Strictlyinkblot Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 I've been battling with a very strong sense of fear for about six months now. Part of the anxiety comes from the fact that I feel I shared too much about my discernment in the beginning and I was indiscreet about an order I spent time with. I have apologised for this but I now have this thought going around and around in my head that any order will reject me. I know it doesn't come from God. I want to email an order I lost contact with but I'm afraid. Any advice? I'm praying about it and I keep coming back to this particular order while my attraction to other orders is fleeting. Also, when I was in contact with them before the need to pay off my debt before I entered was stressed. Which, I do I understand but I felt at the time that I was being told to continue discerning after I paid off my debts. This is only my impression. What do you all think? Should I wait longer or should I get in contact? I think I know the answer to this already but advice would be welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Thing is, in the absence of any definite information the only option is to imagine what is going on. You don't know for definite if any of your intimations and feelings are correct - they are for the most part supposition. Feelings are not a reliable guide to action - or even inaction! I wonder if you are letting a bit of guilt over your earlier blunder get in your way? The past is another country - they do things differently there. Let your past go, start out with a new heart, screw your courage in both hands, trust Him, and FIND OUT by the simple expedient of getting in touch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) [quote name='maximillion' timestamp='1335171272' post='2422078'] Thing is, in the absence of any definite information the only option is to imagine what is going on. You don't know for definite if any of your intimations and feelings are correct - they are for the most part supposition. Feelings are not a reliable guide to action - or even inaction! I wonder if you are letting a bit of guilt over your earlier blunder get in your way? The past is another country - they do things differently there. Let your past go, start out with a new heart, screw your courage in both hands, trust Him, and FIND OUT by the simple expedient of getting in touch. [/quote] Excellent post - got my vote! It is quite human for any new venture to raise one's anxiety level and religious life is indeed quite a new venture. Undoubtedly Satan would do all that it can to prevent a religious vocation and knowing you feel anxiety anyway about something new, it is quite likely to stimulate your imagination in order to provoke negative thinking to latch on to that completely normal anxiety. And such thoughts do not exist in reality, only in imagaination. Keeping you in prayer - and do let your past go, take courage in hand, trust Him - and just get in touch with that religious order.......as posted by maximillion. Edited April 23, 2012 by BarbaraTherese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) What they said! Keeping you in my prayers PS if it's the order I'm thinking of then I don't think you were indiscreet at all. No worries! Edited April 23, 2012 by marigold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mantellata Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Prayers for you! In the community I used to be with we would also stress that applicants needed to be debt free -- it was [u]never[/u] meant to be an indication that we had a convenient out to tell the girl to keep discerning. We just didn't have the resources to pay off debts. I would contact them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strictlyinkblot Posted April 23, 2012 Author Share Posted April 23, 2012 Thanks everyone. By putting in writing that I'm afraid has helped, strangely enough. I'll send it today. Funnily enough, my order from a catholic company arrived today. They had offered a free chaplet with orders. I'd forgotten to say which one I wanted so they sent me a chaplet to Our Lady for those in need of healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 Strickly you are in my prayers. I know all too well about fear in discernment especially when you have debt which makes it hard to fully allow yourself to follow His will. As the others have said, go ahead and contact the other community (you never know until you inquire) Pax, HB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 do everything with Jesus and you know it will be his will! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strictlyinkblot Posted April 25, 2012 Author Share Posted April 25, 2012 I've just sent the email. I know, I know, I'm a major procrastinator. I'll let you know how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 Yay! Fingers crossed for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulBride Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 [quote name='Strictlyinkblot' timestamp='1335356882' post='2423126'] I've just sent the email. I know, I know, I'm a major procrastinator. I'll let you know how it goes. [/quote] Prayers Strickly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 [color=#800080][size=4][font=trebuchet ms,helvetica,sans-serif]Let nothing disturb you, Let nothing frighten you, All things are passing away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things[/font] [font=trebuchet ms,helvetica,sans-serif]Whoever has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices.[/font] -- St. Teresa of Avila [/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strictlyinkblot Posted April 25, 2012 Author Share Posted April 25, 2012 Thanks everyone. I love St. Teresa of Avila. How can you not love a saint who has such trust in the love of Our Lord that she would shake her fist at the sky and say 'If this is how you treat your friends no wonder you have so few of them'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 I know that discernment is a time of great hope but lots of anxiety. It's difficult, but try to live each day at a time, and be ready for anything (acceptance as well as rejection.) What you have said in the past, what you will say in the future, place it all in God's hands. If He is calling you into religious life, you'll get there, no matter what hurdles you place in His way! Remember Fr. Mychal Judge? He was the priest who died in the 9/11 attacks on the Twin Towers. He had a beautiful little prayer, I think it fits with those who are discerning religious life: [center][b][size=2][font=verdana][size="4"]Lord, take me where You want me to go,[/size][/font][/size][/b][/center] [center][b][size=2][font=verdana][size="4"]let me meet who You want me to meet,[/size][/font][/size][/b][/center] [center][b][size=2][font=verdana][size="4"]tell me what You want me to say,[/size][/font][/size][/b][/center] [center][font=verdana][b][size=2][size="4"]and keep me out of Your way.[/size][/size][/b][/font][/center] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PadrePioOfPietrelcino Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 My prayers are with you. May God show you the light of his path for you, and takes your fears and anxiety Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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