First Meeting With Vocations Director?

[oratefratres]

So....I've written to request an appointment. How long will it take for him to respond? How long do you think unti I get an appointment? What will happen at that time? How do things go forward. What do I need?

[veritasluxmea]

It really depends. You wrote to him via email? maybe a few days to a month, depending on how busy he is. You could schedule an appointment anywhere from a week to a few months after that. As for the meeting itself, come prepared with a list of questions if you have any. Tell him where you are in your discernment and ask him yourself what the next step would be.

Edited February 23, 2015 by veritasluxmea

[Ash Wednesday]

I don't know anything about what this involves, but I'm praying for you.

[oratefratres]

It really depends. You wrote to him via email? maybe a few days to a month, depending on how busy he is. You could schedule an appointment anywhere from a week to a few months after that. As for the meeting itself, come prepared with a list of questions if you have any. Tell him where you are in your discernment and ask him yourself what the next step would be.

thanks very much

no I wrote a real letter . handwritten. I feel sick. if I don't hear in a month what should I do. what if he says I have no vocation
 

[Lilllabettt]

good discernment goes hand-in-hand with detachment. Your ability to discern God's will is in large part a function of your indifference to whatever His will may be.

 

99% of misery in life is caused by the failure of some human attachment or expectation or plan. 

Perfect detachment is the path to peace. 

Obviously it's a life-long process terminating only with death ... but the more you can work towards it now, the better.

 

if he says you have no priestly vocation, the sun will set, and the sun will rise, and there will be another day with its own mission, a mission only God may know, a mission only you can complete. 

 

If you die never knowing what your mission was on earth, so much the better.

Blessed are they who did not see and yet believed. 

 

Edited February 23, 2015 by Lilllabettt

[veritasluxmea]

He wouldn't decide such a thing without a face-to-face meeting. At most he would simply say you need to wait (to pay off debt, to get work experience, to get older) and contact him again in a year or so. But it's unlikely he'd even say that without at least one in-person meeting, or at least a phone conversation. So don't worry about it. As St Padre Pio says, pray, hope, and don't worry.

 

A handwritten letter, could take much longer because the mail is slow. I wouldn't expect to hear back for a month or so just because it needs time to get there, time for him to process it and reply, and then time to get back to you. Once I wrote a letter and didn't hear back for a solid three months. But it's ok- if they get it, they will respond. period. After a month if you haven't heard back I would call and politely inquire if they received your letter. If not, you can send it again or talk to them right then.

 

 

[oratefratres]

good discernment goes hand-in-hand with detachment. Your ability to discern God's will is in large part a function of your indifference to whatever His will may be.

 

99% of misery in life is caused by the failure of some human attachment or expectation or plan. 

Perfect detachment is the path to peace. 

Obviously it's a life-long process terminating only with death ... but the more you can work towards it now, the better.

.... 

 

If you die never knowing what your mission was on earth, so much the better.

Blessed are they who did not see and yet believed. 

 

If I was indifferent to Gods will in my life, then why would I bother discerning anything??

 

 

.....

 

A handwritten letter, could take much longer because the mail is slow. I wouldn't expect to hear back for a month or so just because it needs time to get there, time for him to process it and reply, and then time to get back to you. Once I wrote a letter and didn't hear back for a solid three months. But it's ok- if they get it, they will respond. period. After a month if you haven't heard back I would call and politely inquire if they received your letter. If not, you can send it again or talk to them right then.

We live in the same country. I meant like a diocesan VD. I am just wanting to know more about maybe the diocesan priesthood.

How long do you think? I am very stressed. How do I prepare? What do I bring to the meeting.


 

[Spem in alium]

Congratulations on making this step. 

 

You can't rush his reply. But in the meantime, you can pray - for openness, patience, and perseverance. I will pray with you. :)

 

"Indifference" as has been mentioned here is not a negative quality. It is, as has been pointed out, a quality of detachment. To be indifferent is really to say something along the lines of, " I surrender myself to God." Indifference is freeing yourself of any particular desire, of being as open as you can to what may be. It's kind of along the lines of St Ignatius's Suscipe:

"Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
all I have and call my own.
You have given all to me.
To You, Lord, I return it.
Everything is Yours; do with it what You will.
Give me only Your love and Your grace,
that is enough for me."

