The Community That Never Was (Legitimate)

[M. Therese]

I have recently received news that SSC (Servants of the Sacred Cross) has disbanded.  

The Bishop of Nova Scotia, Canada the province that Wendy lives in informed her a long time ago that she was NOT permitted to wear any garb that resembled religious dress to any Catholic parish in the diocese.While being a part of SSC, Wendy was adamant that none of us needed our Bishops permission to appear in SSC’s religious garb. Apparently, Wendy even though she was received into the Catholic Church through the Ordinariate choose to attend Anglican services in her so called “habit” instead.

I am in touch with a number of other women who like myself once belonged to SSC because we were told by Wendy that it was a legitimate community in the process of being established. That was a lie. Some of us contacted the head of the Ordinariate and other Catholic Church officials for clarification. Wendy either never applied to the Catholic Church for a legitimate status or she was refused. It was when some of us started checking out information from Wendy that we discovered how deep the lies went. Many of us choose to believe the clerics we contacted as they alone had accurate information and we left.

In Halifax, she was also ordered to return all Church property she took without permission from Sacred Heart Parish and any other items that should be maintained by the Diocese, not the laity.

I am thrilled that no other woman will be led astray by lies and falsehoods. No other woman will be mistreated because of one married woman's obsession with wearing a "religious habit."

 

[HollyDolly]

Sorry to hear this. It's a good thing  you all were spared any more heartache and waste of money, time etc. I think I looked your group up once. I'm 64 and too old to join anybody. I have relatives who are nuns, here in America and over in Germany.  and thought about it, but first my mother and then  my father got ill, so that was the end of that. Don't understand why if Wendy converted to the Church, yet still attended Angelican services. Why didn't she just go start an Angelican sisterhood? There are some who go back  over 100 years in the United States and Canada.In fact, the All Saints Sisters for the Poor  here in the US  became part of the Catholic Church. It was in somewhere in 2016-2020. The bishop was right in his assesment.

[Feankie]

It's interesting this should just pop up.  I looked them up about 6 years ago after an acquaintance of mine, who is a widow and very pious, contacted them. She felt there were "red flags" at the time and asked me to do some "investigative reporting :))". And I did just that.  The answers I received from "Mother" Wendy were confusing at best, theologically unsound at worst.  Nothing made sense. Very evasive.

My friend discerned, quite rightly, that it was't what it seemed or purported to be. I've always wondered what happened to the "order".  Now I know.  It breaks my heart to see how many women joined, went through an iffy formation process (if one could call it that), traveled to Canada and back, wore habits, and thought they were canonically Sisters, and then, poof!  So sad.

The moral of the story is to do your "homework" on an Order.  Then check it again!  All things are not as they always seem.  If it seems too good to be true, well....

Edited October 26, 2020 by Francis Clare

[GraceUk]

I don't know how this person managed to deceive so many people for so long. How could the nuns  think they were professed without the approval of the church. It's a bit strange to say the least. I thought bishops/ priests were  involved in most professions.

[Lilllabettt]

2 hours ago, GraceUk said:

I don't know how this person managed to deceive so many people for so long. How could the nuns  think they were professed without the approval of the church. It's a bit strange to say the least. I thought bishops/ priests were  involved in most professions.

Well... it can happen because people literally are novices in consecrated life. They are somewhat like little babies that don't know any different from what they are told. New movements including ecumenical communities are constantly springing up in the Church. Look at the Schoenstatt "sisters". They are a secular institute, but they wear a habit and look like nuns. But they are perfectly legitimate. It can be confusing to separate legit from not. Private vows or promises don't strictly require any confirmation from the Church; in religious profession, even solemn profession, a priest or bishop is extraneous (assuming it is done outside Mass.) I think you'd need a little bit of theology plus a good dose of street smarts to grasp, from a distance, that Mother Wendy was spouting nonsense. Unfortunate when people really want something to be true they are vulnerable to putting blinders on.

 

[HollyDolly]

The Schoenstatt 'sisters' have those who live in community and wear a habit, and those who don't.The Rural Parish Workers of Christ the king are in Missouri  if I recall.They were listed in the book Convent Life, as a secular institute. Since Convent Life  was published in 1964, and it's now 2020, they have been around  for 56 years. They do have a website. Don't know if they ever wore a habit like the Schoenstatt 'Sisters" do.And they are in good standing with their diocese.

[GraceUk]

HollyDolly  I think that some orders do accept women over the age of 60.  

