(hopefully) One Last "advise Byz" Thread

[Byzantine]

For those of you just joining us as I show my incompetence (and for those of you who need a refresher), here's the scoop:

There's this girl I'd like to ask out. I've already missed several opportunities and now we're graduated seniors heading to different colleges, although neither is all that far from our hometown. So it looks like if I say anything, I have to conquer one of my bigger fears. Worse than her friends. Possibly worse than her father. It's awkward. It's unpleasant. It's - It's <Insert dramatic music here>

El Teléfono.

Et non habeo numerum eius (I tend to switch into other languages for things like this. I'm not entirely sure why).

So not only do I have to call her, I also have to get her number in the first place.

There are three ways I can see this happening:[list=1]
[*]Ask for it via email. I should email her anyway to see about getting her some pictures we ended up in together at my graduation party. Would it be weird to send an email like "Will you or any of your family be at the place I work at in the near future (it's an extremely realistic possibility) so I could hand the pictures off to you?" and add "Can I have your cell #?" at the end?
[*]Ask for it at her graduation party. We're friends, and I happened to be invited, so I suppose I could ask for it all razzle dazzle like.
[*]Unlikely event happening. This is more two scenarios, but they're both pretty unlikely.
[list=1]
[*]Ask for it at a mutual friend's graduation party. Unlikely for multiple reasons.
[*]Run into her somewhere else unplanned. Unlikely because it hasn't occurred before and undesirable because, as you have probably figured out by this thread, I like to have things planned.
[/list]
[/list]
So what do you guys think? Thanks in advance Pham! and thanks to all the people who've answered these threads before.

[eagle_eye222001]

Don's ask via email.........email may be good for many things........not this. It looks lazy.....timid.... ungentlemanly...etc

Definitely number 2. I would bet the chips on this because it's in person, and it's a nearly guaranteed event to occu that you will have a decent opportunity to ask. Make sure you ask before your running out the door though......it's bad enough you've missed earlier opportunities.....but make sure it comes up naturally when you talk to her within an hour or so of getting to the party.

_______

If this was movie.....option 3.2 definitely.....and it would appear unplanned......but in reality it would be all planned out. Harder to execute.......but more fun. Of course the logistics of knowing where she is and happening to be in the same place can be a challenge.

[arfink]

[quote name='eagle_eye222001' timestamp='1339723560' post='2444826']
Don's ask via email.........email may be good for many things........not this. It looks lazy.....timid.... ungentlemanly...etc

Definitely number 2. I would bet the chips on this because it's in person, and it's a nearly guaranteed event to occu that you will have a decent opportunity to ask. Make sure you ask before your running out the door though......it's bad enough you've missed earlier opportunities.....but make sure it comes up naturally when you talk to her within an hour or so of getting to the party.

_______

If this was movie.....option 3.2 definitely.....and it would appear unplanned......but in reality it would be all planned out. Harder to execute.......but more fun. Of course the logistics of knowing where she is and happening to be in the same place can be a challenge.


[/quote]

Yes, stalking people is challenging. Though if you can follow her on Facebook it'll be really easy to stalk her.

[eagle_eye222001]

[quote name='arfink' timestamp='1339724349' post='2444830']
Yes, stalking people is challenging. Though if you can follow her on Facebook it'll be really easy to stalk her.
[/quote]

Who said anything about stalking?????

This is partaking of The Patriotic Surveillance Act........authorized by big government in the name of national security.

Some children's heroes are firefighters, and police. Others are recon drones!

[arfink]

[quote name='eagle_eye222001' timestamp='1339724952' post='2444840']
Who said anything about stalking?????

This is partaking of The Patriotic Surveillance Act........authorized by big government in the name of national security.

Some children's heroes are firefighters, and police. Others are recon drones!
[/quote]

I always knew my hero would be a heartless machine controlled by a faceless unelected bureaucrat. Yayyyyy!

[Byzantine]

[quote name='eagle_eye222001' timestamp='1339723560' post='2444826']
If this was movie.....option 3.2 definitely.....and it would appear unplanned......but in reality it would be all planned out. Harder to execute.......but more fun. Of course the logistics of knowing where she is and happening to be in the same place can be a challenge.


[/quote]
[quote name='arfink' timestamp='1339724349' post='2444830']
Yes, stalking people is challenging. Though if you can follow her on Facebook it'll be really easy to stalk her.
[/quote]

Umm... No Facebook. Another problem.

And yeah, stalking is not a good idea.

[MissyP89]

I'm on my iPod so I can't give a full response, but say you'd like to keep in touch, and give HER your number. Then the ball is in her court.

[Byzantine]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1339732052' post='2444896']
I'm on my iPod so I can't give a full response, but say you'd like to keep in touch, and give HER your number. Then the ball is in her court.
[/quote]

Thanks! We've expressed our wanting to keep in touch a few times, so I suppose I could be like "we've said this before, so could I have your number?"

Or, would this work in an email:

"So I think I lost the invitation to your party (seriously, I might have). Would you mind emailing your address to me or text it? (insert number)"

That way there's the problem of me looking like a fool, but it also gives her more room to choose whether or not to use phones.

[Hubertus]

Dude, I've been telling you, just give her bacon.

[PhuturePriest]

Hm... This seems like something I would like to throw my weight in (Or lack thereof.), but unfortunately I must go to bed and this will take at least ten minutes for me to think through, write, edit, edit some more, make sure I do not look like I am acting as if I have experience in this field, and then finally post.

[Vincent Vega]

Is this still going on?

[Byzantine]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' timestamp='1339825721' post='2445298']
Is this still going on?
[/quote]

No. It is over. Thank you all for your patience, though.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1339958719' post='2445532']
No. It is over. Thank you all for your patience, though.
[/quote]

How did it go?

[Byzantine]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1339959202' post='2445533']
How did it go?
[/quote]

It didn't. I realized that it wasn't too good of an idea. Sorry we ended up destroying your lab and bungee jumping off Mt. Kilimanjaro for nothing.

[MissyP89]

LOLOLOL. Oh, Byz.

Good luck, buddy.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1339979467' post='2445627']
It didn't. I realized that it wasn't too good of an idea. Sorry we ended up destroying your lab and bungee jumping off Mt. Kilimanjaro for nothing.
[/quote]

Just go to some party and ask for her freakin' number. It's not that big of a deal.

[Byzantine]

[quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1339979679' post='2445628']
LOLOLOL. Oh, Byz.

Good luck, buddy.
[/quote]

Thanks. Your laughter brings a smile to my face

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1339980273' post='2445636']
Just go to some party and ask for her freakin' number. It's not that big of a deal.
[/quote]

Nah. See, thing is, considering I might be called to priesthood, I don't think that us dating is the best idea. It's probably enough stress being a priest's wife in the old country; probably more so here seeing as there aren't many. Plus (and here I'm having trouble expressing what I'm thinking, so be patient please), while I'm sure she can be a good Catholic wife and mother, I don't feel like she's of the type that would kind of be the aide (I don't feel like that's an adequate word, but that's what I've got) to the priest that I feel I should be looking for. While I suppose the idea could be had that that might change, I can see it ending up really bad if she were to try to be someone she's not. Ugh. This isn't transmitting from my mind to the computer screen right.

Lemme try again. There is in my mind this ideal of a girl who could sort of be a "mother," I guess, to a parish (supposing I were called to the priesthood). Now, I think I got pretty close to that ideal with this girl, but on further thought and prayer I don't think that it would be a good idea to pursue a relationship. I feel like I have a duty to make sure that if I'm called to priesthood and marriage, the person I marry (and hence anyone I date) ought to be of the sort who could kind of be a help there. This girl was close, but ultimately I don't think she fits that, and it would be unfair to all involved, I think, to try and make her fit that mold. So I'm just dropping it. And this still sounds bad. I wish there was a way to just dump the contents of my mind on here.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1339985062' post='2445657']
Thanks. Your laughter brings a smile to my face



Nah. See, thing is, considering I might be called to priesthood, I don't think that us dating is the best idea. It's probably enough stress being a priest's wife in the old country; probably more so here seeing as there aren't many. Plus (and here I'm having trouble expressing what I'm thinking, so be patient please), while I'm sure she can be a good Catholic wife and mother, I don't feel like she's of the type that would kind of be the aide (I don't feel like that's an adequate word, but that's what I've got) to the priest that I feel I should be looking for. While I suppose the idea could be had that that might change, I can see it ending up really bad if she were to try to be someone she's not. Ugh. This isn't transmitting from my mind to the computer screen right.

Lemme try again. There is in my mind this ideal of a girl who could sort of be a "mother," I guess, to a parish (supposing I were called to the priesthood). Now, I think I got pretty close to that ideal with this girl, but on further thought and prayer I don't think that it would be a good idea to pursue a relationship. I feel like I have a duty to make sure that if I'm called to priesthood and marriage, the person I marry (and hence anyone I date) ought to be of the sort who could kind of be a help there. This girl was close, but ultimately I don't think she fits that, and it would be unfair to all involved, I think, to try and make her fit that mold. So I'm just dropping it. And this still sounds bad. I wish there was a way to just dump the contents of my mind on here.
[/quote]

If you wanted to be a Priest all this time why did you want dating advice?

[Hubertus]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1340006620' post='2445719']
If you wanted to be a Priest all this time why did you want dating advice?
[/quote] An Eastern priest..

Byzantine, it sounds like you might have my same problem of over-thinking things when it comes to women. But do what you think is right!

[brianthephysicist]

At most of the graduation parties I went to, we would be sitting around in a big group and someone would say "Hey guys, I want to be able to keep in touch with all of you, let's make sure we all have each other's numbers!"

Forgive me if I'm making an assumption, but I believe you are fond of this girl on more than just a physical level. Regardless of whether or not you want to pursue a more intimate relationship, would it still be a good and beneficial to the both of you to pursue a friendship? Since she is somewhat close to you already and has known you for the past few years, she would be a good person to talk to about pursuing the priesthood. She might have some of the womanly advice you may need.

More unsolicited advice: I am absolutely terrified of the telephone as well, and that nearly held me back from pursuing Missy, but we worked through it. I still hate the phone, but it does get easier with time. I'm not saying you have to still ask her out, but I want you to think hard and really consider whether she really isn't the girl you want to be with or if this is just a fear of the telephone.

God bless you, Byz. I'm praying for you.