Does Anyone Else....

[faithcecelia]

Am I the only one who looks at various communities that are mentioned on here, read their websites, and then find themselves wanting to be in most of them?? I am sure I am a Carmelite, I have been sure of that for a long time now and its the reason I have been willing and able to bide my time waiting to return, but in the past few weeks I have had fellting desires to be a Poor Clare, a Cistercian, a Benedictine, a Sister of the Renewal, etc etc! Does anyone else get this??

[MarisStella]

YES. It confuses me so much. There are so many beautiful communities!

[Lisa]

Sometimes, I love every community I see. I also love weddings, families with young children, and adorable old couples. But, I think God's calling me to one community in particular, but I'm going to visit another to see if He will hit me with a sense of clarity!

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1307667475' post='2251844']
Sometimes, I love every community I see. [i] I also love weddings, families with young children, and adorable old couples[/i]. But, I think God's calling me to one community in particular, but [b]I'm going to visit another to see if He will hit me with a sense of clarity[/b]!
[/quote]


I think this is the key actually, I think its love that is attractive, and the good, loving communities draw that love out of those of us who live by faith and seek God in our everyday lives.

On the 2nd point, I think this is a really good idea. I have twice visited Poor Clares, first time round I couldn't put my finger on it but it just wasn't quite right, this time it just made me realise with renewed certainty that I am called to Carmel. On both occasions the Poor Clare communities were beautiful, attractive communities that I liked very much and had very happy visits to. Gut feeling can be very valuable.

[MarisStella]

Yes, I agree with you all! Although I love a lot of communities, there is just one whose charism is perfect and really just pulls at my heart. I'm not ruling all the rest out, but right now this one is where my heart is.

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1307664261' post='2251832']
Am I the only one who looks at various communities that are mentioned on here, read their websites, and then find themselves wanting to be in most of them?? I am sure I am a Carmelite, I have been sure of that for a long time now and its the reason I have been willing and able to bide my time waiting to return, but in the past few weeks I have had fellting desires to be a Poor Clare, a Cistercian, a Benedictine, a Sister of the Renewal, etc etc! Does anyone else get this??
[/quote]

St Therese had the same 'problem'. Her heart so burst with love for all vocations and the various ways of serving God and His Church, she wanted to be a missionary, she even wanted to be a priest (knowing she could not of course). She wanted to "I choose everything" (to use her words). This great desire of her heart led her (more or less) to the realization of her real call within her call - "I will be love" and love of course is the Heart of The Blessed Trinity and The Church. Her desire to be a missionary, of course, was fulfilled after her death when she was declared the patron saint of missionaries.
Though I am in the single celibate state, I get yearnings when I see the beautiful pictures on Phatmass and browse over the websites of the various religious orders - they can truly tug at my heartstrings. A happy couple in the park with their children can tug at my heart strings. Be these as they may, I know where my call is. I think it rightful that we should delight in, even yearn after, the various vocations. Perhaps like St. Therese, we too can "choose everything" and find a call within our call to go right to the Heart of God and His Church and "be love" and hence embrace all vocations - all of whom have at their heart agape or love. "Know you not that you are Temples of The Holy Spirit" (St. Paul)
Humans can have that almost universal 'problem' that the grass is always somewhat greener in that other paddock in some way or other, especially perhaps after the 'honeymoon phase' runs its allotted time and love becomes more duty and commitment. And after a while sometimes sooner, sometimes later, the love of duty and commitment. The love of serving where we are called because that is where we are called. The Love of God and His Will.

God bless - Barb

Edited June 10, 2011 by BarbaraTherese

[Nunsense]

[quote name='BarbaraTherese' timestamp='1307707135' post='2251962']
St Therese had the same 'problem'. Her heart so burst with love for all vocations and the various ways of serving God and His Church, she wanted to be a missionary, she even wanted to be a priest (knowing she could not of course). She wanted to "I choose everything" (to use her words). This great desire of her heart led her (more or less) to the realization of her real call within her call - "I will be love" and love of course is the Heart of The Blessed Trinity and The Church. Her desire to be a missionary, of course, was fulfilled after her death when she was declared the patron saint of missionaries.
Though I am in the single celibate state, I get yearnings when I see the beautiful pictures on Phatmass and browse over the websites of the various religious orders - they can truly tug at my heartstrings. A happy couple in the park with their children can tug at my heart strings. Be these as they may, I know where my call is. I think it rightful that we should delight in, even yearn after, the various vocations. Perhaps like St. Therese, we too can "choose everything" and find a call within our call to go right to the Heart of God and His Church and "be love" and hence embrace all vocations - all of whom have at their heart agape or love. "Know you not that you are Temples of The Holy Spirit" (St. Paul)
Humans can have that almost universal 'problem' that the grass is always somewhat greener in that other paddock in some way or other, especially perhaps after the 'honeymoon phase' runs its allotted time and love becomes more duty and commitment. And after a while sometimes sooner, sometimes later, the love of duty and commitment. The love of serving where we are called because that is where we are called. The Love of God and His Will.

