Self-mortification

[Kylie Spinelli]

Does anyone have any advice or examples for self-mortification? I'm not looking for anything that could seriously harm someone, but just examples of every day little things to offer up for souls.

And of course before beginning anything I will speak with my spiritual director regarding methods and acts.

Thanks and God bless!!

~Kylie

[Sister Marie]

I think the most effective mortification is whatever it is that God gives you in your everyday life; a difficulty at work, an argument with your family, an interruption when you are doing something important, an interruption in prayer...

 

I worked as a caregiver before I entered the convent and it offered more opportunities for mortification than any other time in my life (save living in community with other women religious!). 

 

Don't try to practice more mortification... find what sacrifices are already present in your daily life and live them with fullness of heart.

[PhuturePriest]

Saint Anthony of Padua found whipping his back to be a good way to sacrifice. I myself was inspired when I was fourteen, so I used to whip my back with a belt. However, the Church advised against such practices, so I've taken to less physically damaging things like doing school as a penance. I've found it's easy enough to use accidental physical pain as a penance anyway (An accidental stubbed toe is a wonderful opportunity to offer up the pain for the souls in purgatory).

[Ex Tyburn Junior]

Where to begin???

 

The nice thing about mortification - and this is the only nice thing about it - is that It's as individual as you are.

 

• Is food your comfort zone? Then fast, or at least cut out the burgers, or the chocolate bars, or the zucchini fritters, or whatever it is that really floats your boat.
• Is TV/movies your comfort zone? Cut back.

 

Other ideas:

 

• Sugar in your coffee
• Cigarettes
• Nail-biting
• Reading romance novels (hey, you shouldn't be doing that anyway, unless they are about the romance of the Cross ...)
• The all-important alcoholic drink at the end of a hard day
• NOT having the last word
• NOT always being right about something
• 'Letting go' of rude remarks, rather than responding
• Doing something nice for an annoying person at work

Handy hint:

 

The most effective form of mortification is one SET BY SOMEONE ELSE FOR YOU. So you could ask your spiritual director to set you something, and then do it. This both mortifies your body/appetites, AND mortifies your will.

[Ex Tyburn Junior]

I think the most effective mortification is whatever it is that God gives you in your everyday life; a difficulty at work, an argument with your family, an interruption when you are doing something important, an interruption in prayer...

 

I worked as a caregiver before I entered the convent and it offered more opportunities for mortification than any other time in my life (save living in community with other women religious!). 

 

Don't try to practice more mortification... find what sacrifices are already present in your daily life and live them with fullness of heart.

 

Spot on, Sister. Especially the bit about living in community with other women religious ...

 

Daily life usually sends us enough, but it's nice when someone asks for more. God can always find a way of sending more in daily life!

[thepiaheart]

Fundamentally, it is important to start with total abandonment to the will of God. Have you read "Uniformity with God's Will" by St. Alphonsus de Liguori? It marks a definitive turning point in my journey after the Lord. I consider it a must read. I read it, and realized how little of it I practiced. As something as simple as it raining. I find rain super uncomfortable, and it was a tremendous undertaking for me to say to the Lord, "Lord, thank you for loving us in this way," whenever it rained. Not complaining. Not criticizing, and always building up, etc.

 

Only recently did the Lord place a desire on my heart to make ever the more space for Him, so I sat down and examined what I really enjoyed, perhaps abundantly, and it was primarily in food: so I only drink water and unsweetened coffee, and don't allow myself any snacks or desserts, just three small meals, and even smaller on Fridays. Any of those things. Websites (facebook, for example), or blogs. Television. Fill that time up with something concretely good: volunteering, for example, which offers a ton of opportunities for humility and self-mortification.

 

Ask the Lord to enlighten you about your own will, and I'd recommend discussing any penance or self-mortification with your spiritual director.

 

Pax!

Edited July 4, 2013 by thepiaheart

[Totally Franciscan]

Perhaps I am off base here, but instead of "mortifications", I prefer to do something positive.  In Lent, instead of "doing without" something, I try to "do with" something, like acts of charity to my neighbor or someone I don't know at all.  Sometimes when I want to just veg out and watch TV, I instead read an enlightening religious book, the Catechism of the CC, or the Bible.  I am trying to put more LOVE in my life, as St. Therese would do.  This is not always easy, and I think it actually counts as a form of mortification, showing love and caring for someone when you would rather do something for yourself. 

[Eowyn]

I think the most effective mortification is whatever it is that God gives you in your everyday life; a difficulty at work, an argument with your family, an interruption when you are doing something important, an interruption in prayer...

 

I worked as a caregiver before I entered the convent and it offered more opportunities for mortification than any other time in my life (save living in community with other women religious!). 

 

Don't try to practice more mortification... find what sacrifices are already present in your daily life and live them with fullness of heart.

