Phatmass Lent Test

[MIKolbe]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1333300649' post='2411500']
the answer to everything is cherry cheesecake

[img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dh5gmJziHCU/TkiLQ53WT6I/AAAAAAAABVw/ErRoYPnz-AE/s1600/cheery+cheesecake+with+nip.jpg[/img]
[/quote]

and tacos

[MissScripture]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1333361794' post='2411762']
As soon as I recruit more sisters!





I will call it the Sisters of Our Lady of Temperance. I will serve as the abbess. Applications are open: no age limit, married women allowed.
[/quote]
Will we be allowed to consume reasonable amounts of cheesecake, or will this Order be anti-cheesecake in reparation for those who have fallen into the trap of the glamour of cheesecake?

[Not A Mallard]

wrong thread

Edited April 2, 2012 by Not A Mallard

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1333382450' post='2411854']
Will we be allowed to consume reasonable amounts of cheesecake, or will this Order be anti-cheesecake in reparation for those who have fallen into the trap of the glamour of cheesecake?
[/quote]

Cheesecake will be permitted on Sundays and feast days, in moderate amounts. As much as we wish to eradicate the heresy of Cheesecakeism we also do not want people to think we are opposed to cheesecake.

I will begin developing our timetable! Me and my sisters shall have our own special version of the Divine Office with the hours re-named after types of cheesecake. There will be a Daily Rosary offered for the souls of those who proclaim the heresy of Cheesecakeism. Our habits will be blue, shades and veil colour to be confirmed.

[Papist]

Cheesecake is not scriptural you heathens!!!!!

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='Papist' timestamp='1333396629' post='2412017']
Cheesecake is not scriptural you heathens!!!!!
[/quote]

Cheesecake is God's love manifesting in food. Cheesecake is a gift from God. Anti-cheesecake lies will be another heresy the Sisters of Our Lady of Temperance will fight.

[Papist]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1333397307' post='2412021']
Cheesecake is God's love manifesting in food. Cheesecake is a gift from God. Anti-cheesecake lies will be another heresy the Sisters of Our Lady of Temperance will fight.
[/quote]

You are committing cheesecakedolatry!!!!!!!!!

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='Papist' timestamp='1333399092' post='2412038']
You are committing cheesecakedolatry!!!!!!!!!
[/quote]

Lies! Cheesecakedolatry would be worshipping the cheesecake. Another heresy the Sisters of Our Lady of Temperance will work to eradicate. We merely appreciate cheesecake as God intended, as a reflection of His glory and to be enjoyed in moderation. Kind of like wine, but if you want to know about wine you'd have to talk to the Brothers of Our Lady of the Grapes though I hear they're becoming a bit liberal.

[Papist]

[img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Bac_5EJ-NEE/TzgEFyVN8NI/AAAAAAAABw8/41vOlXXcS70/s1600/cheesecake.png[/img]

[EmilyAnn]

The opinion stated in that image is wrong. Also, it appears to refer to the fruit specifically not the cheesecake itself.

Your argument is invalid. I really don't know why you're even bothering to try and argue your clearly poor case, I am a Doctor of Sacred Cheesecake Theology so I will beat you every time.

[Papist]

Cheesecake needs nothing added and nothing subtracted from it. You can have your liberal, modernist Cheesecakeology. I prefer my Cheesecake traditional, just like the early Church Fathers.

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='Papist' timestamp='1333454339' post='2412256']
Cheesecake needs nothing added and nothing subtracted from it. You can have your liberal, modernist Cheesecakeology. I prefer my Cheesecake traditional, just like the early Church Fathers.
[/quote]

The topping is a part of the cheesecake. You clearly don't know enough about the early Church Fathers and cheesecake. Allow me to educate you.

Clement of Rome, 97AD

[i]And upon coming to the end of the meal, the maidservant did present unto us a cheesecake topped with the freshest berries native to the land and we did eat it gladly though not to the point of gluttony and all who were present affirmed that the cheesecake was as a true cheesecake should be to fulfil the divine purpose of cheesecake as a reflection of the glory and majesty of God in food. One guest did as such complain that the cheesecake was topped with berries but upon eating the cheesecake the heretic did realise the error of his ways and repented, recanting his heresy and vowing never to eat an un-topped cheesecake again. [/i]

Ignatius of Antioch, 70AD

[i]I went to spread the word of God among the pagans and with great horror saw that their cheesecakes were bare, with no adornment of fruit or other garnish that is appropriate to a cheesecake. I came before them and offered them a more proper cheesecake. They were hesitant but upon my insistence they nervously tasted some and at the instant that they tasted the true cheesecake they did fall down upon the ground and proclaim the glory of God. The whole town was that day baptised and through the proper cheesecake, that is one that has an adornment or garnish, God came into their hearts.[/i]