God bless - Barb
[/quote]

Barb - that was a truly beautiful and heartfelt post. I, too, feel a strong call in my heart that doesn't seem to be God's will, so I still search and discern where I belong. In my heart I am a Carmelite. The fact is that this is probably not going to be my future. I am discerning Benedictine and there is much in their charism and lifestyle that I do love (especially chanting the Office) - things I didn't know about them when I first started discerning as a Carmelite. Perhaps, as I learn more about the Benedictine way of life (after some live in visits especially), I will know for sure if this is where God is calling me. Or, perhaps, in the end, God will let me know that religious life is not where he wants me after all, despite all the longing and this feeling in my heart that I am already a nun.

I think that it is incredibly hard for women of a mature age right now, especially ones who have been married, because they have so few options available to them if they want consecration through the Church, and only those who are in this situation can know how much it hurts, I think... kind of like an infertile woman who longs for a child. The funny thing is that men of mature age, with children even, can still become priests, but women are denied even a simple consecrated state.... perhaps one day the Church will recognize that many women who have had marriages annuled want not only to live the life of a single celibate, but also the recognition of the Church through consecration - that which is offered to hermits and virgins. But this is what God allows (just as He allows infertility), and so we must use the suffering to grow in trust and love for Him.

Your posts lately have been very inspiring - thank you.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

I don't think looking into different orders is bad at all!

By looking at the orders mentioned here, we can grow to appreciate the work each order does for God, the Church, and the world. We learn about their histories, charisms and apostolates, which most times leaves me in awe!

Sure, I know I'm definitely a Dominican (DOMINICANATION! forgive the outburst folks.), but I've learned about many other wonderful orders who do great work for the Lord! I didn't know until recently that there were active Carmelites. I also didn't know about the Sisters of St. John. I discovered the SSEWs and the SMMC, both wonderful, faithful orders. I learned about the ermetic life, which I didn't really understand before. I rediscovered the beauty of contemplative orders--even though they're not my vocation!

Through looking at other orders, I discovered more about my calling!

[FutureSister2009]

I do too! I thought for sure I wanted to enter with my first love, but now I want to visit the Children of Mary and the SSVMs. I'm so scared I'm going to fall in love with all three of them and then I know I'll end up applying to all three of them and if I get accepted to all of them, then what will I do?

[InPersonaChriste]

I find that I just have to be very set in what God wants more than what I want. Obviously I desire to be his bride, but I also want to make sure that it is the order that would fit my personality best. But this phorum does give a wide range of beautiful orders, I guess I just know what I want exactly in a community and what my personal criteria is.

Though it is hard to just shut up my brain and stop eagerly looking at these websites!

[HopefulBride]

Faith,

I have the same issue. I find them all beautiful and attractive but in my heart I know where God wants me (at least for now - I try to live out my vocation and my faith day by day) I am finding that the more I learn about these other communities the more I come to appreciate mine and the more clarity I have on where I am to be.

I think the fact that we find these all attractive is another confirmation that the Lord really is calling us to that life. I mean 10 years ago I would have thought "oh How cool" when looking at religious communities. Instead, I now think "oh I want that" although not necessarily in the particular community I happen to be looking at.

Prayers for all those discerning (religious life or marriage)
HB

***ducks out to finish stalking the cistercians**

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1307719206' post='2252011']
Faith,

I have the same issue. I find them all beautiful and attractive but in my heart I know where God wants me (at least for now - I try to live out my vocation and my faith day by day) I am finding that the more I learn about these other communities the more I come to appreciate mine and the more clarity I have on where I am to be.

I think the fact that we find these all attractive is another confirmation that the Lord really is calling us to that life. I mean 10 years ago I would have thought "oh How cool" when looking at religious communities. Instead, I now think "oh I want that" although not necessarily in the particular community I happen to be looking at.

Prayers for all those discerning (religious life or marriage)
HB

***ducks out to finish stalking the cistercians**
[/quote]

Well said!

