Joan Marie Wandel Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 I know God is calling me to become a nun, but I'm feeling very stressed about which order is for me..... Do any others feel this way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InPersonaChriste Posted June 3, 2012 Share Posted June 3, 2012 Start by looking into yourself. What sort of character do you have? what do you enjoy doing? This was a starting point for me in which order I should discern with. Contact the ones that fit you the best, or the ones that you are most interested. I contacted Dominicans first because I was the most interested in their order. But I am definitely NOT a Dominican. it all comes with time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joan Marie Wandel Posted June 3, 2012 Author Share Posted June 3, 2012 I visited one order so far and I felt like it was home.... I felt so comfortable being there but I also believe that i should visit other orders to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMariaPurissima Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 (edited) [quote name='Joan Marie Wandel' timestamp='1338767131' post='2440357'] I know God is calling me to become a nun, but I'm feeling very stressed about which order is for me..... Do any others feel this way? [/quote] [quote name='Joan Marie Wandel' timestamp='1338767734' post='2440362'] I visited one order so far and I felt like it was home.... I felt so comfortable being there but I also believe that i should visit other orders to [/quote] Your experience sounds a lot like mine from a couple years ago. I felt I should look into other communities, but I had a hard time being open. Once I was finally, through God's grace, able to be open, He showed me that it really was that first community that He was calling me to! Keep in mind that the primary thing God wants for us is simply that we be happy. Trust in Him, and He will guide you to where He wants you to be. Pray to Our Lady to help you. It is good to visit multiple communities, but I think that once you find "home" you'll know. Listen to your heart! I'll be praying for you! Edited June 4, 2012 by AveMariaPurissima Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joan Marie Wandel Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 [quote name='Joan Marie Wandel' timestamp='1338767734' post='2440362'] I visited one order so far and I felt like it was home.... I felt so comfortable being there but I also believe that i should visit other orders to [/quote] Why do you feel that you need to visit others? When we see lots of other people going off on 'nun runs' or writing to dozens of different convents, it can be easy for us to start thinking that we should be doing that too, as though we're looking at different colleges or trying to find the perfect outfit. But what's the point, if you've already found somewhere that feels like home? Catholic women in decades gone by never went off on such exhaustive (and exhausting!) angsty searches. In some ways ease of travel and widespread availability of information has made things easier for discerners, but in others it has complicated them far too much. Of course, you may have a good reason for wanting to check out other communities, but in that case, why the stress? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joan Marie Wandel Posted June 4, 2012 Author Share Posted June 4, 2012 So its possible to love one order and not have to look at different orders? I love the order Maryknoll and I want to stay for a longer visit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 I agree with beatitude....why give yourself a hard time if you love what you have already found. Trust Him working through the impulses of your own heart. If you are wrong it will very soon become apparent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juchu Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 The community I entered now is the first community I got to know.... But for quite some time I was in doubt if this really would be "the one".... So a friend and I planned our own nun-run with an interrail ticket through Europe.... It was great to see different charisms, different communities, to simply witness how different sisters live their love for Christ ... It was a great time and it took me a year to reflect on all this with my spiritual director.... Before finally deciding that I would ask for a live in at that very first community... Ironically also my friend did not enter one of the communities we visited, but also another one she had been to first! I think for us young people today it is our normal way of behaviour. We check out everything to find the "perfect match". We are used to doing this for education, for going shopping, for finding our soul-mate... I am sure God works in everything, also in this approach... but maybe he simply gives you the grace of having a slight feeling of belonging to the Maryknoll sisters that has to be tested by you and by them as a next step. Personally I do not regret the visits I had with the other orders! I learned a lot, about them and about me at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mantellata Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Learning about other orders is great - but without disagreeing with you juchu - sometimes the search for the "perfect match" (which doesn't exist this side of paradise) can make a young woman take a voyage on the "boat of perpetual discernment". At some point you just need to heed Christ's call and walk on water towards Him! I say this only because I know more women than I can count who are perpetually visiting but never entering -- not because they don't have vocations but because they've so confused themselves they are afraid of making the wrong choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juchu Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Maybe I need to express more clearly what I mean.... I mean that we are so "used" to finding the perfect match that we may automatically transfer this behaviour on our quest for Gods will for us... I think there is definetly no rule as "the first one is it" or "you have to visit at least 10 convents to know".... It is trusting that God works with us in ALL and everything we do. Be it that we visit 100 convents or just one... Being sensitive of how He touched my heart in a visit... if I feel at peace about it, why not after some time, ask for a live-in or a longer visit? And then to take the courage and really walk onto the water, yes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krissylou Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 If you look at some of the older sisters' vocation stories they are not always so inspiring. I read one recently where a teenage girl wanted to be a missionary. (Maybe she wanted to enter the community that has so drawn you!) Her father said that she was too young to go so far away, but if she wanted to enter the congregation of teaching sisters that was right in town, she could do that. So she did. And she's been there for decades and served God in that community joyfully and well. Not the most inspiring of vocation stories but "it's not why you enter that matters, it's why you stay." And that little story is not a full explanation of why she has stayed there for the last 50 years, I am sure. And maybe if she'd waited a while longer until Dad said she was old enough (or until Dad didn't get to make these decisions anymore) and entered the missionary order she would have loved that and also spent decades serving God joyfully and well. No way of knowing. But she seems to have ended up just fine following the path that she did follow. I don't think it's the case that there's one community out there that we are meant to enter and it's up to us to search and find it. Of course some are better fits and worse fits, and it's worthwhile spending some time discerning if Dominican spirituality or Franciscan or Carmelite has a particular draw on your heart, but if it seems as if you're finding a good fit, it may be okay to keep pursuing it. Don't beat yourself up trying to find "the perfect fit." It's not as if you'll get to the Pearly Gates and God will say "Whoops, you were really supposed to enter this community over there that you never heard of." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMariaPurissima Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Other people who have responded to this post are wiser than I. It occurs to me now that a comparison could be made to someone getting married. You don't have to discern with every single potential husband on the planet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmaberry Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 (edited) [quote name='mantellata' timestamp='1338805820' post='2440501']I say this only because I know more women than I can count who are perpetually visiting but never entering -- not because they don't have vocations but because they've so confused themselves they are afraid of making the wrong choice. [/quote] Love this--reminds me of those wedding dress shows where the bride-to-be tries on soo many gowns and ruins the joyful experience for her and whoever is shopping with her. Not a super tight analogy, but if it makes sense that we don't need to kill ourselves looking for something like a wedding dress, how much more do we need to just calm down in our search for religious orders, which God is guiding? I am sure many people have found their order after doing a lot of research, but for the most part, it doesn't seem like 'perpetually discerning' pays off more than your run of the mill average discernment experience. Although sometimes I do wish we lived in the time of St Therese, when, if you wanted to be a religious, you looked in your immediate area with the confidence that God placed the order for you within a reasonable distance, since transportation was so novel. It would sure make discernment a lot easier! Good luck on your journey. Edited June 5, 2012 by emmaberry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somethingfishy Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 [quote name='emmaberry' timestamp='1338870878' post='2441091'] I am sure many people have found their order after doing a lot of research, but for the most part, it doesn't seem like 'perpetually discerning' pays off more than your run of the mill average discernment experience. [/quote] I think you're right. I spent a few years thinking I was being a great discerner, looking at zillions of websites, visiting all sorts of convents, going on every discernment/vocations talk or retreat I could find... Then I took a year off because I got sick of it all, and that's when the community to which I'm currently applying sort of fell into my lap. Which maybe was God's way of saying, "be less of a control freak with your life, dear." Anyway, to the OP (original poster not Dominican), I think you've been given a lot of good advice. Any religious community can be a road to holiness, as long as the community is in submission to the authority of the Church and is faithfully following its charism. You don't have to make a decision now; you will have to make a decision at some point. Perhaps it would be helpful to read a book on Ignatian discernment of spirits? I read and liked [url="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10355144-how-to-listen-when-god-is-speaking"]this one[/url], by Fr Mitch Pacwa. Finally, as an accomplished worrier, I highly recommend not worrying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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