Origen, 240AD

[i]Formerly the pagans did eat their cheesecake bare, now they have their cheesecake properly adorned. Formerly their cheesecake was mere food for the body, now their cheesecake shows unto them the glory of God and the fullness of both the cheesecake and of God have been revealed to them. [/i]


Council of Nicea 1, 325AD

[i]The pagan custom of eating their cheesecake unadorned in improper for the Christian community. A true cheesecake and one that is appropriate for Christian consumption is one with some form of adornment or garnish such as berries or other fruits. The adornment in this sense must be edible, inedible decoration is equally disgraceful as none at all. An ungarnished cheesecake is an incomplete one and this is unacceptable. A proper cheesecake reflects the glory of God and honours Him, an improper cheesecake is a disgrace and leads those who consume it believing it to be a proper cheesecake to underestimate the glory of God. [/i]

Council of Trent

[i]In recent times the pagan practice of consuming cheesecake without a topping has been adopted by heretics. The Church re-affirms the proclamation of the First Council of Nicea that the consumption of such an improper cheesecake is improper for Christians and such a consumption or the false proclamation that such a cheesecake is a true cheesecake constitutes a grave matter of sin. [/i]

[Papist]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1333456352' post='2412268']
The topping is a part of the cheesecake. You clearly don't know enough about the early Church Fathers and cheesecake. Allow me to educate you.

Clement of Rome, 97AD

[i]And upon coming to the end of the meal, the maidservant did present unto us a cheesecake topped with the freshest berries native to the land and we did eat it gladly though not to the point of gluttony and all who were present affirmed that the cheesecake was as a true cheesecake should be to fulfil the divine purpose of cheesecake as a reflection of the glory and majesty of God in food. One guest did as such complain that the cheesecake was topped with berries but upon eating the cheesecake the heretic did realise the error of his ways and repented, recanting his heresy and vowing never to eat an un-topped cheesecake again. [/i]

Ignatius of Antioch, 70AD

[i]I went to spread the word of God among the pagans and with great horror saw that their cheesecakes were bare, with no adornment of fruit or other garnish that is appropriate to a cheesecake. I came before them and offered them a more proper cheesecake. They were hesitant but upon my insistence they nervously tasted some and at the instant that they tasted the true cheesecake they did fall down upon the ground and proclaim the glory of God. The whole town was that day baptised and through the proper cheesecake, that is one that has an adornment or garnish, God came into their hearts.[/i]

Origen, 240AD

[i]Formerly the pagans did eat their cheesecake bare, now they have their cheesecake properly adorned. Formerly their cheesecake was mere food for the body, now their cheesecake shows unto them the glory of God and the fullness of both the cheesecake and of God have been revealed to them. [/i]


Council of Nicea 1, 325AD

[i]The pagan custom of eating their cheesecake unadorned in improper for the Christian community. A true cheesecake and one that is appropriate for Christian consumption is one with some form of adornment or garnish such as berries or other fruits. The adornment in this sense must be edible, inedible decoration is equally disgraceful as none at all. An ungarnished cheesecake is an incomplete one and this is unacceptable. A proper cheesecake reflects the glory of God and honours Him, an improper cheesecake is a disgrace and leads those who consume it believing it to be a proper cheesecake to underestimate the glory of God. [/i]

Council of Trent

[i]In recent times the pagan practice of consuming cheesecake without a topping has been adopted by heretics. The Church re-affirms the proclamation of the First Council of Nicea that the consumption of such an improper cheesecake is improper for Christians and such a consumption or the false proclamation that such a cheesecake is a true cheesecake constitutes a grave matter of sin. [/i]
[/quote]

I seen this before.... Oh yeah, I saw this on the Association of Roman Catholic Women Priests website.

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='Papist' timestamp='1333458102' post='2412279']
I seen this before.... Oh yeah, I saw this on the Association of Roman Catholic Women Priests website.
[/quote]

They copied it from the website of the Sisters of Our Lady of Temperance. I've asked them to take it down but they refuse. I don't want correct Cheesecake theology to be tainted by association with heretics. But alas, the contemplative branch of our Sisters are offering their rosaries for their conversion.

[Papist]

[img]http://rutalkingtome.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/ernie_facepalm_by_ridinrail1.jpg[/img]

[EmilyAnn]

I win.

[i<3LSOP]

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1333462974' post='2412296']

[/quote]

Join the Sisters! You could be Prioress . . .

[i<3LSOP]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1333471736' post='2412343']
Join the Sisters! You could be Prioress . . .
[/quote]
No thanks, I'll join but I'd prefer to be a Sister who isn't in charge and goes about her way simply and quietly.

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1333475346' post='2412368']
No thanks, I'll join but I'd prefer to be a Sister who isn't in charge and goes about her way simply and quietly.
[/quote]

You need a new name then! And to decide whether you want to join the contemplative or the active branch.