EmilyAnn Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I've been staying with my family for the last few weeks and I've told you all before about my mother's disapproval of my discernment. She doesn't know I'm still discerning but I've come to the decision that I have to be honest with her and tell her that I'm still discerning. Now the problem comes that I have absolutely no idea how to go about this. She's already expressed that she thinks religious life is a stupid decision, that I'd be wasting my life, that I've been brainwashed by the Catholic Church, etc. So it's not like I have a great foundation to work from here. I'm going to email the novice mistress at St. C's about the possibility of a live-in once I've moved house next month so I really need to get my mother on board so I can go. She keeps telling me she just wants me to be happy but she's making it very difficult for me. I know a lot of you have been through similar things so I'm hoping you have some advice for me! Just an addition, my mother isn't Catholic - she's a non-practicing Anglican. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Prayers, Em. I know it is hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 No real advice,but I'm praying. Do you think it would help her if you showed her what religious life looked like? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 [quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1338214253' post='2436320'] No real advice,but I'm praying. Do you think it would help her if you showed her what religious life looked like? [/quote] I think it would, I think she has all the common misconceptions about what it is from sheer lack of exposure but at the moment she's not even at the stage where she's be open to that. I wish I could get her to go to St. Cecilia's and speak to Sister Mary David, I know she and Sister would get on great, they actually have a mutual friend who went to grad school with Sister and worked with my mother (he's a very devout Catholic). But at the moment there's no chance of her doing that, but if I could make her understand what this means to me she might come around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i<3franciscans Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Many prayers for you Emily! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 Prayers for you and your mum Emily.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i<3franciscans Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I know this may not be the best advice, but remember to try not to take too much control of the situation. God understands your situation and will help you though it. I know that is kind of just stating the obvious, but sometimes that is what we need to hear the most. Good luck and again, many prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andibc Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 (edited) When our daughters were discerning they were told by their spiritual directors to not discuss it with anyone except him (they actually had different directors) and if you listen to these excellent homilies on audio sancto you'll understand why it is important to keep this between you, God and a faithful servant of God. We are so easily swayed. [url="http://www.audiosancto.org/sermon/20110821-How-to-Discern-Your-Vocation.html"]http://www.audiosanc...r-Vocation.html[/url] [url="http://www.audiosancto.org/sermon/20110320-On-Vocations.html"]http://www.audiosanc...-Vocations.html[/url] If you don't have a spiritual director or regular confessor and you are at the point of visiting orders, you will need to work something out to tell her, but avoid opening it up for discussion at this point. Discerning is a very precious thing, so keep it close to your heart. As a mom I want to mention that when my girls discussed it with me, it was extremely hard to keep my opinions to myself and I'm Catholic and was open to the possibility of a vocation in the family. I was even discouraging to some extent despite my best efforts to remain prayerfully neutral. If you enter, your discernment will continue to be private and something you only discuss with your spiritual director. Edited May 28, 2012 by andibc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 andibc: Spiritual directors are few and far between in the UK. It seems to be a fairly common practice in the US but I've never heard of it being available much here. I'd love to have one but for the moment I don't think it's possible. Thank you for those links, I'm listening to them at the moment. Did your daughters enter religious life? If they did, what was it that lead you to make your peace with their vocations? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaPetiteSoeur Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 Thank you all so much for your prayers. I really need them at the moment. I want to go on the live-in so bad, even if it tells me I'm not called to religious life or that I am called but just not at St. C's then at least I'll know and can go on from there. Now I just feel like I'm in a rut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 The only time I heard of spiritual directors there was in a brochure on being an oblate with the Ampleforth Benedictines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 Yeah it's really rare here. I have however been on my diocesan vocation website and found a phone number for someone they say to contact about discernment of consecrated life, I think he's the vocations promoter for my diocese. So I'm gonna try ringing him tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 try your hardest and pray hard. God will guide you and all things are possible though him! I'll pray for you! as padre Pio said "pray, hope and don't worry" God Bless you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted May 29, 2012 Share Posted May 29, 2012 Sometimes it's best just to "let go and let God." Do not fill your mind with worry or stress. Trust that the Lord will guide you and your mother, opening your hearts to His love. If you are meant for religious life, you will get there. I will be keeping you in prayer. May you and your mother be blessed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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