How old is too old?

[beatitude]

Nunsense, I get most of my things from eBay. You can quite often pick up brand-new clothes at a fraction of the price you would get them in the shop. I prefer this to thrift and charity shops as I find that the quality and sizes available in those tend to vary too much. I'm taller than average and need long-length trousers, and as there are only a few places that make trousers in different lengths, online shopping is the best option for me. You might find that you get more choices this way too.

Thinking about it, I probably do dress 'younger' than my age. I work with very traumatised children and I pick out colourful fun clothes that will make me seem friendly and approachable, so nothing too professional. Recently I bought a bright pink T-shirt with a parrot on it just because I know that the kids will love it if I come to work wearing a parrot.  If I had any other job I might not be quite so exuberant in my clothes.

[Ash Wednesday]

I couldn't care less if I saw someone shopping in the juniors section because they see clothes there they like. If someone takes issue, then they sure must have a great life to have to concern themselves with something like that.

[Basilisa Marie]

You're probably fine. I'm 26 and stopped shopping in the juniors section when I was about 21 or 22, but that was partly because the clothes wouldn't really fit and partly because I look pretty young so I'm on an endless crusade to not get mistaken for a teenager (or young college kid). A lot of juniors clothing doesn't seem to be cut right for lots of adult woman bodies, either.

But if it fits you dont worry, no one will know unless it's something with giant glitter words on it.  

[CrossCuT]

This conversation reminds me of a funny thing I saw the other day:

 

 

Key is: Dress in a way that you feel pretty. Who cares what section it comes from.

[Archaeology cat]

This conversation reminds me of a funny thing I saw the other day:

 

 

Key is: Dress in a way that you feel pretty. Who cares what section it comes from.

​Yep. I've always had my own style, and now my daughter does, too. I love seeing what she puts together. As a friend of mine says, "If I like the look of it, watch me rock it." 

[The Historian]

Key is: Dress in a way that you feel pretty. Who cares what section it comes from.

​The key is to dress modestly at all times.

[Lilllabettt]

when people ask questions about meeting a social expectation, it is often annoying for them to receive the reply of "do what you want, it doesn't matter."  The person is already well aware of their ability to do as they please. They are asking about the social expectation because to them, it does matter. Answering the question this way sends the message that the person is wrong for caring enough to ask.

Not having to care about social expectations is a privilege thing. You're educated about social expectations and then when you grow up you feel you have the power to reject them. Some people do not grow up with anyone to teach them how to meet social expectations around how to dress their age or body shape, put on make up, care for acne or kinky hair, etc. That knowledge is powerful to people who have not had access to it before. . 

 

[AccountDeleted]

when people ask questions about meeting a social expectation, it is often annoying for them to receive the reply of "do what you want, it doesn't matter."  The person is already well aware of their ability to do as they please. They are asking about the social expectation because to them, it does matter. Answering the question this way sends the message that the person is wrong for caring enough to ask.

Not having to care about social expectations is a privilege thing. You're educated about social expectations and then when you grow up you feel you have the power to reject them. Some people do not grow up with anyone to teach them how to meet social expectations around how to dress their age or body shape, put on make up, care for acne or kinky hair, etc. That knowledge is powerful to people who have not had access to it before. . 

 

​Well, I agree to disagree with you because I know that society's expectations are often wrong for an individual. There is a difference between society's expectations and common sense.

And when I say do what you want, that isn't a dismissal of someone's question, it's an honest answer that it is possible to make our own choices based on our research, understanding, common sense and preferences.

[Lilllabettt]

And when I say do what you want, that isn't a dismissal of someone's question, it's an honest answer that it is possible to make our own choices based on our research, understanding, common sense and preferences.

​In your opinion, are people who ask these types of questions unaware that "it is possible to make your own choices"? 

Of course, sometimes people just want reassurance that what they are doing is alright, and in those cases affirmation is great. My response was prompted less by your posts nunsense and more to that graphic CC posted about the "wear whatever the **** you want."  

It can feel good to be aware of beauty, fashion, and other social practices and then decide to say "forget that!" And take on the mantle of rebel, trailblazer, whatever. It does not feel good to experience those practices as some kind of mystery, and be an outsider because of what you don't know, or can't do.