 

Indifference, in this particular sense, actually helps us to discern better.

 

It may be a good idea to take to the meeting any questions you have, and to make notes at the meeting of anything you find interesting. I once went to a meeting with a Sister with over twenty questions written down. That Sister is now my superior, so she can't have been too taken-aback. :P

 

Ultimately, bring an open heart. If the vocations director says to you that he does not feel you have a vocation (or if he says he thinks you do) it's okay. That is his observation, not a definitive instruction. I had people telling me that I was meant to be a nun, that they "always knew", and I had people questioning my motives and challenging my decision. Ultimately, your vocation is your own unique call to love, and is found most deeply in God. People can advise you, and give their opinions, but only God truly knows the desires of our hearts and our destiny. Talk to Him about it. Spend time with Him in prayer or Adoration, and simply BE in His presence. He'll show you in good time. :)

 

 

 

 

[oratefratres]

 

Congratulations on making this step. 

 

You can't rush his reply. But in the meantime, you can pray - for openness, patience, and perseverance. I will pray with you. :)

 

"Indifference" as has been mentioned here is not a negative quality. It is, as has been pointed out, a quality of detachment. To be indifferent is really to say something along the lines of, " I surrender myself to God." Indifference is freeing yourself of any particular desire, of being as open as you can to what may be. It's kind of along the lines of St Ignatius's Suscipe:

"Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
all I have and call my own.
You have given all to me.
To You, Lord, I return it.
Everything is Yours; do with it what You will.
Give me only Your love and Your grace,
that is enough for me."

 

Indifference, in this particular sense, actually helps us to discern better.

 

It may be a good idea to take to the meeting any questions you have, and to make notes at the meeting of anything you find interesting. I once went to a meeting with a Sister with over twenty questions written down. That Sister is now my superior, so she can't have been too taken-aback. :P

 

Ultimately, bring an open heart. If the vocations director says to you that he does not feel you have a vocation (or if he says he thinks you do) it's okay. That is his observation, not a definitive instruction. I had people telling me that I was meant to be a nun, that they "always knew", and I had people questioning my motives and challenging my decision. Ultimately, your vocation is your own unique call to love, and is found most deeply in God. People can advise you, and give their opinions, but only God truly knows the desires of our hearts and our destiny. Talk to Him about it. Spend time with Him in prayer or Adoration, and simply BE in His presence. He'll show you in good time. :)

 

 

 

 

Yah you are so right.
But you know the thing I struggle with is - prayer is good, but prayer AND works are better. I could pray that the poor get fed, or I could pray AND buy them a sandwich. same way with discernment and meeting important people. you can just pray about it, or you can, I dunno, study, stress and plan what to say, be real prepared for the meeting etc
so I think prayer and works are good but no idea what I should be doing to prepare

 

[Spem in alium]

Yah you are so right.
But you know the thing I struggle with is - prayer is good, but prayer AND works are better. I could pray that the poor get fed, or I could pray AND buy them a sandwich. same way with discernment and meeting important people. you can just pray about it, or you can, I dunno, study, stress and plan what to say, be real prepared for the meeting etc
so I think prayer and works are good but no idea what I should be doing to prepare

 

 

I see what you're saying, but in some situations you can't always do works. Discernment (and all involved with it) can sometimes be one of those things. For example, when I was applying to join my congregation, something happened which delayed my application, and which really was out of my control. I couldn't do anything to advance the process, All I really could do was pray. 

It's very good to be aware of your feelings throughout your discernment process. If you really are stressing about this meeting, perhaps take a step back and look at why you are stressed. Is it because you're meeting someone important? Are you worried he will say you don't have a vocation to the priesthood? Do you just get nervous about meetings in general? I think it's a good idea that you consider why you're nervous, and where God is in the midst of that.

