My Stammering

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1331448472' post='2399021']
Luckily enough for me, being a Saint is on my list of things to do. Plus, humility comes easy for someone that can't speak. You soon realize that you're nothing while God is everything. God can do everything, and you? You can't even speak. How big and powerful.
[/quote]

We are all called to sanctity so it is lovely that this is your goal. Unfortunately humility isn't a by-product of simply being unable to do something or even from being humilliated. It is a virtue that one needs to work at just as they do any virtue, and it is also a gift from God. Certainly recognising God's greatness and our smallness is an essential first step along the way. But pride and vanity can be very subtle sins that prevent us from understanding true humility. How we treat others and how we respond to correction are two very good indicators of whether one is progressing in humility or not. I am sure that if pleasing God is your desire, especially through either religious life or the priesthood, then you will be given plenty of opportunities to practice this virtue and to grow in it. But don't think that simply being unable to speak is some kind of magic ticket to humility - if it was, then everyone who stammers would be a saint!

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1331449468' post='2399025']
We are all called to sanctity so it is lovely that this is your goal. Unfortunately humility isn't a by-product of simply being unable to do something or even from being humilliated. It is a virtue that one needs to work at just as they do any virtue, and it is also a gift from God. Certainly recognising God's greatness and our smallness is an essential first step along the way. But pride and vanity can be very subtle sins that prevent us from understanding true humility. How we treat others and how we respond to correction are two very good indicators of whether one is progressing in humility or not. I am sure that if pleasing God is your desire, especially through either religious life or the priesthood, then you will be given plenty of opportunities to practice this virtue and to grow in it. But don't think that simply being unable to speak is some kind of magic ticket to humility - if it was, then everyone who stammers would be a saint!
[/quote]

I know it's not. But it is a very easy tool to be humble. It teaches you to be thankful for everything you're able to say. When/if I am a Priest and I celebrate the Mass successfully, I will be able to kneel before the Holy Sacrament and thank God for helping me say the Mass. I am sure that even after all those years of professional speech training during Seminary my first few Masses will be full of anxiety for me.

However, I have picked up the subtle hints of responding to correction. Just so you know, I am doing way better. I write stories, and when people corrected my stuff I used to get so mad. Besides, I don't think it's an anger towards correction as much as it is simply not understanding what you want. I followed the advice given to me, I didn't speak absolutely, I asked people what their opinion was, but that didn't work either. I don't have a problem with the way I speak on any other site but here. My theory is you women on here are just hormonal and need a nap.

Edited March 11, 2012 by FuturePriest387

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1331450014' post='2399028']
I know it's not. But it is a very easy tool to be humble. It teaches you to be thankful for everything you're able to say. When/if I am a Priest and I celebrate the Mass successfully, I will be able to kneel before the Holy Sacrament and thank God for helping me say the Mass. I am sure that even after all those years of professional speech training during Seminary my first few Masses will be full of anxiety for me.

However, I have picked up the subtle hints of responding to correction. Just so you know, I am doing way better. I write stories, and when people corrected my stuff I used to get so mad. Besides, I don't think it's an anger towards correction as much as it is simply not understanding what you want. I followed the advice given to me, I didn't speak absolutely, I asked people what their opinion was, but that didn't work either. I don't have a problem with the way I speak on any other site but here. My theory is you women on here are just hormonal and need a nap.
[/quote]

Well, with that last statement (no matter how humorous you were trying to be) you ruined everything that came before it! If every time someone suggests that you might need correcting in some area, you use denigrating humour to try to make them appear wrong, you have a long road to walk before you understand what true humility is. Sorry to be blunt but at least I am not hiding behind humour to try to make you look ridiculous.

