Ready Made Religious Personality/or Not?

[i<3LSOP]

[quote name='marigold' timestamp='1326471041' post='2368353']
That's not the point, honey. At least I hope it's not the point of what you're hoping to do. Happiness is a gift, it comes and goes, and we can't manufacture it ourselves.

The Lord is more than capable of dealing with our temper tantrums and sadness. He's been there and done that, and doesn't mind. And a strong community - not even necessarily a large one or a pro-psychological help one - will also be able to handle the natural differences we have.

I have to say I don't understand this strand of thought running through Roman Catholicism which assumes that those entering monastic/religious life are generally more sorted, happier, or 'further along in the virtues' than others. 'The perfect nun' syndrome (remember [i]The Nun's Story? [/i]Sr. Luke struggles and struggles, convinced that she's never going to be a good nun, and then one day the young novice tells her, 'But you're the perfect nun!' I think it's a big perception thing). This is a limitation on my part, and I'm sorry if I come across chilly. I do want to understand, but I also can't help pointing things out.
[/quote]


It is okay! You did not come across as chilly at all!

Thank you so much for explaining.

What I meant by “being happy all of the time” was not meant that I want happiness; Happiness is just a feeling. [b][i]I want to be joyful so that the residents the order takes care of will be joyful and because to properly live out your vocation you must be joyful![/i][/b] A Priest on a retreat pushed that you must be joyful to fulfill your vocation. The little residents are coming to the ends of their lives and many of them do not feel loved because it is as if their family has dumped them off at a nursing home to die. However, if I have the joy of the Lord and am loving and patient with them, they will feel loved because the Sisters love them.

Please anybody of vs if you don’t agree with this tell me! Okay?

Edited January 13, 2012 by i<3LSOP

[andibc]

[quote]What I meant by “being happy all of the time” was not meant that I want happiness....[/quote]
I understood you to mean being cheerful, and you are right! Cheerfulness goes hand in hand with kindness and both are acts of charity, sometimes heroic acts of charity, especially when they go against one's basic tendencies or in caring for difficult people. I'm proud of you for taking that step and God will surely increase your grace making it easier for you to know his joy and share it with others. I don't have it in my hands at the moment, but I remember Fr. Lovasik's book on kindness addresses this point. It's a fabulous book that has been reprinted under the title "The Hidden Power of Kindness: A Practical Handbook for Souls Who Dare to Transform the World, One Deed at a Time."

[Feankie]

If you've never taken the Meyers-Briggs personalaity inventory, I stronly suggest you do so. When I was working in a large mega-church some years back, we all took it. It really helped us understand our personalities, why we did (or didn't) do things, how to work with others whose personality type/s didn't mesh with our own, etc. It has helped my spiritual directees as well (and me working with them, too). I'm an ENTJ for those of you who know or will take the inventory. It's even helped me raise our children and with issues with my husband. I think it's useful for those of you who are discerning religious life as well. Try it --- you might be surprised at the results. I'm pretty sure you can find it on line.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Francis Clare' timestamp='1326553396' post='2368849']
If you've never taken the Meyers-Briggs personalaity inventory, I stronly suggest you do so. When I was working in a large mega-church some years back, we all took it. It really helped us understand our personalities, why we did (or didn't) do things, how to work with others whose personality type/s didn't mesh with our own, etc. It has helped my spiritual directees as well (and me working with them, too). I'm an ENTJ for those of you who know or will take the inventory. It's even helped me raise our children and with issues with my husband. I think it's useful for those of you who are discerning religious life as well. Try it --- you might be surprised at the results. I'm pretty sure you can find it on line.
[/quote]

I am really intrigued by the Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment. I took it when I started going to college and, at the time, I was an INFP (in or around 2002). Most recently, however, I register as an ISFJ. I think it's very interesting because I was going through major anxiety issues around 2002 so it changed my perception of things. I think ISFJ is more along the lines of where I am personality-wise. I am the "guardian" personality. Guardians seek to be in the caregiving field more often than not.

[marigold]

[quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1326474748' post='2368371']
It is okay! You did not come across as chilly at all!

Thank you so much for explaining.

What I meant by “being happy all of the time” was not meant that I want happiness; Happiness is just a feeling. [b][i]I want to be joyful so that the residents the order takes care of will be joyful and because to properly live out your vocation you must be joyful![/i][/b] A Priest on a retreat pushed that you must be joyful to fulfill your vocation. The little residents are coming to the ends of their lives and many of them do not feel loved because it is as if their family has dumped them off at a nursing home to die. However, if I have the joy of the Lord and am loving and patient with them, they will feel loved because the Sisters love them.

Please anybody of vs if you don’t agree with this tell me! Okay?
[/quote]

Thanks for clarifying this for me! I suspected that was what you meant but I'm just very sensitive to any suggestion that monastic/religious/priestly life has to do with an outward behaviour or appearances. To go back to jruss's original question, yes I do think some people take to it better than others, but wouldn't say there's a particular personality.

