BarbTherese Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) What a lovely post, SJNM - and I love your expression "THE DELICIOUS PERSON who God created" SJNM: " Eventually, as all things do, the pain does fade away and it becomes part of the delicious person who God created; and you will see that all this suffering, loneliness and pain really polished you into something quite exquisite. But it does take time, and I pray through all of this sharing, we will see each other with new eyes and affirm each person's journey to Christ as something unique and beautiful. I especially pray that we will be tender and gentle with those in a different place than we are - one can never know how much a difference we can make by just "being there." Edited September 8, 2015 by BarbaraTherese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 One thing that just occurred to me is the fact that, though everyone talks about someone going into religious life being "brave and courageous," someone who comes out of it, especially when they've been in religious life for many years, is brave. According to various testimonies here, it is incredibly difficult to come back into the world where everything is completely different from convent life. There is no horarium, no bell, etc. so I could see someone being lost on a personal level. You have to readjust to life on the outside and get a job, pay bills, and other adult responsibilities. How do you explain years of your absence from working, especially when it's a non-Catholic or non-religious employer? Obviously, you cannot hide away until the wounds of leaving heal, so it requires bravery to do all these things when you are suffering through something so personal. I'm glad someone thought to create a group for women who have left the convent as I can only imagine how lonely it feels if you don't have anyone who knows what you are going through. A support system is definitely beneficial and would be akin to group therapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 One thing that just occurred to me is the fact that, though everyone talks about someone going into religious life being "brave and courageous," someone who comes out of it, especially when they've been in religious life for many years, is brave. According to various testimonies here, it is incredibly difficult to come back into the world where everything is completely different from convent life. There is no horarium, no bell, etc. so I could see someone being lost on a personal level. You have to readjust to life on the outside and get a job, pay bills, and other adult responsibilities. How do you explain years of your absence from working, especially when it's a non-Catholic or non-religious employer? Obviously, you cannot hide away until the wounds of leaving heal, so it requires bravery to do all these things when you are suffering through something so personal. I'm glad someone thought to create a group for women who have left the convent as I can only imagine how lonely it feels if you don't have anyone who knows what you are going through. A support system is definitely beneficial and would be akin to group therapy. I know that if I had not had my own family, which has always been a very large and loving and close one, something like Leonie's Longing would have been a good alternative. The important thing is that women leaving religious life do need help and support, and if they can't get it from their family or friends, then it's great that LL offers that safe place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) One thing that just occurred to me is the fact that, though everyone talks about someone going into religious life being "brave and courageous," someone who comes out of it, especially when they've been in religious life for many years, is brave. According to various testimonies here, it is incredibly difficult to come back into the world where everything is completely different from convent life. There is no horarium, no bell, etc. so I could see someone being lost on a personal level. You have to readjust to life on the outside and get a job, pay bills, and other adult responsibilities. How do you explain years of your absence from working, especially when it's a non-Catholic or non-religious employer? Obviously, you cannot hide away until the wounds of leaving heal, so it requires bravery to do all these things when you are suffering through something so personal. I'm glad someone thought to create a group for women who have left the convent as I can only imagine how lonely it feels if you don't have anyone who knows what you are going through. A support system is definitely beneficial and would be akin to group therapy. Well said! Edited September 8, 2015 by BarbaraTherese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 MM, I think I see what you mean about saying "pray and it will get better" as being unhelpful at the time because the wound goes very deep and takes time to heal. But I think its not your fault the friend moved away because as you said she found it painful in having to meet people from the Church and those she knew. Its very likely she also knew you meant well. I've probably said lots of well meaning but unhelpful stuff in my life. I've also received some comments after dealing with a traumatic event that made me kind of upset but I see now they were well meaning. So I wouldn't say your friend left because of you still I think this is a good discussion to have I also like that Leonie's Longing was mentioned. She was St Therese's sister who tried religious life several times? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) I've also read about - I think it was Sr Mary of the Holy Trinity.. She's a mystic. But if I remember correctly - she tried religious life several times and it was very difficult for her, she may have faced criticism and fears of new convents not wanting to take her after so many tries . Eventually she found her place. But there's another mystic who left and found her place in the world and then started a community. Then another married. That shows at least to me that ...God definitely didn't see them as "second rate", they didn't "fail" in leaving, but neither did God not want them. For all these they also left cause of health or something just didn't work out. I don't know if these examples would encourage someone who just came back... But perhaps much later, they can feel like "friends" who have been through the same? Nunsense, I agree we may never know how we would react till we are there. I'm not saying at all that I think I would face it with trust. Even the trial I had, I had much difficulty with trust and coping. I am very weak - I am sure I'm weaker than you. If I hope to have trust, my hope is only to not give up seeking it, by grace - not to be stronger. Stronger souls have wavered in their faith through this. I think if someone is going through this its important for them to not be told they must be naturally strong and faulted if they are not. We are not strong. Only grace allows to get through the suffering eventually. Its also totally fine to grieve - that means there was love. The reason I hope for God to help me with trust is because trust is my number one difficulty and because I want to learn to have it more constantly. But I'd never demand it from another - seeing as its not something I have much of myself naturally. What a lovely post, SJNM - and I love your expression "THE DELICIOUS PERSON who God created" SJNM: " Eventually, as all things do, the pain does fade away and it becomes part of the delicious person who God created; and you will see that all this suffering, loneliness and pain really polished you into something quite exquisite. But it does take time, and I pray through