Have You Ever Felt Confused?

[vee]

My reply would be when have I NOT felt confused!

[krissylou]

I have never been confused about anything.

[Feankie]

Sometimes you don't feel as if you're confused, but others can spot it right away. It's almost as if "I'm confused!" is lit up on your forehead in neon lights. Perhaps my training in psychology and spiritual direction is rearing it's head up here, but I'm convinced one has a tendency to attribute (or deny the reality of) confusion to other things.....I'm confused because I haven't had my coffee this morning; because I need to eat and haven't had a bite since last night; because I'm too busy to be confused; because I'm just a bit worried, certainly not confused, etc. I'm not confused because I'm too busy keeping all the balls in the air; because if I was confused, I'd surely realize it and do something about it;, etc. Confusion is often just like dysfunctional families, it takes others to gently (or somethings not so gently) related what appears to be the problem.

I've had my bouts of confusion in all areas of my life over the years. It's always made me step back and reexamine the situation and my reaction/s to it. Having a close personal friend and/or spiritual director is a great way to sort out whether its true confusion, a denial mechanism, or something else.

[size=2][i]O Sacrament Most Holy, O Sacrament Divine, All Praise and all Thanksgiving, Be Every Moment Thine.[/i][/size]

[InPersonaChriste]

Not sure... Im confused about this topic

[vee]

where am I?

[krissylou]

Apparently Francis Clare doubts me.

[Sarah147]

It says online that "confused" can mean "lacking logical order or sense." I'd say I'm very much in my head and I'm a planner, so confusion doesn't happen so much as uncertainty, worries, doubts, dry times, up times, etc.

It puts me in a very uncomfortable place in having to wait and see if an Order is open to my health issues, and in having to consider this in discerning Orders. But, it also helps me because as someone said it's like a "tool" in finding what Order you may be called to.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1314906013' post='2298759']
It says online that "confused" can mean "lacking logical order or sense." I'd say I'm very much in my head and I'm a planner, so confusion doesn't happen so much as uncertainty, worries, doubts, dry times, up times, etc.

It puts me in a very uncomfortable place in having to wait and see if an Order is open to my health issues, and in having to consider this in discerning Orders. But, it also helps me because as someone said it's like a "tool" in finding what Order you may be called to.
[/quote]

Yeah, I probably didn't word the title properly. I probably should have said, "Have you ever felt doubtful?" not confused. I think it makes me feel better knowing there are other women on medication who are trying to discern. I don't feel as alone as I used to now that I know this.

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1314912277' post='2298814']

Yeah, I probably didn't word the title properly. I probably should have said, "Have you ever felt doubtful?" not confused. I think it makes me feel better knowing there are other women on medication who are trying to discern. I don't feel as alone as I used to now that I know this.
[/quote]

But doubts and confusion are very different. Before entering Q I was confused [i]and[/i] I had some doubts. Since I was sent away I have had absolutely no doubts whatsoever, but I've been very, very confused!

[Feankie]

Apparently Francis Clare doubts me.

Ouch! I don't doubt you I'd really have to know you personally (and know you quite well) to doubt you.!

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1314917313' post='2298843']

But doubts and confusion are very different. Before entering Q I was confused [i]and[/i] I had some doubts. Since I was sent away I have had absolutely no doubts whatsoever, but I've been very, very confused!
[/quote]

Maybe I got it right then.

I really think I was experiencing confusion about my vocation. While there have been some doubts in my mind as to whether or not I could do it, the thought of being a religious has stayed in my head even when I didn't want it. There have been a several times where I tried to forget but, for whatever reason, it somehow was brought up and usually happened at Church. I really think the Holy Spirit keeps trying to tell me something. It makes me wonder if I should at least try to live the life of a religious just to see if that truly is my vocation. The problem is finding an order that will accept me AND that I'm attracted to.

[bmb144]

Personally I feel that confusion is a good thing in discernment. Ok, I know that sounds strange but I think confusion is a thing that makes us ask questions to seek an understanding as to why the person is confused. For me, confusion closed the door to what I called order no.3 and it looks like order no. 4 is also closed to me as well. So it leave me with 2 orders and I will simply continue deepening my journey with them.

[i<3franciscans]

Being confused has helped me grow in patience and placing all my trust in God. And I like being confused, it reminds me of how small we are!!! and MM you got the title right. : )

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='i<3franciscans' timestamp='1315436107' post='2301811']
Being confused has helped me grow in patience and placing all my trust in God. And I like being confused, it reminds me of how small we are!!! and MM you got the title right. : )
[/quote]

Thanks!

