Kateri89 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 What have been some of your better moments and tougher moments in your discernment process? For instance, right now I'm focusing on my career and still discerning but in a more relaxed way. What I mean is, the community I'm most interested in right now is the Missionaries of the Poor (female branch obviously) but I don't have any vacation time left this year so I can't go on a mission trip with them until next year. Since that's the case, I'm starting to feel anxious about my discernment because hypothetically, if the M.O.P. Sisters aren't the right order for me, I'll have to wait even longer to go on another retreat with another order and even though I'm not close to the cutoff age for communities, I'm also not right at the beginning either and time seems to be flying. I realize I'm jumping the gun here and that it's silly of me to be planning on having to find yet another community to discern with but it's just one of those low points in my discernment. I'm not feeling depressed about it or anything, just blah...I feel like it's never going to happen. I've had better moments in discernment too though so I'm hoping I'll have more of those. We need the low points to strengthen our relationship with Christ and Mary so it's all good. I'm just curious to hear about these high and low points in other peoples' discernment (unless of course it's too personal and I'm prying). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I really feel what you've said, and I appreciate you sharing what you have. I am living this year in active discernment and it's definitely had a mixture of high and low points. Many of my high points have been associated with a realisation of the Spirit's presence - feeling at home in a particular place, recognising something new about myself or about God, experiencing new emotions and thoughts, or simply just feeling loved by the Lord. Conversely, I suppose many of my low points have resulted from not feeling the Spirit, particularly at times when I really wanted to. Those times are hard, but they remind me to be patient and to trust God. All my experiences in discernment, whether good or bad, have been a blessing. Not once during my teenage years did I expect to be considering religious life, so it's all new and exciting to me. It's been a very vibrant year so far! I'll be keeping you in prayer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I think your situation is particularly difficult, SrKateri, because it's as if the demands of your present life are preventing you from exploring possible future lives. That really sucks. I'm in the same situation. I have loads of "vacation" time (all unpaid), but I don't have a car or any money (UNPAID vacation, hey...). It feels as if it slows the whole thing down. And in the meantime, I wonder and wonder and wonder. It's a form of torture, really. But it's also not. Because not very deep down I know perfectly well that I tend to rush things (Understatement of the Year), and that God will get me to the places I need to try out WHEN I need to try them out. I've said on here before that my SD is fond of saying, "God is never late. [long pause] But He's never early, either." To answer your question: Honestly, the hardest times in my discernment are when God pulls a total 180 on me. Like when, after months of actively thinking I was not discerning religious life, all of a sudden, I realized I was, and burst out crying (in front of a strange priest). Or like the other night, when out of the blue I sent a vocation inquiry to an active order, even though I've been discerning contemplative life for over a year, and as soon as I hit 'Send', I burst out crying. Enter my SD again: "When you can't figure out why you're crying, it's probably the Holy Spirit turning on the waterworks." He's a quotable guy. ;-) High points? I don't know that I've had any so far. That feeling of exhilaration one gets when one first discovers an order or house that seems supernaturally attractive is probably the best I've got. So far, though, none of those has borne fruit. Mostly because I don't have a car! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 What have been some of your better moments and tougher moments in your discernment process? For instance, right now I'm focusing on my career and still discerning but in a more relaxed way. What I mean is, the community I'm most interested in right now is the Missionaries of the Poor (female branch obviously) but I don't have any vacation time left this year so I can't go on a mission trip with them until next year. Since that's the case, I'm starting to feel anxious about my discernment because hypothetically, if the M.O.P. Sisters aren't the right order for me, I'll have to wait even longer to go on another retreat with another order and even though I'm not close to the cutoff age for communities, I'm also not right at the beginning either and time seems to be flying. I realize I'm jumping the gun here and that it's silly of me to be planning on having to find yet another community to discern with but it's just one of those low points in my discernment. I'm not feeling depressed about it or anything, just blah...I feel like it's never going to happen. I've had better moments in discernment too though so I'm hoping I'll have more of those. We need the low points to strengthen our relationship with Christ and Mary so it's all good. I'm just curious to hear about these high and low points in other peoples' discernment (unless of course it's too personal and I'm prying). Take this with a grain of salt if you will, but what sprang out at me in your statement above are the two passages I put in bold and underlined. Right now you are discerning in a