How To Find A Decent Man, For Women Hoping To Marry

[MithLuin]

Just please tell me that I don't have to end up with a very quiet, subdued tech geek who thinks anime geek culture cool and does not have any interest in relating to the world outside of his own little corner (with friends, church, and work).  I know they are great guys, but sometimes I want someone else to pull me onto a dance floor, someone I can take with me on cultural excursions, and I would not miss Japanese pop music if I never heard it again. Thy cosplay no longer impresseth me.

 

Haha, whereas my worry is, 'hmmm, will a guy let me dress him up in cosplay?'

 

The socialization issue is an area where people have to be more or less compatible.  It's fine if one person draws the other one out or encourages you to do new things....but a homebody and a social butterfly probably aren't going to get along very well in the long run.  There are some people who would be content to never leave home, and others who are only happy if they're going out and having adventures.  Wanting a person whose idea of 'fun' is more or less the same as yours is fine.

 

Also...that quiet geek who's been sitting in the corner and hasn't dated a girl before? What makes you think he knows how to treat women respectfully?  For all you know, he's manipulative and addicted to internet porn.  I don't think it's a good idea to assume that guys without histories are better for your little girl.  It makes a lot more sense to look for a good, holy man....regardless of what subculture you find him in.  My sister's husband was a skateboarder when she met him - they were 18.  Not too surprisingly, he's not a skateboarder at the moment.  People tend to spill out of boxes, so if you meet the nerdy gamer who is enthusiastic about accompanying you to a museum or concert, then you don't have to worry about listening to j-pop. 

[ContemporaryCaflicCrusader]

the dating seen is something like this.  

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cK2TVIOo_fY  

[tinytherese]

1) You might not be able to change someone,  but they can always change themselves. Its not a reason to date or continue dating someone, but we all deserve a second chance. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now and it is amesome however..he wasnt originally catholic and we even debated certain aspects of faith and morality with each other. Had I given up on him then I wouldnt be the happy girl I am now. But if course I didnt change him, but the Holy Spirit did. People can change but they need to do it for the right reasons.

 

That's good for you, but I'd caution anyone from entering a relationship expecting the other person to change. Maybe it will happen, but that isn't always the case.

 

I had a conversation with my mom about how sometimes (usually a woman,) will date a guy that treats her awful or who has something about him that she just doesn't want to put up with thinking "I'll change him," and it becomes obvious that the guy won't change or if he will it will be a very long time before he will and that he needs help from a therapist at that. (Please know that I'm not saying that you're in this type of relationship, but that someone who is could read into your situation that way.) I've heard this referred to as "missionary dating."

 

I used to date a guy who was codependent and tried being friends with him afterwards, but it became aparent that he wouldn't change.

 

I've learned that if you can't accept a guy for who he is then don't date him.