Phatmass Lent Test

[Luigi]

The Bible tells us that after Jesus fasted for 40 days in the desert, He was hungry.

1. Would Jesus watch "The Hunger Game?"

2. Why do you suppose he found "The Hunger Game" so fascinating, assuming you answered 'Yes' to #1 above.

3. Would Jesus eat popcorn while watching "The Hunger Games," or merely post an 'eating-popcorn' emoticon?

4. Would Jesus eat cheesecake? Would He eat it while watching "The Hunger Game?" Explain your answer.

5. Would Jesus - a Jew but also the Messiah - eat bacon cheesecake? Why or why not? Quote from the Bible and the Church Fathers.

6. If Jesus goes to Roamin' Catholic's house on Easter, AND MsScripture serves only bacon cheesecake, AND you have proven that Jesus doesn't eat bacon cheesecake, THEN would Jesus turn the bacon cheesecake into Oreo cheesecake (or some other equally scrumptious flavor)?

7. Summarize the spirituality of food as developed on Phatmass during the papacy of Benedict XVI. Does it retain validity today?

8. Does organic food have an unintended spiritual side-effect of cleansing the soul, or is the sacrament of reconciliation still required?

9. What are the seven cooking gifts and twelve cooking fruits of the Holy Spirit?


BONUS QUESTION - Add [i]and answer[/i] (in a fully developed paragraph) your own question.

Edited March 31, 2012 by Luigi

[Groo the Wanderer]

Yes, Because marshmallows don't have bones.

[Luigi]

BONUS [b]QUESTION[/b]: Would Jesus eat cheesecake and grouse about Richard Dawkins, or not grouse at all but smash the cheesecake in Dawkins' face?

[b]ANSWER[/b]: Jesus would not eat cheesecake and grouse about Richard Dawkins. Jesus recognizes that eating an entire cheesecake - of whatever flavor - would constitute an instance of the sin of gluttony. Jesus, being perfect, would not - nor could He - engender an instance of the sin of gluttony. Additionally, Jesus, being the Lord and Savior of all people, recognizes Dawkins as a child of God, the possessor of a soul, infinitely loved by God the Father, and worthy of salvation. Therefore, Jesus would not grouse about Dawkins. If Jesus were to engage in grousing, Jesus would grouse [b]directly to[/b] Dawkins about Dawkins' beliefs, statements,and actions, thus converting sinful grousing into a fraternal reprimand. On the contrary, Jesus would smash the cheesecake into Dawkins' face. Some will consider this a sinful waste of cheesecake, which is the fruit of the cow and work of human hands. However, ch.eese and cheesecake both abound in the land, for it is a land flowing with milk and honey, milk being the source ingredient of ch.eese and all. And although it has not been recorded in the synoptic Gospels, I believe that Jesus engaged in clown ministry; cheesecake-in-the-face being a recent variation on the classic pie-in-the-face.

And that clown Dawkins really needs some ministry!

[MissScripture]

I Phatmass.

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='Luigi' timestamp='1333170778' post='2411024']
BONUS [b]QUESTION[/b]: Would Jesus eat cheesecake and grouse about Richard Dawkins, or not grouse at all but smash the cheesecake in Dawkins' face?

[b]ANSWER[/b]: Jesus would not eat cheesecake and grouse about Richard Dawkins. [b]Jesus recognizes that eating an entire cheesecake - of whatever flavor - would constitute an instance of the sin of gluttony. Jesus, being perfect, would not - nor could He - engender an instance of the sin of gluttony[/b]. Additionally, Jesus, being the Lord and Savior of all people, recognizes Dawkins as a child of God, the possessor of a soul, infinitely loved by God the Father, and worthy of salvation. Therefore, Jesus would not grouse about Dawkins. If Jesus were to engage in grousing, Jesus would grouse [b]directly to[/b] Dawkins about Dawkins' beliefs, statements,and actions, thus converting sinful grousing into a fraternal reprimand. On the contrary, Jesus would smash the cheesecake into Dawkins' face. Some will consider this a sinful waste of cheesecake, which is the fruit of the cow and work of human hands. However, ch.eese and cheesecake both abound in the land, for it is a land flowing with milk and honey, milk being the source ingredient of ch.eese and all. And although it has not been recorded in the synoptic Gospels, I believe that Jesus engaged in clown ministry; cheesecake-in-the-face being a recent variation on the classic pie-in-the-face.

