JulianofLdn Posted June 18, 2011 Author Posted June 18, 2011 Off to my first meeting this afternoon [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/clap2.gif[/img]Nervous, feeling confused about a whole bunch of things... so that's all perfectly normal, then! FutureSister2009 - yes, talk to your priest. Also, I'm not sure how it is in the US, but here in the UK the Jesuits will help you find spiritual direction, too. You could always try contacting them if you're still not getting anywhere?
carmenchristi Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 [quote name='JulianofLdn' timestamp='1308393790' post='2255509'] Off to my first meeting this afternoon [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/clap2.gif[/img]Nervous, feeling confused about a whole bunch of things... so that's all perfectly normal, then! FutureSister2009 - yes, talk to your priest. Also, I'm not sure how it is in the US, but here in the UK the Jesuits will help you find spiritual direction, too. You could always try contacting them if you're still not getting anywhere? [/quote] Praying 4 you! Well... I'm not so sure about the Jesuits in the US. I don't actually know any of them, but they have quite the rep for being super liberal. I LOVE the Jesuits in Italy, they are wonderful. My SD is not a Jesuit, but he follows a Jesuit spirituality and has helped me sooooo much. I also go to confession at the Jesuit church here and have always found wonderful priests.
Lisa Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) [quote name='carmenchristi' timestamp='1308402372' post='2255526'] Praying 4 you! Well... I'm not so sure about the Jesuits in the US. I don't actually know any of them, but they have quite the rep for being super liberal. I LOVE the Jesuits in Italy, they are wonderful. My SD is not a Jesuit, but he follows a Jesuit spirituality and has helped me sooooo much. I also go to confession at the Jesuit church here and have always found wonderful priests. [/quote] This is true in general , but like any order, we have to remember that there are extremely holy, orthodox Jesuits... just like there are extremely liberal individuals in otherwise conservative orders. Don't necessarily be turned off from looking for a spiritual director just because they are in a specific order. I'll pray at Mass today for all those looking for one! Edited June 18, 2011 by Lisa
faithcecelia Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 [quote name='JulianofLdn' timestamp='1308393790' post='2255509'] Off to my first meeting this afternoon [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/clap2.gif[/img]Nervous, feeling confused about a whole bunch of things... so that's all perfectly normal, then! [/quote] How did it go? Ive been thinking about you today.
carmenchristi Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 [quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1308403273' post='2255531'] This is true in general , but like any order, we have to remember that there are extremely holy, orthodox Jesuits... just like there are extremely liberal individuals in otherwise conservative orders. Don't necessarily be turned off from looking for a spiritual director just because they are in a specific order. I'll pray at Mass today for all those looking for one! [/quote] You are right... one tends to have the antennae go up at the words "American Jesuit", but of course we should never stereotype.... I hope that if I ever go back to the states I'll be able to find a good Jesuit SD because their spirituality has helped me soooo much! Julian... let us know how it went!!
TeresaBenedicta Posted June 18, 2011 Posted June 18, 2011 [quote name='carmenchristi' timestamp='1308431512' post='2255702'] You are right... one tends to have the antennae go up at the words "American Jesuit", but of course we should never stereotype.... I hope that if I ever go back to the states I'll be able to find a good Jesuit SD because their spirituality has helped me soooo much! Julian... let us know how it went!! [/quote] All of the Jesuits I've met and know are excellent priests. So I've kind of let that stereotype fall away. Hasn't really proven true for me.
JulianofLdn Posted June 19, 2011 Author Posted June 19, 2011 It was lovely. Easy. I was shy at first and stumbled over what to say, but then she started to talk and I could have sat and listened to her forever! She was wonderful, reassuring and practical. She gave direct advice about the things I'd asked specifically about (prayer, how to balance spiritual life with real-world issues) and was just so warm and encouraging and joyful. We laughed more than I thought we would! I came away feeling very happy and positive. We didn't make a date for the next meeting - she said to contact her when I wanted to talk again. I didn't bring up the question or issue of discerning. It was too early, and I know she would have said that it was too early, too! Not when I'm still stressing about why I'm less structured with my prayer life than I was before my confirmation... and I know (and she said) that I'm in the levelling-out period of my spiritual life, after having a very intense and emotional few months. Yes, it's definitely too early to talk about discerning. Other things? I mentioned that I thought I'd like Theresa of Avila (the more I read about her, the more accessible I find her! I love her sense of humour and her sarcasm, but also her passion and dedication) and Sr Mary remarked that she thought Theresa would like me, too! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blush.gif[/img] Funny how such a little thing made me feel very happy! It was an interesting discussion, though, about types of spirituality, where St John of the Cross represented the cautious, reflective type of person and Theresa was more of an intense, throw-yourself-into-things gal. I'm definitely the latter. Sr Mary is the former. She provided necessary balance. As to the Carmel - well, I just wanted to vault the low wall in the parlour and run into the building! There's something about the building itself which feels very warm, like an architectural hug. Such peace and beauty. So she gave me some things to do, and a little book to read about Carmelite prayer. I think I'll live her advice for about a month or so, then write to her again, and we can take it from there. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/like.gif[/img] Faith, I thought of you too whilst I was there. It is such a lovely place, it feels filled with happiness.... I really hope it works out for you when you visit in July [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nunpray.gif[/img]
add Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 my Spiritual Director wears Nehru collar, anything less wrong, terribly wrong. I'm catholic
faithcecelia Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 I am so, so pleased it went well - I have a big smile just reading your post! Could you see what I meant when I said she gets you to open up at quite a deep level, but prompts you so gently that its easy?? Was the book she gave you 'Upon this Mountain'? If so, its one she wrote and is absolutely beautiful - when we first got it at Q the waiting list to read it went on forever, and I bought my own copy almost as soon as I was sent away! She is very wise and I found myself asking and taking her advise even in the time after I had decided not to go there (before changing my mind again!) and she will help guide you very carefully and gently. She is very easy to trust. I love St Teresa too! She is easily my favourite Carmelite saint You are right, the more you read her works (or even better, hear them read aloud) the more easy they are to understand. Her sarcasm is tangiable and her humour shines through. She also comes across as a very modern woman too. Oh I am so pleased it went well! Now I'm even more excited about seeing her again myself on 1st July!
