Contemplating Josephite marriage

[CatherineM]

As to adoption. We were in our 50's when we started taking in kids. Older ones, not infants. Needy, special needs kids, but no one cares how old we were. 

[Ice_nine]

 Chastity for a married couple entails a prohibition of sexual intimacy.

whoops.

Fix yo semantics

[Nihil Obstat]

 

whoops.

Fix yo semantics

Hm. I am not seeing it. Ambiguous euphemism?

[Maggyie]

Nm. Wrong!

Edited September 23, 2015 by Maggyie

[Amppax]

 

Hm. I am not seeing it. Ambiguous euphemism?

You said "chastity for a married couple includes a prohibition of sexual intimacy." Pretty sure you meant unmarried. 

[Nihil Obstat]

You said "chastity for a married couple includes a prohibition of sexual intimacy." Pretty sure you meant unmarried. 

Lol, geez. I must be getting tired. Yes, that is what I meant.  

[Ice_nine]

wow dude. Go home. You're drunk.

[veritasluxmea]

this is like a really tame version of one of those CA question threads 

[Nihil Obstat]

wow dude. Go home. You're drunk.

[blazeingstar]

So....I really don't see the whole need for a Josephite marriage in your case.  Lack of sexual drive is simply a stuuuuupid idea for that.  Sex drive changes on a daily basis.  Being sick or getting good news or super hot weather or super cold weather can completely change how either my husband or I feel.

I'd also like to address your concern over God rewarding you for sexual self control.  God isn't anti-sex.  He dosn't reward a single person for sexual self-control.  He rewards them for living their vocation.  If sexual self-control is part of that vocation then God rewards it as as secondary benefit.  This means 100% self control for those in single and religious vocations and still a fair amount of sexual self-control for those in married vocations. 

As far as children.  Given through sex or through adoption, God still has His hand in this.  If you're American, I'd deeply encourage you to look at 2 things as far as adoption.  The first being adopting a child/children in a family unit, or with special needs or over the age of 7.  The second would be to consider paper adoption--sponsoring a child--so that that child can grow up and live in his country of origin.  There are no shortage of those children. 

[adhoc]

I see your point, in fact I decided it's a dumb idea.

 

You can go ahead and delete this thread! It no longer serves a purpose since I don't embrace the ideas stated here.

[Nihil Obstat]

 

I see your point, in fact I decided it's a dumb idea.

 

You can go ahead and delete this thread! It no longer serves a purpose since I don't embrace the ideas stated here.

Do not embrace... What, exactly? The Church's teachings on chastity? If you are called to a higher and more self sacrificing form of chastity through vowed celibacy then that is excellent. But you must be able to meet the minimum requirements first.

[Gabriela]

I see your point, in fact I decided it's a dumb idea.

 

You can go ahead and delete this thread! It no longer serves a purpose since I don't embrace the ideas stated here.

Threads on Phatmass are practically never deleted. 

Except for when the interwebz eats them.

[blazeingstar]

I see your point, in fact I decided it's a dumb idea.

 

You can go ahead and delete this thread! It no longer serves a purpose since I don't embrace the ideas stated here.

Adhoc,

Don't be too hard on yourself.  I'm not sure what decision you came upon, but I think that what you asked had value.  Many people think that a Josephite Marriage will solve issues of sexuality for them.  There have been cases that bisexual or lesbian or gay or asexual persons want to marry in order to create a family by adoption with a mother and father and truly care for each other, just not sexually.

You didn't bring up a bad point at all, nor should you be embarrassed.  Society has totally messed up sexual love from both the angle of promiscuity to the advent of Kellog (yes that Kellogs like the cereal) who wanted circumcision to cause pain so as to prevent masturbation and many Christians who consider even marital sex somehow dirty and not to be desired except in procreation.  The sexual message we get from the Church is vague, so that adds confusion.

I hope you and your future wife find a balance.  Remember, you will each have your own sex drives and so long as you are not willfully or unjustly denying your wife, and she is not denying you, there is no quota on how much sex you two must have.  It's rare people have it daily, most weekly and some couples who don't have high drives can even go weeks so long as they keep their intimacy up in other ways.  Low sex drives are not an impediment to marriage, and so long as they are balanced, very likely not even an issue in marriage.