Jaime Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 After the dust has settled, and the Rapture completed, it has now been revealed the true church that "got it right". The faithful members of this denomination were all seen ascending to heaven. [b] [/b] Congratulations to all Phatmass members of the [size="2"]International Church of the Foursquare Gospel in Canada for having the best understanding of the true nature of God. [img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1f/Foursquare.png[/img] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaatee Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 ...and if you missed it, here's why... [url="http://imgur.com//gallery/45mjU"]http://imgur.com//gallery/45mjU[/url] hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Twitter says some people are considering suing the preacher who predicted the rapture that never happened.... I guess if you didn't pay your bills and got hit with late charges, or didn't go to work and got fired... well, maybe there's a case here?? Anyone suffer financial loss over this non-event? Actually, I kinda feel sorry for the poor old man - he's nearly 90 and has probably been dying (literally) for the rapture to happen in his lifetime. I'm sure he will go to God soon enough, but it obviously wasn't soon enough for him. It's really sweet that he cares that much. And it did get people talking about God again, although most of it was jokes.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent Vega Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 [quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1306031982' post='2244380'] Actually, I kinda feel sorry for the poor old man - he's nearly 90 and has probably been dying (literally) for the rapture to happen in his lifetime. I'm sure he will go to God soon enough, but it obviously wasn't soon enough for him. It's really sweet that he cares that much. [/quote] I suppose that's one way of looking at it nicely, but I see him as no better than Luther or Calvin or Smith or anyone else who have, in their pride, done nothing but lead people away from the True Church. God have mercy on him for his (at best) misguidance (or at worst, outright lies). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 One thing I could never understand about rapture theology, is that if God was fixin to have a throwdown, why would he take out his first string before the battle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent Vega Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1306034563' post='2244400'] One thing I could never understand about rapture theology, is that if God was fixin to have a throwdown, why would he take out his first string before the battle? [/quote] And that's why you don't see any protestant schools winning national championships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed Normile Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1306034563' post='2244400'] One thing I could never understand about rapture theology, is that if God was fixin to have a throwdown, why would he take out his first string before the battle? [/quote] Great point Catherine! This guy seems like many others who suffer from the vanity that they must or even can can know the will of God. I guess in their lives there is no room for the mysteries, sad. ed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I also find it interesting that rapture churches typically are those that take the bible literal to the word, except those that say we can't know the hour that Christ will return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1306037354' post='2244420'] I also find it interesting that rapture churches typically are those that take the bible literal to the word, except those that say we can't know the hour that Christ will return. [/quote] one person told me that if it was only said once in scripture, it didn't count. It had to be repeated three times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice_nine Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 [quote name='jaime (the artist formerly known as hot stuff)' timestamp='1306037521' post='2244422'] one person told me that if it was only said once in scripture, it didn't count. It had to be repeated three times [/quote] and thus the logical follow-up question: how many times are the gays mentioned? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Well, if Saturday Night Live is any indication of the trend in America, Seth Meyers made a "Protestant" joke in his Weekend Update. I don't recall ever hearing a joke about "Protestants", but I welcome the new trend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessalonian Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 [quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1306037354' post='2244420'] I also find it interesting that rapture churches typically are those that take the bible literal to the word, except those that say we can't know the hour that Christ will return. [/quote] And of course John 6. But that goes without saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 [quote name='thessalonian' timestamp='1306086620' post='2244489'] And of course John 6. But that goes without saying. [/quote] Yeah, and Jesus does repeat himself more than 3 times, so .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groo the Wanderer Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Raptors FTW! [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v514/Gazpacho42/raptorcavalry.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 [quote name='Ice_nine' timestamp='1306076629' post='2244468'] and thus the logical follow-up question: how many times are the gays mentioned? [/quote] Well the logical follow up for me was "Christ mentioned that we had to eat his flesh more than three times" but to each his own Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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