Active/contemplative Or Cloistered How Do You Know Which Is For You?

[Mary's Child]

Thank you all you have been very helpful.
When I consider my personality I am very much of an introvert and quickly becoming more so. Often I have felt guilty about wanting to go somewhere quiet to pray etc after only a few hours of visiting with a friend. Also I have begun a weekly holy hour recently after it was recommended to me by a priest I spoke with, at first an hour seemed like a long time but now I usually spend at least 2 hours and dont want to leave.
One thing I wonder about is I do often need to talk to someone about problems I am experiencing and I have questions about how this would work out.

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='Mary's Child' timestamp='1345498438' post='2470811']
Thank you all you have been very helpful.
When I consider my personality I am very much of an introvert and quickly becoming more so. Often I have felt guilty about wanting to go somewhere quiet to pray etc after only a few hours of visiting with a friend. Also I have begun a weekly holy hour recently after it was recommended to me by a priest I spoke with, at first an hour seemed like a long time but now I usually spend at least 2 hours and dont want to leave.
One thing I wonder about is I do often need to talk to someone about problems I am experiencing and I have questions about how this would work out.
[/quote]

That's how I felt when I first felt my calling to contemplative life. I found myself wanting to spend more and more time in prayer. I felt that longing in my heart for a life dedicated to prayer, and when I thought and prayed about it I realised only contemplative life would fulfil that longing.

[Mary's Child]

Ok so what your telling me is I should pursue the direction of contemplative life. Yeah I was leaning that way. I was wondering about visiting any other active communitites I guess Ill put that off for now I may not visit any more of them which wouldnt bother me.

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='Mary's Child' timestamp='1345500175' post='2470832']
Ok so what your telling me is I should pursue the direction of contemplative life. Yeah I was leaning that way. I was wondering about visiting any other active communitites I guess Ill put that off for now I may not visit any more of them which wouldnt bother me.
[/quote]
It depends

For example ... (just an example) the Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ are an active/contemplative community, that are quite contemplative. They leave occasionally for apostolates (not on a daily basis).

Another community I know who also is active/contemplative have daily apostolates ... so these are two different flavors of active contemplatives.

One may be "just right" for one person, and yet "not it" for another.

For me personally when I was actively discerning (I don't even know what to call my discernment state anymore lol) I initially looked at strictly active communities, then active-contemplative communities. I entered one -- which was not the right mix of active-contemplative. The second that I entered was the right mix (but other things happened).

I *think* that I am not called to a cloistered community due to my personality. But -- I do have an ease of prayer when separated from the world (i.e. on retreat) and there is much fruit when on retreat (Maximilianus says that I am always on retreat lol).

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='Mary's Child' timestamp='1345500175' post='2470832']
Ok so what your telling me is I should pursue the direction of contemplative life. Yeah I was leaning that way. I was wondering about visiting any other active communitites I guess Ill put that off for now I may not visit any more of them which wouldnt bother me.
[/quote]

Trust your heart. Obviously no-one else can know where God is calling you, but from what you've said it sounds like you feel pulled in the contemplative direction. If you do, then it's worth giving it some thought - even if just to discover "no, this definitely isn't it". After all, you have nothing to lose.

[VeniJesuAmorMi]

[quote name='Mary's Child' timestamp='1345498438' post='2470811']
Thank you all you have been very helpful.
When I consider my personality I am very much of an introvert and quickly becoming more so. Often I have felt guilty about wanting to go somewhere quiet to pray etc after only a few hours of visiting with a friend. Also I have begun a weekly holy hour recently after it was recommended to me by a priest I spoke with, at first an hour seemed like a long time but now I usually spend at least 2 hours and dont want to leave.
One thing I wonder about is I do often need to talk to someone about problems I am experiencing and I have questions about how this would work out.
[/quote]

Please don't feel guilty about that. It's not unusual to be drawn to spend more alone time with Our Lord. It means that your listening to Him asking you to be with Him, and when we are alone with Him in prayer, whether it be vocal or silence, any time with Him also will help those you love. Its a great grace of the contemplative.

About needing to talk to someone about problems your experiencing, I can tell you by experience as I was in a cloistered community, that even though you have Reverend Mother and the Novice Mistress to talk with and help you they are not there to "replace" Our Lord. Its something to be very careful of, especially for detachment and spiritual growth. They will expect that even though you may go to them, and they are there for you for everything, that you will also have the spiritual maturity and detachment to be able to bear them in silence and go to Our Lord for your help in those situations.