MORE RELAXED WAY - that sounds pretty good. The snake in the garden seems to be the second statement starting with HYPOTHETICALLY. This is called 'borrowing trouble'. Whenever we start to worry about something that MIGHT or MIGHT NOT happen then we are really messing with our own heads because there is absolutely nothing we can do about it EXCEPT to worry. My advice, such as it is: go back to your first statement and let yourself enjoy discerning IN A MORE RELAXED WAY. There is a story about a Father who is taking his child on a trip. the kid asks if he can hold his own ticket and the Father replies, 'I will give it to you when we get to the station'. You aren't at the station yet, so just wait and your Father in heaven will take care of things until you get there. Most of the lows are imaginary - so focus on reality and enjoy what's happening now - impatience is simply not being here now. There will always be highs and lows - stay in the present and you will enjoy the highs more and God will help you with the lows. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Immanuel Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Nunsense you are so wise and your words have found a home in my heart even though I am not discerning. Thank you for your posts that never fail to encourage me in my walk with the Lord even though they are directed mostly for others (since I don't post often...mostly a lurker) . You are in my prayers everyday. Have a fruitful pilgrimage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Nunsense you are so wise and your words have found a home in my heart even though I am not discerning. Thank you for your posts that never fail to encourage me in my walk with the Lord even though they are directed mostly for others (since I don't post often...mostly a lurker) . You are in my prayers everyday. Have a fruitful pilgrimage. Immanuel - you are sweet. I think when I give advice, it is probably because it's something that I need to hear myself. I am not discerning right now either but I know that if I want to 'walk with the Lord', as you so beautifully put it, then I have to be here in the present and not fretting myself to death about what might/might not/should/ shouldn't happen or even what I think I want. Trusting Him is a moment by moment as well as a lifelong surrender. My pilgrimage on El Camino is a physical way to walk with the Lord, but I know I am doing it because it will force me to be here and now with Him so I can hear what He is whispering to me. Thank you for your good wishes. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macguy4143 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Nunsense you are so wise and your words have found a home in my heart even though I am not discerning. Thank you for your posts that never fail to encourage me in my walk with the Lord even though they are directed mostly for others (since I don't post often...mostly a lurker) . You are in my prayers everyday. Have a fruitful pilgrimage. You are so right, nunsense you are so inspirational and I'm so enlightened to se that you have inspired immanuel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graciela Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Dearest Nunsense, This comes with much love and prayers and a wish that I could walk this pilgrimage with you. For some of us, perhaps, the Beloved has no existing human structure into which we fit... And the only place we are at home in this life is near his heart. This too is a grace. His love endures forever- Graciela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 There is a story about a Father who is taking his child on a trip. the kid asks if he can hold his own ticket and the Father replies, 'I will give it to you when we get to the station'. I REALLY like this. It's so simple, but man is that exactly how it is. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Wait. Nunsense is hiking El Camino? Isn't she in the Carmel? I'm confused. Did I miss something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kayte Postle Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Wait. Nunsense is hiking El Camino? Isn't she in the Carmel? I'm confused. Did I miss something? Go to open mic. She's got a thread there about it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Oh... I see! Sorry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kayte Postle Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Oh... I see! Sorry! it ok, sorry if my post sounded curt. I know most of us vs-ers don't normally venture outside of vs :proud: (sorry about hijacking the thread) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 it ok, sorry if my post sounded curt. I know most of us vs-ers don't normally venture outside of vs :proud: (sorry about hijacking the thread) You didn't sound curt. I was apologizing because I hijacked the thread, not you! :sorry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Dearest Nunsense, This comes with much love and prayers and a wish that I could walk this pilgrimage with you. For some of us, perhaps, the Beloved has no existing human structure into which we fit... And the only place we are at home in this life is near his heart. This too is a grace. His love endures forever- Graciela Thank you for this sweet post Graciela. I was trying to respond to Highs and Lows of Discernment but I apologize- it seems that I started the hijacking of this thread by referring to my own situation. Mea culpa! :) I should have posted it in Open Mic under Walking the Way http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/129807-walking-the-way-el-camino-de-santiago-de-compostela/#entry2597711 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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