Before that last statement however, you were actually saying some honest and open things about how you feel. And yes, I do hope you are able to become a priest because nothing could be more beautiful than be allowed to stand 'in persona Christi' and offer the sacrifice to God. I hope if this does happen, you never completely feel comfortable doing it, because it is an a.wesome thing that anyone should be allowed such a grace. Not every priest seems to understand just how great the grace is, and I wonder if sometimes 'familiarity breeds contempt' (meaning that some might begin to take it for granted).

I won't comment anymore on what you have written because it will start to get too personal, but no, I don't think you really understand yet what it means to be corrected and to accept it with grace and respond appropriately, but I have no doubts whatsoever that God will teach these things to you in His own good time and in His own way. For everything there is a time and a season.

Best wishes on your discernment and your journey.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1331451466' post='2399030']
Well, with that last statement (no matter how humorous you were trying to be) you ruined everything that came before it! If every time someone suggests that you might need correcting in some area, you use denigrating humour to try to make them appear wrong, you have a long road to walk before you understand what true humility is. Sorry to be blunt but at least I am not hiding behind humour to try to make you look ridiculous.

Before that last statement however, you were actually saying some honest and open things about how you feel. And yes, I do hope you are able to become a priest because nothing could be more beautiful than be allowed to stand 'in persona Christi' and offer the sacrifice to God. I hope if this does happen, you never completely feel comfortable doing it, because it is an a.wesome thing that anyone should be allowed such a grace. Not every priest seems to understand just how great the grace is, and I wonder if sometimes 'familiarity breeds contempt' (meaning that some might begin to take it for granted).

I won't comment anymore on what you have written because it will start to get too personal, but no, I don't think you really understand yet what it means to be corrected and to accept it with grace and respond appropriately, but I have no doubts whatsoever that God will teach these things to you in His own good time and in His own way. For everything there is a time and a season.

Best wishes on your discernment and your journey.
[/quote]

Here's the problem: everyone is reading too much into my comments. That joke was to show that I'm in a light-hearted mood and I'm not angry at all by your correcting me. Everyone takes my comments way too seriously and thinks that they go deeper than they really do. In other words, if my jokes were caves, people would have smacked their head at the end of them way before they expected to. I'm not trying to hide behind jokes, I'm simply expressing that I don't know what I'm expected to do. That joke didn't come out because I wasn't taking your criticism well. I like to joke and make people laugh.

I'm not saying I'm perfect at accepting criticism. I, like all people, hate to be criticized, even if the person is right. No, in fact, [i]especially [/i]if the person is right. But that did not come out of not being able to handle criticism well.

And I was most certainly not trying to make you look ridiculous. I joke about things that some people take very seriously. For some people, that is their hormones and such. However, as I have had to learn with my stammering, if you can't joke about it, you are taking it way too seriously. They're just hormones. They are there to stay for a while, so you might as well make fun of them instead of treating them like they are the Ark of the Covenant (Very seriously). Make any crack about my speech that you want to. In fact, my book says I should belittle it, as it makes me less sensitive about it, which helps me not to do it anymore. Please, joke all you want, use as much sardonic humor about it as you possibly can, and please, make it personal.

Edited March 11, 2012 by FuturePriest387

[AccountDeleted]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1331452693' post='2399034']
Here's the problem: everyone is reading too much into my comments. That joke was to show that I'm in a light-hearted mood and I'm not angry at all by your correcting me. Everyone takes my comments way too seriously and thinks that they go deeper than they really do. In other words, if my jokes were caves, people would have smacked their head at the end of them way before they expected to. I'm not trying to hide behind jokes, I'm simply expressing that I don't know what I'm expected to do. That joke didn't come out because I wasn't taking your criticism well. I like to joke and make people laugh.

