Contemplative life and Mental Illness

[Kayte Postle]

I feel that I might have a vocation to contemplative life. However I do suffer from some mild mental illness, that is extremely well controlled with a little medication. I have written a few communities, and been turned away by each one. I know each community is different, but does anyone know of contemplative communities that can accommodate? Or do I have to come to terms with the fact that mental illness and contemplative life just don't do well together?

[beatitude]

I've known a few sisters with mental health problems, including contemplatives. It doesn't just depend on the community, but on you and how your difficulties affect you. As they can affect everyone so differently, even in cases where the diagnosis is the same, there isn't a generic one-size-fits-all answer. The best advice I can give is to go on writing to communities that you feel drawn to, and be honest about your situation, but don't make your problems the main focus of your letters - talk about what makes you think you might have a vocation, why you're approaching these sisters specifically, and so on.

[Gabriela]

I agree with beatitude. I'm not sure it's necessary to mention your mental illness in your very first contact. Why not let them get to know you a bit first? Then, when they ask about health, you can tell them that you take medicine for X and it's no problem. Then they can decide whether it's a problem for them.

IMO, so long as your medicine isn't outrageously expensive, and your illness isn't exacerbated by stress, it should be fine. But some communities hold onto old biases about mental illness, so... dust off your feet, sista'.  

That reminds me: @dUSt, we need a sassy emoticon. Can you get us ladies one of those? 

Edited August 12, 2016 by Gabriela

[dUSt]

15 hours ago, Gabriela said:

That reminds me: @dUSt, we need a sassy emoticon. Can you get us ladies one of those? 

Example?

[miserere55]

• I have known several contemplative sisters with mental illness, (i.e. schizophrenia, bi polar etc.).  Let the monastery get to know you before you bombard them with the mental illness thing.  I will send you a message about a contemplative Abbess who might give you a chance, especially if you let her get to know you first.

[Gabriela]

4 hours ago, dUSt said:

Example?

[Kayte Postle]

Thank you all for the advice! The trouble I'm having is that the communities have asked about medication in the first or second email after I write them initially. My illness is not something I freely talk about unless a community asks, or until the subject of making a visit comes up. Should I wait until I (possibly) visit to mention it?

Sigh. I must learn some patience and know that God will pave the way if it is His will.

[Amppax]

Well I would say wait to mention your issues, though obviously don't withhold information which they request. Unless your medicine or illness would interfere with a visit, I don't see why you need to mention it before going. 

[Nunsuch]

Does anyone know if the Benedictine Sisters of Jesus Crucified--who were founded to enable religious life for women with disabilities or fragile health--are open to accepting candidates with mental illness issues? It might be worth contacting them to find out. 

http://benedictinesjc.org/aboutUs.html

[DominicanHeart]

What do you say about people who are discerning Religious Life who have a weight problem? I have struggled with my weight all my life and that's one concern

[Gabriela]

20 hours ago, DominicanHeart said:

What do you say about people who are discerning Religious Life who have a weight problem? I have struggled with my weight all my life and that's one concern

I'm not sure how you get from mental illness to this. People with weight problems aren't necessarily mentally ill, and vice versa. You might want to start a new thread, cuz this is probably something other people have wondered too, and I don't recall us discussing it before, and it really is its own topic.

If what you mean is, "Will someone with a weight problem have trouble entering religious life", I think the answer is: It depends on how bad the weight problem is. Does it impact the person's health, or prevent them from doing normal daily activity or the work of the monastery/convent? If so, could be a problem. If not, probably not a problem.

Edited August 14, 2016 by Gabriela

[Antigonos]

I certainly have seen photos of chubby nuns, and, what with dietary restrictions as penances or at certain times of the year, it would seem that in spite of this, some sisters just have the genes for being "amply proportioned", no matter what.  Morbid obesity might be another kettle of fish though, as this can predispose to a number of chronic conditions, or be due to certain health issues.  Certainly there was a Phatmasser who is now, I believe, in solemn vows, who doesn't seem to have lost any weight since entering the convent, and who is definitely not thin.

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

On 8/11/2016 at 6:19 PM, Kayte Postle said:

I feel that I might have a vocation to contemplative life. However I do suffer from some mild mental illness, that is extremely well controlled with a little medication. I have written a few communities, and been turned away by each one. I know each community is different, but does anyone know of contemplative communities that can accommodate? Or do I have to come to terms with the fact that mental illness and contemplative life just don't do well together?

Kayte, MOST contemplative communities have some sort of policy about candidates with mental illness. Although you may do really well with medication in a regular way of life, contemplative life and particularly cloistered life is a very demanding and "unique" way of life. I remember when I was young an older nun saying that cloistered life was "a dangerous life" and I couldn't understand that because I hadn't been living in the monastery long enough. Although it is a very simple and ordinary life many things that are "normal" are not a part of our life because of the nature of our vocation. Yes, there are nuns in monasteries that have mental illnesses and the life is often extraordinarily difficult for them...and for the community with whom they live so closely 24/7 365 days a year.

It is not right and just to a person with a mental illness to perhaps put them in a position where it may do them harm or damage them emotionally and spiritually.

