University Or Religious Life?

[FutureSister2009]

[quote name='ameliabedelia' timestamp='1315166274' post='2300135']

join the club..
[/quote]

Oooh there's a club? Well that cheers me up a bit

[jennyanne]

Hmmm...I do think that moving out would be an important step, however, it might be wise to take sister's advice and discern thoroughly if you have a calling to religious life before taking out student loans. So...I vote for 1. get a job and 2. discern religious life until you have a "yes" or a "no" and 3. go from there.

Actually, though, have you asked the Lord what He wants you to do in this concrete circumstance?

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='jennyanne' timestamp='1315173331' post='2300219']
Hmmm...I do think that moving out would be an important step, however, it might be wise to take sister's advice and discern thoroughly if you have a calling to religious life before taking out student loans. So...I vote for 1. get a job and 2. discern religious life until you have a "yes" or a "no" and 3. go from there.

Actually, though, have you asked the Lord what He wants you to do in this concrete circumstance?
[/quote]

Yes, I have. Everytime I go to Adoration, I get the sense like He doesn't want me to wait. No matter how many times I try to put it out of my head, it ALWAYS comes back. It can be rather annoying, but it's definitely there.

As far as the job goes, I'm scanning the job boards, especially indeed.com. I found one job for a grocery store to be a lead cashier which I am VERY experienced in since I was a cashier for over 6 years. I applied for it.

[Feankie]

I'm surprised there aren't any spiritual directors in your diocese. I live in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee and they have posted a listing of spiritual directors on their website. By no means is this a complete list of s.d.'s in the area, and there's more in other dioceses. IIs there a friary or monastery anywhere close? Oftentimes they provide spiritual direction on a sliding scale or at no cost at all. And, there are many resources on line to help you find a s.d. in your area. One site right off the top of my head is Spiritual Directors International, but there are other orgs. that deal speciically with Catholic spiritual direction.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Francis Clare' timestamp='1315173616' post='2300223']
I'm surprised there aren't any spiritual directors in your diocese. I live in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee and they have posted a listing of spiritual directors on their website. By no means is this a complete list of s.d.'s in the area, and there's more in other dioceses. IIs there a friary or monastery anywhere close? Oftentimes they provide spiritual direction on a sliding scale or at no cost at all. And, there are many resources on line to help you find a s.d. in your area. One site right off the top of my head is Spiritual Directors International, but there are other orgs. that deal speciically with Catholic spiritual direction.
[/quote]

Unfortunately, there are no monasteries or friaries in this area. I've checked. The closest one is in the central part of the state while I'm in the northern part so it's quite a long drive. I think I checked SDI awhile back. I wonder if they've added anybody? I'll have to look.

Edited September 4, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1315173919' post='2300226']

Unfortunately, there are no monasteries or friaries in this area. I've checked. The closest one is in the central part of the state while I'm in the northern part so it's quite a long drive. I think I checked SDI awhile back. I wonder if they've added anybody? I'll have to look.
[/quote]

Oh, I take that back. There is a convent of nuns in this area that I tried to contact last year, but when I told my pastor about them, he told me to stay away since they had a scandal not too long ago. He wouldn't say this if there wasn't some great concern because his brother is the Vocation Director for our diocese.

[das8949]

All of thie talk of discernment and Chairsm is new to me. When I entered, that is just what we did enter on a certain day as a group called Brothers, There were eleven of us. We attended university and had classes with the postulant or novice mistress. We learned how to meditate - our first object was a paperclip, our 2nd second a rock which I summarily dropped during Vespers in the Chapel and the whole Novitiate was in fits of giggles. It was very simple no talks of debt. We brought nothing with us but basics. They encouraged entering after highschool so that everyone was trained similarly. Mother Long of DSMME has expressed that wish as well - come when you fresh and alive in your vocation.

I personally think that for someone who is 28 you have nothing to lose by entering and everything to gain. For some in teens and 20ish gather somelife experience. Listen to the others who have had experience and learn from their challenges.

