Preparing To Enter? What Do You Do (Or Not)?

[Aya Sophia]

For those in VS who are preparing to enter RL (have community, timeframe for entering, perhaps entrance date) and those with previous experience of entering: [b]What are you doing/did you do or what did you not do/are you not doing (i.e. avoiding!) in preparation for entering? [/b]Note: whether these preparations are/were, ultimately, of any use whatsoever is not relevant here!


Aya Sophia:

PREVIOUSLY
#1 Benedictine mon life (constitutional enclosure allowing live-ins) - was told by NM "nothing special" to do to prepare. Just carried on as I was, reading monastic lit voraciously. Being still on my spiritual honeymoon (won't say just how many years I spent on that) entered the mon on a flying carpet which nothing could take down

#2 Carmel (strict encl not allowing live-ins) - A few lines in the film on St. Teresa of the Andes (whether her words or scripted, don't know) caused me to face my fear and ask to set an entrance date. Then came the closing up of my life in the world - two households and an estate of which I was executrix. Took 3.5 months, 8-10hrs @day and was so consuming that I concerned myself with little else. So, materially (and miraculously, it seemed to me) I had absolutely everything in order but interiorly I was unprepared. There was no bridge from my life in the world to the drastically different life of Carmel. In hindsight, I would have arranged to go on a substantial retreat as a segue into the monastery.

NOW
#3 (3rd time a charm?) Carmel (same Carmel) - with my material life still "closed up" I was able to spend many weeks in two monasteries during the summer. This was the setting for much inner work and grace, preparing me to return and giving me hope of being able to persevere. Most important seems to be learning discernment of spirits. I had not understood how dangerously deficient I was in this. Now it's a major weapon to take to the front lines.
On the practical side, only thing I'm doing to prepare is kneeling on the floor and using my prayer stool more (even using the stool as my seat at the computer). One thing I'm [u]not[/u] doing is indulging in "anticipatory discomfort," for ex., standing now in the glory of my gorgeous hot shower and comparing it to what's next![i] Rejoice in thy hot showers while ye may! Again, I say, rejoice![/i]

Edited October 7, 2011 by Aya Sophia

[juchu]

[quote name='Aya Sophia' timestamp='1318003930' post='2317459']
For those in VS who are preparing to enter RL (have community, timeframe for entering, perhaps entrance date) and those with previous experience of entering: [b]What are you doing/did you do or what did you not do/are you not doing (i.e. avoiding!) in preparation for entering? [/b]Note: whether these preparations are/were, ultimately, of any use whatsoever is not relevant here![/quote]

I am trying to meditate in the morning. First I tried to keep up the same time as at during my life-ins (6:00 am), but since I often study more late in the evening and also still have a social life (at least to some extent;) ) it was too early and I now pray whenever between 6.45 or 7.30 ...

What I am not doing? [b]Shopping[/b]! Which turns out to be really hard.... I love nice clothes, I sometimes like to dress up... yeah... Actually I did buy an amazing nice simple black dress this summer, but I have worn it extensivly as well
My other "weak" point concerning shopping are kitchen supplies... I cooking!!!


I think my main "preparation" is to focus on my studies in order to enter. I guess, I cannot really "prepare" for all that awaits me anyway. I just trust God that it will work out somehow... There are so many things I will have to learn once I enter: To sing "properly", to improve the knowledge of the language of the country I will live in...

Edited October 7, 2011 by juchu

[cmaD2006]

Ok. I'm being 100% serious. When I set an entrance date for the first time, what did I do?

I went to Walt Disney World. No joke. I'd never gone. Neither had my mom (67 at the time). So, I took my mom, my niece, my sister and I to Disney.

I had the time of my life. Also a sunburn (my 11 yr old niece had something to do with it. I put her sunblock on. She put, um attempted to put, mine on).

[marigold]

[quote name='Aya Sophia' timestamp='1318003930' post='2317459']
[i] Rejoice in thy hot showers while ye may! Again, I say, rejoice![/i]
[/quote]

Amen to that! For a while I tried doing things like that, 'as they will be in the monastery' but it did more harm than good, just ended up confusing me basically

For a few months I've been sending things to friends, sorting through books, taking bags of things to the charity shop. When I moved in here I thought I had almost no stuff, but comparing it to the one bag of clothes, icons and a few books I can take with me... suddenly it's a lot. Books normally aren't even allowed until you're into the novitiate but since I'm moving such a long way and won't have any storage, they're letting me bring the important ones.

I'm taking advantage of having free access to my favourite food and drink. This is a big one for me, it's not like I can't survive without certain things but I've been used to organising my own food for years. So, a lot of seafood and gin & tonics around here. And CHOCOLATE.

As to prayer, I try and do the standard daily prayers as usual (try). And recently I've tried to start just having a bit of stillness in the early morning, without 'doing' anything in particular. Quite nice.
LOL @ cmaria. I can't tell you how relieved I am to be entering *after* the last Harry Potter film has come out! A novice where I'm going had to go and visit her mother in July and asked if she could go to the movies and see it... I don't think the request was granted

[marigold]

Also Aya, thanks for giving little hints in #2 I know curiosity killed the cat - consider me butchered but I am trying to find out if there's an 'average reason' for folks leaving convents. (So far there doesn't seem to be one.) Subconscious fears much?