all of this sharing, we will see each other with new eyes and affirm each person's journey to Christ as something unique and beautiful. I especially pray that we will be tender and gentle with those in a different place than we are - one can never know how much a difference we can make by just "being there." Wonderful thoughts / sharing Edited September 8, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) I do believe when we look back on past sufferings too we see how much closer we've come to Christ and there's a sense of being closer because you "been there" with Him. This perception probably comes after the suffering. During it, its often just darkness. Time is important as you said Edited September 8, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Nunsense, I agree we may never know how we would react till we are there. I'm not saying at all that I think I would face it with trust. Even the trial I had, I had much difficulty with trust and coping. I am very weak - I am sure I'm weaker than you. If I hope to have trust, my hope is only to not give up seeking it, by grace - not to be stronger. Stronger souls have wavered in their faith through this. I think if someone is going through this its important for them to not be told they must be naturally strong and faulted if they are not. We are not strong. Only grace allows to get through the suffering eventually. Its also totally fine to grieve - that means there was love. The reason I hope for God to help me with trust is because trust is my number one difficulty and because I want to learn to have it more constantly. But I'd never demand it from another - seeing as its not something I have much of myself naturally. I don't think it's helpful to compare one person's strength to another's. Like the tailored crosses we bear, our individual strengths are designed to cope with the sufferings that we go through. You don't know if you are stronger or I am, and it wouldn't matter even if we did know. We know that it is in our weakness that Christ's strength is made perfect, so no strength belongs to us really, does it? So perhaps those who fall the furthest are the ones who will most deeply experience the grace of God as they heal. Only God knows. And when someone tells me I am strong, it just tells me that that person doesn't really know me at all. I might 'appear' strong to some people, but that isn't who I am. I am as much a weak and helpless child as anyone who has given their life to God. Once we ask Him to take charge, then we aren't the strong ones anymore. And in the long run, I don't see the issue as being about strength at all - not quite sure how that word got into the mix. Perhaps it is from that saying 'What doesn't kill you, makes you strong.' I have heard another saying, 'What doesn't kill you, makes you wish you were dead.' Some suffering does seem to make one feel like that! Your point about not demanding trust from another is well made. We don't even know our own level of trust until it is tested almost to breaking point. The more we want a virtue,like patience or trust, the more God has to put us into situations that test us in that virtue. For me, it's usually when I have finally given up and don't feel that I have anything left but complete emptiness, that's when He comes in and fills me with what is needed. So in one way, I don't regret anything that has happened in my life - so many truly amazing experiences - but I do still feel still feel the loss and sorrow of dreams unfulfilled. That is human, and I'm ok with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 (edited) I agree especially that God's strength is made perfect in our weakness, and we grow in a virtue when it is tested. That is very true and I've also found it to be so. I also think its natural to feel the loss of certain dreams. I'm trying to tell myself in the end I want God's dreams for me - but it doesn't mean I won't suffer letting mine go. I guess its just about how the suffering shapes us Edited September 8, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 MM, I think I see what you mean about saying "pray and it will get better" as being unhelpful at the time because the wound goes very deep and takes time to heal. But I think its not your fault the friend moved away because as you said she found it painful in having to meet people from the Church and those she knew. Its very likely she also knew you meant well. I've probably said lots of well meaning but unhelpful stuff in my life. I've also received some comments after dealing with a traumatic event that made me kind of upset but I see now they were well meaning. So I wouldn't say your friend left because of you still I think this is a good discussion to have I also like that Leonie's Longing was mentioned. She was St Therese's sister who tried religious life several times? I honestly don't take it personally at all. There are many things I don't know about her journey and never will because you can't explain things that are so personal. It's like explaining to someone what it's like to go through childbirth when they've never experienced it. Each person is different and each experience is different. I hope and pray that my friend is happy wherever she is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freedomreigns Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Hi! Thanks to all for your responses. I'm sorry I've been slow to respond. I'm trying to not be online a whole lot, but I have been reading along and have gained a lot of perspective from each of you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, and for any prayers. I will write more later, just taking it in and processing things for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Its unfortunate that none of the religious on here replied as the original post was looking for their perspective, perhaps they didnt notice. However someone active or lurker, present or future reader may benefit. Its certainly been an interesting and thought provoking thread to read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Hi! Thanks to all for your responses. I'm sorry I've been slow to respond. I'm trying to not be online a whole lot, but I have been reading along and have gained a lot of perspective from each of you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, and for any prayers. I will write more later, just taking it in and processing things for now. Really wonderful and a consolation to hear from you, freedomregins! Slow response is sure better than no response and has asked of us trust and confidence with patience. Prayer is answered. May God bless your "taking it in and processing" - continued prayer for you and do please keep us in your own prayers and in the loop - and "write more later". Barb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Really wonderful and a consolation to hear from you, freedomregins! Slow response is sure better than no response and has asked of us trust and confidence with patience. Prayer is answered. May God bless your "taking it in and processing" - continued prayer for you and do please keep us in your own prayers and in the loop - and "write more later". Barb Exactly what I want to say too its good to hear back from you and you are in our prayers Freedomreigns! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Hi! Thanks to all for your responses. I'm sorry I've been slow to respond. I'm trying to not be online a whole lot, but I have been reading along and have gained a lot of perspective from each of you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, and for any prayers. I will write more later, just taking it in and processing things for now. Just glad to know you are ok. Hang in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now