[Sarah147]

[quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1307717831' post='2252006']
I find that I just have to be very set in what God wants more than what I want. Obviously I desire to be his bride, but I also want to make sure that it is the order that would fit my personality best. But this phorum does give a wide range of beautiful orders, I guess I just know what I want exactly in a community and what my personal criteria is.

Though it is hard to just shut up my brain and stop eagerly looking at these websites!
[/quote]


I totally agree!

I see such beauty in many Orders (looking at their websites). But at the end of the day, I currently can only really see myself living with the SsEW's. But should they decline my interest, I will have to open my heart up to where God is calling me, and whatever vocation that may be...

I think that in general, we are attracted to what Religious Life is all about, and these many Orders reflect that. I don't necessarily think it means we want every Order, but what they are all about.

[vee]

I just want Him... and Mary And to not offend them constantly like I do. Im not worthy to be a religious when I constantly treat everyone around me like dirt.

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1307729475' post='2252075']
I just want Him... and Mary And to not offend them constantly like I do. Im not worthy to be a religious when I constantly treat everyone around me like dirt.
[/quote]


Oh bless you. I think its completely normal to feel inadequate - I certainly do - but I just trust that God has chosen to call me for a reason. I love the song 'Breath of Heaven' and I constantly find myself singing it when considering my vocation:

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am to the mercy of your plan
Help me be strong.

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1307710579' post='2251970']
Barb - that was a truly beautiful and heartfelt post. I, too, feel a strong call in my heart that doesn't seem to be God's will, so I still search and discern where I belong. In my heart I am a Carmelite. The fact is that this is probably not going to be my future. I am discerning Benedictine and there is much in their charism and lifestyle that I do love (especially chanting the Office) - things I didn't know about them when I first started discerning as a Carmelite. Perhaps, as I learn more about the Benedictine way of life (after some live in visits especially), I will know for sure if this is where God is calling me. Or, perhaps, in the end, God will let me know that religious life is not where he wants me after all, despite all the longing and this feeling in my heart that I am already a nun.

I think that it is incredibly hard for women of a mature age right now, especially ones who have been married, because they have so few options available to them if they want consecration through the Church, and only those who are in this situation can know how much it hurts, I think... kind of like an infertile woman who longs for a child. The funny thing is that men of mature age, with children even, can still become priests, but women are denied even a simple consecrated state.... perhaps one day the Church will recognize that many women who have had marriages annuled want not only to live the life of a single celibate, but also the recognition of the Church through consecration - that which is offered to hermits and virgins. But this is what God allows (just as He allows infertility), and so we must use the suffering to grow in trust and love for Him.

Your posts lately have been very inspiring - thank you.
[/quote]


Hi Nunsense - You contribute some very inspirational and heartfelt posts, yourself! The above is one of them. In the time I have been reading your posts, I can almost see how you have grown spiritually.

Some months back both my director and I had a dramatic change of residence around the same time. This meant we had to take a break from appointments for a while, a couple months it was. We did stay in touch via email, but both of us were busy with the demands that a shift of residence is and then settling into our new residences. When we eventually did get back together, Sister commented "You have grown spiritually". Well she may have been able to see it - I still seemed to me "same old, same old!"
Of great interest and God is Good, we are now closer together than before.

As long as we seek God's Will, it will be revealed to us - perhaps not in our timeframe or quite the way we thought it would be. One thing I have found in my life now as a single celibate and after two 'tours of duty' in religious life both monastic, one in my teens, the other in my forties - and between those, 15 years of marriage, two children (one is my foster son, but now at 48yrs of age, still calls me Mum), then divorce and annulment - is that God does indeed sometimes writes very straight in quite crooked lines. Each of those 'calls' has spoken to my life now as a single celibate. All my life experiences have found their place and spoken to my call as a single celibate (including a journey of 30 years with Bipolar Disorder). But as I reflect back, it was a journey of "not knowing" and continues in a similar vein. While my primary call and vocation is clear to me, the actual details simply unfold in my days and psychological conditioning and God's Grace has meant that I am content with that journey of the 'not knowing'.
I can recall quite clearly many years ago saying "I can't even find the ends, let alone try to make them meet!" Years later the threads of my life started to wind of themselves, as it were, into the one thread - but where that thread is going, is still mystery. And that is ok with me, I have learnt to live with not knowing.

