PhuturePriest Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 This basically for future Priests or possible future Priests that would like to share their personal testimony. This is mine, and hopefully it stays within the guidelines of the site: My story begins with my story of sin. I started masturbating when I was eleven and a half, and that was the beginning, the start of a very long cycle of sin that, when I look back at, seems like it lasted ten years, when in reality it only lasted a little over three years. It's so interesting, sin is, that once you start with one grave sin, it starts a chain reaction. Well, the chain reaction started with masturbation, and soon after, I got Rock Band. This was when my desire to be a Rock N' Roll guitarist began, and this is when my sin led to others: Pornography, laziness, and it went to where I even had sex a few times. My desire to be a Rock God led to abandoning my faith completely; not wanting to be held accountable for all of the wrong I knew I was doing, but did freely anyway. But it only got worse: I started going online and writing sexual stories, speaking with other people who were going down the same path, and completely making up a person and making horrible claims that I'd had sex with her and all of the sort to my online friends. And the fact that I started playing real guitar (And getting really good at it) didn't help. If someone mentioned the Priesthood or Religious Life as an option for me, I always had the same answer: "Are you kidding me? I want sex [i]way[/i] too much to be a Priest!" This was my mindset, and unfortunately I would have this mindset for a very long time. Eventually, I started to try and stop my lifestyle. I tried very hard, but every time, I had one failed attempt after another. The Devil had run deep within me, and I soon realized that it was impossible to do it on my own. It wasn't until after Easter that I'd realized the only way to truly stop my lifestyle, was to start praying and to start going to confession. But I was very resistant to this, as I realized the closer I got to Christ, the less I wanted to be a Rock God, and thus the easy way out of not having to do school wouldn't be possible. However, after a while, when I realized that this was the only way to truly stop, at once I gave in. I stopped telling lies to my friends. In fact, I lost almost all contact with them, as I realized their lifestyle and belief system was far different than mine and highly incompatible. As I got better and better, I soon realized that I wanted to be a Priest, and even possibly join a Religious Order. However, my addiction to masturbation was too hard to break. Even with my praying everyday to God and to Mary (As well as a handful of other Saints), it was just too hard to break, no matter what. I started praying Novenas for this, asking Mary help specifically for this (As well as all the other Angels and Saints), and it all ended one day, somehow. I had indulged myself in this sin that morning, and then I'd learned that we were going to confession that day, I immediately went online to find an examination of conscience and a list of sins, and I wrote down eighteen, and added one more later. I then went to confession, confessed my sins, listened to Father talk, and after ten or fifteen minutes I walked out of there and said my penance in front of the Blessed Sacrament during Eucharistic Adoration. I fervently and sincerely prayed and begged the Lord to save me from my sins, and help me to never do those sins again, and he answered. I never did any of these sins again, and I humbly realize that it was only by the grace of God, Mary, and all of the Angels and Saints that this happened. And as I look back to then and look at myself now, almost completely sure of the Priesthood, I realize that God has helped me to make a great testimony to help others to realize that it's never too late to repent, confess, and pray for God's help. I'm thankful to the Lord for my life, and I give my victory up to the glory's of Heaven. You don't have to be half as detailed as I was (Although in my opinion I didn't say enough) but I would be interested in hearing your personal testimony and how you came to the conclusion of the Priesthood/Religious Life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Just wanted to say welcome! I'm not sure how many future priests we have around here but maybe this will get them to post. Also thank you for sharing your journey I think we all need the reminders that you don't have to be super holy for your whole life to become a priest or religious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Wow! Welcome to Phatmass! I affirm you for your testimony and want to thank you for sharing. It is not easy sharing something so personal and embarrassing, but thanks be to God that you found faith in Christ and gave up sin to be His servant. I am dealing with something similar, and am thankful for the strong leadership of my pastor who, on more than one occasion, has told me the truth in a loving, Christ-like manner that made me cry at the end because I realized what I needed to do. I am not discerning the priesthood, but I am discerning religious life. It has been a long, painful journey and it's not over yet. I know that I am a weak human being with no hope except that which I have in Christ. I committed my life to Him through His Immaculate Virgin Mother, and pray everyday that she leads me to her Son. I hope you stick around! Phatmass can be kind of addicting, in a good way, because of the friendships we form here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Thanks all for your posts. I enjoy sharing my story very much, and I'm very excited to either join a Religious order or become a Priest. None of my past is holding me back, and hopefully I can get all of my school done so I can do one or the other (Or both). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Welcome, and I'm glad you experienced a conversion of life. Never say never though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i<3franciscans Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Your story made me tear up with tears of joy. I am so glad you have found us here!!!! As MM said PM is addicting... I really hope you stick around in the years to come. Welcome to the Phamily!