Hey, I'm Back To Vocation Station!

[Annie12]

Hey everyone,

 Some pretty crazy things have happened recently which makes me think that I'm called to religious life. First off the guy I was crazy about all year turns out to be going into the seminary. Secondly another guy who I thought liked me turns out to like another girl AND, I have been having a weird craving for religious life lately. It's weird. It feels like that is the only place I can find peace. Now, to my dilemma. I could stay at my school which is really hard and quite grueling in school work and risk failing out or I could go to community college next semester and get my associated degree, pay off my loans and join the convent (if it is Gods will). If I stay at my current school, it's likely that I will be distracted from my discernment by guys who seem to be always hitting on me. And, if I go to community college for a year, I would be able to spent a good deal of time discerning without as many distractions. So, I'm not sure if any of you have any insights on this matter but I'm sure you all have much more experience and advice to offer me than I have for myself.

[TheLordsSouljah]

My dear, it is ridiculously good to have you back again. We've missed you!!! :smile3:

[FutureSister2009]

I wish I could just leave my school and get my associate's degree. My school has been so grating lately.

[Lilllabettt]

You are dealing with two separate issues - academic career and vocation. And I would try to keep them separate.  Because I don't think being unlucky in love is a sign of a religious vocation ... so I wouldn't make any decisions about your academic career based on that.  I don't think the "too distracted" to discern thing is a good argument to leave/change schools. There are temptations and distractions whatever you are doing in life.  The decision to continue at your current school is a separate thing ...  If you are not experiencing success than you should do what you can to fix that,  and that might mean transferring, or staying and changing your major, getting a tutor, etc.

 

 

 

 

[Annie12]

You are dealing with two separate issues - academic career and vocation. And I would try to keep them separate.  Because I don't think being unlucky in love is a sign of a religious vocation ... so I wouldn't make any decisions about your academic career based on that.  I don't think the "too distracted" to discern thing is a good argument to leave/change schools. There are temptations and distractions whatever you are doing in life.  The decision to continue at your current school is a separate thing ...  If you are not experiencing success than you should do what you can to fix that,  and that might mean transferring, or staying and changing your major, getting a tutor, etc.

 

You have a good point about keeping the career and vocation separate. I can see that. What I am unsure of though is if God is calling me to religious life or not. If I knew that he for certain was (or was at least pretty darn sure) I would drop everything to follow him. But, I'm not sure because I just don't know where to begin. I feel a gravitation towards religious life but also towards being a mom. so, Im thinking this is just something time will show me.

[Nunsense]

You have a good point about keeping the career and vocation separate. I can see that. What I am unsure of though is if God is calling me to religious life or not. If I knew that he for certain was (or was at least pretty darn sure) I would drop everything to follow him. But, I'm not sure because I just don't know where to begin. I feel a gravitation towards religious life but also towards being a mom. so, Im thinking this is just something time will show me.

 

 

St Ignatius would tell you that if you are unsure of your decision, continue on the same path that you have been walking until you are sure about something. Moving for no reason except confusion is counter productive.

[Maggyie]

I agree with nunsense. When you're not sure of where you stand, make no sudden moves.

[OnlySunshine]

You have a good point about keeping the career and vocation separate. I can see that. What I am unsure of though is if God is calling me to religious life or not. If I knew that he for certain was (or was at least pretty darn sure) I would drop everything to follow him. But, I'm not sure because I just don't know where to begin. I feel a gravitation towards religious life but also towards being a mom. so, Im thinking this is just something time will show me.

 

This is really not a good reason to leave school, though.  If you were seriously discerning an order and were thinking of applying to enter, that would be a different story.  It's never a good idea to leave a job or school without a backup plan.  Like Lilllabettt said, if you are having issues with academic success, there are ways to resolve that such as finding a tutor or making sure you have the top teachers in your school.  I struggled HARD in my beginning years but now, I am making straight As.  If I can do it, you can do it!

 

My advice is to stay at your school and get a spiritual director.  You've been going through some rough decisions lately -- flipping back and forth from marriage to religious life -- and it's never a good idea to make a hasty decision.  Pray about it.  Ask for advice from a spiritual director and see what they say.  ;)

Edited May 5, 2013 by MaterMisericordiae

[Annie12]

Okay! Fair enough! This is all great advice! Thanks so much!

[Sister Marie]

Hey everyone,
Some pretty crazy things have happened recently which makes me think that I'm called to religious life. First off the guy I was crazy about all year turns out to be going into the seminary. Secondly another guy who I thought liked me turns out to like another girl AND, I have been having a weird craving for religious life lately. It's weird. It feels like that is the only place I can find peace. Now, to my dilemma. I could stay at my school which is really hard and quite grueling in school work and risk failing out or I could go to community college next semester and get my associated degree, pay off my loans and join the convent (if it is Gods will). If I stay at my current school, it's likely that I will be distracted from my discernment by guys who seem to be always hitting on me. And, if I go to community college for a year, I would be able to spent a good deal of time discerning without as many distractions. So, I'm not sure if any of you have any insights on this matter but I'm sure you all have much more experience and advice to offer me than I have for myself.