I'm not saying I'm perfect at accepting criticism. I, like all people, hate to be criticized, even if the person is right. No, in fact, [i]especially [/i]if the person is right. But that did not come out of not being able to handle criticism well.
[/quote]

Of course it came out of not being able to handle criticism well because it wasn't funny. Not only wasn't it funny, it wasn't accurate or factual either. It was a defensive mechanism designed to direct attention away from yourself towards another. If you ever study psychology you will learn a little bit more about defense mechanisms, which we use to protect ourselves psychologically - so yes, you do try to hide behind jokes. I have offered to correspond privately about these things because I don't want to give the appearance of attacking you or trying to draw attention to these things, but you continue to post, but rather than just state your case, as you did in the beginning of your last post (very nice by the way), you then go on to make some rude or obnoxious comment that you pretend is supposed to be funny but which is really designed to make another appear foolish and therefore lacking in credibility. What part of your statement about women's hormones was either appropriate or funny in our discussion about humility? Perhaps if you explained the joke to me, I might feel differently, but I can honestly say that I simply did not see what the joke was.

If you don't know what you are expected to do, or what you are doing wrong, then perhaps you should actually take the time to read what is posted and try to think about it some more. Or even to state just that, "I don't know what to do or what I am doing wrong.' That is honest and doesn't try to belittle others. And the really important thing, that is humble.


[i]To be pleased at correction and reproofs shows that one loves the virtues which are contrary to those faults for which he is corrected and reproved. And, therefore, it is a great sign of advancement in perfection[/i]. -- St. Francis de Sales

Edited March 11, 2012 by nunsense

[MIKolbe]

I had a stammering problem when I was younger.I had troubles with my R's and L's and M's and N's the most. I spent many years going to a speech therapist. In the latter part of high school, it 'went away'. I am unsure if it was because of the years of speech therapy, or if I outgrew it...but I was thankful. I still consider myself a stammer-er though, as there are some words that cause me problems (sometimes), but I can 'play it off' well enough. I tell people about my speech impediment, and they now say 'what speech impediment?"

Prayers for you...

[homeschoolmom]

[img]http://www.prophecyinthenews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/moses.png[/img]

You're in good company.

[Archaeology cat]

Prayers, FP. We all have our obstacles to overcome and crosses to bear, but God gives us the grace we need.

And just a tip, while you may have been trying to joke with the comment about hormones, it's really not appropriate. I know it's not something you've lived, but there are few things more infuriating than being told your reaction is due to nothing more than hormones, as if we cannot be upset or angry without it being "just" hormonal. And of course our cyclic hormones affect us, but that doesn't invalidate our concerns, opinions, etc. again, I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, I'm just letting you know how I feel when that line is used, because I've had people dismiss my feelings or reactions by declaring that I was just hormonal. It's infuriating.

God bless.

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' timestamp='1331468652' post='2399044']
[img]http://www.prophecyinthenews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/moses.png[/img]

You're in good company.
[/quote]
Kenny Loggins stutters?? Who knew!

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1331472807' post='2399047']
Prayers, FP. We all have our obstacles to overcome and crosses to bear, but God gives us the grace we need.

And just a tip, while you may have been trying to joke with the comment about hormones, it's really not appropriate. I know it's not something you've lived, but there are few things more infuriating than being told your reaction is due to nothing more than hormones, as if we cannot be upset or angry without it being "just" hormonal. And of course our cyclic hormones affect us, but that doesn't invalidate our concerns, opinions, etc. again, I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, I'm just letting you know how I feel when that line is used, because I've had people dismiss my feelings or reactions by declaring that I was just hormonal. It's infuriating.

God bless.
[/quote]

Here's why it was a joke:

1) I wasn't being serious. I know that the women here are not being hormonal. There's no way I would've said that if I believed it to be true.
2) I made the joke not out of a defense mechanism, but because I am sarcastic, and because I cannot figure out what people want. People said don't be absolute, so I wasn't. I got in trouble. People said that instead of stating my opinions ask others what they think. I got in trouble. No matter what I do, people get mad at me, and I've had it. I am sick of people getting angry at me or things that simply. don't. matter. Do you think I would say that women are crazy and hormonal in real life? That's proposterous. I'd have to be able to speak in order to do that in the first place. In real life, people tell me I'm well-mannered, a hard worker, funny, etc, but not here. As stated elsewhere, this is the only site that gives me problems. The reason I told the joke I did is because most of the people that are correcting me are women, and they can never make their mind up on what they want me to do. Everywhere else I go with mainly adults like Catholic Answers Forums is fine. They think I'm one of the best members. However, every time I'm here, even on a thread like this that is very personal and important to me, I'm getting corrected and told that I hide behind jokes and what-not, even though I don't. I am sick of it. Correct me all you want, but this is not correcting. This is not the proper way of going about correcting.

And one last thing: why am I the one always being corrected and not Winchester? Winchester always trolls and does obnoxious stuff.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have many important things to do, like go to Mass and read a book on how to fix me.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1331465396' post='2399040']
I had a stammering problem when I was younger.I had troubles with my R's and L's and M's and N's the most. I spent many years going to a speech therapist. In the latter part of high school, it 'went away'. I am unsure if it was because of the years of speech therapy, or if I outgrew it...but I was thankful. I still consider myself a stammer-er though, as there are some words that cause me problems (sometimes), but I can 'play it off' well enough. I tell people about my speech impediment, and they now say 'what speech impediment?"

Prayers for you...
[/quote]

I know what you mean. I abhor L's, N's, R's, M's, S's, F's, anything that can be prolonged. As I'm pretty sure I stated, there are three types of stammering: the repetitive one everyone knows, the prolonged one "Lllllliiiiiiiike this", and the one where you can only make a noise or no noise at all. I never have a problem with the first one. It's always the second two that I struggle badly with, the second one in particular. It's no fun, especially since it's really hard to explain on a phone (Quite literally).

I actually had a therapist. She helped a lot. I just need more help than she was able to give me, as she wasn't a professional in the field of stammering, but in correcting speech for many different people.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1331476868' post='2399058']


Here's why it was a joke:

1) I wasn't being serious. I know that the women here are not being hormonal. There's no way I would've said that if I believed it to be true.
2) I made the joke not out of a defense mechanism, but because I am sarcastic, and because I cannot figure out what people want. People said don't be absolute, so I wasn't. I got in trouble. People said that instead of stating my opinions ask others what they think. I got in trouble. No matter what I do, people get mad at me, and I've had it. I am sick of people getting angry at me or things that simply. don't. matter. Do you think I would say that women are crazy and hormonal in real life? That's proposterous. I'd have to be able to speak in order to do that in the first place. In real life, people tell me I'm well-mannered, a hard worker, funny, etc, but not here. As stated elsewhere, this is the only site that gives me problems. The reason I told the joke I did is because most of the people that are correcting me are women, and they can never make their mind up on what they want me to do. Everywhere else I go with mainly adults like Catholic Answers Forums is fine. They think I'm one of the best members. However, every time I'm here, even on a thread like this that is very personal and important to me, I'm getting corrected and told that I hide behind jokes and what-not, even though I don't. I am sick of it. Correct me all you want, but this is not correcting. This is not the proper way of going about correcting.

And one last thing: why am I the one always being corrected and not Winchester? Winchester always trolls and does obnoxious stuff.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have many important things to do, like go to Mass and read a book on how to fix me.
[/quote]FP, I know you weren't being serious. However, even in jest, that isn't an appropriate joke, which is what I was trying to explain. It wasn't correction so much as explanation as to why nunsense and I didn't find the joke in good taste. Again, prayers for you with your stammering, and I wish you the best. May God bless you.

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1331474031' post='2399053']
Kenny Loggins stutters?? Who knew!
[/quote]

Not Kenny Loggins... It's Kenny Rogers. Sheesh....

[Vincent Vega]

[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v623/madtv_viper/KennysJackass04.jpg[/img]

[PhuturePriest]

Well, would anyone like to start the topic over again, please?