[jruss]

I think everyone's insights have been interesting. I especially appreciate Sr. Marie's clarifications of personality traits vs. expressions of them. For instance one young woman I know who is discerning is very strong-willed (not necessarily bad) and this expresses itself in argumentativeness and a slow willingness to bend to others opinions (problematic). It is a good distinction between our fallen nature itself and sinfulness stemming from it.

Obviously every religious is a sinner and needs to work on their weaknesses. And obviously all sorts of personalities can work as active or contemplative religious.

But how does one know if their personality quirks (or expressions of them) would make them "unfit" for the life? Or whether it just means the person is not ready (as it seems might have been the case with cmariadiaz)?

hmmmm

[Guest hermanita]

[quote name='jruss' timestamp='1326568595' post='2368987']
I think everyone's insights have been interesting. I especially appreciate Sr. Marie's clarifications of personality traits vs. expressions of them. For instance one young woman I know who is discerning is very strong-willed (not necessarily bad) and this expresses itself in argumentativeness and a slow willingness to bend to others opinions (problematic). It is a good distinction between our fallen nature itself and sinfulness stemming from it.

Obviously every religious is a sinner and needs to work on their weaknesses. And obviously all sorts of personalities can work as active or contemplative religious.

But how does one know if their personality quirks (or expressions of them) would make them "unfit" for the life? Or whether it just means the person is not ready (as it seems might have been the case with cmariadiaz)?

hmmmm
[/quote]

Both my Spiritual Director and Vocation Director have said the important thng is to be teachable. (Which among other things means the ability to grow and change in one's expression of personality etc.) So that's what I pray for, an open, teachable heart and spirit. And Our God answers prayer.

[somethingfishy]

I have to say I've known loads of different sorts of people who have become religious, so it's hard for me to think there's a "type." I think the point about being teachable is a good one (whether in religious life or marriage, actually).

[url="http://www.poorclarestmd.org/future/you/vocation.html"]How to Be a Nun[/url] -- lots of interesting thoughts about personal qualities/behavioural traits and religious life.

[marigold]

[quote name='jruss' timestamp='1326568595' post='2368987']

But how does one know if their personality quirks (or expressions of them) would make them "unfit" for the life? Or whether it just means the person is not ready (as it seems might have been the case with cmariadiaz)?

[/quote]

Well, you try it. That's really the only surefire way to find out.

[Strictlyinkblot]

From what I've read it would appear that those who are the most rigid and most concerned about the rules seem to be the ones most likely to leave. Now, this is only my opinion, but if you're not flexible you're more likely to break under pressure. But, as been said before a willingness to learn is good. And love, a capacity to love seems to be if not the most important then pretty high up there. As said above, if you don't try you'll never know.

[MithLuin]

Yes, I agree with being teachable or formable. If you aren't willing to take what your novice mistress tells you and try to grow....it's not going to work out. So, sure, stubbornness and being strong-willed can be an impediment to formation, if you let them be. But there's a reason love covers a multitude of sins -- love trumps everything. So, if you are a loving person...then the rest can be worked out. If you aren't....welll, that's likely a bigger problem than all the rest of it, isn't it?



As for Myers-Briggs, I think the important thing to understand is that not everyone is like you, so that other people will handle life (and particular situations) in very different ways. Realizing that they're just different (not wrong or stupid) is a huge first start to learning to work with others. They'll still drive you nuts, but at least now you'll understand what's going on.

[I don't trust anything that puts all the humans in the world into 16 categories...but...there you have it. The first time I took the test, I was ESTP. The next time, ENTP. The third time I took it, I took it twice in the same day, and got.....ENTP *and* INTP. I fail at 'know thyself' personality tests, I guess!]

Edited January 15, 2012 by MithLuin

[marigold]

[quote name='somethingfishy' timestamp='1326577701' post='2369072']

[url="http://www.poorclarestmd.org/future/you/vocation.html"]How to Be a Nun[/url] -- lots of interesting thoughts about personal qualities/behavioural traits and religious life.
[/quote]

I thought this was very good and funny advice!

[jruss]

teachable? I like that. Would a desire to be teachable suffice?

[jruss]

Teachable says to me, above all, a healthy level of humility and willingness to change. So perhaps it is the strong-will in combination with either pride or rigidity( as strictlyinkblot mentioned) that is the killer.

[Cherie]

[quote name='jruss' timestamp='1326677970' post='2369803']
Teachable says to me, above all, a healthy level of humility and willingness to change. So perhaps it is the strong-will in combination with either pride or rigidity( as strictlyinkblot mentioned) that is the killer.
[/quote]

I agree. I have known many Sisters--good, holy Sisters--who were very strong-willed. One in particular is literally a Saint, in my opinion, and she is a young Sister, too. It took her a LOT of serious internal struggle to overcome the pride in her strong-willed nature, but because she responded lovingly and consistently to God's grace and had a genuine call to religious life, she was able to turn it around for God's honor and glory instead. The same was similar for St. Therese, also for her sister Celine. Sometimes a strong will, guided by religious formation and the grace of God, can be turned from something prideful into one of the best, most fiercely loyal and beautiful things for God. I think part of that is the struggle that had ensued: they are like fire-tried gold, and after they have gone through the hardest part of their purificiation (because we are always being purified, til the day we die) they shine so brilliantly.