Male Domestic Violence Advertisement

[PhuturePriest]

Does this shock anyone?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3PgH86OyEM

[Credo in Deum]

Wait life isn't fair? Total buzz kill.

[Spem in alium]

Domestic violence is an issue very close to my heart. This ad doesn't shock me, no - though it does well to convey its message.

Edited May 25, 2014 by Spem in alium

[Ice_nine]

Miles are you an MRA?

[PhuturePriest]

Miles are you an MRA?

 

Does it answer your question if I tell you I had to Google to find out what that means? :P

 

No. the171 simply posted this on Facebook and I thought it was good. I believe both men and women are repressed in different ways. It's foolish to say just one or the other is repressed, especially when 40% of domestic violence is made on men.

[marigold]

It made me feel pretty uncomfortable.

[Perigrina]

I have seen a similar experiment done with Americans.  In that one, people actually cheered on the female who was being violent to a male. When asked, they said things like, "Obviously she must have a good reason."  So I am not shocked in the sense of surprised.  I have known about the bias against men for some time now.  I am, however, appalled at the injustice and ignorance surrounding the issue of domestic violence against men.  I hope that there will be many more videos like the one in the OP to raise awareness of the problem.

[Credo in Deum]

While domestic violence should not be tolerated regardless of the persons sex, the movie does display a fundamental truth. God created men to be patriarchs, so when men do not live out this fundamental role they end up looking ridiculous and out of place. When a man does not treat those he loves with kindness and mercy, he looks bad. When a man appears effeminate in the face of tough situations he looks unfit to lead.

[Perigrina]

While domestic violence should not be tolerated regardless of the persons sex, the movie does display a fundamental truth. God created men to be patriarchs, so when men do not live out this fundamental role they end up looking ridiculous and out of place. When a man does not treat those he loves with kindness and mercy, he looks bad. When a man appears effeminate in the face of tough situations he looks unfit to lead.

 

This is just blaming the victim.  Men are damned it they do and damned if they don't.  There are no good options for men dealing with physically or emotionally abusive women.  Many times they are unable to defend themselves because there is a presumption that it is always the mans fault.  This does not mean the men are effeminate.  It means that society needs to change.  It means the perpetual "victimhood of women to male oppressors" must be challenged.

[Selah]

Don't victim blame. Victim blaming in any situation is wrong.

 

The idea that men cannot be abused and need to ask for help from dangerous situations is actually very sexist on both sides. Asking for help is not "effeminate" and quite honestly, if this wasn't Phatmass and I didn't expect this shit on a regular basis, I would go on a whole other rant, but it'll fall on deaf ears, so. 

[MIKolbe]

what?

[ardillacid]

no

[Credo in Deum]

This is just blaming the victim. Men are damned it they do and damned if they don't. There are no good options for men dealing with physically or emotionally abusive women. Many times they are unable to defend themselves because there is a presumption that it is always the mans fault. This does not mean the men are effeminate. It means that society needs to change. It means the perpetual "victimhood of women to male oppressors" must be challenged.

I'm not blaming the victim, I'm saying men shouldn't play the victim. I'm a man and I do not lament over our lot in life. Men and women are built differently, therefore the rules of engagement will be different. This is life, I simply say offer it up.

[Perigrina]

I'm not blaming the victim, I'm saying men shouldn't play the victim. I'm a man and I do not lament over our lot in life. Men and women are built differently, therefore the rules of engagement will be different. This is life, I simply say offer it up.

 

One offers up one's personal suffering.  This is a society-wide problem. There is nothing manly about leaving injustice unopposed.  There is nothing manly about keeping silent in the face of lies.  

[mortify ii]

We live in a disordered society, order must be restored.

 

[Norseman82]

I'm not blaming the victim, I'm saying men shouldn't play the victim. I'm a man and I do not lament over our lot in life. Men and women are built differently, therefore the rules of engagement will be different. This is life, I simply say offer it up.

 

 

One offers up one's personal suffering.  This is a society-wide problem. There is nothing manly about leaving injustice unopposed.  There is nothing manly about keeping silent in the face of lies.  

 

I can just imagine how judgment day may go:  "For I was hungry, and you told me to offer it up".

 

I saw a post on Catholic Answers forum (the thread may have since been deleted) saying that if a woman hits a man, he should just take it.  This type of attitude is exactly why this problem exists. 

[Selah]

Admitting you need help isn't weakness.

 

This macho man attitude is dangerous. If a man is being abused by a woman, or a woman is being abused by a man, they need to both leave that situation or look for help and/or asylum.

 

Why is that so hard to understand?

[Ice_nine]

I'm way too tired to formulate a coherent response that won't piss anyone off, but I can see both sides to the debate here. My apologies in advance. If you could give me the benefit of the doubt before assuming I'm a victim-blaming man-bashing she wolf, I would appreciate it.

 

A few questions I have. When does physicality become abuse? To me the word "abuse" connotates exercising power over someone, manipulation, coercement. This power need not be exercised physically, but when it does get physical men have a clear advantage over women. Physical abuse might not be better or worse than other types of abuse (emotional, mental, sexual) in terms of its ramifications for long-term psychological health of the victim, but it is the most immediately dangerous in that it could directly result in someone's death. A man smacking a woman around could kill her. A woman could theoretically kill a man by smacking him around but it definitely wouldn't be a typical scenario. I think people don't take the woman smacking the man around as seriously because they assume, whether its true or not, that the man isn't going to actually die or suffer a serious  debilitating injury from it, whereas they assume that behind closed doors the man might actually beat the woman to death.

 

To be clear I'm NOT saying it's the man's fault (victim-blaming) if a chick is going ape **** on a dude. He's obviously staying in the relationship because of some psychological issue (healthy folks don't put up with that crap), but that deserves compassion, not derision. He should get the hell out of that whacked relationship, just as a woman in a similar situation should. But I don't think, generally speaking of course, that physical abuse towards men from women is the real problem. I see a lot of women, in media as well as real life, beat down on men emotionally and mentally and to me that's probably more of an issue.

 

 

 

*Also just as a side note, I don't suffer from some delusion that women can't be just as evil as men. There is one person who I know who is a bona fide sociopath, and there is not doubt in my mind that this person could kill 20 people and not feel bad about it and perhaps enjoy it. This person is a chronic manipulator who has abused her children physically, mentally, emotionally, and probably engaged in sexual abuse, and guess what, this person is a woman. The damage that she's caused in the lives of her family is astronomical.

[Perigrina]

I agree that adult fatalities from domestic violence are significantly more likely to be women, although there are still a lot of men killed. However, I doubt that this plays a major role in the huge disparity in how people tend to respond to domestic violence depending on the sex of the victim.  I think the attitude that women should be protected and men should tough it out is not really coming from any rational basis.  Women can and do seriously injure men and there is no good reason to assume that an abused man will not be seriously hurt or killed.

 

Often people (male and female) stay in abusive relationships because of the children.  This is possibly an even greater factor for men dealing with abusive women.  The odds are against a man getting custody of his children, so if he leaves, it means leaving his children with an abuser.  A lot of men are going to stay under those circumstances.

 

 

[Credo in Deum]

One offers up one's personal suffering. This is a society-wide problem. There is nothing manly about leaving injustice unopposed. There is nothing manly about keeping silent in the face of lies.

Funny because I never said we should do nothing about domestic violence or injustices. All I'm implying is that we shouldn't beach about it like a bunch of wusses. Everyone has a campaign to complain about something, whether it's men's boohooing about abusive women, or women trying to ban the word bossy. IMO, both sexes have coddled beyond reason. Edited May 25, 2014 by Credo in Deum