What To Do, What To Do.....

[i<3LSOP]

Hi Ya'll,

So the other day my mum told me that at Medjugorje the Blessed Mother told the kids that she was appearing to that God would love it if they became Priests of Sisters, but that[i] they[/i] had to decide if [i]they [/i]wanted to do it. I don't know if ya'll believe in Medjugorje, but my family does and I thought that that was interesting. I love children, especially babies and toddlers and I would honestly prefer to get married and have (as FutureCarmeliteClaire says) littles. If Mary said this, then that means then that I don't have to be a Sister even though that I feel that that is what God wants. I want to be in close union with Him but I also don't want to be like the Nuns that are unhappy. What do you think?

[beatitude]

God wants to give us His own joy.

He would never ask us do something with our lives that makes us unhappy. Your mission in life is His gift to you, and you can bet it's a good one.

Sometimes people might feel frightened of religious life because it seems so strange to them. Marriage looks like a familiar option, and it seems comforting and safe. Religious life is a terrifying unknown. But if people are called to religious life, once they take that first brave step of faith out of the boat and onto the tempest-tossed water of the lake, they will find Jesus' hand clasping theirs and they will know where they're meant to be. And there's no happier place to be than that.

It's the same with marriage. Some people set their hearts on becoming priests or religious, when really this way of life just isn't for them. They might be nervous of getting married, for whatever reason. But when they meet the right person that all changes.

No matter what you do with your life, there will be times when you experience doubt and regret and loneliness. This is just a part of being human. No one is skipping happily through the meadows 100% of the time. But there is a deeper happiness that will carry us through these harder times. In the words of the Prophet Nehemiah, "The joy of the Lord is your strength."

Joy. It's yours. He's yours. You don't have to worry about anything - just trust Him enough to take you where you need to be, whether that's marriage or the convent or something else entirely. Wherever it is, you'll like it there. And be sure to have fun along the way!

Edited November 26, 2011 by beatitude

[LaPetiteSoeur]

The only way you will be happy is if you do God's will in your life. If you are meant to be a sister and become a sister, you will be happy. If you are meant to be a mother and become a sister, you won't be happy. But if you are called to be a mother and become a mother, you will be happy.

You are still very young--you don't have to figure out your vocation [i]right.now[/i]. Just discern--discern marriage, motherhood, religious life. Take this time to deepen your prayer life and deepen your relationship with Christ. Whichever way God leads you, a strong prayer life and relationship with Jesus will be your anchor.

You also don't have a be a nun to be close to God. St. Therese's parents were incredibly close to God and were married. St. Gianna was happily married and had quite a few "littles." Most of the people on Phatmass are married (or are called to marriage) and I assume they too are close to God.

Since you are still young, but sound like you want to deepen your relationship with God, I suggest getting a spiritual director if you don't have one yet. SDs are great for whatever state in life you are discerning or in (case in point: my gran has an SD. I have one. We're both deepening our relationships with him because of it. ).

I will be praying for you!

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Okay, so what the apparition says kind of has a little bit of a red flag for me. God has a vocation for every single one of us. Period. So, we are supposed to follow our vocation and our vocation that God has chosen for us is the quickest, most fulfilling way for God to take us for heaven. Whether our vocation be marriage or the religious life, we are supposed to follow that. Now, on the other hand, God doesn't MAKE us follow our vocation, but we don't really choose what our vocation is if you get what I am saying. Which it sounds like the Medjugorje is saying that these people can choose their vocation, either that, or I am mistaken as to what this means. Maybe she was telling them that their vocation was to enter the religious life, but God was not going to MAKE them do it? I don't know. And I am a little doubtful about the Medjugorje apparitions because of what the visionaries have gone on to do, some of the signs that have happened with the people's lives make me doubt a little. Anywho, that's just me, and seeing as it's not approved, I try and stick with the apparitions that HAVE been approved (Fatima, Lourdes, Kibeho, etc.) I feel like I'm raining on everyone's parade now, though. I don't know, this just threw a little red flag at me because we do not get to choose what our calling is, so to speak.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Oh, and here's a question from me for everyone. If we know God's will for us, wouldn't it be bad to purposely avoid that because we didn't "like" it?