And that clown Dawkins really needs some ministry!
[/quote]

But then why would Jesus not just eat a reasonably sized slice of cheesecake that would not be large enough to constitute gluttony. Your answer suggests the Lord doesn't have the self-control to only eat one slice of cheesecake.

[Luigi]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1333186213' post='2411073']
But then why would Jesus not just eat a reasonably sized slice of cheesecake that would not be large enough to constitute gluttony. Your answer suggests the Lord doesn't have the self-control to only eat one slice of cheesecake.
[/quote]

Obviously, I didn't study enough for this test.....

[HopefulBride]

I failed

[missionseeker]

Have you been reading Aquinas?

[Luigi]

Would that I had the time to read Aquinas....

[Lisa]

[b][color=#282828]9. What are the seven cooking gifts and twelve cooking fruits of the Holy Spirit:[/color][/b]

[color=#282828]The Seven Cooking Gifts:[/color]
[color=#282828]Roasting, [/color][color=#282828]Sauteing, Boiling, Frying (one of the cardinal virtues, as well), Searing, [/color][color=#282828] Baking, and Broiling.[/color]


[color=#282828]12 Cooking Fruits:[/color]
[font="'Segoe UI"][color="#282828"]Delicious meals, no complaints at the table, clogged arteries, extra energy, a "food baby", happy families, dishes (allows you to practice virtue), a sense of accomplishment, leftovers, stress-relief, a full refrigerator, quiet except for clanking forks.[/color][/font]

[vee]

the answer to everything is cherry cheesecake

[img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dh5gmJziHCU/TkiLQ53WT6I/AAAAAAAABVw/ErRoYPnz-AE/s1600/cheery+cheesecake+with+nip.jpg[/img]

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='Luigi' timestamp='1333201563' post='2411112']
Obviously, I didn't study enough for this test.....
[/quote]

You fail for proclaiming the heresy that Our Lord would not be able to refrain from eating an entire cheesecake.

Edited April 1, 2012 by EmilyAnn

[MissScripture]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1333301218' post='2411501']
You fail for proclaiming the heresy that Our Lord would not be able to refrain from eating an entire cheesecake.
[/quote]
What is the name of that heresy? Cheescakeism?

[Luigi]

I don't know but I think it must be related to the idea that the whole Body of Christ is contained in even a sliver of the host...

Can the whole cheescake be contained in a slice of the cheesecake?


Uh-oh.. mmmm... nnnn.... I'm starting to confuse myself! MAKE IT STOP!!!!

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='Luigi' timestamp='1333317480' post='2411604']
I don't know but I think it must be related to the idea that the whole Body of Christ is contained in even a sliver of the host...

Can the whole cheescake be contained in a slice of the cheesecake?


Uh-oh.. mmmm... nnnn.... I'm starting to confuse myself! MAKE IT STOP!!!!
[/quote]

A slice of cheesecake is fundamentally as much cheesecake as a whole cheesecake is. In this way it is like the Body of Christ. But a slice of cheesecake is not the same as a whole cheesecake: the nutritional value, for example, is different. You get much greater nutrition from a whole cheesecake than just a slice of cheesecake. In this way it is not like the Body of Christ.

Cheesecake Theology . . . it's gonna be a thing.

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1333308546' post='2411554']
What is the name of that heresy? Cheescakeism?
[/quote]

That works. The heresy of Cheesecakeism - I will dedicate my life to eradicating it!

[MissScripture]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1333318077' post='2411611']
That works. The heresy of Cheesecakeism - I will dedicate my life to eradicating it!
[/quote]
I think you may need to found a new Religious Order.

[vee]

Im sure Luigi would have good names for all Sisters and Brothers.

[Clare~Therese]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1333323200' post='2411645']
I think you may need to found a new Religious Order.
[/quote]

Dominicakes

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1333324801' post='2411653']
Im sure Luigi would have good names for all Sisters and Brothers.
[/quote]

As soon as I recruit more sisters!


[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1333323200' post='2411645']
I think you may need to found a new Religious Order.
[/quote]
[quote name='Clare~Therese' timestamp='1333334878' post='2411708']
Dominicakes


[/quote]

I will call it the Sisters of Our Lady of Temperance. I will serve as the abbess. Applications are open: no age limit, married women allowed.