Please pray for me also.

[Mary's Child]

[quote name='VeniJesuAmorMi' timestamp='1345501328' post='2470846']
About needing to talk to someone about problems your experiencing, I can tell you by experience as I was in a cloistered community, that even though you have Reverend Mother and the Novice Mistress to talk with and help you they are not there to "replace" Our Lord. Its something to be very careful of, especially for detachment and spiritual growth. They will expect that even though you may go to them, and they are there for you for everything, that you will also have the spiritual maturity and detachment to be able to bear them in silence and go to Our Lord for your help in those situations.

Please pray for me also.
[/quote]

Yes I know I need to learn to turn to Our Lord alone with the things that are on my mind. Its probably the main thing I am struggling with in my spiritual life. Do you have any suggestions for improving in this?
@ CMariaDiaz I have actually visited the Disciples of Our Lord Jesus Christ although I didnt end up getting to spend a lot of time with them since I got sick and ended up qaurantined in my room but it just didnt feel right. I have also visited several other active/contemplative communities including the Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart of Los Angeles, Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus, and the Little Sisters of the Poor. So I have really seriously looked at the more active life.

[VeniJesuAmorMi]

[quote name='Mary's Child' timestamp='1345504279' post='2470888']
Yes I know I need to learn to turn to Our Lord alone with the things that are on my mind. Its probably the main thing I am struggling with in my spiritual life. Do you have any suggestions for improving in this?
[/quote]

I struggled with the same thing and my suggestion is prayer. I believe Humilty is key here. Meditate on Our Lord and His silence during His Passion, and the same with Our Blessed Mother when She was standing at the foot of the Cross. It takes humility to be silent, and sometimes to speak also. I have found though that there is strength in suffering when it is carried in silence and nobody is aware of it. When you see the suffering as being offered to you by Our Lord so that you may show your love for Him, it actually becomes precious and initmate because its something that you share only with Jesus. In some cases then you wouldn't want it to go away! .... because you renew your fiat to the suffering He permits you to have and for as long as you have it then you pray that through it you may bear it with greater virtue and greater love for Him. Then, the more you do this it will make you detached from creatures, dependent on God alone, and you will become closer to Him. It also will help you give yourself for others in a very selfless way because you won't think much of yourself anymore, but rather how you may be able to love and please Him more.

[Mary's Child]

I really need to concentrate more on keeping silent since I have developed the habit of saying whatever is on my mind. At times it is a struggle but I have found when I ask Jesus or Mary to help me the unnecessary comments die on my lips and there is a peace. Its amazing.
Yes I have reached the point where I am doing well with suffering and accepting it without wanting it to go away. But in other cases I still find myself complaining a lot and wishing it would be over. In time I hope that I can accept any suffering peacefully and in union with Christ without wishing that things were different.
Thank you so much you have been very helpful.

[emmaberry]

Mary's Child: I read a blog that was posted on VS about a girl who discerned she was called to marriage. She said one way to discern between vocations is: when you get that itch for communion with God and spiritual nourishment, does a retreat or quiet day of prayer successfully recharge you to go into the world on fire for the greater glory of God? Through this method, she discerned her call was to marriage, because that itch that we all feel was, for her, adequately filled by retreats and things of that nature.

This method may help your discernment between active and contemplative life. When you spend your weekly time in adoration, does it fill you up adequately to go out into the world and work for His glory? I heard my calling in adoration, and immediately knew the contemplative life was the only option, because no amount of adoration and other spiritual things filled me up, so to speak. There was insatiable thirst for God. Unlike the active Dominican sisters, who describe their morning and evening schedule of prayers as fuel for their apostolate of teaching, contemplatives aren't satisfied or adequately filled by limited prayers. This is why they throw themselves into the heart of God and His Church. It is for the saving of souls, but it is also to quench the thirst for God and God alone that He places in the heart of a contemplative. When I started spending 5 hours a day in adoration, and it still was not ENOUGH, I knew I had to discontinue my degree and allow God to show me the right convent.