"I don't want to" is very different to "I don't know how." 

[AccountDeleted]

​In your opinion, are people who ask these types of questions unaware that "it is possible to make your own choices"? 

Of course, sometimes people just want reassurance that what they are doing is alright, and in those cases affirmation is great. My response was prompted less by your posts nunsense and more to that graphic CC posted about the "wear whatever the **** you want."  

It can feel good to be aware of beauty, fashion, and other social practices and then decide to say "forget that!" And take on the mantle of rebel, trailblazer, whatever. It does not feel good to experience those practices as some kind of mystery, and be an outsider because of what you don't know, or can't do.

"I don't want to" is very different to "I don't know how." 

​I'm not sure I understand the question but I will try to respond with what I think it is. The people who ask these types of questions might simply be asking for permission to make their own choices. Society does have a big influence on what people wear, or even choose to wear. Peer pressure starts very young and clothing is one way that the peer group can identify who is 'in' and who is not. One of my daughters didn't really care what other kids thought about her clothes, she was very strong and independent, but the other one wanted to wear what everyone else was wearing, right down to the label, even if I could find the same style in a different label. It was important to her to fit in. 

I am not saying this is wrong, but when someone asks me what 'should' they wear (especially an adult) then I have to say, whatever you want. They don't need my permission but they seem to want to know if it is ok to do something that some others might not do (shop in the Junior section). I wasn't trying to be flip but to say, you are an adult (but perhaps that poster wasn't yet) and you can choose to do what works for you. I am a senior, but if I wanted to go into the Juior section to buy something, I would. It is most likely that I won't find anything I like (or that fits) there but then again, I might find an accessory I like or even a an article of clothing that had small, medium, large etc and would fit. My answer was that yes, it is permissible. Maybe not likely to be successful, but your choice. That's all.

[CrossCuT]

The graphic I posted was not really about the OP, it was a related thing that I posted because why not. I think I mentioned it in the post. 

I dont think that doing whatever you want means we throw caution to the wind btw... It doesnt mean we wear rice bags for clothes and soda cans for shoes. It means we dress in a way that makes us feel amesome and empowered. If someone feels that way about wearing clothes from the Juniors section then they will not question it or ask for opinions. If someone feels uncomfortable wearing clothes from the Junior section because of how it might reflect on them amongst their peers then they will NOT feel beautiful and empowered and will likely choose NOT to shop there.

 

Its really not a super deep issue. This isnt rocket surgery.

[veritasluxmea]

when people ask questions about meeting a social expectation, it is often annoying for them to receive the reply of "do what you want, it doesn't matter."  The person is already well aware of their ability to do as they please. They are asking about the social expectation because to them, it does matter. Answering the question this way sends the message that the person is wrong for caring enough to ask.

Not having to care about social expectations is a privilege thing. You're educated about social expectations and then when you grow up you feel you have the power to reject them. Some people do not grow up with anyone to teach them how to meet social expectations around how to dress their age or body shape, put on make up, care for acne or kinky hair, etc. That knowledge is powerful to people who have not had access to it before. . 

 

I totally get what you're saying here and I agree.  

​

The graphic I posted was not really about the OP, it was a related thing that I posted because why not. I think I mentioned it in the post. 

I dont think that doing whatever you want means we throw caution to the wind btw... It doesnt mean we wear rice bags for clothes and soda cans for shoes. It means we dress in a way that makes us feel amesome and empowered. If someone feels that way about wearing clothes from the Juniors section then they will not question it or ask for opinions. If someone feels uncomfortable wearing clothes from the Junior section because of how it might reflect on them amongst their peers then they will NOT feel beautiful and empowered and will likely choose NOT to shop there.

 

Its really not a super deep issue. This isnt rocket surgery.

