Could someone help me out please?

[JessieL]

Well...actually...I would like to visit. When I looked at the website I did think it was really nice and I started to want to go to the retreat. But then I started thinking I would get brainwashed and my dad would freak out if he knew I wanted to go and the whole thing seemed so insane that I convinced myself that there was something wrong with them. So it turns out that this thread wad purely selfish and I am not the nice concerned citizen that I seemed like.

Going to spend about anhour in Confession...won't be bothering anybody again

[MarysLittleFlower]

​Hi Jessie, welcome to Vocation Station! I'm pleased you take so much concern for your friend and are trying sincerely to understand what she is doing. Go you!

I think its an honest concern for a friend too. Jessie I hope the responses people have made have maybe helped some of your fears about your friend? If not don't be afraid to ask more questions or keep seeking more info on this. Honestly its not as it might look  you might love the Sisters if you get a chance to meet them! I'd encourage you to

Edited June 14, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower

[MarysLittleFlower]

Well...actually...I would like to visit. When I looked at the website I did think it was really nice and I started to want to go to the retreat. But then I started thinking I would get brainwashed and my dad would freak out if he knew I wanted to go and the whole thing seemed so insane that I convinced myself that there was something wrong with them. So it turns out that this thread wad purely selfish and I am not the nice concerned citizen that I seemed like.

Going to spend about anhour in Confession...won't be bothering anybody again

Jessie I like your courage in admitting this but you're not bothering if you ask questions. Don't feel like you're unwelcome here now. Come and ask any questions! I do think though the Sisters themselves would be more ideal to help sort out any concerns. Just meeting them could help. I've met several orders and there was 0 brainwashing, no one tried even a little to 'get me' to join, a Mother Superior even said she would still help me discern if I'm called to some other order. The same goes if someone might have another vocation. If your dad is scared maybe you could just reassure him that you want to understand what your friend is choosing and just be there for her. I mean if *you* were discerning yourself it might be a different answer but if you wanted to see it for your friend, thats something else. I have married friends who love going to monasteries for prayer retreats and things. Its not even all vocational retreats.

[Luigi]

Jessie - See the thread (also in Vocation Station) called "15 Warning Signs." It does a good job of explaining the difference between a cult and a religious order. It also acknowledges that orders, if not set up and run according to the ancient traditions of the Church, can become cult-like.

But I doubt that you or your friend will find any of those Warning Signs associated with the Nashville Dominicans.

[TheresaThoma]

Don't feel like you are bothering us at all with your questions. As you may have notice we like answering questions (I think the biggest issue around here is to get us to "shut up"). 

It is hard when you have a friend doing something that you don't quite understand. I have friends in religious life and a friend who is serving as an overseas missionary. We don't see each other very often and sometimes even letters are limited. This does change our friendship a  bit but for me it has deepened those friendship because it is something we both have to work at. The relationship becomes more intentional. As an added bonus when you need prayers you practically have a whole army of prayer warriors praying for you!

Also FYI a troll is someone who posts a question just to cause trouble and controversy. (Kind of like a sibling teasing/tormenting you just to get a big response from you). From what you have said I really don't think you fall into that category.

[marigold]

Hi Jessie if it helps I'm a convert too How long have you been Catholic? I'd encourage you to keep learning about the Church. I started off thinking Catholics are not Christian and worship Mary and believe in earning salvation without grace. So I had much to learn more than you. I saw that... all the things I didn't like in the Church came from misunderstanding of them. Anyway I'll try to explain it from the point of view of someone who wants to be a nun too. If I was entering an order and someone asked me why can't I just love Jesus and stay in the world with my friends I would say this: "God made us for Himself and to do His Will because that is what is best for us. He made me for a specific purpose. I want to fulfill this and do His Will. I love my friends but we are ALL called to love God first - with all our and mind and strength. If He wants me in a convent then that is how my soul can love Him best. That is then how I was created. If I stayed here I wouldn't be able to love Him more, even if you can. Anyway I would only suffer. My heart wants to go and be alone with Him and to listen to Him alone. Like Mary, I want to sit at His feet and listen. These things I'm giving up I love too and they are good things but at the same time, it causes me suffering to remain here. Its like wanting to be alone with your Beloved. If you married a man and your house was further away wouldn't you still go? Would you choose your husband or your friends? If you wouldn't choose your friends over an earthly husband how could I choose my friends over God?" That would be my response but what is in her heart might be similar... Being drawn to religious life might be difficult to understand if you don't feel it yourself. I probably wouldn't understand it if I wasn't discerning too.  Its something very interior. But you can still try to understand it in ways even if you have another vocation  

​Just get thee to a nunnery already!

[marigold]

Well...actually...I would like to visit. When I looked at the website I did think it was really nice and I started to want to go to the retreat. But then I started thinking I would get brainwashed and my dad would freak out if he knew I wanted to go and the whole thing seemed so insane that I convinced myself that there was something wrong with them. So it turns out that this thread wad purely selfish and I am not the nice concerned citizen that I seemed like.

Going to spend about anhour in Confession...won't be bothering anybody again

​I hope you have a good confession! And also that you come back and chat to us because I think a lot of us are interested in this conversation and helping you work things out. Not in a brainwashy creepy way, mind  but I've been quite freaked out by nun stuff from time to time, and still am occasionally. It is a way of life that is radical and turns things upside down, that's why it's so vital to Christianity. So come and air your concerns! We're much better than the rest of the internet for this kind of stuff

[sr.christinaosf]

Wow...I'm sorry such misconceptions are out there about religious life!  

