What's Your Story

[Annie12]

Thanks Maggie! Even if I sounded pessimistic in my last post, I know this is all part of God's plan. I don't know how to talk with my mom. She is just so "helpful" (if you know what I mean). If I tell her I am starting over she will say " so you don't want to be a nun." And if I don't tell her anything she will tell everyone that " she wants to be a nun". Neither of which accurately describe my current status. The fact is that right now I just don't know. Either I'm called or I'm not. So, yeah...

Ps - I'm sorry for hijacking this thread!!!!!

[mantellata]

[quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1342819735' post='2457360']
Right now she has told everyone I'm "Going to be a nun". Which to me feels incredibly presumptuous since I am after all discerning. Now I feel like if I don't become a nun everyone will think I'm a failure.
[/quote]

Nope... just young. Just correct the misconception --- sorry mom, actually I'm just discerning, trying to figure it out - more than that is jumping the gun. If other people ask - just laugh and say - yeah, I was pretty serious and I'm still seriously discerning but that's it - I'm discerning, which means I'm praying about it and trying to get God's thoughts on the matter.

You haven't committed to anything yet. If someone thinks you are a failure for having the courage to consider the possibility ... well nuts to them! They are the ones who need to grow up. They'll get over it - and there is plenty of life ahead of you. Lot's of time to grow yet.

[emmaberry]

What Mantellata said, Annie. However, I understand how you feel with not wanting to let people down. Sometimes I wonder what my parish will think of me if I don't become a nun, because it is such common knowledge. The answer is:

A) you will gain humility through the experience

or B) you become a nun

There really is no bad option here! I know it can be hard to hear this though, because it doesn't feel as black and white when you are having to deal with people's expectations of you. Praying!

Edited July 22, 2012 by emmaberry

[carmenchristi]

[quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1342819735' post='2457360']
Now I feel like if I don't become a nun everyone will think I'm a failure.
[/quote]

Annie, I know this feeling well. As I was considering whether or not to leave religious life after 8 years, I was really, really concerned about what everyone was going to think. I myself thought that it would have been a failure... to myself and before God. It was something that I had to work past. I think everyone has to work past it in some degree. It's not about what anyone thinks. And while that sounds cliche', it really is fundamental. Setting out into the deep as Jesus commands, means casting off the considerations of the world and plunging into the unknown with the faith that He will guide you. Right now you are called to discern. Everyone will have his opinion about that (which is why it's better not to be to open about your discernment, but often we learn that after it's already too late... been there, done that) and so your challenge now is to overcome how other people's opinions affect you. Eventually, you may be called to try religious life, and in that situation you will have to struggle even harder to separate yourself from what others think of you so you can truly discern. The only way you can truly "discern in" is by being completely open to the possibility of "discerning out", which means being willing to face the "shame" (which is really only hurt pride) of saying " I tried it and it wasn't God's will for me". So take courage... I've read a lot of your posts, I understand what you are going through, and having been there myself I believe that you are on the right track. Everything you are experiencing is part of the journey, stay calm, take it all in stride and focus on loving the Lord! Keep it up and you will be great at whatever you are called to!