Hi Annie! It's nice to see you around again!

I agree with what was already said about not making decisions when in a state of confusion and I just wanted to recommend two books that might be able to help you discern how you are discerning... If that makes sense. Discernment of spirits and the examen by father Timothy Gallagher are simple but very practical guides on ignatian spirituality and discernment. Discernment shouldn't be an exercise in chaos. It should be a process where one looks to the light of Christ to guide their life and weighs everything in light of that so that each decision is a peaceful and prayerful movement toward God. (even the best discernment is not always correct but thankfully our God uses our mistakes as well as our successes to bring us closer to him.)

You have a lot of different things going on from reading this post: academic issues, distractions, and situations with different guys. I think nunsense already answered well about the academic issue but I hope you don't mind if I offer some perspective on the other parts from the point of view of a religious.

I'm guessing you are in your early 20s right now since you are in college. Most people in their twenties are trying to find the,selves in one way or another- that's why you can't rely on anyone's life decisions to be indicators of your decisions. The fact that the guy you were dating decided to go to the seminary has nothing to do with whether you should be married, single, religious ... Your relationship with him is important because each relationship we had with another person affects who we are. His decision shouldn't affect yours.

This last part I can promise you... You will never be free of distractions. Right now it's guys hitting on you. In the convent it will be something else. If you get married it will be something else too. Attraction to the opposite sex isn't a distraction in the negative sense of the word all the time either... It's natural and it doesn't go away when someone enters the convent. God often speaks to us in the midst of distraction and through what we see as distraction.

I hope some of this was helpful. I don't know if you have a spiritual director but you would greatly benefit from one if it is a possibility for you.

Peace and blessings,
SM

[Annie12]

Thanks Sister! Just to clarify though I never dated the guy who's entering the seminary. I was just crazy about him. He was a friend and I basically never stopped praying for him. I was nuts. Its in the past now and I look back and feel embarrassed about it but yeah I was literally crazy about him.

[Sister Marie]

Thanks Sister! Just to clarify though I never dated the guy who's entering the seminary. I was just crazy about him. He was a friend and I basically never stopped praying for him. I was nuts. Its in the past now and I look back and feel embarrassed about it but yeah I was literally crazy about him.

Thanks for clarifying, sorry for the confusion. Either way though, his decision is not an indicator of what yours should be. :)

[Gabriela]

I agree with all above. Your OP made it sound like you were re-considering religious life just because some guys you were into weren't into you. But that doesn't mean you're not called to marriage—to someone else. If you want to know whether you're called to marriage or religious life, you need to discern that independently of your relationship with other human beings. You need to discern it in the context of your relationship with God.

 

So, yeah: Father Gallagher's books, staying the course till you feel clear and certain, and an SD.

 

Good luck, Annie12. :-)

Edited May 5, 2013 by curiousing

[Spem in alium]

I agree with what was already said about not making decisions when in a state of confusion and I just wanted to recommend two books that might be able to help you discern how you are discerning... If that makes sense. Discernment of spirits and the examen by father Timothy Gallagher are simple but very practical guides on ignatian spirituality and discernment.

 

Definitely check Fr Gallagher out. I read his book "Discerning the Will of God" a couple of months ago and found that it really helped me. You may want to have a look at it also. Best of luck, Annie :) Prayers, too!

[the171]

Annie. Get an SD.

[PhuturePriest]

I definitely second the171's advice. I was such a mess in terms of discernment before my spiritual director. I was all about feelings with no intellectual thought. My spiritual director is such a practical man, and he taught me the value of thinking about things through and not jumping straight into things. I'm definitely still learning, but he has been so proud of me recently in my discernment, and that really means a lot to me. Spiritual directors help you in your discernment, are someone you can look up to as a role model, and preferably even become a good friend like mine has. You could benefit so much from having one. Everyone could, discerning or not.

[To Jesus Through Mary]

Annie. Get an SD.

 

Yes. Seriously. I really cannot stress this enough. With all the confusion you have going on with your discernment, you should really speak with someone who is equipped to handle this and would know the whole situation. St. Ignatius does give us awesome rules to live by (And I try to use them on a daily) and he also tells us we need an SD. So with the others I echo, make no change during a time, and speak with an SD before making a rash decision. 

[Sister Marie]

One of the things I find most helpful about spiritual direction is that my director, a sister from a different community, helps me remember. Remembering is a very important part of discernment. How has God spoken to me before? What did he say? If you are anything like me, you MIT go in circles, relearning and re-experiencing the same things again and again because they just didn't stick. Often my SDwill remind me of how wonderfully God has worked before and also of how I have failed before. Annie, every time you post it seems to be the same dilemma. I'm not criticizing you, I do the same thing, it's human nature to operate in one way. God is probably trying to call you out of that into more trust and growth but often,at least in my case, we need a companion to help us- a spiritual director. Don't waste anymore time without one if you can help it. I'll pray you can find someone!

[Gabriela]

BTW, Annie12, I don't know where you live, but if there are any cloistered Passionists around, they often offer spiritual direction. Just in case you don't know where to look, I thought I'd mention it!

[vee]

go to community college