University Or Religious Life?

[TheresaThoma]

MM At this point I would just say trust God. Give Him room to work in your life, if you feel school would tie you down then I would suggest waiting and really focusing on discerning.
It can be hard to take that step. Because of my discernment I left a very good (but expensive) 4 year University. I realized graduating with $40,000 some dollars in debt was not going to help. I had no idea what I was going to do but now the Lord has poured out graces upon me and truely taken care of me. It hasn't been easy but I know that I am much freer to respond to His call.

[Sarah147]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1315159523' post='2300070']
This topic has been weighing on my mind lately. I am currently finishing up my Associates in Arts at the state college and am still figuring out where to go for University studies. However, I'm also trying to discern a calling to religious life. The vocation director for the SsEWs suggested that instead of entering the university, that I seriously discern my vocation. She has a point, too. If I go to university, I will most likely have to take out a student loan to pay for my education. I am planning to major in Social Work if I go. The problem is, what if I discern that I am indeed called to religious life while in university and can't enter because of student loan debt? I already had a problem with debt once before related to credit cards and it was while I was trying to enter the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus. They were trying to work with me to pay off the debt, but I didn't enter there and ended up using my unemployment compensation to pay everything off.

I don't know what to do. I don't have a spiritual director because there are none available in our diocese (I've looked EVERYWHERE). Has anyone been in this same predicament? What did you end up doing?
[/quote]

Mater, I think it depends on what Order you are called to. If it is the SsEW or another Order where you won't use your college education, then I think it wise to work on discerning Religious Life, and put college on hold (after you finish this last course).

However, if you are called to the RSM or another Order where your college education is used, you could get that education on the outside and then enter or get it when you enter. It might be wiser to get the education when you enter so you don't risk losing your vocation, or getting swept up by some guy, or getting stuck in debt. I believe they wait until you've been an entrant with them for a few years before they send you to college, so you will have solid time to focus and discern the Order.

Prayers for you.

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='carmenchristi' timestamp='1315238593' post='2300503']

I would tend to disagree. I believe that a religious should have a good sense of independence, and learn to submit that independence. Otherwise, what's the point?

I entered right after highschool. I don't regret jumping in right away. I could see the difficulty adapting that some girls who were just a few years older than I had. I am still convinced though that if I had a bit more "life experience" when I entered I would have saved myself some very painful lessons.

Of course, it's also a bit different when you are older. You've been to college and had a certain about of independence anyway, so I don't really see it as crucial to get "life experience" in this situation.

My opinion would be to take the time to discern concretely, whether by entering or staying in close contact with the sisters or whatever. I personally would be careful and try to avoid taking out loans, because it could make things more difficult for you.
[/quote]

I agree to some degree ... but I disagree in that she's 29. (which I think in essence we do agree). I entered religious life twice, once at 32, the second time at 37. I think I would have had an easier time (with respect to the independence) if I hadn't been out living on my own since 23, and in fact due to my personal circumstance I was dependent on myself since about 17. That makes a difference when all of a sudden you are asked to submit your independence to someone else .

So in a way its good that MM has been living at home. She has some independence but not the same as if she lived on her own .

[LaPetiteSoeur]

My parents told me I had to go and finish university before I entered any convent.

So here I am. And I know God wants me here, at least for now. I love my classes. I love the Catholic center--and I'm going to be either a catechist or a sponsor for RCIA!! I know that what I'm learning here will help me in religious life.

Thankfully, I have a 2/3 scholarship and my grandmother is paying for the rest. I'm at a public state school, so tuition is lower, much, much lower than Catholic university.

I'd ask a priest in confession. Maybe you could ask a priest you know to be your SD.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1315266717' post='2300700']

I agree to some degree ... but I disagree in that she's 29. (which I think in essence we do agree). I entered religious life twice, once at 32, the second time at 37. I think I would have had an easier time (with respect to the independence) if I hadn't been out living on my own since 23, and in fact due to my personal circumstance I was dependent on myself since about 17. That makes a difference when all of a sudden you are asked to submit your independence to someone else .