I think confusion probably happens to everyone in their discernment. There are so many beautiful orders out there, it is difficult to decide where to visit and which ones you think God is calling you to. In a way, I am really thankful that the amount of religious orders that will accept me is narrowed down so I don't have to worry about sifting through website after website, going crazy with all the information.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

I think I live in a perpetual state of confusion. As one of my absolute favorite mystery books says, "Didn't you know confusion is the state of every true scholar?"

Not really, but in the beginning I was so lost. I knew I am called to teach. I knew I was called to a traditional order. And so as a sophomore in high school I somehow found the NDs. Only through God's grace did I find my way, although I'm still confused and lost sometimes.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1315439230' post='2301833']
I think I live in a perpetual state of confusion. As one of my absolute favorite mystery books says, "Didn't you know confusion is the state of every true scholar?"

Not really, but in the beginning I was so lost. I knew I am called to teach. I knew I was called to a traditional order. And so as a sophomore in high school I somehow found the NDs. Only through God's grace did I find my way, although I'm still confused and lost sometimes.
[/quote]

I think one of the worst things is trying to say that you know things (not talking about you, but me ). I was so "sure" where I was called that I was putting God in a box and not allowing His will to direct me. I kept putting limitations on Him and saying "Yes, I will enter religious life, but there must be..."

I must have said a dozen times that I was called to Carmel, that I was called to be cloistered, that I was called to this particular order or monastery, etc. The only thing was that these were not things that I heard from God. They were all what I wanted! Not one single thing that I listed was a revelation from God during prayer or interior sign. I changed the way I discern. I do not say I am called to an order unless they accept me. There has to be a confirmation from the order before I can say that. Even then, how can anyone be completely sure of their lifelong calling until they are making final vows?

God is so much bigger than the little box I was trying to cram Him in. I let Him out and put Him in the pilot seat. If this is to be an adventure of a lifetime, we must write it together!

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1315441243' post='2301852']

I think one of the worst things is trying to say that you know things (not talking about you, but me ). I was so "sure" where I was called that I was putting God in a box and not allowing His will to direct me. I kept putting limitations on Him and saying "Yes, I will enter religious life, but there must be..."

I must have said a dozen times that I was called to Carmel, that I was called to be cloistered, that I was called to this particular order or monastery, etc. The only thing was that these were not things that I heard from God. They were all what I wanted! Not one single thing that I listed was a revelation from God during prayer or interior sign. I changed the way I discern. I do not say I am called to an order unless they accept me. There has to be a confirmation from the order before I can say that. Even then, how can anyone be completely sure of their lifelong calling until they are making final vows?

God is so much bigger than the little box I was trying to cram Him in. I let Him out and put Him in the pilot seat. If this is to be an adventure of a lifetime, we must write it together!
[/quote]


I never seem to have any props to give, but this deserves one!

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1315478137' post='2302074'] I never seem to have any props to give, but this deserves one![/quote]

Consider it done! Fait accompli! Excellent post by MM with great recommendation from FC!

My greatest confusion in my teens was trying to understand how to know what on earth God's Will was since we were told that God's Will and His Providence (I couldn't grasp either!) was continually with us in every moment. I dont recall when I actually grasped how to discern God's Will, but when I did I couldn't understand why something so simple and lacking in complexity had been such an endlessly confusing matter to me. Then came the icing on the cake years and years later "[i]Abandonment to Divine Providence[/i]" by Jean Pierre de Caussade.

I used to be so envious of religious since their Rule of LIfe spelt out God's Will for them at every moment and I thought the only way I would ever know what God's Will was for me in every moment was to enter religious life and come under a Rule. Our God of Surprises!

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1314912277' post='2298814'] Yeah, I probably didn't word the title properly. I probably should have said, "Have you ever felt doubtful?" not confused. I think it makes me feel better knowing there are other women on medication who are trying to discern. I don't feel as alone as I used to now that I know this. [/quote]

Once I started to work out a theology of spirituality for myself, rather than look at my Bipolar Illness as a limitation, I looked on it in a positive light as God indicating very positively for me where [u]He did not want me[/u] and that was a great help indeed in discerning where [u]He might want me[/u] - it cut down on my options - like being in an icecream parlour, but chocolate and strawberry are not available! And after all, vocation is an invitation and sometimes there can be a number of options available all of which are pleasing to God and in accord with His Will, while some general options are not available. This is a Mystery of The Will of God. And unlike an icecream parlour where it would be decidedly annoying that chocolate and strawberry and my favourties are not available, higher than any options at all and the most favoured of all is The Will of God.

If that makes sense .... I seem to be rather regularly referring to the bag-on-the-head emoticons in my posts

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1315478137' post='2302074'] I never seem to have any props to give, but this deserves one![/quote]

You're sweet! Thanks!