PhuturePriest Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 So I just got off the phone with Emily. It was our second phone call, and it was nice. Right after I got off the phone I went on Facebook. I saw a message from my brother-in-law (Not Michael, his brother). He is friends with Emily's sister, Gina, and apparently he just got off the phone with her. Apparently he talked to her about how much I liked Emily, and Gina told him that Emily had a boyfriend. Needless to say I'm not taking that well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 So I just got off the phone with Emily. It was our second phone call, and it was nice. Right after I got off the phone I went on Facebook. I saw a message from my brother-in-law (Not Michael, his brother). He is friends with Emily's sister, Gina, and apparently he just got off the phone with her. Apparently he talked to her about how much I liked Emily, and Gina told him that Emily had a boyfriend. Needless to say I'm not taking that well... OK so it sounds like Emily was not on the same page with you about your friendship. This often happens among young people. When she's more grown up she'll know better what she's doing. I'm sure she doesn't realize she was leading you on. I know it hurts, but when they say there are more fish in the sea, it is not just a cliche, it is true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 OK so it sounds like Emily was not on the same page with you about your friendship. This often happens among young people. When she's more grown up she'll know better what she's doing. I'm sure she doesn't realize she was leading you on. I know it hurts, but when they say there are more fish in the sea, it is not just a cliche, it is true. I don't want to blame it on her. She never said anything directly to me to lead me on, I just thought she was really nice and liked her. For some reason I feel like it is my fault, and I know that's ridiculous. I know. But I'm not giving up on her. We're sixteen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightofChrist Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Giving up on her may be better than not doing so. Women have the perplexing ability to do and think the complete opposite of whatever you think they may do or think. So not giving up on her may have adverse effects, while ignoring her a little would do the exact opposite of what you think it would. But then again who knows womens are crazy and unpredictable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ed Normile Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 What if you are the boyfriend she was talking about ? ed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 That'd be like my best friend (a guy) who, yes, I "like" telling me he started dating one of our friends. Punch in the gut. Except, our families are on the same page about dating (or at least similar pages), and that we're on the same page (and open with each other) about our discernment. Praying for you, cause that pretty much sucks. The piece of advice I'd suggest to you is to back off a little. If she's in a significant relationship with another guy, I wouldn't think it's a bright idea to be actively pursuing her. Just as if a girl was in serious, serious discernment. Or for me, if a guy was about to enter seminary. It's just a no-no. Sure, stay friends with her, but I'd back off a little. I'd say talk to her about it, but I am clueless as to how you'd even go about that. Praying for you. I'll offer my trip leaving the house (the 5th time after surgery, and car rides can be really hard) tomorrow for you. What if you are the boyfriend she was talking about ? ed I hadn't thought of this. Like if she was open that she really, really liked FP. But then again, you'd think the sister would know that if that was the case... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kateri89 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Giving up on her may be better than not doing so. Women have the perplexing ability to do and think the complete opposite of whatever you think they may do or think. So not giving up on her may have adverse effects, while ignoring her a little would do the exact opposite of what you think it would. But then again who knows womens are crazy and unpredictable. Hahaha come on now not all women are irrational. I'm a firm believer in being boldly honest about things instead of beating around the bush and I'm a woman. Granted, sometimes I could be honest with a touch more gentleness and tact but that's another story. As for the original post, if it makes you uncomfortable to say anything to her right now, that's okay but don't sit on the sidelines waiting for them to break up. Like you said, you're only 16 so there's plenty of time for that to happen anyway. Just make sure that you're getting the right info because hearing stuff like that through the grapevine isn't always accurate. If she is with someone else, I would suggest one of two options: 1) Tell her the truth about how you feel, or 2) Set your sights on someone else (or be happy being single). In my opinion, it's not worth it to sit around unhappy with the situation but unwilling to change it. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but in my experience it's always better to move forward. Best of luck! :like3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 That'd be like my best friend (a guy) who, yes, I "like" telling me he started dating one of our friends. Punch in the gut. Except, our families are on the same page about dating (or at least similar pages), and that we're on the same page (and open with each other) about our discernment. Praying for you, cause that pretty much sucks. The piece of advice I'd suggest to you is to back off a little. If she's in a significant relationship with another guy, I wouldn't think it's a bright idea to be actively pursuing her. Just as if a girl was in serious, serious discernment. Or for me, if a guy was about to enter seminary. It's just a no-no. Sure, stay friends with her, but I'd back off a little. I'd say talk to her about it, but I am clueless as to how you'd even go about that. Praying for you. I'll offer my trip leaving the house (the 5th time after surgery, and car rides can be really hard) tomorrow for you. I hadn't thought of this. Like if she was open that she really, really liked FP. But then again, you'd think the sister would know that if that was the case... It really is a hard punch. I liked her so much. I even sent her a flippin' gift. What is she going to think when she sees that? And when I had just found out about it I guess I was kind of numb and not thinking right, because I then