[M. Therese]

On 10/27/2020 at 5:48 AM, GraceUk said:

I don't know how this person managed to deceive so many people for so long. How could the nuns  think they were professed without the approval of the church. It's a bit strange to say the least. I thought bishops/ priests were  involved in most professions.

This was allowed to continue because High Anglican priests and a bishop showed great support for Wendy and her lies.  There was absolutely no room for dissent with Wendy and she knows little to nothing about living real religious life. Those who stayed were just "dress up wanna be sisters, nothing more." I observed how she mistreated and spoke horribly about people behind their backs, very often referring to people as having, "mental issues." Well, in fact it seems Wendy is the one with mental health issues. 
None of us knew before we joined that she is in fact a married woman and paraded around Nova Scotia with her husband and in this so called religious garb. She was a tyrant and deceiver and I'm grateful to God this slap in the face to real religious communities is dead.

On 10/27/2020 at 8:13 AM, Lilllabettt said:

Well... it can happen because people literally are novices in consecrated life. They are somewhat like little babies that don't know any different from what they are told. New movements including ecumenical communities are constantly springing up in the Church. Look at the Schoenstatt "sisters". They are a secular institute, but they wear a habit and look like nuns. But they are perfectly legitimate. It can be confusing to separate legit from not. Private vows or promises don't strictly require any confirmation from the Church; in religious profession, even solemn profession, a priest or bishop is extraneous (assuming it is done outside Mass.) I think you'd need a little bit of theology plus a good dose of street smarts to grasp, from a distance, that Mother Wendy was spouting nonsense. Unfortunate when people really want something to be true they are vulnerable to putting blinders on.

Whenever any members asked questions Wendy lied, it's really that simple. The Anglican clergy never investigated any of her claims so we had no one to turn to.
None of us knew of the lies until we left although the fact that she was so irate with me because I took a file full of information on the group to my local bishop was a huge red flag for me. 

On 10/27/2020 at 8:13 AM, Lilllabettt said:

 

 

[gloriana35]

The Schoenstatt Sisters of Mary are not only perfectly legitimate but, IMO, admirable. You may want to read a bit about their history and approach.

 

http://www.s-ms.org/en

I don't know the community mentioned in this thread, and feel sad for those who were misled. New communities (even centuries ago) could take many years to receive formal approbation, and their not yet having received such is not necessarily indicative of any problem. It's another matter if someone is a fraud. 

[GraceUk]

It is a great shame for the people who were misled by the leader of this order.  The people in charge should have taken a more proactive part. I did a bit of googling on  the order if we can call it that. They were mentioned on the Catholic answers forum and on here too a few years ago.

Some people said they  were fine and others saying they had grave doubts.  So I can see now how people were taken in.   Seems like this Mother Wendy started of as Anglican then became a Catholic along with the rest of the members except one. 

[HisChild]

How sad to read this! I was just thinking about/praying for this community a few months ago... many years ago, I looked up the SSC, as a potential vocation option. 

I had many long conversations with Wendy and found her quite charitable, polite,  sent me a lot of literature, and even showed me photos of communal retreats in a Carmelite Abbey near Niagara, telling me how much support they had from the Catholic monks. I can't recall the details, but she really did sound legitimate.

I guess my red flags were that she was married, and she was bringing together Catholics, Anglicans and Orthodox (although later, they dropped the Orthodox from the website.) I found both peculiar, couldn't imagine any bishop/hierarch ecumenical enough to allow this of their spiritual children. As for her being married? As she was Anglican I thought, 'well, I suppose they do things differently.'  Now that I think about it, I actually found her descriptions of common and individual prayer a little convoluted: the Catholic sisters at home could pray the LOTH/Divine Office if they chose, but would need to use the Anglican Book of Prayer during retreats? It confused me and after prayer, I chose to move along.

The last contact I had with her was when she was in the process of becoming Catholic through the Ordinariate. So it's been a while! Then I couldn't find her website at all, but never speculated as to the possibilities.

I will say that new religious communities go through a lot of persecution, particularly those that aren't cenobitic. So, I didn't look at her vision for the community as nefarious, just a different path. 

Perhaps I try to see the best in people, and would like to think her heart was in the right place as she attempted this new type of religious vocation. Clearly, it wasn't executed well. And while I am a medical provider, I won't go so far as to diagnose mental illness.  Again, I hope it was just her desire for religious life, no matter how unfortunate the outcome. And I will pray for those sisters who were adversely affected by this community. I won't call them 'sisters', but instead merely sisters, because those who did join, I'm sure did so with the best of intentions. I pray for the healing of all involved. I know it took many years for me to heal when I left religious life. Even though I didn't make vows, the whole experience left me bitter for quite some time, as the dysfunction and lies were mind-blowing. So I truly feel for any who've been impacted by the events here.