[Orans]

[quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1322336357' post='2340828']
Hi Ya'll,

So the other day my mum told me that at Medjugorje the Blessed Mother told the kids that she was appearing to that God would love it if they became Priests of Sisters, but that[b][i] they[/i] had to decide if [i]they [/i]wanted to do it.[/b] I don't know if ya'll believe in Medjugorje, but my family does and I thought that that was interesting. I love children, especially babies and toddlers and I would honestly prefer to get married and have (as FutureCarmeliteClaire says) littles. If Mary said this, then that means then that [b]I don't have to be a Sister[/b] even though that[b] I feel that that is what God wants[/b]. [b]I want to be in close union with Him[/b] but I also [b]don't want to be like the Nuns that are unhapp[/b]y. What do you think?
[/quote]

You have important stuff here. I've highlighted the pieces that I would comment upon, and I will do it from the perspective of having struggled for thirty years with my vocation, so please bear with me.

What you say about the Medjugorje seers is totally true, WE have to make the choice, we can't just go with "it is God's Will" kind of thing, because a vocation is a personal dedication of the whole of our life to the project of being in close union with God (which is the purpose in life for EVERY baptized person). You really have this right

God is so respectful of our freedom that He is not going around telling people what to do with their lives. God invites and we have to respond freely and responsibly. God is and will be there for us ANYWAY in whatever our choice for life is.

If you "don't want to be a Sister", then forget about it, there is no point to forcing yourself. Search your heart and pray to find out what will be the way for you to give yourself totally to God -and that can be any lifestyle, what will bring you a spark of desire to fight for it. God responds to us but never with an imposition or a duty that we feel is overwhelming and almost depressing. That is not from God. -or maybe we are not praying and sacrificing ourselves at all and everything and anything may feel overwhelming and depressing

I don't know what makes you think that God WANTS you to be a nun. It might be good for you to talk with a spiritual director about that "obligation" -with the freedom of the children of God. It might be true but certainly you are not ready for it now. Or it might also be that in your heart of hearts you KNOW that being a nun is really what you really want to do with your life. Then even if you are scared, go for it. Ultimately life goes around many times, and you don't have to figure out everything right from the beginning. Pray in earnest and trust God, and God will give you the sense and desire to follow your true vocation.

As for being unhappy, that happens to people in any state of life, it doesn't depend on the lifestyle but rather, I think, on the way in which the decision is made, and the life lived. A person who prays and tries to be truly close to God is not going to feel unhappy. But a person who is afraid if "going against" God in what is not sinful, is worshiping a very narrow and authoritarian God who might be just an idol and not the real God. There is a difference between being obedient (conscious and willing in spite of the cost) and being subservient (kind of shy and coward about decisions and personal responsibility). Even though there is suffering attached to any decision, there is suffering compatible with being and feeling happy and fulfilled, and there is suffering -greater- that we get into trying to avoid the real and truthful suffering of life.

Sorry for this long and convoluted post. To say it in one line: PRAY, LOVE, and DO WHATEVER YOU WANT... and as a result BE HAPPY and at PEACE! And Rejoice in the Lord Always!!

[i<3LSOP]

Aw, thank you all so much! I could give ya'll hugs right now!

[InPersonaChriste]

Fulfilling your vocation will only give you true Joy. I know of a married woman who thought she "missed" her vocation as a religious, and in that mindset it occupied her so much that we believe she was not living out her true vocation as a mother, for her children were very neglected.

Do not put yourself into the mindset of a Vocation being a sentence for life or something that you do not prefer. For as John Paul II said, in discernment one must look thouroughly into both vocations so they know where God is leading them (something along those lines). Discernment is not meant to be confusing or midboggling. It is suppossed to open your heart up to the greatness of the Lord. To listen to your heart, and say yes to the whisper inside of it.