We only live onceand remember there is no dress rehearsal! I say jump off the pot or stay at home!

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='DarleneSteinemann' timestamp='1315175698' post='2300236']
All of thie talk of discernment and Chairsm is new to me. When I entered, that is just what we did enter on a certain day as a group called Brothers, There were eleven of us. We attended university and had classes with the postulant or novice mistress. We learned how to meditate - our first object was a paperclip, our 2nd second a rock which I summarily dropped during Vespers in the Chapel and the whole Novitiate was in fits of giggles. It was very simple no talks of debt. We brought nothing with us but basics. They encouraged entering after highschool so that everyone was trained similarly. Mother Long of DSMME has expressed that wish as well - come when you fresh and alive in your vocation.

I personally think that for someone who is 28 you have nothing to lose by entering and everything to gain. For some in teens and 20ish gather somelife experience. Listen to the others who have had experience and learn from their challenges.

We only live onceand remember there is no dress rehearsal! I say jump off the pot or stay at home!
[/quote]

Thank you for your advice. I have much to pray about and I still must get in touch with the Sister who is vocation director for the RSMs. I have already contacted her, but I'm waiting for her reply. I realize it may be a while because their postulancy officially begins this Thursday (9/8). Since I still need to visit them in person, I am saving up money in order to get a plane ticket and finishing my 2-year degree since I am only one class away from graduation in December this year. I am no longer nervous about the idea of becoming a religious. If God wills it, I will enter when He calls. Please pray for me! God bless.

[linnie]

I may be wrong, but don't many orders educate their sisters? I know that many Benedictines are sent to college to complete their studies. I believe the Dominicans also do this. Especially if someone has an associates' degree, that person may be sent back to school to complete their bachelor's degree.



edited because it posted very strangely

blessings, linnie

Edited September 5, 2011 by linnie

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='linnie' timestamp='1315180908' post='2300258']
I may be wrong, but don't many orders educate their sisters? I know that many Benedictines are sent to college to complete their studies. I believe the Dominicans also do this. Especially if someone has an associates' degree, that person may be sent back to school to complete their bachelor's degree.



edited because it posted very strangely

blessings, linnie
[/quote]

Yes, the Religious Sisters of Mercy have it written in their constitutions to send their Sisters to school. Education is very important to them because of their apostolate in medical and healthcare support fields. Some of the Sisters are teachers and it is necessary to train the Sister in Catholic education.

As for the DSMME and Nashville Dominicans, both educate their Sisters before sending them to Catholic schools to teach. Some of the DSMME attend University of Michigan. The Nashville Dominicans attend AND run the Aquinas College in Nashville.

Edited September 5, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae

[cmaD2006]

MM:

If a) you have no debt right now, and b) there is no other commitment that you have (I have no idea what that could be), then my one suggestion is to focus on the discernment. Try to get some sort of job. Apply to the SSEWs (if that is the community that most attracts you). Enter.

Having started over twice, I can honestly say that if you do take the risk to enter, and things don't work out God will not defraud you. He will respond.

So what would happen if you enter and you leave? Well, you may have to move back in with family. And then try to figure out what to do next -- which could very well mean going back to school and finishing the last two years, maybe more if too much time has elapse. But -- does that really matter? The growth that would happen by taking the risk to enter and living in community for a time is worth it.

I agree with what someone said ... make a decision. Go find a spiritual director ... or, maybe go talk with your usual confessor (if you have one priest you normally go to).

I do however strongly suggest that if you do feel a strong pull towards religious life, and you are accepted for entrance, then why not? Why not try it. It may just work out to be the place for you, and if not you will grow there too.

Finally I don't know if I agree with the idea of "go out and establish yourself." One simple reason -- right now you are dependent. That's a good trait for religious life. Going off on your own may just serve to grow you in independence, which in religious life you don't necessarily want.

In any case ... make a decision (in peace). Once you decide, just follow through with it. And trust that the Lord will not abandon you nor defraud you nor forsake you.

