Humph........

[Lisa]

[quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1315580511' post='2302541']
Did you ever think that maybe we KNOW it's not all it seems to be and we don't care because we still long for it anyway? Did you ever think that we love it more because it's NOT the perfect life? Did you ever think that we're willing to accept all that?
[/quote]

Peace. Darlene and the others were just bringing up some practicalities that they have experienced, so there is no need to be upset. In fact, I found it a humbling time to look at my own desires- these are the things I need to practice outside the convent before I enter! But Praise the Lord, how God will use your passion to bring others to the faith! We are thrilled that you and Little Flower (and all the other young ones) have such a desire to do His Will! If you try to follow that obediently and cheerfully, He will bring you safely home into your vocation.

[FutureSister2009]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1315539589' post='2302403']

I've heard from a few vocation directors that there is harm in waiting too long, though. If the person discerning has nothing holding them back like debt, dependents, or other obligations, why should that person wait longer than necessary? The longer you wait, the less likely you are to answer the call as time goes by.

Most religious orders want the aspirant to have a few years of life experience such as work or college, and I have these. For those that don't, it would be a great idea to have that experience, but I am 28 years old. I am reaching the age limit of several orders. If I believe God is calling now, I want to go now. I don't want to wait. It's all about His will not mine. If I believed that He was calling me to finish upper-level college studies before entering, I would, but that's not what I feel called to do right now.

In my situation, it's not running away from
[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1315539589' post='2302403']

I've heard from a few vocation directors that there is harm in waiting too long, though. If the person discerning has nothing holding them back like debt, dependents, or other obligations, why should that person wait longer than necessary? The longer you wait, the less likely you are to answer the call as time goes by.

Most religious orders want the aspirant to have a few years of life experience such as work or college, and I have these. For those that don't, it would be a great idea to have that experience, but I am 28 years old. I am reaching the age limit of several orders. If I believe God is calling now, I want to go now. I don't want to wait. It's all about His will not mine. If I believed that He was calling me to finish upper-level college studies before entering, I would, but that's not what I feel called to do right now.

In my situation, it's not running away from something -- it's running towards God and His will.
[/quote]

Now this I CAN agree with
[/quote]

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1315580511' post='2302541']
Did you ever think that maybe we KNOW it's not all it seems to be and we don't care because we still long for it anyway? Did you ever think that we love it more because it's NOT the perfect life? Did you ever think that we're willing to accept all that?
[/quote]

Hun, you seem to be missing my point. I honestly did not say such things to upset you or anyone else here. I know what it is like to want to give God everything and you don't care about the cost, but I, personally, learned a lot from spending more time on the outside. I was all set to enter a religious order in 2009 because I thought I had all the signs showing me that I was called there, but because of my great desire to be in a convent right then, I was blinded to the fact that I was not emotionally ready to take on such a task. I had a reality check when the Provincial Superior and the Novice Mistress both asked me if I would be willing to work in the girl's home (one of their apostolates) so that I could experience the apostolate and also earn money to pay off my existing debt. At the time, I wasn't on my medication, so I don't know if I would have lasted longer, but I only lasted less than 3 days. I arrived on a Saturday (May 16th) and went home on the following Tuesday (19th) when I was scheduled to stay until the end of June (6 weeks). It was a very difficult decision to decide to leave, but I know now that it was the only decision for me at the time. I was completely unprepared for the apostolate since it was much different than I imagined it would be. I had only been with the Sisters [u][b]one[/b][/u] weekend before I embarked into the apostolate. I was asked to do a live-in of sorts and ate breakfast with the Sisters and prayed the LOTH with them at certain times of the day (when I wasn't working). The decision to come home, at the time, made me feel like I was a failure because I had to call my parents and my grandmother and I asked my grandmother for the money so I could change my ticket and leave that day. Both of them told me that they were very disappointed in me. I could have probably saved myself the heartache if I had waited to apply to the order after visiting a few more times.

