Do You Tell Strangers About Wanting To Enter Religious Life?

[OnlySunshine]

If I could provide another perspective, it's that I wished I didn't tell as many people as I did when I was discerning religious life.  Now that I know that vocation is probably not going to happen for me without a miracle (hey, it could happen), I hate it when people ask me how it's going.  Even people from Church, like my former EMHC coordinator, asked me all the time how it was going.  I hated having to provide an answer.  The worst person, though, was my doctor.  She's Catholic and was taught in school by nuns and she always goes on and on about how she doesn't think it's fair that I can't enter simply because of a medical issue (however, it's more complicated than that).  I've tried to explain the reason but she just does it again the next time she sees me or my mom.  :rolleyes:

 

I'm not saying you shouldn't tell anyone but I really wish I had been more private about my discernment.  It's no one's business but my own and God's.  I felt like each person I told took a bit of the journey and it wasn't mine anymore.  That may be a strange way to describe it, but it's the truth.  I think being zealous about discernment can be a problem at times because it makes us think we are certain about things.  I thought, for a long time, that I was certain God was calling me to religious life but now I have to be practical and say that I was mistaken.  I've learned a lot from my previous ways.  ;)

[SilentJoy]

  The worst person, though, was my doctor.  She's Catholic and was taught in school by nuns and she always goes on and on about how she doesn't think it's fair that I can't enter simply because of a medical issue (however, it's more complicated than that).

 

 

 

I get told this a lot. I wasn't going to tell people but I kind of had to (at least it seemed that way at the time). When I sought a diagnosis of Asperger's after a religious community hinted that I might struggle with something like that, the psychologist assured me that the Monastery was practicing illegal discrimination against someone with a disability and that there might be legal action available to me if I needed it.  :paperbag: I said, "Its a family, not a factory. Families don't HAVE to adopt anyone."
 

[maximillion]

I know that we all benefited from nunsnse's experiences and she was so very open about her journey.....I don't know hoe she feels now but I got the impression she felt similarly MaterM.

 

 

There's sharing, and there's sharing too much.

 

We often only learn this in retrospect. There's a few projects I had as possibilities in my life I wish I had been a little more discrete over too!

 

It's a case of discerning who to share the discernment with. :hehe:

[OnlySunshine]

I get told this a lot. I wasn't going to tell people but I kind of had to (at least it seemed that way at the time). When I sought a diagnosis of Asperger's after a religious community hinted that I might struggle with something like that, the psychologist assured me that the Monastery was practicing illegal discrimination against someone with a disability and that there might be legal action available to me if I needed it.  :paperbag: I said, "Its a family, not a factory. Families don't HAVE to adopt anyone."
 

 

YES!  It's not that the Sisters who "denied" my entrance were stigmatized or anything - it's that they really and truly cared about me SO much that they didn't want to have me slide back while in the convent.  Not many religious communities have their own health insurance so it would have been really difficult for me to get the care I needed unless I was able to pay for it myself (which I cannot afford).  I love all the communities I discerned with - especially the last one because we have a great relationship.  Even though I may not be called there, I developed friendships that will last a lifetime.  :)

 

I know that we all benefited from nunsnse's experiences and she was so very open about her journey.....I don't know hoe she feels now but I got the impression she felt similarly MaterM.

 

 

There's sharing, and there's sharing too much.

 

It can be really embarrassing, too!  I remember how awful I felt when I had to tell someone that part of my discernment journey didn't work out.  Some people made me feel like I failed somehow - especially those who don't really understand discernment and the process you have to go through.  Not everybody who discerns religious life will actually enter and that's OK.  What's most important is that you discerned God's will effectively and you realize that it's not the path He is calling you to.  I'm not a failure.  No one who didn't enter religious life is a failure.  Those that entered and left are not failures.  It's all a part of the process.  I'd say that sometimes (more often than not, actually) it's a process of trial and error.  We have to be open, but we also have to be practical. :)

Edited May 3, 2014 by MaterMisericordiae

[Sister Marie]

Mater, I hope you know that even though you wish you had done things differently for yourself God has certainly brought a lot of good out of your experiences so that you can share here.  You have a lot of wisdom to share now.  I'm sure it would have been easier for you in the end if you hadn't shared about your discernment but God is using that experience to really help a lot of other people as they journey through discernment.

[OnlySunshine]

Mater, I hope you know that even though you wish you had done things differently for yourself God has certainly brought a lot of good out of your experiences so that you can share here.  You have a lot of wisdom to share now.  I'm sure it would have been easier for you in the end if you hadn't shared about your discernment but God is using that experience to really help a lot of other people as they journey through discernment.

 

Thank you, Sr. Marie.  I try my hardest to encourage vocations and help people in ways that God has blessed me with.  Even if I cannot enter religious life, I don't regret my discernment for one second.  But sometimes you have to know what to share and with whom.  My mom was my biggest cheerleader because she supported me through the good times and bad.  Even though it ended up not going the way both of us expected, we are closer now because I've shared my trials and tribulations with her.  It made me stronger and more confident that God has something awesome planned for me, even if I don't know what that is right now.  :)
 

[Canonistwannabe]

I tell people because this is not something I'm shy about. If one of my former parish priests introduced me to someone the first thing he'd say is that I want to be a sister.

[Blue.Rose]

I tell people now but people react quite differently about it.

[1054]

...

 

My long time spiritual director (priest religious and theologian) said to me before he died : "Go through life merrily casting your seeds and don't hang around to see what happens"  And this is very often what does happen, in that one plants a small seed and moves on.  Sometimes, one later might discover that that seed germinated and bore fruit - most of the time we don't know outcome if any.  I see this in the Parable of the Sower.  Seeds are sown in all sorts of soil types, but the sower does not hang around to see what happens but moves on sowing his seeds as he goes and in all kinds of soil not being carefully discerning to sow only in the productive and fertile soil.

 

Ours is to labour in the vineyard - The Lord alone grants success as He May Will and "The Spirit blows where it will".

 

...

 

Read this thread for the first time and I loved this story!  Thanks for sharing! 
 

[oremus1]

Tell them you've got a steady, he's just not here in town.

You have a steady, and he is a King

[BarbTherese]

Read this thread for the first time and I loved this story!  Thanks for sharing! 
 

 

 

:)