I have picked up in your posts over some considerable time now of your ardent desire to serve God in the religious life. It may unfold that you will, or it could unfold that you will still ardently serve God but not in religious life. It is still an unfolding journey for you. For me, it was very much a matter of detaching from what I wanted and while this can be intitially painful, disappointment and a few other negatives, it is at once an attaching and attaching to God's Will. As God and His Grace detaches from what is not necessary, He at once attaches to Himself and His Will. Very often God's Will is not so much revealed through personal desires as through personal circumstances. God speaks loudly and firmly in the circumstances of our lives. Hence, personally, I would be entirely and absolutely encouraging to you as long as your personal circumstances do present the possibility of entering religious life, to continue to pursue your that course. And since you do so ardently desire it, I hope and pray that your desires will be fulfilled and in the way you hope.

In another thread, and I will try to return and link to that thread, Orans contributed a beautiful thread about those of us who do have ardent desires for consecration but at this point that desire is frustrated.
http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=113255 (Scroll down to Orans Post #6)

The Cross is central to our lives and it is redemptive. No matter what vocation and call one finds oneself following, there will the The Cross central and sometimes a most distasteful and other negatives, cross and burden to bear. It is entirely possible Grace prevailing to arrive at a point where suffering and The Cross is preferable to a way of Peace and Fulfillment, in fact The Cross per se can bring great Peace and Fulfillment "I have longed to eat this Passover with you". What God 'takes' He more than returns and in "one hundredfold" (Matthew) of measure. But there is something greater and that is to rest in the Divine Providence of God and to be detached from one's own desires re content. And no matter where a person actually may be in their life journey, Divine Providence is there and Providing all that is necessary for holiness and sanctity - even in the midst of suffering and disappointments, let downs. Even indeed in the midst of our failures and offences. God is The Unfailing Ever-Faithful One leading every single person to Himself and Unity with Himself, if we will but co-operate with Him and His Grace. This is very much what spiritual direction is about. It identifies that direction in which God is leading and encourages and affirms one along that path. God's Providence and Will is always present to us - ALWAYS - and no matter our cirumstances or disposition. His Will does not castigate, nor be angry or rejecting, His Will is always with Love and Longing to Fully Embrace leading us with His Grace to Unity with Himself - to holiness and sanctity. Our God so longs to be loved and embraced in return He has gifted us with a totally free will. Complete and absolute freedom of choice and decision, even the freedom to reject Him and His Love. But God never rejects us nor anyone, nor does his Love, Care and Mercy ever mitigate, lessen - they are absolute Absolute and Perfect, Ever Faithful in all circumstances and at all times, seasons.

Be the above as it may, yes it is a suffering that the single celibate person has no official place in the life of The Church as a consecated person. But then Canon Law follows life for the Holy Spirit is active in life, not in Canon Law while He is the inspiration of Canon Law as Orans so beautifully points out in his post (link above). So for those of us who are single and celibate for example, it is a matter of continuing to live as we do knowing that we are embraced in every way by God. Every way possible! For God does not say and I am laughing as I write this: "You are not consecated and so 'smell' a little!" LOL

Ok, shall dismount my pulpit and will go off and return with a link to the beautiful post I mentioned - in fact the whole thread was a productive one.


God bless and keep you and ever hold you as close as He does....great to 'talk' you again, Nunsense!.....Barb

Edited June 11, 2011 by BarbaraTherese

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1307729475' post='2252075']
I just want Him... and Mary And to not offend them constantly like I do. Im not worthy to be a religious when I constantly treat everyone around me like dirt.
[/quote]


Wow! If you were knocking on my noviciate door, after a statement like the above, you would be inside and clothed before you knew what was going on. What a beautiful statement!

[Nunsense]

[font="Calibri"][size="3"][/size][/font]

[font="Calibri"][size="3"]Barb, Once again, a lovely post, and I suppose in a way our posts are not completely relevant to this thread, except in that we are discussing desires of the heart and God's will vs our will etc.[/size][/font]

[font="Calibri"][size="3"]Orans post was lovely, yes, I had read that thread. But (and I don't mean to discount what she has said here), she is speaking from a position of actually being consecrated within the Church. Not that this makes her post irrelevant, it doesn't, but perhaps I am more interested in posts by you (sorry Orans, no offence intended – I love your posts) or others in our situation on this particular topic because we share an experience of NOT being consecrated. [/size][/font]