asked Emily if she wanted to hang out sometime in January. *Head desk* Thank you so much for everything. I'll be sure to not pursue her in the same way. I'm just going to be friends, and whatever happens, happens. I'd love nothing more than to have faith in this idea, but I just can't. Besides, Rick was talking to her about me. If it was me he would have said that. But he told me specifically because she is dating someone else. Hahaha come on now not all women are irrational. I'm a firm believer in being boldly honest about things instead of beating around the bush and I'm a woman. Granted, sometimes I could be honest with a touch more gentleness and tact but that's another story. As for the original post, if it makes you uncomfortable to say anything to her right now, that's okay but don't sit on the sidelines waiting for them to break up. Like you said, you're only 16 so there's plenty of time for that to happen anyway. Just make sure that you're getting the right info because hearing stuff like that through the grapevine isn't always accurate. If she is with someone else, I would suggest one of two options: 1) Tell her the truth about how you feel, or 2) Set your sights on someone else (or be happy being single). In my opinion, it's not worth it to sit around unhappy with the situation but unwilling to change it. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but in my experience it's always better to move forward. Best of luck! :like3: I agree. I think it might be better to tell her. But I fear it may make things weird for her. At the very least I want to stay friends with her. I feel really hurt, but that's not her fault and I could never be angry with her, especially not this. When the time is right I may tell her, or maybe she will even mention it. You never know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 When I met my wife she had a boyfriend of 4 years. When my favorite professor at FUS met his wife, she was engaged and on a date with her fiance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 When I met my wife she had a boyfriend of 4 years. When my favorite professor at FUS met his wife, she was engaged and on a date with her fiance. Yeah. I think I'm going to call and talk to her about this tomorrow. Hopefully she will still want to stay friends, but if not, then life sucks, I guess. It sucks enough right now, it can't get much worse anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 It really is a hard punch. I liked her so much. I even sent her a flippin' gift. What is she going to think when she sees that? And when I had just found out about it I guess I was kind of numb and not thinking right, because I then asked Emily if she wanted to hang out sometime in January. *Head desk* Thank you so much for everything. I'll be sure to not pursue her in the same way. I'm just going to be friends, and whatever happens, happens. I'd love nothing more than to have faith in this idea, but I just can't. Besides, Rick was talking to her about me. If it was me he would have said that. But he told me specifically because she is dating someone else. Wise idea. Sorry you hurt so bad, dude. Oh, and it's no problem, I could always use intentions to offer some of my recovery for. Yeah, I wouldn't put too much into the idea that the boyfriend is you. I mean, at least to me it seems like there's a 99.99% chance it isn't you. Let us know how everything goes. Although, I'm sure I didn't need to tell you that. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yeah. I think I'm going to call and talk to her about this tomorrow. Hopefully she will still want to stay friends, but if not, then life sucks, I guess. It sucks enough right now, it can't get much worse anyway. Geez, now that is taking it like a man. I am impressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 Wise idea. Sorry you hurt so bad, dude. Oh, and it's no problem, I could always use intentions to offer some of my recovery for. Yeah, I wouldn't put too much into the idea that the boyfriend is you. I mean, at least to me it seems like there's a 99.99% chance it isn't you. Let us know how everything goes. Although, I'm sure I didn't need to tell you that. ;) It's okay. I'll get over it. I messaged her and asked if she had time for a quick phone call tomorrow because I needed to talk about something important. I've probably practiced what I am going to say nine million times. There is one part I am thinking of editing out which will be the bolded parts. The conversation in its entirety goes something like this: *After we have said hello and everything* "So, as I said, I really need to talk to you about something. So mainly I want to apologize for everything. I think it would be best to first explain what I mean. When I talked to you at the wedding, I was completely blown away. To put it as honestly as possible, I walked in the hall 100% certain I was called to become a Priest, and I walked out of it with my world completely upside-down. I started talking to you on Facebook and called you on the phone because I really liked you as a friend, but also because I wanted to hopefully one day become something more than friends. After our phone call last night, I went on Facebook and Rick messaged me. Apparently he had talked to Gina about it and she said that you were dating. I am so sorry; I had no idea that you were dating. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable in any way. I want you to know that I still want to be friends and I would love to keep talking to you on the phone and everything, and as I said last night I would still really like to hang out sometime in the near future. I hope this doesn't change everything." If you think there are parts I should change then let me know. I don't want to say anything wrong, especially with something as crucial as this. I still want to stay friends. And it isn't me. I went on her Facebook profile and it said she was in a relationship. She wouldn't do that unless she was really in a relationship. And haha, yeah. Trust me, you can bet money that I will tell you guys how it goes. Geez, now that is taking it like a man. I am impressed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvltzwkUEEA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 Haha. But really, I don't think this is me taking it like a man. I'm just doing what I feel is right. Do I have second-thoughts about asking her to talk tomorrow? Most certainly. But it's a risk I have to take. Most likely she will want to stay friends and everything will be fine. But it's worth the risk of her not wanting to. Or this is what I keep telling myself, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now