Also, try to remember you can't prepare for everything. The vocations director may ask you a question you hadn't planned for, or begin to talk about a subject you weren't expecting. While you can definitely prepare for what might be discussed - which is a good idea - it's good to also prepare for the unknown.

As I mentioned earlier, the best thing to take with you is an open heart - open to God's love and God's will. 

[oratefratres]

ok so its been a month and the diocesan VD has not responded. what does it mean. it is normal. what do I do. how long do I wait to contact him again.

[truthfinder]

Well, when I was contacting a monastery,it took an incredibly long time - so normal.  But now that it has been a month, I would send an email or a phone call - unless they specifically say write a letter.  Just ask if they had gotten your letter of n date; you never know what might be going on one their end which has slowed the response - could be something as simple as the VD having to take time and pray about a response.  Could have gotten lost in the mail; things happen, so make sure to contact the VD again.  

[kg94]

Normally vocations directors will reply (as long as they receive your letter, that is!!) but if you don't hear after 4-6 weeks, then I would suggest either writing again or trying a different method of contact, like a phone call. 

If a vocation director can tell you that you don't have a vocation, they shouldn't be a vocation director! We all have a vocation, a calling to service, and we share the universal call to holiness. As far as vocations to the priesthood and Religious Life (or even as a consecrated virgin etc) are concerned, you would have to discern that further. Normally, unless there were very strong factors to suggest you couldn't have a vocation to those states of life, i.e physical disability that would inhibit you from serving and living the demands of that life, or a psychological disorder (or a number of other things) then a person could not say whether they knew for sure until they explored a little bit further. I've known cases of people trying to run from their vocation to the Religious Life and they ended up exactly there - in the convent!...Even if it took them 7 years or longer.... :/

Also, depending on the congregation or who you contacted, I can tell you that contemplative congregations (nuns and monks enclosed in monasteries) can take years to reply! It's not always the case, but you may have to be patient. Also, it's Lent, so many vocation directors will be on retreat or in a busy period now preparing for Easter - a lot of congregations like to receive people at festive times in the Church's calendar - that's why entry dates tend to be on Feast Days and Solemnities!! Some congregations also restrict contact during Lent, so I wouldn't fret too much if you don't hear so soon!

Just note that patience is indeed a difficult virtue, but essential for the spiritual life. We spend most of our lives waiting. There is something called "Liminal Space" for all the moments of waiting that you didn't plan. Rather than growing impatient, grow in patience and offer up those moments of waiting to God. Trust God to lead you and guide you in His time. Ecclesiates 3 - Read that!  I remember feeling extremely frustrated as a child who wasn't even Catholic yet but had wanted to be since I was just 3 years old. In my teen years, I was in a Catholic school and learning more and more about the Church - signs pointed to a possible Religious Vocation since I was 13/14/15 years old. It was frustrating, because my parents didn't (and still don't) approve of me being Catholic, so I had to wait until I was 18. Once I had turned 18 though, I found things developed very quickly. I found my "spiritual home" as they say, and even became a Candidate with the congregation while still 18. I had barely been in the Church, but I had spent my teenage years studying Church teaching, Theology, Canon Law - you name it! I even read the Rule of St. Benedict in Latin at the age of 15! That time of waiting prepared me. Now, because of family pressures and other personal reasons, though I am still drawn to the congregation, I took the decision to study for a degree before continuing with formation. The Sisters and I still keep very regular contact. So, there you go, waiting can be a time to help you grow, to help you become more aware of the need to serve the Lord and give your whole self to Him in all you do, every moment of the day. Just pray to listen to God's voice, that deep inner voice that can be found when you access the centre in the interior silence. Read 1 Samuel 3:10.

If you want to talk more privately, you can email me:

franciscan.klt@gmail.com 

Love and prayer, 

Kim-Therese x

[oratefratres]

Many thanks guys. I may write again. He is the diocesan VD for the diocesan priesthood

[dUSt]

Move to The Vocation Station