 I partly agree, but I don't think clothing is completely relative. Please don't wear a bikini to the supermarket, even if you feel empowered enough to create world peace! I'd say wear what's empowering, what you want to wear- even if it's technically cut the wrong way or doesn't match your skin tone or whatever- in appropriate settings and ways. Steampunk cosplay at convention, public park, or while you're running errands=fine, steampunk cosplay at Sunday mass=no. You should also be aware of the consequences wearing something in a socially unacceptable way will have- wearing a hawaiian shirt to a high-profile business meeting will influence your job, and so on. Most of us say, well that's common sense and we know those consequences, that's why we don't feel empowered doing that, or we are empowered and chose to wear it anyways! But, like Lillabettt stated, not all of people do understand. There are unspoken rules, norms, and styles that affect how we perceive ourselves and others, which need to be spoken for some people. They wouldn't feel empowered if they really knew, so they can't make a free choice about it. 

​

​The key is to dress modestly at all times.

Pretty much. ​

[CrossCuT]

 I partly agree, but I don't think clothing is completely relative. Please don't wear a bikini to the supermarket, even if you feel empowered enough to create world peace! I'd say wear what's empowering, what you want to wear- even if it's technically cut the wrong way or doesn't match your skin tone or whatever- in appropriate settings and ways. Steampunk cosplay at convention, public park, or while you're running errands=fine, steampunk cosplay at Sunday mass=no. You should also be aware of the consequences wearing something in a socially unacceptable way will have- wearing a hawaiian shirt to a high-profile business meeting will influence your job, and so on. Most of us say, well that's common sense and we know those consequences, that's why we don't feel empowered doing that, or we are empowered and chose to wear it anyways! But, like Lillabettt stated, not all of people do understand. There are unspoken rules, norms, and styles that affect how we perceive ourselves and others, which need to be spoken for some people. They wouldn't feel empowered if they really knew, so they can't make a free choice about it.

​

​

I'm not in the business of suggesting people wear cosplay to church or Hawaiian outfits to high profile board meetings. I don't believe any th ing I said conflicts with this.

and matching clothes to your skintone? What the floop? I'd that a thing?

I have more I want to say but I won't turn this into a patriarchal, modesty, body police thread.

 

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

 

and matching clothes to your skintone? What the floop? I'd that a thing?

 

​Actually, it was quite a fad a while back. Whomever came up with this theory would classify people as seasons--winter, spring, summer, fall--based on their skin tone. People with bluish skin tones are either summers or winters, while people with golden skintones are springs or falls.

Apart from the "season" fad, I found I knew instinctively that there are certain colors that are unflattering on me. For example, I have a bluish skin tone while my mother's skin tone is more golden. My mother looks great in gold and orange--I normally look awful. Once I saw a sweater that my mother would love, so I tried it on for fit, looked in the mirror and thought I was coming down with something until I realized it was the color of the sweater. It was very flattering on my mother. But, I didn't need a fad to tell me this.

I normally ignore the current "fad" colors that clothing lines try to push each year, and only wear colors that look good on me. (BTW, it is the color closest to your face that is important--not the color of your skirt or pantaloons.)

[AccountDeleted]

​Actually, it was quite a fad a while back. Whomever came up with this theory would classify people as seasons--winter, spring, summer, fall--based on their skin tone. People with bluish skin tones are either summers or winters, while people with golden skintones are springs or falls.

Apart from the "season" fad, I found I knew instinctively that there are certain colors that are unflattering on me. For example, I have a bluish skin tone while my mother's skin tone is more golden. My mother looks great in gold and orange--I normally look awful. Once I saw a sweater that my mother would love, so I tried it on for fit, looked in the mirror and thought I was coming down with something until I realized it was the color of the sweater. It was very flattering on my mother. But, I didn't need a fad to tell me this.

I normally ignore the current "fad" colors that clothing lines try to push each year, and only wear colors that look good on me. (BTW, it is the color closest to your face that is important--not the color of your skirt or pantaloons.)

​I remember the whole summer, winter, spring, fall color theme! I wear the colors I like and feel comfortable wearing. I am not big on super bright colors or patterns. I like plain, simple solids and colors. That makes it difficult when a 'season' changes in the shops and I can't find anything I like because the colors are limited to that season's range.   I guess I am just a wear what I like kind of person, but then I think I have pretty good taste - not high fashion but simple and suitable for me.