So in a way its good that MM has been living at home. She has some independence but not the same as if she lived on her own .
[/quote]

It's nice to know that I'm not going crazy and that others are thinking the same thing. If age or debt wasn't a factor, I'd continue my education and then enter later, but that's not what I feel called to at this stage. I think that is why I've had such a tough time trying to decide which college to go to next semester. I think what I'm going to do is finish up this class, graduate with my AA, and then take the two foreign language courses which are required by most upper level state universities. But I'm going to take them at the junior college. Hopefully, I can get enough financial aid in order to pay for them.

If it does happen where I enter soon, it won't be for another year since the postulants have a set entrance date of September 8th (unless it has changed recently). The candidates enter in August and then are initiated to the postulancy. So it wouldn't hurt to take some classes and boost my GPA in preparation for higher education.

Edited September 6, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae

[OnlySunshine]

I just found another listing for the same grocery store I applied to yesterday as a guest service team lead. This one is for the self-checkout cashier attendant. I used the same information as yesterday and filled out. So I now have two applications at the same grocery store chain but in two locations. The one I applied to tonight is actually closer to me.

[Lizzy]

Just a job application tip: For the minimum wage jobs, apply in person. Always. It's a stressful process, but just literally walk down the main drag of your town (or drive from plaza to plaza), walk in to every place, and ask if they have any openings. Most managers of small businesses or franchises are too busy to post online and/or rarely read their email. This is how I've gotten every food service/retail job I've need to make ends meet in the summers.

Places like Target tell you to fill out applications in store, and I've known them to hire on the spot. Also, if you drive, consider doing delivery for somewhere like Domino's. Waiting tables is the best money in entry level food service usually, but hard to break into if you have no experience. Being a delivery driver though, is a close second, and doesn't typically take experience.

[Nunsense]

If we're talking jobs that are usually easier to get, try getting work as a caregiver for an elderly person or at a nursing home. They often accept unqualified staff and will train on the job. It is hard, physical work, but also very satisfying because it is a helping and service job. I worked at several different Alzheimer's facilities in California, also as a private caregiver for different elderly people, and now I am back at a hostel for the elderly, which includes those on palliative care. Private work pays more, but facilities can be better in trying to fit around your schedule as they have shift work. Just an idea.

Since you say you can't enter until next year anyway, perhaps you don't need to focus too much on a decision right now, but take each day as God gives it to you? Finish off your current studies, look for work, and keep in contact with various convents, and then see what happens. Let's face it, there are no guarantees in life, and God writes straight with crooked lines. You could die tomorrow (and be with Our Lord) or you could live for many, many years, but the only moment that you really have to offer Him is the one that you are living right now. All the great plans in the world (either study or convent) could come to nothing, so really, live for now, and live for Him, and love Him through serving others the best you can with what you have. You are already very blessed in so many ways, and the greatest gift we can give back in return for all our blessings and to show our love, is our complete faith and trust in Him.

Remember that whatever you end up doing, He is there with you.

Edited September 6, 2011 by nunsense

[FutureSister2009]

my opinion is just go right into Religious Life while you have the chance. Don't be like me. you'll end up regretting it like I do

[carmenchristi]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1315271289' post='2300770']

It's nice to know that I'm not going crazy and that others are thinking the same thing. If age or debt wasn't a factor, I'd continue my education and then enter later, but that's not what I feel called to at this stage. I think that is why I've had such a tough time trying to decide which college to go to next semester. I think what I'm going to do is finish up this class, graduate with my AA, and then take the two foreign language courses which are required by most upper level state universities. But I'm going to take them at the junior college. Hopefully, I can get enough financial aid in order to pay for them.

If it does happen where I enter soon, it won't be for another year since the postulants have a set entrance date of September 8th (unless it has changed recently). The candidates enter in August and then are initiated to the postulancy. So it wouldn't hurt to take some classes and boost my GPA in preparation for higher education.
[/quote]

Sounds like you have a good game plan.... prayers for you!

[quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1315321369' post='2301088']
my opinion is just go right into Religious Life while you have the chance. Don't be like me. you'll end up regretting it like I do
[/quote]

Don't worry.... I'm convinced you won't regret having to wait. It will be worth the sacrifice, you'll see.