Ready Made Religious Personality/or Not?

[jruss]

I think everyone's insights have been interesting. I especially appreciate Sr. Marie's clarifications of personality traits vs. expressions of them. For instance one young woman I know who is discerning is very strong-willed (not necessarily bad) and this expresses itself in argumentativeness and a slow willingness to bend to others opinions (problematic). It is a good distinction between our fallen nature itself and sinfulness stemming from it.

Obviously every religious is a sinner and needs to work on their weaknesses. And obviously all sorts of personalities can work as active or contemplative religious.

But how does one know if their personality quirks (or expressions of them) would make them "unfit" for the life? Or whether it just means the person is not ready (as it seems might have been the case with cmariadiaz)?

hmmmm

[Guest hermanita]

[quote name='jruss' timestamp='1326568595' post='2368987']
I think everyone's insights have been interesting. I especially appreciate Sr. Marie's clarifications of personality traits vs. expressions of them. For instance one young woman I know who is discerning is very strong-willed (not necessarily bad) and this expresses itself in argumentativeness and a slow willingness to bend to others opinions (problematic). It is a good distinction between our fallen nature itself and sinfulness stemming from it.

Obviously every religious is a sinner and needs to work on their weaknesses. And obviously all sorts of personalities can work as active or contemplative religious.

But how does one know if their personality quirks (or expressions of them) would make them "unfit" for the life? Or whether it just means the person is not ready (as it seems might have been the case with cmariadiaz)?

hmmmm
[/quote]

Both my Spiritual Director and Vocation Director have said the important thng is to be teachable. (Which among other things means the ability to grow and change in one's expression of personality etc.) So that's what I pray for, an open, teachable heart and spirit. And Our God answers prayer.

[somethingfishy]

I have to say I've known loads of different sorts of people who have become religious, so it's hard for me to think there's a "type." I think the point about being teachable is a good one (whether in religious life or marriage, actually).

[url="http://www.poorclarestmd.org/future/you/vocation.html"]How to Be a Nun[/url] -- lots of interesting thoughts about personal qualities/behavioural traits and religious life.

[marigold]

[quote name='jruss' timestamp='1326568595' post='2368987']

But how does one know if their personality quirks (or expressions of them) would make them "unfit" for the life? Or whether it just means the person is not ready (as it seems might have been the case with cmariadiaz)?

[/quote]

Well, you try it. That's really the only surefire way to find out.

[Strictlyinkblot]

From what I've read it would appear that those who are the most rigid and most concerned about the rules seem to be the ones most likely to leave. Now, this is only my opinion, but if you're not flexible you're more likely to break under pressure. But, as been said before a willingness to learn is good. And love, a capacity to love seems to be if not the most important then pretty high up there. As said above, if you don't try you'll never know.

[MithLuin]

Yes, I agree with being teachable or formable. If you aren't willing to take what your novice mistress tells you and try to grow....it's not going to work out. So, sure, stubbornness and being strong-willed can be an impediment to formation, if you let them be. But there's a reason love covers a multitude of sins -- love trumps everything. So, if you are a loving person...then the rest can be worked out. If you aren't....welll, that's likely a bigger problem than all the rest of it, isn't it?



As for Myers-Briggs, I think the important thing to understand is that not everyone is like you, so that other people will handle life (and particular situations) in very different ways. Realizing that they're just different (not wrong or stupid) is a huge first start to learning to work with others. They'll still drive you nuts, but at least now you'll understand what's going on.

[I don't trust anything that puts all the humans in the world into 16 categories...but...there you have it. The first time I took the test, I was ESTP. The next time, ENTP. The third time I took it, I took it twice in the same day, and got.....ENTP *and* INTP. I fail at 'know thyself' personality tests, I guess!]

Edited January 15, 2012 by MithLuin

[marigold]

[quote name='somethingfishy' timestamp='1326577701' post='2369072']

[url="http://www.poorclarestmd.org/future/you/vocation.html"]How to Be a Nun[/url] -- lots of interesting thoughts about personal qualities/behavioural traits and religious life.
[/quote]

I thought this was very good and funny advice!

[jruss]

teachable? I like that. Would a desire to be teachable suffice?

[jruss]

Teachable says to me, above all, a healthy level of humility and willingness to change. So perhaps it is the strong-will in combination with either pride or rigidity( as strictlyinkblot mentioned) that is the killer.

