I Am In Need Of Advice

[mantellata]

Catholic theology would have it that the consecrated life did not exist before Christ - and had Christ not modeled it, and proposed it - it wouldn't be an option.

I always love your insights Antigonos --- it's good for this gentile to know her heritage --- salvation is from the Jews.

[Lil'Monster]

This is what I sent her today:



"You see I am in the beginning process of discerning Religious Life so I am new to this sort of thing. I don't really know how I can explain this but I will try. I am in love with Jesus and trying to find out how he wants me to express that love in relationship to him. I have realized that if I become a Nun, I can't ever get married and have a family. But a Nun is called to a life of being the Spouse of Jesus Christ. Physically she cannot have children but spiritually she can adopt Many children through her love, through her prayers, and through her support. On the other hand, a wife and mother physically has children and raises them to be children of God. Love can make us do crazy things, for an example, a young woman gives up everything in the world to be a Nun! That is crazy and yet so beautiful! I am not flushing the idea of marriage down the toilet but I don't think that I was called to that life. And I think marriage is so beautiful too! God calls people to marriage, religious life, or single life so they can grow MUCH more in love with Him and they will be overwhelming amounts of love, grace, joy, and peace! You may not be abled to fully understand the concept of Religious Life but that is ok! You wouldn't be the first and the won't be the last. You are not alone! Anyways, please pray for me in my discernment and for me to embrace God's Will."



She hasn't replied....

[emmaberry]

[quote name='mantellata' timestamp='1339272957' post='2442971']
Catholic theology would have it that the consecrated life did not exist before Christ - and had Christ not modeled it, and proposed it - it wouldn't be an option.
[/quote]

I thought Mary was consecrated and that's why she is a perpetual virgin? I am a newer Catholic so I might be wrong on this. Thanks!




[quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1339471306' post='2443742']
This is what I sent her today:



"You see I am in the beginning process of discerning Religious Life so I am new to this sort of thing. I don't really know how I can explain this but I will try. I am in love with Jesus and trying to find out how he wants me to express that love in relationship to him. I have realized that if I become a Nun, I can't ever get married and have a family. But a Nun is called to a life of being the Spouse of Jesus Christ. Physically she cannot have children but spiritually she can adopt Many children through her love, through her prayers, and through her support. On the other hand, a wife and mother physically has children and raises them to be children of God. Love can make us do crazy things, for an example, a young woman gives up everything in the world to be a Nun! That is crazy and yet so beautiful! I am not flushing the idea of marriage down the toilet but I don't think that I was called to that life. And I think marriage is so beautiful too! God calls people to marriage, religious life, or single life so they can grow MUCH more in love with Him and they will be overwhelming amounts of love, grace, joy, and peace! You may not be abled to fully understand the concept of Religious Life but that is ok! You wouldn't be the first and the won't be the last. You are not alone! Anyways, please pray for me in my discernment and for me to embrace God's Will."



She hasn't replied....
[/quote]

That sounds good! I am sure she hasn't replied because you gave her a lot to think about and ponder.

Edited June 12, 2012 by emmaberry

[Lil'Monster]

[quote name='emmaberry' timestamp='1339471701' post='2443749']


That sounds good! I am sure she hasn't replied because you gave her a lot to think about and ponder.
[/quote]

Thank yeah! I wrote it down in less than 20 minutes..it came from my heart. After I was done I read it to my parents which they told me that was enough to tell my friend.


True! I sure did! I don't know what to do if she comes back with even more questions.....

[Strictlyinkblot]

That's a great way to explain your discernment! I hope it all goes well with your friend. When I told my best friend she was very upset but she called me the next day and said 'I've prayed about and... Its okay. I'm with you no matter what you decide.'

[mantellata]

[quote name='emmaberry' timestamp='1339471701' post='2443749']
I thought Mary was consecrated and that's why she is a perpetual virgin? I am a newer Catholic so I might be wrong on this. Thanks!
[/quote]

Mary is always a special case. Things are always "pre-emptive" in lieu of Christ -- think about her redemption -- it was before Christ died - BUT - still because Christ died.

Mary was not a perpetual virgin because she was consecrated - but rather was a perpetual virgin because of the special mission to be Mother of God. That Mary made a vow is up for debate (and you can fall on either side of the debate and still be a good Catholic (with distinctions of course) -- however I fall on the side that not only was she consecrated to God at an early age but that she in some fashion intended to [u]give[/u] herself perpetually to God (like a vow). The consecration however was not the motivating factor but the will and the heart of the Mother since she through prayer had graced understanding - even though she still traveled in faith and did not know the full plan of God.

Of course... there are likely some Franciscans out there who would want to put forth the idea that the Immaculate Conception was the reason Mary became Mother of God .................... but then we will really hijack this thread.

[b]Little Mon[/b] - Very nice post. What is wonderful about your approach is that you aren't trying to justify your decision nor are you saying you are doing anything but discerning ( you haven't thrown marriage out) but really are just asking for prayers -- which she would be able to get behind even if she disagrees about religious life. It probably is helping you clarify your own understanding of your vocation no?

[Sister Marie]

LM - great job just speaking from the heart that was beautiful and much more touching than any amount of theological explanation would have been!

If she asks you questions just keep speaking from the heart and if you don't know the answer - be honest - it's okay not to have it all figured out right away!