[font="Calibri"][size="3"]The discussion of Canon Law reminds a little of a 'joke' made by Bobby's Kennedy's widow, Ethel, who was dating Andy Williams. She wasn't allowed to marry him because he was a divorced man and she is reported to have said, 'Well, one day the Church will make it perfectly okay to marry a divorced person. And then they will say that it was okay all along!' Perhaps a little pain speaking there, but she did as the Church said and didn't try to marry him, but one can see that she wondered, like we all do, about the rules and laws that hardly seem consistent sometimes and wondered if they would change in her lifetime. Perhaps that is even why some women want to be priests – they are hoping that someday the rules will change (I have even heard priests say this). Please don't jump down my throat anyone – I am not advocating female priests, I am simply discussing Canon law in a very philosophical way. When the laws work for one, then they seem eminently fair, but when they are contrary to one's heart, then they do seem harsh sometimes. But that is what surrender to God's will is all about, isn't it? After all, Abraham must have gone through hell at first when God asked him to sacrifice Isaac, but he obeyed anyway. So there are no consecrated single celibate women right now – and probably won't be in my lifetime. And if consecration wasn't important, then people wouldn't seek it out. It doesn't discount the holy and unconsecrated lay state, but there is a difference in law and in the heart for those who feel called to consecration.[/size][/font]

[font="Calibri"][size="3"]To answer Orans question – how would my life look if I were proceeding towards consecration? It would look just as it does now. That isn't the point. I could live with someone forever but that wouldn't make us married. Please don't think I am discounting the unconsecrated lay state – I am not, but for those called to consecration, it isn't enough, no matter how many times one is told it is so. To those whom it is enough, then nothing need be said but to those whom it isn't, that nothing that is said will help. I do like her statement that...

[/size][/font][quote] Canon Law, as necessary and important as it is, is not going to open the channel for these vocations unless people who have the call start living it out and becoming significant to the Christian community through their charismatic gift of consecrated celibacy.[/quote]

[font="Calibri"][size="3"]...and I hope that through people like you, Canon law does one day approve these vocations.

I am particularly averse to the 'Quietist" heresy philosophy however, of doing nothing at all with the idea that this is how we follow God's will. I have had people tell me that since I haven't been successful (yet) at religious life, that obviously it is not God's will for me, and I should accept that. I say 'rubbish' – no one knows God's will except God (unless one has a relationship with Him like Abraham or Moses – and I certainly don't) and even those who speak to Him like that don't always get it right either, as we have seen! There has to be a balance of taking steps to respond to what seems a call from the Holy Spirit while not pushing one's own agenda. But no one said it would be easy![/size][/font]

[font="Calibri"][size="3"]I have been particularly inspired lately by a woman who is not pursuing religious life (in fact, is probably not even a Catholic) but who has followed her dreams despite overwhelming obstacles, and has managed to achieve so much. Here is a link for those who wish to read an article about her.[/size][/font]

[url="http://www.usafe.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123091118"][font="Calibri"][size="3"][color="#800080"]http://www.usafe.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123091118[/color][/size][/font][/url]

[font="Calibri"][size="3"]Her name is Maj Shawna Kimbrell and she was the Air Force's first female African-American combat fighter pilot. I heard her being interviewed on the radio and she was so amazing. She talked about how she came fourth in her class of jet fighter pilots and there were only two positions open, so she failed to get a place. Instead of giving up, she went on to train for helicopter combat fighter pilot, and this time she knew she had to come first in her class or she might not make that position either – so she did. She has had to deal with a lot of different prejudices being female and being black even from the beginning when she was a motorcycle cop. And now she has become a mother as well.

I am not saying I could handle her lifestyle (but fortunately God isn't asking that of me) but it made me think that okay, so I didn't make it as a Carmelite, but that doesn't mean I can't make it as a Benedictine if I try again. None of this, 'oh it must be God's will that you aren't meant to be a religious' – if I thought like that then, well, yes, I never would be a religious. But I see myself more as Jeremiah, trying to ignore the call, but also knowing that I have to respond. If His will was that I NOT become a religious, He never had to put this burning desire in my heart in the first place. If it were only my own desire, then I could drop it, but it isn't – it is a call from Him, and I have to answer it. But perhaps I also need to have more patience and trust – like Abraham, and not keep trying to push things through. Abraham did have to wait a long time before God gave him Isaac! Who knows, I may end up one of those women who finally become a nun in their nineties! And the journey along the way is what God wants me to experience![/size][/font]

[font="Calibri"][size="3"]Can I relate this back to this thread? Well, yes, in that I would like to be a Carmelite (there's where my preference has been given up to His will), but I accept that this calling may be answered through a Benedictine vocation or in a way that I don't see right now, and perhaps instead of becoming a jet fighter pilot, I will become a helicopter fighter pilot (figuratively speaking of course) in the spiritual war??[/size][/font]

[font="Calibri"][size="3"]Barb – I do agree with Orans in that you should never give up hoping that the Church will allow for consecrated celibate singles (or whatever they decide to call the state) because that seems to be what your calling is. Mine is to religious life, but I just don't know yet how that will manifest itself! Courage sister![/size][/font]

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[FutureSister2009]

Why must there be so many communities when they all generally follow the same Charism and take mostly the same vows of Poverty, Chastity and Obedience? Why can't there just be one?