This refrain of 'enough' is something you will often hear contemplatives say-or more like, "not enough!" The world, lovely as it is, is just not enough for someone who has been created for the contemplative life-not to say that it is enough for the active or married, rather, it is that they often find they are sufficiently quenched by their apostolate or kids and spouse. Like I said before, this is highlighting the beauty of the contemplative life because that is all I know. I do not mean to put down the active life or married life in anything I have said. These comments are meant only to describe the overwhelming joy of the cloister.

[lmsb1231]

hello! i was with a missionary active order discerning my vocation for almost one year... and now i will be entering a cloistered order (next year). one thing that helped me discern between active and contemplative was finding out which sufferings God has given me more grace to endure for Love's sake and souls- the sufferings of active life/missionary life was a bit too stressful for me and i felt like it was "too much"- beyond the graces He was giving to me, despite my prayers asking for the graces i needed to live that life. but the sufferings particularly applicable to a cloistered nun are ones that i think God has given me more grace to endure.

also- there is the peace factor- if it's God's will, there will always be peace. and also, God will guide you through everything that happens in your life- a sermon, an inspiration during Holy Hour, Bible verse, something a person says, doors being open or shut- He'll lead you exactly where you need to be. =] ---- "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want... [b][i]He leads me [/i][/b]down paths of righteousness for His Name's sake" (Ps 23)

Edited August 28, 2012 by lmsb1231

[Mary's Child]

Emma yes what you are describing is exactly me. My weekly Holy Hour usuallu lasts for at least 2 hours. I pray the rosary, divine mercy chaplet, and morning and evening prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours, as well as reading spiritual books and the bible, and I go to daily mass at every opportunity but it still isnt enough. I love retreats etc they fill me with joy but they always seem way to short.

[Joan Marie Wandel]

I feel as though God id calling me to be a Missionary, but I know not everyone is called to this type of life. When I was in Haiti I felt so comfortable in that life style.

[inperpetuity]

[quote name='VeniJesuAmorMi' timestamp='1345501328' post='2470846']
About needing to talk to someone about problems your experiencing, I can tell you by experience as I was in a cloistered community, that even though you have Reverend Mother and the Novice Mistress to talk with and help you they are not there to "replace" Our Lord. Its something to be very careful of, especially for detachment and spiritual growth. They will expect that even though you may go to them, and they are there for you for everything, that you will also have the spiritual maturity and detachment to be able to bear them in silence and go to Our Lord for your help in those situations.[/quote]

Although it is true that the novice mistress and prioress are not there to "replace" Our Lord, I found that my problem in the cloister the first time around was the fact that I thought I was more spiritually mature than I actually was, and so I rarely went to anyone with my struggles. This resulted in some misunderstandings, misconceptions, associations, etc. Part of that looking back was my pride and the devil had a field day with it too I might add. It's important to be very open and humble once you get there and not worry too much what your superiors might think of you, but let them guide you. If your not mature enough, they'll either help you or decide it would be better for you to leave, or you'll leave on your own.

As far as how do you know whether your called to the cloister, active or non-cloistered contemplative life, well, there have been many good things said here already. In my experience even though I did consider two active communities, I always ended up being drawn back to the cloistered communities, and now I simply could not see myself in an active community.

[emmaberry]

[quote name='inperpetuity' timestamp='1346212522' post='2475601']
Although it is true that the novice mistress and prioress are not there to "replace" Our Lord, I found that my problem in the cloister the first time around was the fact that I thought I was more spiritually mature than I actually was, and so I rarely went to anyone with my struggles. This resulted in some misunderstandings, misconceptions, associations, etc. Part of that looking back was my pride and the devil had a field day with it too I might add. It's important to be very open and humble once you get there and not worry too much what your superiors might think of you, but let them guide you. If your not mature enough, they'll either help you or decide it would be better for you to leave, or you'll leave on your own.

As far as how do you know whether your called to the cloister, active or non-cloistered contemplative life, well, there have been many good things said here already. In my experience even though I did consider two active communities, I always ended up being drawn back to the cloistered communities, and now I simply could not see myself in an active community.
[/quote]

Edit: I really like what you said about NM/Prioress. I often assume that I don't need help with certain problems, and that could be a tragedy in the cloister!

If you feel comfortable sharing more about your experiences in the cloister, please pm me. If not, no worries! I deal with pride as well, and would like to know what you would change about your time there, so that I can know what mistakes to avoid for myself. Thank you.

Edited August 29, 2012 by emmaberry