Parents Against Religious Life

[Hemma]

An Austrian Abbess told me: Her father was against her entering a convent and was absolutely not happy about it. However he was a religious man. Somebody told him: On your deathbed you will be grateful for your daughter. - That was an argument for him, and I suppose he found his peace with the decision sooner.

 

We shouldn't forget that heavenly grace can open the hearts of our family too. I've experienced that both when I converted and when I entered the community. In the first case my parents were heavily against it, especially my father. The celebration took place in the house chapel of the community which was a few hours driving from my parent's house. I travelled some days before them. When I left my parent's house there was no clue whether they would ever accept it. However they were invited. And when they arrived on the eve of the feast they were completely peaceful. In the meanwhile my father had got his personal "duc in altum" sign from above and my parents became catholic two years later in the same place.

 

When I entered the convent it was not as heavily, but the whole family was present and all of them felt unwell about the whole thing. (You can even see it on the fotos from the beginning of the ceremony). But during the ceremony they somehow felt that it was right and that it was my vocation to be a sister. And after that they were happy with it and even a bit proud of me.

And you should not think that was an easy thing for the Holy Spirit. I come from a Lutheran family and they have a special reservation against these things. My parents have been fascinated by consecrated life all their lifetime but they could never think of anybody of the family joining it. It was very difficult for myself doing it because I felt the huge gap between the tradition of my family and my own vocation.

 

Edit: But, do it, if you ever have the vocation, do it! Otherwise you'll never become happy. Who had known my parents before would never have thought they could become catholics ever - maybe just because they had catholic contacts over all the years and didn't. The Lord does great wonders!

Edited July 28, 2014 by Senensis

[Carla]

Sadly i know some friends who give from Vocation only because of pressure of family.And i have been sure that they have Vocation but for some people this pressure is something they can not handle.And now they are not happy.They try to be happy but their not.It is very sad and it break my heart,

Also i know examples where parents kind of push their children into the discerning and vocation that also not end well in this way they just push them from church and from vocation.

My  parents give us proper raising and catholic education but i have never been pushed into nothing.My vocation and my discerning is pure my decision.They just give me support in my discerning for religious life.I'm sure that they will do the same no mother i have pick in my life.

Good example is my sister,after high school she did not enter collage.For few years she traveled,work and live her life in the way she want it.

After few years of searching her self this year she decided that next year she will start studding at local Catholic collage and in the same time she will enter monastery and start her postulate.Every vocation is different and we need to treat it different.

[Blue.Rose]

It sounds like God has blessed you with wonderful parents Carla!

[Hemma]

@Carla: You remember me of a friend who entered a convent of sisters against the will of her family. (It was a family of psychopaths, and moreover protestants. She was the only one who was not insane, so to speak). Her family discovered where she was and set up really big terror. At the end my friend got seriously ill under the whole pressure. Her family threatened to retrieve her by police power. That was the point when she left because she felt that she couldn't enforce it any longer. The whole story took only a few months. A very, very sad story.

 

Another girl whom I didn't know personally but who I remember very well couldn't even try because of her parents. It was during my postulancy when I saw her in our cloister, bowing her head to the Crucified Lord while passing by the cross. She was wearing a decent skirt; on her face a silent and earnest expression.

Afterwards I asked my VD: "What about that girl. Does she have a vocation?" My VD answered sadly: "She has, she might have.. she wants to be a consecrated virgin, but her parents are against it and that's why she doesn't feel able to do it... some can't overcome these oppositions..."

 

Then there was a young monk whose mother always prayed to much (if you allow me to say so). She might have pushed her son into the monastery. After a few years they brought him right from the convent into the mental hospital.

 

And then there is a whole sad bunch of girls who failed because of failing spiritual fathers. Me too if I'm unlucky.

 

:dead:

Edited July 28, 2014 by Senensis

[Carla]

It sounds like God has blessed you with wonderful parents Carla!

 

Blue.Rose truly i'm blessed with amazing parents.They raise me in proper and religious way and give us excellent education.

And out family is blessed with two possible vocations.Both me and my sister consider entering in two completely different orders.

For our family is great honor,Also i'm comming from proud catholic country and it is long tradition here to serve vocations in church.

I have many relatives priests and sisters and i very proud on that.