[ameliabedelia]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1315166694' post='2300140']

Are you discerning with a specific order right now? Do they require you to have a degree? If you aren't sure, it might be a wise idea to get in touch with the vocation director of whatever religious order you are most interested in and see what they say. Different orders have different requirements. I think all of the ones I have been interested in do not require a degree before you join because they send you to school. One good example is the order I mentioned -- the Religious Sisters of Mercy. Part of their charism chosen by Mother Catherine McAuley was to put great emphasis on professional training of her Sisters. Though the RSMs were not "technically" formed by Mother Catherine, they still keep her charism. I thought this was very interesting.
[/quote]

It just isn't my time to enter yet. Thank you for the concern though.

Edited September 5, 2011 by ameliabedelia

[MithLuin]

I agree with the general consensus: now doesn't seem the best time for you to continue your studies.

If you enter an order, they will deal with getting you the education you need to continue with them. If you discern and choose not to enter (or enter and leave), you can always go back to school at that time.

Debt is nasty, and taking on two years of college debt while unemployed can be quite daunting. You'll be in school for two years, and then paying off the debt for another few years after that...and then it may be too late for the whole discernment thing.

I'd say to focus on discernment and finding a job at the moment. You've completed an AA. Congrats! Now go do something

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1315183456' post='2300274']
MM:

If a) you have no debt right now, and b) there is no other commitment that you have (I have no idea what that could be), then my one suggestion is to focus on the discernment. Try to get some sort of job. Apply to the SSEWs (if that is the community that most attracts you). Enter.

Having started over twice, I can honestly say that if you do take the risk to enter, and things don't work out God will not defraud you. He will respond.

So what would happen if you enter and you leave? Well, you may have to move back in with family. And then try to figure out what to do next -- which could very well mean going back to school and finishing the last two years, maybe more if too much time has elapse. But -- does that really matter? The growth that would happen by taking the risk to enter and living in community for a time is worth it.

I agree with what someone said ... make a decision. Go find a spiritual director ... or, maybe go talk with your usual confessor (if you have one priest you normally go to).

I do however strongly suggest that if you do feel a strong pull towards religious life, and you are accepted for entrance, then why not? Why not try it. It may just work out to be the place for you, and if not you will grow there too.

Finally I don't know if I agree with the idea of "go out and establish yourself." One simple reason -- right now you are dependent. That's a good trait for religious life. Going off on your own may just serve to grow you in independence, which in religious life you don't necessarily want.

In any case ... make a decision (in peace). Once you decide, just follow through with it. And trust that the Lord will not abandon you nor defraud you nor forsake you.
[/quote]

This is the thought that I had. I really don't want to create a huge problem by acquiring student loan debt and not being able to answer the call because of it. I've heard of so many young women being forced to wait to answer because they took on too much debt in college. You expressed the same concerns I have.

I am really not opposed to entering without having lived on my own. I never thought of it the way you did, but I have heard of people entering without moving out of their parents and they stayed their whole lives. Being in the convent forces you to mature, which I am totally ready for.

Thank you, cmariadiaz. You validated what I've been thinking all along.

P.S. -- Not that it matters, but I am going to visit the Religious Sisters of Mercy before visiting the SsEW when I get the money saved up. After reading their charism several times and then hearing the news that JoyfulLife wasn't approved to enter because of her medical needs (which are very similar to mine), I realized that I need to go where there is support. The SsEW are beautiful, no doubt about it, but I'm starting to realize that maybe God isn't calling me there after all. The RSMs allow Sisters to work with them on choosing an apostolate and, God-willing, I would love to be a Social Worker in the order. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, though.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1315185303' post='2300283']
I agree with the general consensus: now doesn't seem the best time for you to continue your studies.

If you enter an order, they will deal with getting you the education you need to continue with them. If you discern and choose not to enter (or enter and leave), you can always go back to school at that time.

Debt is nasty, and taking on two years of college debt while unemployed can be quite daunting. You'll be in school for two years, and then paying off the debt for another few years after that...and then it may be too late for the whole discernment thing.