[faithcecelia]

First time I did all sorts of things - nothing overly special, except High Tea with pink champagne at Fortnum and Mason's in London with lots of friends (far nicer than the Ritz!!!). I also had a little party in my local the Saturday before I left and a reception at the parish after my last Sunday Mass. My mother ended up in an ambulance to casualty from the pub after tripping and dislocating her shoulder which added to the excitement a little - she and my dad are teetotal but still got jibbed over it! I also spent a few days with my grandparents, visited lots of friends etc in the weeks leading up to it. And howled through my last Mass with one of my best friends

This time I'm not planning anything, there is nothing I feel I need to do.

[juchu]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1318010283' post='2317496']
with lots of friends [...]. I also had a little party in my local the Saturday before I left and a reception at the parish
[/quote]

I am also "planning" these things + travelling for two months which involves another continent where I used to live and get the news to my people there and spend some time with them.

But actually those things... I was actually considering not doing them, all this travelling, because I feel that all this actually is not important. But after talking it through, I realized that maybe if I do not "need" this, there are other people that "need" this, that I just can't call saying "oh, by the way I am entering a convent, most likely we are not going to see each other again. Goodbye"

And in the end, what do two months that I "wait" more actually matter.

Another reason why I was first thinking of not doing all this travelling was because I actually do not want to make a "big deal" out of this - considering that postulancy and also all after that is a period of trying this life... But I can`t just disapear wait to tell everybody only at solemn vows either

[Aya Sophia]

I did a "farewell" tour last year before entering Carmel, as the community is across the Atlantic and strictly enclosed which means persevering there means no possibility of family/friends and I seeing one another (unobstructedly) face to face again. Glad I did the tour as it was meaningful for everyone. Won't do it again because...well, it's done already (as Faith noted, no need to). Also, the meaningful face-to-face "goodbyes" were rough on some, yours truly included - thought my heart would break open right there on the driveway, on the train platform, going with a backward glance through security, etc. - every time! Better now just to be having the normal chats on the phone until flying away - milder and easier on everyone (again, self incl!).

Re: hinting in #2 why I left Carmel, oh, dear . . . hints will have to suffice. All I can add here is that a lack of ability and experience in discernement of spirits on my part was greatly to blame.



.
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[cmaD2006]

[quote name='Aya Sophia' timestamp='1318013314' post='2317522']All I can add here is that a lack of ability and experience in discernement of spirits on my part was greatly to blame. . .[/quote]

Don't feel bad ... sometimes we're just not ready. Yet. Doesn't mean that the next Carmel won't be right.

Finding the right community sometimes reminds me of Goldilocks and the 3 bears ... its a question of finding "just right."'

Besides the discernment of spirits part is key ... the community as a whole may not have that experience (it is an Ignatian thing), and that makes it that much harder.

[brandelynmarie]

Love you guys! These sort of stories are all very helpful. I am not certain what approach I would take, but I guess I will find out when it comes to that time.





(I really must find that book by St. Ignatius!) Edited October 7, 2011 by brandelynmarie

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='brandelynmarie' timestamp='1318014479' post='2317532']
(I really must find that book by St. Ignatius!)
[/quote]

Heh. I'm going to sound like I'm a spokeperson for Fr. Tim Gallagher ... but get the discernment of spirits book by him. That will be oh-so-worth-it. You *could* read the actual text, but the explanation by Fr. Tim is excellent. St. Ignatius' exercises by itself is soooo meaty.

BTW -- Fr. Tim's book quote word-for-word St. Ignatius' rules for discernment and dissects it for us lay folks. He also has a book on the Examen prayer where he explains it pretty well.

[OnlySunshine]

While I'm not in a formal discernment process with a religious community yet, I was in 2009 and was very close to entering. I lived as an aspirant for a few days (supposed to be 6 weeks, but I couldn't stay that long). Going in, I knew that I needed to savor every moment with my family and just have a good time on holidays. It was difficult thinking about the separation from my family (which contributed to my homesickness and general anxiety).

I feel I'm a much wiser person since then and if, God-willing, I enter into a formal discernment process with the community I am currently discerning, I know not to worry so much about externals. If I start looking at everything as my "last" then I'm bound to make myself crazy. I just enjoy the ride and live each day as it comes to me.

[Little Flower]

ok - my apologies for a stupid question, but what is "discernment of spirits"?

and I wish i was getting ready to enter...

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1318040371' post='2317748']

Heh. I'm going to sound like I'm a spokeperson for Fr. Tim Gallagher ... but get the discernment of spirits book by him. That will be oh-so-worth-it. You *could* read the actual text, but the explanation by Fr. Tim is excellent. St. Ignatius' exercises by itself is soooo meaty.

BTW -- Fr. Tim's book quote word-for-word St. Ignatius' rules for discernment and dissects it for us lay folks. He also has a book on the Examen prayer where he explains it pretty well.
[/quote]


I second this - great book.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Little Flower' timestamp='1318043235' post='2317769']
ok - my apologies for a stupid question, but what is "discernment of spirits"?

and I wish i was getting ready to enter...
[/quote]

[url="http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/05028b.htm"]Discernment of Spirits (St. Ignatius of Loyola)[/url]

[quote]Discernment of spirits is the interpretation of what St. Ignatius Loyola called the “motions of the soul.” These interior movements consist of thoughts, imaginings, emotions, inclinations, desires, feelings, repulsions, and attractions. Spiritual discernment of spirits involves becoming sensitive to these movements, reflecting on them, and understanding where they come from and where they lead us.[/quote]

Edited October 8, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae