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Lil Red

What I Wish I Would Have Known Before Watching P0rn

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4588686
Huh. She's a hot mess. But I doubt that's because of pornography. I'm not trying to be flippant. We're all hot messes at times. But most people watch pornography and most people don't totally fall apart because of it. Maybe pornography exacerbated her issues but those issues were already there.


[i][color=#282828][font='Segoe UI', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]I wish someone would have told me that the [/font][/color][url="http://www.salvomag.com/new/articles/salvo13/13hilton.php"]dopamine and oxytocin[/url][color=#282828][font='Segoe UI', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] being released from my watching certain types of pornography would cause me to question my sexual orientation, which in turn cost me relationships with friends. [/font][/color][/i]

[font="Segoe UI, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif"][color="#282828"]Even if pornography caused her to question her sexual orientation, not necessarily a bad thing, by the way, pornography didn't lead that questioning to cost her any relationships with her friends. Pornography didn't jump out of the computer and start hitting on her friends, or whatever she did. That was her. She could learn from the experience or she could transfer the blame. Looks like she choose the later. [/color][/font] Edited by Hasan

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Brother Adam
[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1343063688' post='2458138']
Huh. She's a hot mess. But I doubt that's because of pornography. I'm not trying to be flippant. We're all hot messes at times. But most people watch pornography and most people don't totally fall apart because of it. Maybe pornography exacerbated her issues but those issues were already there.


[i][color=#282828][font=Segoe UI', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]I wish someone would have told me that the [/font][/color][url="http://www.salvomag.com/new/articles/salvo13/13hilton.php"]dopamine and oxytocin[/url][color=#282828][font=Segoe UI', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] being released from my watching certain types of pornography would cause me to question my sexual orientation, which in turn cost me relationships with friends. [/font][/color][/i]

[font=Segoe UI, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif][color=#282828]Even if pornography caused her to question her sexual orientation, not necessarily a bad thing, by the way, pornography didn't lead that questioning to cost her any relationships with her friends. Pornography didn't jump out of the computer and start hitting on her friends, or whatever she did. That was her. She could learn from the experience or she could transfer the blame. Looks like she choose the later. [/color][/font]
[/quote]

Does pornography have any impact on a user?

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4588686
[quote name='Brother Adam' timestamp='1343064340' post='2458143']
Does pornography have any impact on a user?
[/quote]

Of course. I mean most obviously it stimulates and sets off all sorts of neural-chemical reactions. I'm not saying that pornography can never be harmful. I'm saying that pornography doesn't make you hit on your female friends, or whatever she did, she was pretty vague in most of her points. Sorry, but she can't push that off on pornography. Maybe it sparked the interest but she decided what do to with the interest. She made the choice to do whatever she did that cost her friendships once she started questioning her orientation. She's trying to absolve herself of personal responsibility and transfer the blame onto the pornographic boogeyman.

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Seven77
[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1343064643' post='2458144']


Of course. I mean most obviously it stimulates and sets off all sorts of neural-chemical reactions. I'm not saying that pornography can never be harmful. I'm saying that pornography doesn't make you hit on your female friends, or whatever she did, she was pretty vague in most of her points. Sorry, but she can't push that off on pornography. Maybe it sparked the interest but she decided what do to with the interest. She made the choice to do whatever she did that cost her friendships once she started questioning her orientation. She's trying to absolve herself of personal responsibility and transfer the blame onto the pornographic boogeyman.
[/quote]

Pornography is aways harmful, objectively speaking. Sure she is accountable for her actions but the pornographer is also accountable for providing harmful material.

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4588686
[quote name='Seven77' timestamp='1343067391' post='2458156']
Pornography is aways harmful, objectively speaking. Sure she is accountable for her actions but the pornographer is also accountable for providing harmful material.
[/quote]

Ok. So is alcohol. Most people use alcohol (more or less) responsibly and alcohol doesn't have a negative impact on their life. Or at least the positive impact outweighs the negative impact. But we all have the friend who because a huge, hot flooping mess mess every time they drink. And honestly those people piss me off and she seems like just that type of person. Sorry, the problem isn't porn or alcohol. The problem is (the hypothetical) you and your inability to keep your poo together. You have to go looking for porn. I think a lot of the porn industry is sleazy but it's not their fault if you cannot hold your poo together in real life if you seek out their product.

[i][b]75 million[/b]
[color=#000000][font=Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif][size=4]Average monthly unique visitors to adult [/size][/font][/color][url="http://www.thepinkcross.org/page/help-porn-addiction"]websites[/url][color=#000000][font=Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif][size=4] between 2005 and 2008[/size][/font][/color][/i]
[url="http://theweek.com/article/index/204156/the-internet-porn-epidemic-by-the-numbers"]http://theweek.com/a...-by-the-numbers[/url]

That's huge. That's almost a third of the country. Somehow the vast majority of those people are watching porn and not destroying their relationships with their friends of the same sex. So porn is not the ultimate cause here. The ultimate cause is her. her personality type and her personal issues. Different people can handle different things.

I've posted my fair share of embarrassing personal stories. But I don't come on and announce that alcohol made me sloppily make out with some girl on the dance floor. As embarrassing as that was and as much as I'd like to pretend that I bore no fault and the evil alcohol companies made me act like a hot mess the truth is that it's my fault. Same for her here.


I'm not saying that there shouldn't be more open discussion about the actual negative aspects of pornography. One big issue with abstinence only education is that then kids get their actual sex ed from porn and have grossly distorted ideas about what romance and sex is actually like. There is a lot to pornography that is far from harmless. But at the same time I really dislike people who just take something like porn and attribute to it all of their personal problems. Edited by Hasan

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4588686
[quote name='Seven77' timestamp='1343068787' post='2458163']
sorry but alcohol can used in moderation...pornography cannot. bad analogy.
[/quote]

Yes it can. Most people don't watch porn for 9 hours a day. Some people do. Those people aren't using it in moderation.

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mcts
One big difference between pornography and alcohol is the awareness that alcohol can be a problem. Everywhere you look you can find information about how dangerous alcohol can be and if you walk into any church, YMCA, or public building of any sort, you can find someone who can help you with your drinking problem. Most people don't recognize that porn is a problem, therefore people don't realize what it's doing to them, or if they do, they can't find help because they're "normal" for looking at it. Especially if you're a girl. Even in churches, the pamphlets on getting over your porn addiction are always geared towards men.

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xTrishaxLynnx
I like the fact that she is now trying to give others what she feels she was lacking in the decision making process when she decided to watch pornography.

That said, I think it's odd that she's coming at it from the very victim mentality she was warning about.

"I wish someone had talked about how women watch it too, so I wouldn't have had to spend years living under the shame that comes with being "the only one" and thinking there was something wrong with me."

There is so much wrong with this. She just finished telling us that there WAS something wrong with her, and that she wishes she'd never watched the porn... how big of a mistake it was... etc, etc. Now she's trying to say she wishes someone had made her feel normal in having watched porn. Pornography is not normal nor natural (I know most of you know this) and the shame she felt in watching it should have been her warning to quit. If she wanted to make a point about her having needed someone to talk to, that's fine, but this statement did not make that point very well.

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4588686
[quote name='Brother Adam' timestamp='1343069549' post='2458167']
The argument isn't that you can't 'watch p0rn' for 10 minutes or whatnot, but that if you do, you have committed a gravely evil act. Just as there is no such thing as beating my wife in moderation. I can slap her around for just 5 minutes a day, but it is still intrinsically evil to slap her around.
[/quote]

Well. I only jumped in this because the article was secular. If you want to declare by fiat that pornography is always and everywhere evil but alcohol isn't and you know this because Jesus told you then I really can't argue with that.

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KnightofChrist
[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1343069890' post='2458170']
Well. I only jumped in this because the article was secular. If you want to declare by fiat that pornography is always and everywhere evil but alcohol isn't and you know this because Jesus told you then I really can't argue with that.
[/quote]

Let us be real for a moment shall we? It is more likely you would have jump in even if it wasn't a secular source. Because you approve of consuming porn in so-called moderation. It is also likely you approve because you consume it, rather than manning up and admit this error which degrades you and anyone else involved with its production and consumption.

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franciscanheart
[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1343063688' post='2458138']
Huh. She's a hot mess. But I doubt that's because of pornography. I'm not trying to be flippant. We're all hot messes at times. But most people watch pornography and most people don't totally fall apart because of it. Maybe pornography exacerbated her issues but those issues were already there.


[i][color=#282828][font=Segoe UI', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]I wish someone would have told me that the [/font][/color][url="http://www.salvomag.com/new/articles/salvo13/13hilton.php"]dopamine and oxytocin[/url][color=#282828][font=Segoe UI', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] being released from my watching certain types of pornography would cause me to question my sexual orientation, which in turn cost me relationships with friends. [/font][/color][/i]

[font=Segoe UI, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif][color=#282828]Even if pornography caused her to question her sexual orientation, not necessarily a bad thing, by the way, pornography didn't lead that questioning to cost her any relationships with her friends. Pornography didn't jump out of the computer and start hitting on her friends, or whatever she did. That was her. She could learn from the experience or she could transfer the blame. Looks like she choose the later.[/color][/font]
[/quote]
I think it's disgusting that you would assume to know what she did and what she deserves. Think what you want about her (even knowing nothing of her besides what you read here), but don't assume to know what she deserves. She is hurting; her own fault or not, it's a shiitake mushroom thing to assume she deserved what she got. It's not Christ-like and it's not becoming of anyone -- especially a man.

[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1343064643' post='2458144']
Of course. I mean most obviously it stimulates and sets off all sorts of neural-chemical reactions. I'm not saying that pornography can never be harmful. I'm saying that pornography doesn't make you hit on your female friends, or whatever she did, she was pretty vague in most of her points. Sorry, but she can't push that off on pornography. Maybe it sparked the interest but she decided what do to with the interest. She made the choice to do whatever she did that cost her friendships once she started questioning her orientation. She's trying to absolve herself of personal responsibility and transfer the blame onto the pornographic boogeyman.
[/quote]
In my opinion, your mistake here is that you're assuming her friends abandoned their relationship because she made some kind of advance or other mistake. Why do you assume that because she says she [b]questioned[/b] her sexual orientation that she made an advance or in some way negatively impacted her relationships? There are people who will abandon lifelong friendships because someone does question their orientation. That's all it takes; an unease, a doubt, a question and people bolt. It happens all the time.

Do I deny that there are situations where a friend realizes they are not straight and make an advance or profess some kind of passionate love? No. I know of several who have experienced this. I also know it's not the typical situation.

There are also men in this world who believe they can hit on gay women and convert them. Doesn't make them the norm.

[quote name='Hasan' timestamp='1343068363' post='2458160']
Ok. So is alcohol. Most people use alcohol (more or less) responsibly and alcohol doesn't have a negative impact on their life. Or at least the positive impact outweighs the negative impact. But we all have the friend who because a huge, hot flooping mess mess every time they drink. And honestly those people piss me off and she seems like just that type of person. Sorry, the problem isn't porn or alcohol. The problem is (the hypothetical) you and your inability to keep your poo together. You have to go looking for porn. I think a lot of the porn industry is sleazy but it's not their fault if you cannot hold your poo together in real life if you seek out their product.

... [b]Somehow the vast majority of those people are watching porn and not destroying their relationships with their friends of the same sex.[/b] So porn is not the ultimate cause here. The ultimate cause is her. her personality type and her personal issues. Different people can handle different things.

I've posted my fair share of embarrassing personal stories. But I don't come on and announce that alcohol made me sloppily make out with some girl on the dance floor. As embarrassing as that was and as much as I'd like to pretend that I bore no fault and the evil alcohol companies made me act like a hot mess the truth is that it's my fault. Same for her here.

...
[/quote]
A couple of things.

1. If for no other reason, I would steer clear of the alcohol business seeing as we have had plenty of discussions about alcoholism here. You can believe that all people who struggle with alcohol are just flooped up poo craniums who deserve what they get, but you won't get very far here with that kind of croutons.

2. (re: bolded section above) Why do you assume only her relationships with people are the same sex were affected by her actions? She makes no distinction, but you do. A bit assumptive, don't you think?

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