It's a joy to "give up stuff" and obey (do "what they tell you") - obviously nothing that is sinful.

Say, I'll throw something out there in case you're interested. I started a blog about our life (I am a Franciscan sister) and it has some reflections on religious life that might give you a little insight.  You can check it out - for what it's worth in your journey of coming to terms with your friends decision: https://ourfranciscanfiat.wordpress.com/.  

Also, why not talk to her about her decision and ask her to explain where she's coming from.  

I can speak for myself that as I learned more about this life of total dedication to Christ, I saw the beauty of it and my desire for it blossomed.  

One more thing, you can pray for your friend and for yourself.

Edited June 14, 2015 by sr.christinaosf

[JessieL]

Don't have a friend...no sense in you guys praying for a nonexistent person. So I guess I am a troll; one with psychological problems some of which stem from the fact that being a nun was my dream until I discovered all this stuff. I am furious and I feel cheated and betrayed. Don't worry this will be the last time I come here and you can delete my logon if you want. Or even delete this thread. That's probably the best option.

I am seriously going to go to Confession and then I will try to get my life back together.

Hope the nun thing goes well for you guys.

[Gabriela]

You exist, so we will pray for you!

[veritasluxmea]

Don't have a friend...no sense in you guys praying for a nonexistent person. So I guess I am a troll; one with psychological problems some of which stem from the fact that being a nun was my dream until I discovered all this stuff. I am furious and I feel cheated and betrayed. Don't worry this will be the last time I come here and you can delete my logon if you want. Or even delete this thread. That's probably the best option.

I am seriously going to go to Confession and then I will try to get my life back together.

Hope the nun thing goes well for you guys.

​I'm sorry you feel this way after receiving many nice, appropriate, and welcoming messages from people. Hopefully this thread will be helpful to someone out there. 

[Nunsuch]

Just very sad, I think....

[MarysLittleFlower]

Don't have a friend...no sense in you guys praying for a nonexistent person. So I guess I am a troll; one with psychological problems some of which stem from the fact that being a nun was my dream until I discovered all this stuff. I am furious and I feel cheated and betrayed. Don't worry this will be the last time I come here and you can delete my logon if you want. Or even delete this thread. That's probably the best option.

I am seriously going to go to Confession and then I will try to get my life back together.

Hope the nun thing goes well for you guys.

Jessie, I don't know your situation or what you read about religious life that made you upset. Maybe it might just take time to understand those aspects? I think it might help you to have a spiritual director to talk this out with or at least the priest in Confession. Spiritual directors are really helpful. Anyways prayers for you..

[Maggyie]

I can't help but roll my eyes at the OP who just happened to google nasty things about the Nashville Dominicans, it's always been her dream to be a nun, but she also always heard stories about grumpy nuns beating orphans, and her dad will be so upset if she and/or her imaginary friend becomes a brainwashed robot.

Much betrayed. So furious. "Please delete my thread now"

Behold a troll.

I've always wondered why religious life/priesthood topics seem to attract unstable personalities.

[vee]

[AveMariaPurissima]

@‌JessieL you are in my prayers. 

FWIW, I can relate a little bit.  Without getting into a lot of detail, from a young age I wanted to be a nun, but certain psychologically, spiritually, and emotionally damaging experiences left me somewhat skeptical about religious life.  Deep down, I still recognize the value and beauty of religious life, but another part of me is apprehensive and sometimes wonders why anyone would even want to be a nun.  I'm not saying this attitude is good or that I'm proud of it -- rather, I'm openly being honest about an area in me that still needs healing.  So don't jump all over me -- I'm just saying that I think I understand a little where Jessie's coming from.   

[:o)Katherine:o)]

You exist, so we will pray for you!

​Yes JessieL, you will be in our prayers! When you go to confession, talk to the priest about your frustration, anger and hurt. Confession is not only a chance to confess our sins but also to seek advice and guidance. You are literally sitting one on one with a priest through Persona Christi which means that you are talking with Christ.

[Yaatee]

Don't panic yet.  She is just going on a retreat.  After the retreat, she may lose her interest. She may apply, and  that is a long process, and they may not accept her.  She may enter and leave.  Does she like to teach?  Most of these sisters teach.  Does she think that she could wear that (very well-designed) hot habit in Nashville in the summer?

[marigold]

Don't panic yet.  She is just going on a retreat.  After the retreat, she may lose her interest. She may apply, and  that is a long process, and they may not accept her.  She may enter and leave.  Does she like to teach?  Most of these sisters teach.  Does she think that she could wear that (very well-designed) hot habit in Nashville in the summer?

​It pays to read the whole thread.

Good pointers other than that, though.  

[Catherine Therese]

I can't help but roll my eyes... <snip>

Behold a troll.

I've always wondered why religious life/priesthood topics seem to attract unstable personalities.

​I think precisely because there is a lot of anger/hurt here, and we obviously none of us have any idea what things have transpired in the OP's life to prompt such a response, that rolling eyes, pointing fingers and highlighting bad behaviour doesn't do a whole lot to serve the person on the other end of the network connection.

You say "Behold a troll".

I say "Ecce homo... behold the man" - behold Christ in someone who is suffering! Isn't this what we're taught? Do we believe it? 

Yesterday we heard the "love your enemies" Gospel at Mass. If we're trying to witness collectively to JessieL here in this thread she started, will she encounter people who will walk the "2nd mile" with her? Will she encounter authentically Christian community? Just something to think about as a community, anyway.