags, choose the ones you need and give the rest away. If you have random knick-knacks in your room, give them away. In our minds, it may be easy to think about giving up these things when we, God-willing, enter religious life. But while still in the world, it's sometimes harder to part with these things that bring us comfort. Live poorly and simply. And spend time with the poor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I've been thinking about this particular topic all night and morning, and have felt prodded by that pesty Holy Spirit (love You!) to share a little bit more, this time from my personal life. God is granting me the beautiful (and painful) gift of growing in detachment in many different areas of my life right now. As many of you know, I'm in a waiting period in terms of my vocation. I have been accepted into a religious order and am all set to enter as soon as my financial situation is alleviated. And while this is probably one of the most difficult periods of my life, it is also one in which I can see so clearly the many blessings and graces and works God is doing in my life right. With the over-riding theme being [i]detachment[/i]. Currently I am living at home, which is 3,000 miles away from all of my friends, most especially my best friend and many others who have been of great help in my spiritual life and discernment. Including my spiritual director of four years (we talk once a month by phone... but it's not nearly the same as in person). I live in a non-Catholic, non-Christian household and in a greater environment of atheism (oh Pacific Northwest), where I don't know anyone my age who is Catholic. I'm also much without a mentor or guide. Which is a brand new experience for me. All to say I haven't anyone with whom I can share... anything... on a personal level. In many ways, it is excruciatingly lonely I say all of this, not seeking pitty for my situation or for me, but to describe the circumstances in which the Lord is pleased to draw me ever closer to himself. See, sometimes our good God strips us away from everything that we consider to be good for us and our spiritual development, so as to teach us to depend solely on him and his love. Practically speaking, in my life right now, this means learning to let all of my desires for deeper human relationships (which are of course very good things!) to be satiated in God alone. To learn how to love God [i]principally[/i], so that my love for [i]all[/i] others may be [i]in the same love[/i] with which I love God. Simply put, so I can love others for [i]his[/i] benefit. Before (and still, as this is an on-going process), I loved others imperfectly and loved God even more imperfectly. Now I must stripped of those loves, I must learn to love God perfectly, and then I must love those others of whom I've been stripped, with the perfect love of God. Kind of like a newly painted car. It must first be stripped of its previous paint before the new and better paint can be applied. This, I think, is a process especially needed in order to understand the nature of the vocation of the celibate and pure, celibate love. To love God principally and others for his sake. I also find my 'waiting' situation to be an opportunity for the purification of my own will and desires. In a two-fold sense. First is somewhat of the obvious... abandonment to his will. Loving his will above my own. Clearly it is not his will I be in the convent at this exact moment, no matter how badly I desire it. These desires (for the religious life) have been written on my heart by my Jesus, but it does not yet please him to fulfill those desires. I asked the Lord, one night, why he should please to give me these growing desires yet not see it good to fulfill them (you can see that I've not yet fully learned his lesson) and responded with a very powerful image... I saw my heart and his hand carving these desires into my heart. With each subsequent 'round' of carving, with the desires being carved deeper and deeper into the flesh of my heart, I suffered more and more... and I desired it more and more. The deeper it was written on my heart, the more painful it became, and the stronger the desire became. And then I heard his voice, "I do this so that this desire may never fade." A beautiful imagine, no? Yet ought that I may have loved his will without seeking an understanding of it. My questioning was not of the practical, as was Mary's, but of distrust. Grant that we may always love his will, even if we do not understand it. It is only in loving his will that we shall bring him joy and our own joy shall be complete! And if that can't be done outside of the convent, do I expect to be able to do so magically inside? There is a second sense in which I find my waiting as an opportunity for detachment... And, as backwards as this might sound, it is an opportunity for detachment from the desire for religious life itself. Obviously the desire for religious life is a [i]great[/i] good, and one that I firmly believe has been given me by the Lord himself. Yet, I must love and desire Jesus above even that desire. How easily the evil one sneaks into the hearts of good souls with holy desires! He knows he cannot take way those good and holy desires, so instead he snares the soul into loving and seeking those desires [i]over[/i] Jesus! How easily, how little we see it, that we love the gifts of God more than we love and desire him! Although these are good and inspired desires, we must not cling to them. We must, in a certain way, be detached from them, and seek only the Lord and his will. If we do this, and it turns out that he does indeed wish to fulfill our desires, it will happen by default. The difference is so subtle... I'm not sure I'm doing a good job of describing it. There are a few other ways in which I see God actively purifying me, but I've already written too much. Sorry! Detachment is so important and we should always desire the graces to love God more than all things [i]and[/i] to love all other things with the purified love of God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) I hope it doesnt break copyright rules to pso thtis but here is an excerpt from [url="http://www.amazon.com/Mother-Angelicas-Lessons-Everyday-Spirituality/dp/0385519850"]http://www.amazon.co...y/dp/0385519850[/url] an excellent book. Knowledge is that gift of the Holy Spirit that detaches us. We often think of knowledge as the acquisition of a particular discipline or subject. But the gift the Spirit gives us is knowledge of how God thinks, how He regards life and things. It gives me an insight into the transitory nature of all that is created. The gift of knowledge puts heart into your Christianity. Many good people live a Christianity of the mind where they profess Him with their lips. But Paul said that isnt enough; to be saved Jesus must be accepted by my heart (Rom 10:9). If your Christianity is only an acceptance of truth and an ethical code, then your Christianity is in the mind. The danger there is, when something befalls you, you cannot understand it. Your religion is in peril. Our minds cannot reason everything out; pain and suffering and famine, for instance... The gift of knowledge helps me find the pearl of great price buried in the soil of adversity. The gift of knowledge gives me awareness of the one thing necessary in this life: my union with God and His kingdom. It makes us realize that we do not have here a lasting city. This is not our home. The early Christians knew this and we have forgotten it, or perhaps never knew it. Being healthy, wealthy, and wise was not their life's goal. The gift of knowledge helped them see that this life is a temporary testing ground. This gift, that we must nurture and make grow in our hearts, leads to an utter detachment from everything. There are things we must accomplish in this life, and people we must love, but we cannot become attached to them all. Our whole lives are hampered by things and people and ourselves, but with the gift of knowledge I am not hampered by anything. If I have friends, I give them to God. If I have things and they make me happy and suddenly they are gone, I give those to God as well. We must be detached from everything. I know a woman, and the first thing she did when she bought a new table was to take a piece of glass and scratch it. She knew she had this hang-up. She was so focused on having a perfect table she couldnt focus on the people around her table. so she scratched it, gave thanks to God, and she had peace. That is utilizing the gift of knowledge. I have to have that disposition that I can live in the world and love it and see it and enjoy it, but never lose sight of heaven. I can have things and have them taken away with equal grace because its not permanent. The thing that is really valuable, the wealth that time cannot consume is waiting for me in the kingdom. The gift of knowledge is detachment and hope. it is that balance of the spiritual with the human, between life here and the life to come. Edited February 3, 2011 by vee8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 This thread is fiiiiiiilled with wonderful advise and discussions. God bless you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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