carmenchristi Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 amesome news Julian..... Onward and upward! [quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1308435620' post='2255720'] All of the Jesuits I've met and know are excellent priests. So I've kind of let that stereotype fall away. Hasn't really proven true for me. [/quote] This makes me very happy.
krissylou Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 [quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1306855965' post='2248172'] I need to find one, just not sure where. [/quote] Also try any religious communities near you. Many monasteries offer spiritual direction although they tend not to advertise it. (Even if they don't, they won't consider it a weird question.) Also, call up any nearby retreat centers. Or you could try the shopping mall. http://www.stfrancischapel.org/en/ http://www.carmelitechapel.com/ http://www.franciscancm.org/index.php?page=Franciscan-Place
MargaretTeresa Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 I suppose I should be emailing my pastor about a spiritual director... I just don't think that he realizes that I am discerning (have been since BEFORE joining the church) {[i]le gasp[/i]} and could be awkward. Gosh.
faithcecelia Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 [quote name='MargaretTeresa' timestamp='1308515211' post='2256058'] I suppose I should be emailing my pastor about a spiritual director... I just don't think that he realizes that I am discerning (have been since BEFORE joining the church) {[i]le gasp[/i]} and could be awkward. Gosh. [/quote] If you are not comfortable telling your own priest you are discerning yet, don't. Its not only discerners who have spiritual directors, many people in other states of life do too. That said, I'm sure he would be delighted and would pray for you - you can never have too many prayers!
Lisa Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 [quote name='MargaretTeresa' timestamp='1308515211' post='2256058'] I suppose I should be emailing my pastor about a spiritual director... I just don't think that he realizes that I am discerning (have been since BEFORE joining the church) {[i]le gasp[/i]} and could be awkward. Gosh. [/quote] speaking from experience, I worked myself up a lot about asking my priest. I asked him in the confessional (read: if I didn't decide to do anything about it, he couldn't bring it up to me ) and then he wasn't even surprised by it.
MargaretTeresa Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 [quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1308515408' post='2256060'] If you are not comfortable telling your own priest you are discerning yet, don't. Its not only discerners who have spiritual directors, many people in other states of life do too. That said, I'm sure he would be delighted and would pray for you - you can never have too many prayers! [/quote] Thanks Faith. I need to think of what I'm going to tell him, as far as wanting one, besides to immerse myself in God... Or maybe that's reason enough...
carmenchristi Posted June 19, 2011 Posted June 19, 2011 [quote name='krissylou' timestamp='1308488021' post='2255917'] Or you could try the shopping mall. [url="http://www.stfrancischapel.org/en/"]http://www.stfrancischapel.org/en/[/url] [url="http://www.carmelitechapel.com/"]http://www.carmelitechapel.com/[/url] [url="http://www.franciscancm.org/index.php?page=Franciscan-Place"]http://www.francisca...ranciscan-Place[/url] [/quote] GOTTA LOVE IT!!!! I used to live in central NY, and went to the Franciscan Place in the Carousel Mall a lot. The friars there are WONDERFUL! I love this idea of reaching out through "mall ministry".
FutureSister2009 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 This may be a dumb question, do you really need to have a Spiritual Director before you enter into any community?
Nunsense Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 [quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1309271073' post='2259652'] This may be a dumb question, do you really need to have a Spiritual Director before you enter into any community? [/quote] Not really, if you are comfortable with your decisions and not experiencing any reservations or doubts. They can be a good guide even for those who are not discerning (this has been mentioned above) but even though there is nothing better than a good SD, there is also nothing worse than a bad one because you are trusting that this person will guide your soul closer towards holiness. Perhaps if you have a good relationship with the community you are entering, you would be happy just speaking with one of them before you enter about any concerns that might arise?
FutureSister2009 Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 [quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1309271542' post='2259657'] Not really, if you are comfortable with your decisions and not experiencing any reservations or doubts. They can be a good guide even for those who are not discerning (this has been mentioned above) but even though there is nothing better than a good SD, there is also nothing worse than a bad one because you are trusting that this person will guide your soul closer towards holiness. Perhaps if you have a good relationship with the community you are entering, you would be happy just speaking with one of them before you enter about any concerns that might arise? [/quote] Thank you very much
carmenchristi Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 [quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1309271542' post='2259657'] Not really, if you are comfortable with your decisions and not experiencing any reservations or doubts. They can be a good guide even for those who are not discerning (this has been mentioned above) but even though there is nothing better than a good SD, there is also nothing worse than a bad one because you are trusting that this person will guide your soul closer towards holiness. Perhaps if you have a good relationship with the community you are entering, you would be happy just speaking with one of them before you enter about any concerns that might arise? [/quote] Good advice. If you can find a GOOD spiritual director, it's good to go through a guided discernment process. It will give you a more solid foundation upon which to build your religious life. But if you can't find a good one, you are better off without. I was terrified of talking to a SD when I was younger (I had all I could do to drag myself to confession every 15 days), so I was on my own. Though I didn't realize it at the time, I had gaps that I later needed to fill in. So pray about it... God may be calling you to find a SD, and maybe not.
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