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner!

[Guest]

Thank you for your post @HisChild- and well said.

I looked into the SSC too quite some years ago now but something held me back.  I also found Mother Wendy a quite pleasant and warm person eager to be of assistance.   I finally resolved that the SSC was not for me unless and until they were accepted fully and officially into The Church.  That has never happened to date.  And while it seems to be from "forum talk" that the SSC is disbanded as far as The Church is concerned, I have not read anything official on the internet, while I have not actively searched for years now.

My own personal experience of valid Catholic monastic life has spoken to my way of life now, except that I think I will always miss community.  Community can be a real trial even a suffering - however, at the one and the same time, community is supportive.  I do think that probably the same would apply whether one lived community under the same roof or not; however, that is only a supposition

  In my own way of life now fully in the laity in every way and desiring that and choosing it, my own rule of life can be a trial even a suffering.  It can also be supportive.  To me and humanly speaking, it is sort of an intensely poor second cousin to actual community life.  I have looked into Third Orders rather often over the years but have never felt drawn to them really. The ones I have contacted have had strong reservations because I suffer bipolar disorder.

Years back I had been advised to make a public vow of chastity (which I still have never heard of such a possibility) and so submitted a formal application to His Grace.  Not all that long after, I withdrew that application and when asked why I was withdrawing, my reply was "I do not want The Church responsible for me".  The reply was "God love you!".  Bipolar back then was a too real and active problem at times.    If I should have a serious episode of bipolar as just recently, I am not connected to the Catholic Church at all in any sort of official public sense, other than as a quite ordinary Catholic lay person, which I am.

 Single life, living alone with Private vows does allow me to go wherever and whenever I might be needed for any reason at all.

Nowadays I am very much aware - and indeed feel too - that I now am where I am called to be.  I never have even slight doubts, just wishful thinking at times while very much aware that wishes do not of necessity conform to reality.  I know a few women including myself who entered religious life with wishful thinking, or expectations, to discover the life was not at all, nowhere near, as they had expected.

[Sister Leticia]

I'm wondering if this is the order I heard of a few years ago, in a FB vocations group. I can't remember all the details, just a young woman very excitedly saying she was due to join a community in Canada, once she had raised a certain amount of money. I can't remember exactly what it was for, but it was something like to travel to a community chapter/meeting, and pay for her stay, as a prerequisite for acceptance - and/or pay for her formation. Certainly, it was to pay for more than simply travel, and something which candidates shouldn't have to pay for. And I think she said that she'd only be able to begin her postulancy at this meeting/ chapter. 

I do remember that I saw red flags, whereas she saw nothing wrong, because of how it had all been explained to her. It all seemed right and wonderful to her. And then a few months later she posted that she couldn't enter because the meeting had been postponed - something like that. 

Anyway, I had forgotten about this young woman until I read this thread, and something just clicked on the memory and made me wonder. But even if it's a different community, it just shows how an eager, fervant young aspirant can so easily be deluded, and convinced that something exploitative is right and fair. 

[M. Therese]

On 10/29/2020 at 6:56 AM, gloriana35 said:

The Schoenstatt Sisters of Mary are not only perfectly legitimate but, IMO, admirable. You may want to read a bit about their history and approach.

 

http://www.s-ms.org/en

I don't know the community mentioned in this thread, and feel sad for those who were misled. New communities (even centuries ago) could take many years to receive formal approbation, and their not yet having received such is not necessarily indicative of any problem. It's another matter if someone is a fraud. 

Since there is a fair amount of discussion about women's religious communities it might be a good idea to not use the terms, "nuns" and "sisters" as if they were the same. Technically nuns are cloistered, religious sisters are not. I along with numerous other Catholics still are not clear about these.

[gloriana35]

I'm confused about M. Therese's quoting me in her comment about 'nuns' and 'Sisters.' (I was aware of the distinction, by the way.) Schoenstatt Sisters of Mary is the name of the institute. Nor does 'Sister' always mean one in religious life - I'll use nurses who are ward Sisters as an example. There are Methodist nurses in Germany, who live a religious rule but may not exactly make vows, who are referred to as Schwester. Schoenstatt is a German foundation.