 

 

You know, I worked as a nursing assistant for a long time (about 16 years.)  That was in my teens and through early 30's.  I've often thought it was a good "formation" and I've come to appreciate what I learned. As Sister wrote, the opportunities are endless for mortification.  I learned a lot about how to handle suffering gracefully (and joyfully.) 

'

[Sister Marie]

Spot on, Sister. Especially the bit about living in community with other women religious ...

 

Daily life usually sends us enough, but it's nice when someone asks for more. God can always find a way of sending more in daily life!

 

I've noticed in myself that when I want an extra penance its because I don't want to face the one I already have.  Maybe that is just me... but I do think there is something in our humanness that makes us ask for what we want instead of what we have.

 

I think too that there are so many small moritifications we can do; take the stairs instead of the elevator, take the bus instead of your car, turn the radio off and sit in silence, walk instead of drive, make dinner instead of going out...

 

I also think its good when mortifications serve another purpose also; care for creation, solidarity with the poor, living in community with God's family, interdependence, trust in divine providence...

 

Anyway, these are just my own thoughts... there are so many mortifications to be made just in daily life.

[PhuturePriest]

Where to begin???

 

The nice thing about mortification - and this is the only nice thing about it - is that It's as individual as you are.

 

• Is food your comfort zone? Then fast, or at least cut out the burgers, or the chocolate bars, or the zucchini fritters, or whatever it is that really floats your boat.
• Is TV/movies your comfort zone? Cut back.

 

Other ideas:

 

• Sugar in your coffee
• Cigarettes
• Nail-biting
• Reading romance novels (hey, you shouldn't be doing that anyway, unless they are about the romance of the Cross ...)
• The all-important alcoholic drink at the end of a hard day
• NOT having the last word
• NOT always being right about something
• 'Letting go' of rude remarks, rather than responding
• Doing something nice for an annoying person at work

Handy hint:

 

The most effective form of mortification is one SET BY SOMEONE ELSE FOR YOU. So you could ask your spiritual director to set you something, and then do it. This both mortifies your body/appetites, AND mortifies your will.

 

Since I'm writing a romance novel, I must ask what is supposedly wrong about them?

[Pax_et bonum]

• See dirty dishes in the sink? Wash them or put them in the dishwasher. The dishes are clean? Put them away. Without being asked.
• Don't complain about being asked to do something unpleasant; volunteer for a job you know that another dislikes and would have to do if you didn't do it.
• Parents or someone calls for you: stop what you're doing and go to them immediately.
• Same thing if you have a set time for prayer; don't put it off for a minute.
• Get out of bed as soon as you hear the alarm in the morning.
• Abstain from meat on Fridays and/or fast.

Any number of little things that mortify your will and self love. St. Therese would love to help you see the opportunities present in your daily life, I'm sure.

[Sister Marie]

Turn the A/C off... as long as you don't have any health problems and it isn't extreme heat... fans can do the job... but summer discomfort is a small penance... and in keeping with solidarity with the poor and the elderly who often cannot afford a/c.

[AnneLine]

I will absolutely agree with what people have been saying here.   Physical mortifications aren't the best choice.

The best penances / mortifications are the ones that feed on our own self will and serve others.  

 

Doing the little things that no one wants to do and that no one notices but that make such a nice difference in people's lives... doing them with no thought of getting anything back, and without a complaint.

 

I especially liked what Sr. Marie and ExTyburnJunior and some of the rest had to say about doing things that others tell you without a murmur... that is the key to living in community.  Religious life, family, work, etc.

 

Do any of you remember my Lenten thread using FLYLady's housework organization program during last Lent?  

 

Easily that was one of the HARDEST penances I have ever done.  And it was frighteningly simple and stark to the point of true self-mortification.  Had a bunch of people pm me that they tried it and just found it... REALLY penitential.  BUT a few stuck it out and said that the end of Lent was simply miraculous.  Yup.  

 

What made that a penance (and oh boy, any and everyone who tried it agreed!) was that it was doing what a random person told you to do... and often it appeared to make NO SENSE.

 

And as several of you have noted, it lead to the wish TO DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ELSE rather than some simple yet stupid chore.  And yet THAT is the kind of real penance that will really train you up for religious life.  because that is what religious life is like... doing an infinity of silly little things with great love for God and others.... without any self-love being encouraged at all....  simply obeying and loving while you do that.

 

If you didn't follow it last Lent, you might like to look through it again.... I may do a follow-up on my random thread, because I could use a push once again....
 

http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/127033-lenten-flylady-challenge-from-anneline/

 

[maximillion]

How I wish I had props for all of you!

 

 

Do whatever comes along/presents itself, take out the garbage, clean your brother's shoes, load up the washing machine, smile at the grumpy guy who's always on the bus.

Give up your mind chatter......even for five minutes.

[jumpfrog]

I met a sister who only ever drank water. She never explained why, but I thought it might an offering of penance, a lifelong one. That would be a real sacrifice for me...no coffee or beer! But I keep it in mind, maybe I will make an offering like that someday.