Everybody goes through periods of doubt, and it means that you must perservere through it. I'm sorry if this is not making very much sense, I have a slight cold.

In Christ
IPC

[InPersonaChriste]

[quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1322341473' post='2340849']
Fulfilling your vocation will only give you true Joy. I know of a married woman who thought she "missed" her vocation as a religious, and in that mindset it occupied her so much that we believe she was not living out her true vocation as a mother, for her children were very neglected.

Do not put yourself into the mindset of a Vocation being a sentence for life or something that you do not prefer. For as John Paul II said, in discernment one must look thouroughly into both vocations so they know where God is leading them (something along those lines). Discernment is not meant to be confusing or midboggling. It is suppossed to open your heart up to the greatness of the Lord. To listen to your heart, and say yes to the whisper inside of it.

Everybody goes through periods of doubt, and it means that you must perservere through it. I'm sorry if this is not making very much sense, I have a slight cold.

In Christ
IPC
[/quote]

p.s If you don't want to be a nun, you do not have to be one. You can admire their vocation without being one of them.

As St.Jon Bosco said to Dominic Savio: Do whatever you want, as long as you do not fall into sin.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Oh, and I second the point that was made that if it is your vocation, it will not make you miserable, it will bring you great joy.

[brandelynmarie]

Yes, joy,( not always happiness), is a key sign as they have said above. Listen to the Holy Spirit Who dwells in your heart. You may someday become a sister or mother, maybe even a third order! I would ask for the prayers of St. Therese & her parents as they all show different vocations beautifully.

[i<3franciscans]

I pmed you.

[Strictlyinkblot]

For a long time I felt pulled in two directions. I wanted to be married and have children yet I felt a pull to religious life. A pull I fought against. Eventually I gave God my full heart. You don't get a vocation to religious life because you deserve it or because you feel obliged. Its a gift from God. But a vocation to married life or single life is a gift as well. We can reject it if we want and God will still love us.

All I can say is pray about it and let God lead you. It took me about seven years to finally come to terms with it. I hope it doesn't take you that long. Let your heart be open.

[BarbTherese]

Those God has INVITED (not commanded) to religious life will have three basic signs:

An attraction to the life
Ability to lead the life
Acceptance into the life

If one of the above is missing, it is unlikely (but not impossible) that God is inviting the person to religious life and when one is under the acceptance age for religious life both ability and acceptance are not yet discernable. If one does have the three basic signs but longs to serve God in, say, marriage - then this would be His Delight and Joy that one has chosen to serve Him in the marital state. Obviously if one longs to serve God in marriage, and also has a certain attraction to religious life, I would think the wise way to travel would be to seek spiritual direction before actually making a firm decision.
Signs of vocation are more than just an attraction to the life and full acceptance into religious life occurs with final vows. Until final vows, it is a journey of discernment for both individual and the community.

[i<3LSOP]

[quote name='brandelynmarie' timestamp='1322346388' post='2340861']
Yes, joy,( not always happiness), is a key sign as they have said above. Listen to the Holy Spirit Who dwells in your heart. You may someday become a sister or mother, maybe even a third order! I would ask for the prayers of St. Therese & her parents as they all show different vocations beautifully.
[/quote]


I smiled when you said "listen to the holy spirit" this morning because last night because this is for me the "big New Year" I stayed up till 12:00 and I had put a devotion or saint on a piece of paper drew one and put it into an envelope closed it and ripped it open to see what or who it was. It was St. Damien. St. Damien helped to show me that I was called to religious life. Then I drew a Saint for Advent, St. Joseph it happened to be. The order I'm thinking of adores St. Joseph and they turn to him for everything. The Little Sisters even have a statue of him in there pockets. Then I drew one for my life long friend, it was the holy spirit. I was so elated last night at 12:15 in the morning that it I was jumping up and down and so joyful and couldn't fall asleep. Ya'll and this little thing last night helped me so much, thank you.