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i<3franciscans Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 [url="http://campveritas.com/MP3_BrJoachim.mp3"]http://campveritas.com/MP3_BrJoachim.mp3[/url] BTW I think you will like this. He is hands down amazing and I never get tired of listening to his story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 (edited) [quote name='i<3franciscans' timestamp='1320442503' post='2331402'] Your story made me tear up with tears of joy. I am so glad you have found us here!!!! As MM said PM is addicting... I really hope you stick around in the years to come. Welcome to the Phamily!!! [/quote] [quote name='i<3franciscans' timestamp='1320442503' post='2331402'] Your story made me tear up with tears of joy. I am so glad you have found us here!!!! As MM said PM is addicting... I really hope you stick around in the years to come. Welcome to the Phamily!!! [/quote] It made you cry? Wow. Never did I think my conversion story was tear-worthy. As horrible as it may seem, your tears have made my day. I'm listening to the testimony of this Brother now. I bet it's really great. What Order is he from? Edited November 19, 2011 by FuturePriest387 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximilianus Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1321737866' post='2338320'] . What Order is he from? [/quote] I'm going to guess the C.F.R. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 That is a beautiful story, for real, extremely amazing. I am trying to get a friend of mine who has felt called to the priesthood since he was 4 (he's 16 now) on to Phatmass because there are not a ton of future priests on VS. Thank you for sharing, that was really a beautiful story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJon16 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 amesome! dude! Its good to see someone else on the Phorum that feels called to the priesthood. I feel that call as well. And that was a very amesome testimony, that has sort of inspired me further to get away from those sins. I have a blog, which started out as being about my vocation, but then kinda turned into my blog about anything and everything that I feel like ranting about. hahahaha. Check it out here: [url="http://iamcalledtopriesthood.blogspot.com/"]http://iamcalledtopr...d.blogspot.com/[/url] As far as my "conversion story", I dont think its anywhere as inspiring as yours is. As far as masturbation and porn go, they are my two biggest vices. Those two sins make up most of what my day-to-day struggles consist of. Right now, I feel as if I have finally conquered them, but I don't want to "speak too soon." I have learned, as you did, to completely devote myself to Mary and the Saints and the Angels. I have also learned as you have, that the sacrament of Confession is a mighty force against the Devil. Its a great way to gain strength in order to keep on "fighting the good fight." It came about time for my confirmation, and my mom had wanted me to take it, and I didn't. My ideology was that "I didn't need God". I soon realized how wrong I was in thinking that. I had always wanted to be a pilot, or become an engineer. The last thing I wanted was God. But I soon realized that He wanted me. My mom forced me to attend a Confirmation Youth retreat at my church. It was at this retreat that I first met Christ in the Blessed Sacrament, and it was an absolutely life changing experience. It was like I had gotten hit by a train; one moment I could care less about God, and then the next moment all that I desired was Him. About a half of a year had gone by, containing many more amesome experiences, when I had one of my most memorable. We were having a session of Adoration and worship, and during these sessions, all of our youth ministers would kneel before the altar, and if we felt that we needed it they would pray over us before the Blessed Sacrament. One of our ministers is a Deacon, and I had the extreme urge to go to him for these prayers. I went up, and he prayed, I prayed, and he prayed some more, and then at the end, he turned to me and said something I would never forget: "Jon, do you think that God is calling you to the priesthood?" And all that I could say, the only words that I could get myself to say was "Yes". And I affirmed myself, saying it over and over again, and ever since then, God has also re-affirmed this call with many more experiences, and "nudges". Now, that is all I can see myself being. It is my ultimate dream. It is a desire that is not of my own sake, but of God's. I continue to learn and grow more every day, and every day is both a trial and a triumph. I think that is the same for everyone who is discerning any call. Keep on keepin' on, man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 [quote name='BigJon16' timestamp='1322533909' post='2341967'] amesome! dude! Its good to see someone else on the Phorum that feels called to the priesthood. I feel that call as well. And that was a very amesome testimony, that has sort of inspired me further to get away from those sins. I have a blog, which started out as being about my vocation, but then kinda turned into my blog about anything and everything that I feel like ranting about. hahahaha. Check it out here: [url="http://iamcalledtopriesthood.blogspot.com/"]http://iamcalledtopr...d.blogspot.com/[/url] As far as my "conversion story", I dont think its anywhere as inspiring as yours is. As far as masturbation and porn go, they are my two biggest vices. Those two sins make up most of what my day-to-day struggles consist of. Right now, I feel as if I have finally conquered them, but I don't want to "speak too soon." I have learned, as you did, to completely devote myself to Mary and the Saints and the Angels. I have also learned as you have, that the sacrament of Confession is a mighty force against the Devil. Its a great way to gain strength in order to keep on "fighting the good fight." It came about time for my confirmation, and my mom had wanted me to take it, and I didn't. My ideology was that "I didn't need God". I soon realized how wrong I was in thinking that. I had always wanted to be a pilot, or become an engineer. The last thing I wanted was God. But I soon realized that He wanted me. My mom forced me to attend a Confirmation Youth retreat at my church. It was at this retreat that I first met Christ in the Blessed Sacrament, and it was an absolutely life changing experience. It was like I had gotten hit by a train; one moment I could care less about