The advice given to not say anything until they ask is not good advice because most monasteries will tell you that you can't continue discerning with them. It is really much better to be upfront and tell the vocation directress immediately the nature of your illness and if God wants you in that monastery he will open the door. It may be that the particular nature of your illness is such that it would be OK. But not sharing it wouldn't reflect well on you if you in fact know this could be an impediment.

I know this is hard but truly the sisters have your welfare in mind. It may be that God is calling you to a life that has more "outlets" for your well-being and development. When God calls you to a way of life he calls you to a life in which you can flourish. He loves you and has a plan for you!  

[Kayte Postle]

Thank you @Sr Mary Catharine OP! I was so hoping you would reply to this thread. Thank you for your thoughtful and wise response. 

[AveMariaPurissima]

On 8/13/2016 at 11:06 AM, DominicanHeart said:

What do you say about people who are discerning Religious Life who have a weight problem? I have struggled with my weight all my life and that's one concern

I'm in the same situation... 

9 hours ago, Gabriela said:

I'm not sure how you get from mental illness to this. People with weight problems aren't necessarily mentally ill, and vice versa. You might want to start a new thread, cuz this is probably something other people have wondered too, and I don't recall us discussing it before, and it really is its own topic.

If what you mean is, "Will someone with a weight problem have trouble entering religious life", I think the answer is: It depends on how bad the weight problem is. Does it impact the person's health, or prevent them from doing normal daily activity or the work of the monastery/convent? If so, could be a problem. If not, probably not a problem.

We have discussed this before a couple times.  I'll start a new thread and link to the old ones.

[tinytherese]

On August 14, 2016 at 8:25 AM, Sr Mary Catharine OP said:

Kayte, MOST contemplative communities have some sort of policy about candidates with mental illness. Although you may do really well with medication in a regular way of life, contemplative life and particularly cloistered life is a very demanding and "unique" way of life. I remember when I was young an older nun saying that cloistered life was "a dangerous life" and I couldn't understand that because I hadn't been living in the monastery long enough. Although it is a very simple and ordinary life many things that are "normal" are not a part of our life because of the nature of our vocation. Yes, there are nuns in monasteries that have mental illnesses and the life is often extraordinarily difficult for them...and for the community with whom they live so closely 24/7 365 days a year.

It is not right and just to a person with a mental illness to perhaps put them in a position where it may do them harm or damage them emotionally and spiritually.

The advice given to not say anything until they ask is not good advice because most monasteries will tell you that you can't continue discerning with them. It is really much better to be upfront and tell the vocation directress immediately the nature of your illness and if God wants you in that monastery he will open the door. It may be that the particular nature of your illness is such that it would be OK. But not sharing it wouldn't reflect well on you if you in fact know this could be an impediment.

I know this is hard but truly the sisters have your welfare in mind. It may be that God is calling you to a life that has more "outlets" for your well-being and development. When God calls you to a way of life he calls you to a life in which you can flourish. He loves you and has a plan for you!  

What is it specifically about contemplative communities that make it hard for someone with a mental illness to handle?

[Gabriela]

54 minutes ago, tinytherese said:

What is it specifically about contemplative communities that make it hard for someone with a mental illness to handle?

The monastery is often likened to a pressure cooker, for two reasons: (1) You're in there all day, with no break, with a whole lot of silence in which to stew in your own thoughts. With a mental illness, and no distractions, this could really tip a person. (2) You're in there all day, with no break, with a whole lot of women who can drive each other crazy. With a mental illness, and sharp objects, this could be very bad.

 (Only I'm serious.)

[graciandelamadrededios]

42 minutes ago, Gabriela said:

The monastery is often likened to a pressure cooker, for two reasons: (1) You're in there all day, with no break, with a whole lot of silence in which to stew in your own thoughts. With a mental illness, and no distractions, this could really tip a person. (2) You're in there all day, with no break, with a whole lot of women who can drive each other crazy. With a mental illness, and sharp objects, this could be very bad.

 (Only I'm serious.)

I agree, unlike active orders where you can "escape" to teaching, hospital work or outside apostolate.  

Remember St. Therese when she was so irritated by a Sister who made some clicking sound during mental prayer?

 

 

 

[Pax_et bonum]

I just want to offer a little hope to all the people with mental illnesses reading. I'm not a success story, yet, but I am discerning with a cloistered community that is fully aware of my condition. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a few years ago, and now I'm stable on meds. The community and I have a lot to discern together, but I'm so glad they're in it with me. 

[Gabriela]

12 minutes ago, graciandelamadrededios said:

I agree, unlike active orders where you can "escape" to teaching, hospital work or outside apostolate.  

Remember St. Therese when she was so irritated by a Sister who made some clicking sound during mental prayer?

Or An Infinity of Little Hours (based on the true stories told the author by Carthusian monks), where one guy literally lost his mind and started pulling his hair out and engaging in all kinds of other self-harmful behaviors, and another guy obsessed in a totally crazy way over other people's trivial chant mistakes.

1 minute ago, Pax_et bonum said:

I just want to offer a little hope to all the people with mental illnesses reading. I'm not a success story, yet, but I am discerning with a cloistered community that is fully aware of my condition. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a few years ago, and now I'm stable on meds. The community and I have a lot to discern together, but I'm so glad they're in it with me. 

Prayers for you, Pax!