[BarbTherese]

[quote][u]Quoting Nunsense[/u]: When the laws work for one, then they seem eminently fair, but when they are contrary to one's heart, then they do seem harsh sometimes. But that is what surrender to God's will is all about, isn't it?[/quote]

I think you are probably right on both scores, Nunsense. And I also agree with what you say further on in your post and surrender to God's Will is not quietism. Although what quietism is and is not can be confusing: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/12608c.htm I know that de Caussade was suspected of quietism in his work "Abandonment to Divine Providence" but quietist it is not.

This is what those 'who belong' in some way in the structure of The Church can fail to empathize with and that is the pain and hurt that can come to those somehow on the outside looking in not by personal design - but through circumstances uninvited often. To be honest, every so often I reach a point where I really do not want to belong 'on the inside' for one reason or another. I am then more than happy with my lot. At other times, I am just the opposite and find myself wishing and longing that I did belong somewhere or other. Sometimes in The Church it can seem almost that baptism and being a child of God is not where it is at and one really has to be something more somewhere or other to belong.

[quote] [u]This was posted in another thread by Chamomile[/u]:
http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=113255
"Always look to Heaven, and measure every step of your life so that it is a step towards it. It seems to me that it is so simple and at the same time comprehensive.

You ask, 'Shouldn't i be doing something?' Of course that is necessary. Do whatever falls to your hands, in your circle and in you situation–and believe that this is and will be your TRUE work; nothing more from you is required. IT IS A GREAT ERROR TO THINK THAT YOU MUST UNDERTAKE IMPORTANT AND GREAT LABORS, whether for heaven, or, as the "progressives" think, in order to make one's contribution to humanity. That is not necessary at all. It is necessary only to do everything in accordance with the Lord's commandments. Just exactly what is to be done? Nothing in particular, just that which presents itself to each one according to the circumstances of his or her life, and which is demanded by the individual events with which each of us meets. THAT IS ALL! God arranges the lot of each person, and the entire course of life of each one is all His all-good industry, as is each moment and each meeting. In all instances, and during each meeting, it is necessary to do what God wants us to do. As to what He wants, we certainly know that from the commandments He has given us. Is someone seeking help? Help him. Has someone offended you? Forgive and make peace. Did somebody praise you? Don't be proud. Did somebody scold you? Do not be angry. Is it time to pray? Pray. Is it time to work? Work. Etc., etc., etc.

If, after all of this has been explained, you set about to act in this way in every instance, so that your works will be pleasing to God, having carried them out according to the commandments without any deviation, then all the problems of your life will be solved completely and satisfactorily.'

~ St. Theophan The Recluse"[/quote]

[quote]Barb – I do agree with Orans in that you should never give up hoping that the Church will allow for consecrated celibate singles (or whatever they decide to call the state) because that seems to be what your calling is. Mine is to religious life, but I just don't know yet how that will manifest itself! Courage sister![/quote]

Thank you very much for the encouragement, Nunsense - rest assured I never give up hope while I dont invest myself nor my life in any as yet unrealized hope. It may eventuate, and then it may not.

When my brother was alive, he asked me one night when I felt down and miserable "What would you be, Sis, if you could be anything in the world you wanted to be"

"I would be a nun"
"Then, Sis, be a nun"
"Bob, you dont understand, there is my illness, I need an annulment and ..."
"Sis, cut out all that nonesense, and just be a nun"

I had no idea what he meant and was convinced he did not understand at all. After his death, the penny dropped with me. And then once Father began to speak to me about private vows, another penny dropped in this penny dropping life!!!! Smiling. In this penny dropping life, I no longer want to be a nun per se and know I am not called to the 'per se' - but that penny was to drop much later.
For me personally, it has been a question of the penny dropping that what I wanted and what God may want are not necessarily the same. When God calls, He provides. His providing may not be in a nice neat and tidy parcel as some seem to demand, but provide He will.

God bless - Barb