I don't want to upset you. I see how much you are struggling right now and trying to come to grips with what God wants of you. My intention is to, perhaps, prevent my experience from happening to others so no one else goes through the pain I had to go through in order to mature. Now that I have spent more time in the world, I have relaxed a bit and I am ready, spiritually and emotionally, to undertake the difficult life of a religious. I pray everyone else is also ready when their time comes. You are in my prayers, FutureSister2009.

[Pax_et bonum]

"Albus Dumbledore's words of caution to Harry when discussing the Mirror of Erised express my own views. The advice to 'hold on to your dreams' is all well and good, but there comes a point when holding on to your dreams becomes unhelpful and even unhealthy. Dumbledore knows that life can pass you by while you are clinging on to a wish that can never be - or ought never to be - fulfilled. Harry's deepest yearning is for something impossible: the return of his parents. Desperately sad though it is that he has been deprived of his family, Dumbledore knows that to sit gazing on a vision of what he can never have, will only damage Harry. The mirror is bewitching and tantalising, but it does not necessarily bring happiness." JK Rowling on the Mirror of Erised from Pottermore.com

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that" Albus Dumbledore

HP applied to discernment, YES!!!

[TeresaBenedicta]

"You should resign yourself entirely into the hands of the good God, who, when you have done your little duty about this inspiration and design that you have, will be pleased with whatever you do, even if it be much less. In a word, you must have courage to do everything to become a religious, since God gives you such a desire. But if after all your efforts you cannot succeed you could not please our Lord more than by [b]sacrificing to Him your will, and remaining in tranquility, humility, and devotion, entirely conformed and submissive to His divine will and good pleasure.[/b] You will recognize this clearly enough when, having done your best, you cannot fulfill your desires.

For our good God sometimes tries our courage and our love, depriving us of the things that seem to us, and which really are, very good for the soul. And if He sees us ardent in their pursuit, and yet humble, tranquil, and resigned to doing without and to the privation of the thing sought, He gives us blessings greater in the privation than in the possession of the thing desired. For in all things and everywhere, God loves those who with good heart and simplicity, on all occasions and in all events, can say to Him, 'Thy will be done.'"

^an excerpt from a letter by St. Frances de Sales to a young woman desiring to enter religious life

The goal of a religious is to love God above all things, to subsist only on His holy will as daily bread. If we cannot accept with courage and generosity God's will for us [i]right here and right now[/i], then we are already missing that point and we ought to re-evaluate our desires for religious life. It's not easy! God gives us these burning desires! They are very real! And they wound the heart with deepest cuts... but God gives desires as way of purifying us. We can rest assured that God makes us desire so because He wishes to give Himself... but He cannot fill what is not empty. And so the desires, although painful, become our purification. By sacrificing to God our own wills, by seeking to always be "entirely conformed and submissive to His divine will and pleasure", we die to self and make room for that gift God so wishes to give to us.

God only knows. Each person is unique and our purification is always tailored to our own souls. For some, it is to the advantage of their sanctification that they enter immediately- whether that be at 17 or 21 or 36... whenever they hear the call. For others, it pleases God (and is good for their sanctification!) that they are made to wait. God knows.

See your sufferings now as the cross that is to be embraced. It's not the cross of your choosing, but fitted to you by God Himself. Embrace it, sacrifice your will... Know that "God works together all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

If you feel called... strive to enter. Make every effort you can. But if circumstances outside of your control make you to wait... accept it as the will of God and allow it to become a grace that transforms you in love.

[FutureSister2009]

You know what's strange? Just a few years ago, I would've NEVER imagined myself being THIS jealous of people leaving to enter the Convent. That just shows that you don't know for sure what God has in mind for you

[Pax_et bonum]

It can be so easy to look at religious life through rose-colored glasses, but the reality is that it's a challenging life. We've met people on here that have been hurt by their communities, and we follow along and are inspired by their amazing path of trying again because that's what God is asking of them.
Leaving everything and everyone behind to enter a community will not be easy. Even those of us who have parental problems about our vocations, we will still miss them and get homesick. You may not see some of your good friends ever again. Being corrected in religious life will be hard; we'll feel like infants who don't know how to do anything right. I've never been in religious life, I'm sure others could tell better than I how difficult it is. RL, like marriage, brings with it both joys and pains. Don't focus so much on the joys that the pains come as a shock.