I'd say to focus on discernment and finding a job at the moment. You've completed an AA. Congrats! Now go do something
[/quote]

Thank you. See my response to cmariadiaz.

[Feankie]

I can see you are in a real conundrum with this. I tend to agree that 1. You're worried about getting into debt, 2.You're concerned about upper age limits in orders, 3. Job opportunities are few and far between these days, and most importantly 4. When you sit before our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament you've already got your answer! I'm speaking here as a 63 year old who works in professional and volunteer Church ministry (and have done so most of my adult life), I felt the call to religious life a L O N G time ago. As it says in Star Wars, in a galaxy far, far, away! Actually, it was in a time long, long past ) But my parents and other pushed me to attend University. And I did. And then they convinced me I should do something useful with my degree before making any decisions. And I did. And then, oops, Father Time caught up with me. I'm happily married for 38 years with 3 children and 4 grandchildren, but there's always that "what if" rumbling around in the back of my head. I'm rambling here I know (went to 6am Mass and have yet to have an coffee!) From your post it seems you live not to far from Rockford. I'm about 30 minutes away from Rockford on the Wisconsin side. PM me and perhaps we can get you to Rockford after all!
I pray daily for each and every one of you ---those who are discerning, those who have entered, and those are stuck in the middle of what to do. That's the least I can do!

[size=2]O Sacrament Most Holy, O Sacrament Divine, All Praise and All Thanksgiving, Be Every Moment Thine[/size]

[Feankie]

OOPS! There are SOO many of you out there discerning. I'm sorry, Mater. I thought you were discerning the PCC's in Rockford. Sorry for my error. Still, PM me and we'll still see if we can't get you up to Michigan. Did I get it right this time???

[carmenchristi]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1315183456' post='2300274']


Finally I don't know if I agree with the idea of "go out and establish yourself." One simple reason -- right now you are dependent. That's a good trait for religious life. Going off on your own may just serve to grow you in independence, which in religious life you don't necessarily want.

[/quote]

I would tend to disagree. I believe that a religious should have a good sense of independence, and learn to submit that independence. Otherwise, what's the point?

I entered right after highschool. I don't regret jumping in right away. I could see the difficulty adapting that some girls who were just a few years older than I had. I am still convinced though that if I had a bit more "life experience" when I entered I would have saved myself some very painful lessons.

Of course, it's also a bit different when you are older. You've been to college and had a certain about of independence anyway, so I don't really see it as crucial to get "life experience" in this situation.

My opinion would be to take the time to discern concretely, whether by entering or staying in close contact with the sisters or whatever. I personally would be careful and try to avoid taking out loans, because it could make things more difficult for you.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Francis Clare' timestamp='1315233284' post='2300482']
OOPS! There are SOO many of you out there discerning. I'm sorry, Mater. I thought you were discerning the PCC's in Rockford. Sorry for my error. Still, PM me and we'll still see if we can't get you up to Michigan. Did I get it right this time???
[/quote]

That's OK, F.C. LOL! I get people confused all the time, so don't feel bad. I read your PM and I'll get back to you very soon. Thanks a million.

[JulianofLdn]

I'm going to agree with those who suggest you take the time now to sincerely and seriously discern, especially since you have concerns regarding which orders may be open to you and your particular circumstance. It's time to whittle down the choices. Since you have the religious life itch, it's reasonable to want to see whether it's truly a call to vocation, or merely something that is attractive to you.

However - forgive me - it's also true that not long ago you weren't sure whether you even wanted to discern or not; I suspect you simply want to be doing something, anything, rather than equivocating. I know that feeling, very well! I also suspect you've been through this over and over again in your mind; you need a fresh perspective, somebody to break you out of your thinking. Serious discernment will at least allow you to do that.

As for a spiritual director... contact the Jesuits. I know in the UK, the Jesuits will help you locate a spiritual director of some kind. You *must* have some kind of guidance in all of this. It's easy to talk oneself into anything - I know! - and a critical friend is essential if you're not going to simply talk yourself into circles, as I said.

Either way, it is time to commit to a course of action, to follow it through and see where it leads you.