God, and then the next moment all that I desired was Him. About a half of a year had gone by, containing many more amesome experiences, when I had one of my most memorable. We were having a session of Adoration and worship, and during these sessions, all of our youth ministers would kneel before the altar, and if we felt that we needed it they would pray over us before the Blessed Sacrament. One of our ministers is a Deacon, and I had the extreme urge to go to him for these prayers. I went up, and he prayed, I prayed, and he prayed some more, and then at the end, he turned to me and said something I would never forget: "Jon, do you think that God is calling you to the priesthood?" And all that I could say, the only words that I could get myself to say was "Yes". And I affirmed myself, saying it over and over again, and ever since then, God has also re-affirmed this call with many more experiences, and "nudges". Now, that is all I can see myself being. It is my ultimate dream. It is a desire that is not of my own sake, but of God's. I continue to learn and grow more every day, and every day is both a trial and a triumph. I think that is the same for everyone who is discerning any call. Keep on keepin' on, man. [/quote] That's an amesome story. As I noticed how well-written it was, I have the need to tell you that the reason my first post was so grammatically horrible is because it was about three in the morning. But anyway, I really am excited for you, and I would definitely make sure that you don't rule your situation as over. I did that tons of times, and it was at those times when I was most tempted. The Devil enjoys ignorant statements, I suppose. I'll pray for you most definitely. I have had some similar experiences, where a few Priests asked me if I was discerning the Priesthood. Unfortunately, this was at the time when I was so sure about not being a Priest that I'm pretty sure I said no, but those Priests saw through me, I suppose. I've been asking Priests for advice recently. One said to do what the Bishop of Wichita recommended: Pray one Our Father, putting emphasis on the words "Thy Will be done", say one Hail Mary because she said the ultimate yes, even though she knew it would be difficult, and finally, one Glory Be, so as to say that it is not about you, but about God, and that you are discerning this and willing to do this for God. The one I just asked yesterday said to talk to a Priest about it. I have a great friend that is a Traditional Priest who I'm going to call tomorrow and ask. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to him soon, but it is the Holidays, so it might be a little too hectic at the moment. I hope everything works out for you. Maybe one day we can both be Priest-friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJon16 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1322547392' post='2342055'] That's an amesome story. As I noticed how well-written it was, I have the need to tell you that the reason my first post was so grammatically horrible is because it was about three in the morning. But anyway, I really am excited for you, and I would definitely make sure that you don't rule your situation as over. I did that tons of times, and it was at those times when I was most tempted. The Devil enjoys ignorant statements, I suppose. I'll pray for you most definitely. I have had some similar experiences, where a few Priests asked me if I was discerning the Priesthood. Unfortunately, this was at the time when I was so sure about not being a Priest that I'm pretty sure I said no, but those Priests saw through me, I suppose. I've been asking Priests for advice recently. One said to do what the Bishop of Wichita recommended: Pray one Our Father, putting emphasis on the words "Thy Will be done", say one Hail Mary because she said the ultimate yes, even though she knew it would be difficult, and finally, one Glory Be, so as to say that it is not about you, but about God, and that you are discerning this and willing to do this for God. The one I just asked yesterday said to talk to a Priest about it. I have a great friend that is a Traditional Priest who I'm going to call tomorrow and ask. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to him soon, but it is the Holidays, so it might be a little too hectic at the moment. I hope everything works out for you. Maybe one day we can both be Priest-friends. [/quote] Thanks! That's quite alright, I've also had many a' 3 am Phatmass posts. hahaha amesome! That's some great advice about the Our Father and the Hail Mary and the Glory be. I'll remember that! Its also a great thing to have a personal Spiritual Director whom you can confide in. Right now, mine is the deacon that I spoke of earlier, but I'm working on moving to a priest. Know of my prayers for you also, bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 [quote name='BigJon16' timestamp='1322567522' post='2342082'] Thanks! That's quite alright, I've also had many a' 3 am Phatmass posts. hahaha amesome! That's some great advice about the Our Father and the Hail Mary and the Glory be. I'll remember that! Its also a great thing to have a personal Spiritual Director whom you can confide in. Right now, mine is the deacon that I spoke of earlier, but I'm working on moving to a priest. Know of my prayers for you also, bro. [/quote] Yeah, Spiritual Directors are so important, even if you're not discerning anymore. It's a shame how people disregard how useful they are. On a different Catholic website, I said I had one and a woman told me that she was shocked since normally only Priests and Religious have those. I said they were Priests and Religious [i]because [/i]they had Spiritual Directors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i<3franciscans Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 (edited) This is a great day for VS, we now have [i]two[/i] guys again. You are both in my prayers. [quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1321737866' post='2338320'] It made you cry? Wow. Never did I think my conversion story was tear-worthy. As horrible as it may seem, your tears have made my day. I'm listening to the testimony of this Brother now. I bet it's really great. What Order is he from? [/quote] And in case you did not figure it out, he was a CFR. I never saw this post til now. Edited November 30, 2011 by i<3franciscans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now