This time of preparation before entrance is a blessing! I hope to enter a cloistered order, so I'm getting into as many shenanigans as I can with my best friends this year (preparation for shenanigans in the convent? I think yes! ). We have so much fun, it's ridiculous. I don't want to just wish that away. Besides just having fun as my last year of childhood ends, I'm really using this time to pray and grow in faith and virtue. Frequent the sacraments! Pray the LotH! Prepare for RL while still living the life you have now.

[size=2]Edited cause I can't type [/size]

Edited September 13, 2011 by Pax_et bonum

[IamMyBeloveds]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1315873144' post='2303990']
It can be so easy to look at religious life through rose-colored glasses, but the reality is that it's a challenging life. We've met people on here that have been hurt by their communities, and we follow along and are inspired by their amazing path of trying again because that's what God is asking of them.
Leaving everything and everyone behind to enter a community will not be easy.
[/quote]

You have so much wisdom, Pax_et bonum. Wise beyond your "years of religious life". It is beautiful to see that surrender that you have. Thank you for understanding the trials of those of us who have left and are planning to go back. You have brought me much consolation, and a few tears (good ones...the healing kind)! Even I, a second-timer going in, need to look at the joys as well as the pains and remember them both. They are both what helped me grow. Praise Be Jesus Christ for His goodness in the waiting!

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1315873144' post='2303990']
It can be so easy to look at religious life through rose-colored glasses, but the reality is that it's a challenging life. We've met people on here that have been hurt by their communities, and we follow along and are inspired by their amazing path of trying again because that's what God is asking of them.
Leaving everything and everyone behind to enter a community will not be easy. Even those of us who have parental problems about our vocations, we will still miss them and get homesick. You may not see some of your good friends ever again. Being corrected in religious life will be hard; we'll feel like infants who don't know how to do anything right. I've never been in religious life, I'm sure others could tell better than I how difficult it is. RL, like marriage, brings with it both joys and pains. Don't focus so much on the joys that the pains come as a shock.

This time of preparation before entrance is a blessing! I hope to enter a cloistered order, so I'm getting into as many shenanigans as I can with my best friends this year (preparation for shenanigans in the convent? I think yes! ). We have so much fun, it's ridiculous. I don't want to just wish that away. Besides just having fun as my last year of childhood ends, I'm really using this time to pray and grow in faith and virtue. Frequent the sacraments! Pray the LotH! Prepare for RL while still living the life you have now.

[size=2]Edited cause I can't type [/size]
[/quote]

What beautiful insight you have. Though I have never entered and left, it took me a long time to understand the risks I would be taking when I finally take that step. You cannot do it without a firm knowledge of Jesus and a strong prayer life. You don't have to be the most perfect person before you enter, but you must be striving to be a saint.

I will be praying for your discernment, little one.

[Lil'Monster]

im gonna get hitched and have loads of kids

[carmenchristi]

Darlene, great post. I think it's good that you let some of the young girls know about the reality that sets in only when you are living religious life. I experienced many of the things you speak about, and I was a postulant only 8 years ago! And I am a member of an ACTIVE, Franciscan Institute. It is also true that the church (and communities with her!) is advancing in her conception of obedience and authority, and is slowly surpassing the "shut-up-and-do-as-you-are-told" attitude. This is a great [url="http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/ccscrlife/documents/rc_con_ccscrlife_doc_20080511_autorita-obbedienza_en.html"]document [/url]that helps put it in perspective. Even so, I do agree with te points you are making! And it's also true that many communities (especially the very traditional ones that many PMers are interested in) are not necessarily making changes in a well-established way of doing things.

Edited September 13, 2011 by carmenchristi