[Cherie]

[quote name='jruss' timestamp='1326677970' post='2369803']
Teachable says to me, above all, a healthy level of humility and willingness to change. So perhaps it is the strong-will in combination with either pride or rigidity( as strictlyinkblot mentioned) that is the killer.
[/quote]

I agree. I have known many Sisters--good, holy Sisters--who were very strong-willed. One in particular is literally a Saint, in my opinion, and she is a young Sister, too. It took her a LOT of serious internal struggle to overcome the pride in her strong-willed nature, but because she responded lovingly and consistently to God's grace and had a genuine call to religious life, she was able to turn it around for God's honor and glory instead. The same was similar for St. Therese, also for her sister Celine. Sometimes a strong will, guided by religious formation and the grace of God, can be turned from something prideful into one of the best, most fiercely loyal and beautiful things for God. I think part of that is the struggle that had ensued: they are like fire-tried gold, and after they have gone through the hardest part of their purificiation (because we are always being purified, til the day we die) they shine so brilliantly.

[Guest hermanita]

[quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1326697188' post='2369903']
I agree. I have known many Sisters--good, holy Sisters--who were very strong-willed. One in particular is literally a Saint, in my opinion, and she is a young Sister, too. It took her a LOT of serious internal struggle to overcome the pride in her strong-willed nature, but because she responded lovingly and consistently to God's grace and had a genuine call to religious life, she was able to turn it around for God's honor and glory instead. The same was similar for St. Therese, also for her sister Celine. Sometimes a strong will, guided by religious formation and the grace of God, can be turned from something prideful into one of the best, most fiercely loyal and beautiful things for God. I think part of that is the struggle that had ensued: they are like fire-tried gold, and after they have gone through the hardest part of their purificiation (because we are always being purified, til the day we die) they shine so brilliantly.
[/quote]

So encouraging. Thank you.

[MarysLittleFlower]

[quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1326697188' post='2369903']
I agree. I have known many Sisters--good, holy Sisters--who were very strong-willed. One in particular is literally a Saint, in my opinion, and she is a young Sister, too. It took her a LOT of serious internal struggle to overcome the pride in her strong-willed nature, but because she responded lovingly and consistently to God's grace and had a genuine call to religious life, she was able to turn it around for God's honor and glory instead. The same was similar for St. Therese, also for her sister Celine. Sometimes a strong will, guided by religious formation and the grace of God, can be turned from something prideful into one of the best, most fiercely loyal and beautiful things for God. I think part of that is the struggle that had ensued: they are like fire-tried gold, and after they have gone through the hardest part of their purificiation (because we are always being purified, til the day we die) they shine so brilliantly.
[/quote]

that's beautiful thank you for this

I think I have a strong willed nature and at its worst it turned into being argumentative and proud. Still working on that. Then other times I go the other way and I'm lazy.. but I'm always opinionated lol. I think God can transform our personalities so that they are purified, and as you said, being strong willed can turn into something good instead.

[Cherie]

You will notice the majority of Foundresses were "strong-willed" women. They had to be purified first, of course, to get rid of pride; but the drive and dedication in their strong will is what was necessary to overcome the countless obstacles in founding a new community. God gave us the personalities He did for a reason!

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='jruss' timestamp='1326677970' post='2369803']
Teachable says to me, above all, a healthy level of humility and willingness to change. So perhaps it is the strong-will in combination with either pride or rigidity( as strictlyinkblot mentioned) that is the killer.
[/quote]

I think its really hard to say what is the "killer" because what is perfectly fine for one community won't work for another. Yes I would think a person who is unwilling to change (strong-willed or otherwise) will have a problem at bat because religious life requires change, it requires the willingness to be molded, to be "purified" to some degree or another.

[quote name='marigold' timestamp='1326580202' post='2369110']
Well, you try it. That's really the only surefire way to find out.
[/quote]

Yep agreed. Sometimes that's the only real way to know. Otherwise it may simply be speculation.

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1326848173' post='2370727']
You will notice the majority of Foundresses were "strong-willed" women. They had to be purified first, of course, to get rid of pride; but the drive and dedication in their strong will is what was necessary to overcome the countless obstacles in founding a new community. God gave us the personalities He did for a reason!
[/quote]

This is quite true ... the founders/foundresses that I have met are very strong willed people, and I suspect God would have had to do a work with them to transform them to what He wanted.

Edited January 18, 2012 by cmariadiaz