[maximillion]

[quote][color=#282828]If she asks you questions just keep speaking from the heart and if you don't know the answer - be honest - it's okay not to have it all figured out right away! [/color][/quote]

Amen to that! Some of us still haven't got it figured out!

I agree that it was clearly from the heart and therefore authentic. Well done.

[savvy]

Lil Mon- It's razzle dazzle

[Lil'Monster]

Thanks


Ok she did responded with

"okay i will pray for you to know God's will. what do you mean by religious life tho? you mean being a nun? what exactly do nuns do? You dont' think you were meant to get married?"


Hmmm I got to think about it some more before I answer her. Any suggestions?

[Lisa]

Like you said, think- and pray- before answering her! Some of the advice about about explaining what discernment means (not necessarily, *poof, you're a nun*) might be helpful.

[Lil'Monster]

Yeah I don't know what to say.......

[emmaberry]

I would explain the difference between being a sister and a nun--that most religious don't pray all day, which all of my friends thought when I first told them I was discerning. Of course you know your friend more than I do, but I might tell her that nuns and sisters don't give up marriage, since they really are brides of Christ, but they do give up having an earthly spouse and family. Instead, they are spiritual mothers and have Jesus as their Heavenly Spouse. I also know a lot of my relatives think sisters/nuns are cult-like--maybe she has these concerns as well. I'd reassure her of the freedom religious have, how they can see their family, and how they are extremely joyful people. I hope she understands!

[Lil'Monster]

What is actually the difference between a nun and a sister..I forgot?


My brain is not here.....it went to asleep hours ago......hehe


I am probably gonna wait for tomorrow to answer her questions. sigh

[emmaberry]

A 'nun' is contemplative, usually enclosed, but is also a 'sister,' whereas an active sister is not a 'nun.'

Here is a link! http://anunslife.org/resources/sister-or-nun/

[Lil'Monster]

Thanks!



I need more advice though...




I think my brain took a vacation or something.......

[Kayte Postle]

Pray pray pray of course lil-nunster. =) When I kinda went through the same situation I actually used a lot of religious life videos because I felt that sisters themselves could better put into words the beauty of religious life than I could at the time. I thought that the ND's promo was a great example, it has a great balance of showing the different aspects of their lives. (Since you are looking at the dsmme's you might want to watch some of their video's and decide if those would answer some of your friends questions, and would give her a more tangible look at what you might be called to)

But always pray. The Holy Spirit will give you the words, pray and ask for Him to come fill you before you set out to answer her questions.

Praying for you my dear!!


EDIT:
(Here's that video, and I can't seem to just make it a link, so I guess you can watch it right now.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFFiNRvXBQw

Edited June 13, 2012 by Kayte Postle

[krissylou]

Well the idea that it is good for some people to forego marriage in order to be freer to serve God goes way back. Here's the relevant passage from Corinthians.

[url="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%207:8-9&version=NIV"]http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%207:8-9&version=NIV[/url]

The way that celibacy has been explained that makes the most sense to me is in terms of freedom. A spouse has a priority claim on your love. So do your children. That doesn't mean that there is no space in your life for charity outside the family, but if you're giving all your energies To Save The World and in the process not paying enough attention to your own family, you're doing it wrong. A commitment to celibacy means that you don't have other people with those (very legitimate and real and important) claims on you and so you are free to love the whole world.

When it's explained THAT way, I can get it. And I get kind of weirded out when people talk in terms of "spiritual motherhood" but that's the idea behind the "spiritual motherhood" phrase.

As to whether or not this sort of celibate love is YOUR calling, well that's a whole different question. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. And that's what you're trying to discern.

[emmaberry]

[quote name='mantellata' timestamp='1339495863' post='2443836']
Mary is always a special case. Things are always "pre-emptive" in lieu of Christ -- think about her redemption -- it was before Christ died - BUT - still because Christ died.

Mary was not a perpetual virgin because she was consecrated - but rather was a perpetual virgin because of the special mission to be Mother of God. That Mary made a vow is up for debate (and you can fall on either side of the debate and still be a good Catholic (with distinctions of course) -- however I fall on the side that not only was she consecrated to God at an early age but that she in some fashion intended to [u]give[/u] herself perpetually to God (like a vow). The consecration however was not the motivating factor but the will and the heart of the Mother since she through prayer had graced understanding - even though she still traveled in faith and did not know the full plan of God.

Of course... there are likely some Franciscans out there who would want to put forth the idea that the Immaculate Conception was the reason Mary became Mother of God .................... but then we will really hijack this thread.

[b]Little Mon[/b] - Very nice post. What is wonderful about your approach is that you aren't trying to justify your decision nor are you saying you are doing anything but discerning ( you haven't thrown marriage out) but really are just asking for prayers -- which she would be able to get behind even if she disagrees about religious life. It probably is helping you clarify your own understanding of your vocation no?
[/quote]

Thank you! That makes way more sense than what I had been thinking about her perpetual virginity before.

[Strictlyinkblot]

[quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1339551821' post='2444144']
Thanks


Ok she did responded with

"okay i will pray for you to know God's will. what do you mean by religious life tho? you mean being a nun? what exactly do nuns do? You dont' think you were meant to get married?"


Hmmm I got to think about it some more before I answer her. Any suggestions?
[/quote]

Sounds like she's a good friend. As already suggested you could show her videos about religious life or direct her towards one of the many websites out there. If sisters are giving a talk near you try to persuade her to go to it so she can ask questions directly.