Temptions While Dicerning

[Annie12]

NO I haven't been on a retreat. I'm still waiting to hear from the sisters!

[petitpèlerin]

A couple years ago I actually got to know a guy who I thought was really cute (and had a great personality), and we became friends, but I was thinking, wow if I was called to marriage, I would love to go out with him... and lo and behold, a year later he became a Dominican. XD  And I find him even more attractive now in his habit, but as a brother obviously.

 

Wow. Great story. I've heard so many little stories about people who dated each other only to break up (amicably) when one pursued a higher calling, and in the end the other did too. Which makes me wonder if it's common for people with religious vocations to be drawn to each other when they're young and before they have the whole vocation thing sorted out.

[savvy]

 

Which makes me wonder if it's common for people with religious vocations to be drawn to each other when they're young and before they have the whole vocation thing sorted out.

 

I think it is. This guy I had a crush on told me I reminded him of St. Therese of Lisieux, he is now in the seminary! I have four friends in fact now in the seminary, and one of them is being ordained in May.

 

I do connect with guys who are discerning, in ways that I do not with those who are not, they have become my brothers in Christ.

 

 

 

[Annie12]

My biggest problem right now is that in my feeling God is calling me to religious life, I feel imposed upon. like, God is picking on me. I know this is not the case and I am probably a really bad person for felling this way because God is SO good. But, while I feel called, I really want to get married and have kids and have a "normal life". I really want the best of both worlds right now.I want to give my heart to God but I also want a family. And, this is causing a big interior struggle for me. I don't know what to choose!

[savvy]

 

 

My biggest problem right now is that in my feeling God is calling me to religious life, I feel imposed upon. like, God is picking on me. I know this is not the case and I am probably a really bad person for felling this way because God is SO good. But, while I feel called, I really want to get married and have kids and have a "normal life". I really want the best of both worlds right now.I want to give my heart to God but I also want a family. And, this is causing a big interior struggle for me. I don't know what to choose!

 

I have been through this stage, because God showed up in my life, at a time when I was not looking for him, and began to pursue me. The best thing is not to worry, just take your time, and pray, that God will lead you where he wants.

 

 

[Kylie Spinelli]

This is a struggle for me as well, as I am a very affectionate person, and can be led astray sometimes (although not TOO far!!!) by a little bit of physical affection. I'm trying to stay focused on my discernment, but it is difficult. Any prayers you guys like to use when these moments arise? Also would you advise that we stay away from physical affection (hugging, cuddling, etc. NOT sex or making out!!) ?? Not sure how to handle this sometimes, and I guess you guys may have been doing this longer than I. :)
God bless!

[Annie12]

sorry - double post!

Edited February 8, 2013 by Annie12

[Annie12]

I AM SO HAPPY! I'm OVER MY TEMPTATION!!!!  I had an AMAZING day! Mass, confession (yay! for confession!), AND the Sisters got back to me!!!! YAY!!!! I'm gonna set up a phone appointment! I'm SO excited right now!

 

I was still struggling with this temptation really bad until last night when I was watching a video and it showed scenes from the passion of the Christ. When they got to the Scene when they were driving the nail through Jesus' hand, I fell in love all over again! It was a total grace! I realized how much God loves me and I just couldn't live with myself if I chose myself over God. :saint2:

[Maggyie]

My biggest problem right now is that in my feeling God is calling me to religious life, I feel imposed upon. like, God is picking on me. I know this is not the case and I am probably a really bad person for felling this way because God is SO good. But, while I feel called, I really want to get married and have kids and have a "normal life". I really want the best of both worlds right now.I want to give my heart to God but I also want a family. And, this is causing a big interior struggle for me. I don't know what to choose!

 

Annie, everything you are describing is normal! When someone says "I am discerning religious life" that is not the same as saying "I am called to religious life." It means you are figuring things out. Many women spend years in the convent or monastery, even taking temporary vows, and then discern out. Others marry, raise families and then after being widowed discern a call to religious life. Truly discernment is a lifetime journey. God wants your future but most of all He wants your today, so just focus on discerning what His will for this day is. Not substituting your will for His but simply being still and listening for his voice in your heart.

 

God sees everything you are going through and loves you! Your sincere, eager desire for God's will is pleasing to Him, probably even more so than making the "right" decision would be. If you keep that as your focus, you will be bear much fruit for the kingdom of God, no matter what path you take.

[savvy]

 

I AM SO HAPPY! I'm OVER MY TEMPTATION!!!!  I had an AMAZING day! Mass,confession (yay! for confession!), AND the Sisters got back to me!!!! YAY!!!! I'm gonna set up a phone appointment! I'm SO excited right now!

 

I was still struggling with this temptation really bad until last night when I was watching a video and it showed scenes from the passion of the Christ. When they got to the Scene when they were driving the nail through Jesus' hand, I fell in love all over again! It was a total grace! I realized how much God loves me and I just couldn't live with myself if I chose myself over God.  :saint2:

I learnt something at an inner healing retreat I went too, that every time you confess a sin, it opens up a pathway in your life, to be blessed in that area. 

 

This is why pray and confession are important, to experience breakthrough and freedom.

 

 

 

 

Edited February 8, 2013 by savvy

[MarysLittleFlower]

Certainly what everyone else said about becoming a sister or a nun is also a state of motherhood. :)

 

I remember the documentary "The Nun" about a girl named Marta who was preparing to enter Carmel. At the beginning of the film she starts talking about how the most difficult part for her in this way of life is the spiritual aspect of chastity and how having a solitary heart, they (the nuns) leave that for God to fill.

 

I think she answered a question that many discerning the religious life have. When you have the grace of a vocation, you will find that there will be nothing lacking and that you will be fulfilled because God fills the heart completely with Himself when it is given to Him alone. So really how could we find that anything would be missing? We know He is the source of all life, grace, and blessing for every state of life so if He has our hearts completely I don't think we will ever find that anything is lacking or that we would be missing out on anything; because we have Him alone Who is the giver of all good things. Let Him be your only source of happiness and joy. :)   

 

I think this is very true! :heart:

 

to the OP:

 

I also think that if someone is discerning religious life but sometimes feels drawn to marriage or has 'romantic' or even impure thought temptations about people of the opposite sex - that doesn't mean they don't have a religious vocation, because we don't always feel it ALL the time, sometimes we get distracted, etc. I read in a discernment book that what matters is how you feel when you are close to God! do you have peace then about your vocation? regarding everything else, if you're also drawn to marriage that could be a natural thing, or it could be an indication of a vocation, and of course if you get tempted with any impure thoughts then they should be rejected in any case. Hope that helps :) just my pov!

[TIWW]

When I was discerning religious life, both my spiritual director and the psychologist who did my vocational testing said in different ways, that if you would not make a good wife and mother, you would also not be good nun material.   The qualities of loving charity,  commitment, compassion and forgiveness, among others are necessary in both vocations.