Large Families

[VeraMaria]

I was talking to some camp counselors at Sailing Camp (they're mostly University students) and the topic of Big families came up. One of the girls said she didn't know whether she wanted to have kids, and if she did she wanted one or two. I asked why and said that the best thing I think you can give your child are brothers and sisters.

She said (supported by like 7 oher counselors) that that way every child gets the "attention" he/she deserves. I said I thought that it was wonderful for the older kids to get some responsability once in a while by being in charge (a little) of the younger kids.

They said that wouldn't be fair by making the lder children "be parents to your children"

(tell me if I am making any sense s far).

Oh and I just remembered how the topic came up..they were talking about "controlling" the number of children with birth cntrol and abortion .

The sad thing is all those young university students completely agreed that the only way for a child to grow up "right" and not end up on the streets etc was to have a tiny family so they can have "attention" :angry:

They didn't take me too seriously because I have two brothers and they said "You don't know because you don't have a 'big' family."

So I know many of you are part of big families (I guess that would be 4 children or more, talking about the 'atention' factor) and I'm asking you to talk a bit about your family life so I can show them from the horse's mouth.

Ugh, and I can see a debate about birth control and the Catholic Church coming too..they say the Pope wants to populate the world with Catholics etc (and al that garbage..I've heard it before...), a bad thing being that they're all older than me and take everything I say as a joke because they say I'm a typical case of a 'brainwashed' Catholic..:angry:..hmph, if they only knew how anti-Catholic my family is

So please write a bit about family life and the relationships between siblings and parent and child in your family.

Thank you VERY much Pham, I wub ya all, you're always here for me

God Bless!!!!

Vera


edited because I cant spell

Edited July 16, 2004 by VeraMaria

[Moosey]

Ok I have 5 bothers and sisters and the youngest is 4 years old. He started talking when he was 2....he had plenty of attention. And I mean full sentences. I am so glad I have every one of my brothers and sisters. I'd be so lonely if I was an only child. My little brothers bring sunshine into my life because they love me and they're really close to my heart. Its always a blast when all six of us are together because we're so nuts. God has truly blest our family. Now that I've experienced being in such a big family I want as many kids as possible too. Little kids rock!

Edited July 16, 2004 by Moosey

[VeraMaria]

YAYYYY!!!

Go Moosey!!!

lol, your family sounds like an awesome bunch of crazy people



Hmph, like I kept telling them, having more siblings would give the kids MORE attention in my opinion...


even if you don't have a 'big' family, post aboput what family life is like with the number of siblings you have

[lifeteenchick527]

ya..i have 5 bros and 1 sis...and i like coming from a big family...but also in my family...four of my bros r in wheelchairs ( they are 13, 11, 9, and 2) and me and my lil bro whos not in a wheelchair (hes 7) and my lil sis is also not in a wheelchair (shes 4)
sometimes it is hard..iam not gonna lie...like people watch us everywhere we go...and none of us r adopted..so not only do we have a big family...he have four wheelchairs...but..its really fun and sometimes i am happy that my family is the way it is bc i get to meet people i wuld have nevr met and stuff...plus...it also gives people a chance to talk to us and have somethin to start off with...ya its hard bc i nevr knoe if my one of my bros is ok...and my house almost always has some1 not realted to us at all in it (we have nurses who come help out so we can to more stuff and i can get out of the house more and try to be normal (lol..thats really hard haha) and not wry that my parents need help..well ya thats basically my family in short..lol

[VeraMaria]

[quote name='lifeteenchick527' date='Jul 16 2004, 07:05 PM'] ya..i have 5 bros and 1 sis...and i like coming from a big family...but also in my family...four of my bros r in wheelchairs ( they are 13, 11, 9, and 2) and me and my lil bro whos not in a wheelchair (hes 7) and my lil sis is also not in a wheelchair (shes 4)
sometimes it is hard..iam not gonna lie...like people watch us everywhere we go...and none of us r adopted..so not only do we have a big family...he have four wheelchairs...but..its really fun and sometimes i am happy that my family is the way it is bc i get to meet people i wuld have nevr met and stuff...plus...it also gives people a chance to talk to us and have somethin to start off with...ya its hard bc i nevr knoe if my one of my bros is ok...and my house almost always has some1 not realted to us at all in it (we have nurses who come help out so we can to more stuff and i can get out of the house more and try to be normal (lol..thats really hard haha) and not wry that my parents need help..well ya thats basically my family in short..lol [/quote]
Alena YOU ROCK.

You have an awesome family Thanks for sharing!!!!!!!!!

God Bless

[lifeteenchick527]

ya anytime!!
God Bless you too

[cmotherofpirl]

They have it backwards.

Many kids today are from small families. They have never been in a pecking order, never learned to share, fought over the bathroom, or had someone to look out for them on the playground. They never learned responsiblity from watching a sibling. Many of them are selfish lonely little creatures. They have no sense of community that you learn in a large family.

As an only child I had no one on my side, as an only adult, I have no family, except a few stray cousins. My former husband, however is 1 of 9. When his sister died at New Years, his brothers and sisters flew in. When his grandmom died [who had 13 kids] there more more than 100 cousins to mourn her passing.

Family down here is a preparation for the Communion of Saints above.
THe more the merrier.

edited to add: you can always make family if God didn't give you enough. I had added severasl to mine already.

Talk to Ice Princess.

Edited July 16, 2004 by cmotherofpirl

[Moosey]

Thats awesome Alena! :cheer:

Edited July 16, 2004 by Moosey

[lifeteenchick527]

thanks moosey!!

[Philippe]

alena! ur family is so blessed!

[VeraMaria]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Jul 16 2004, 07:10 PM'] They have it backwards.

Many kids today are from small families. They have never been in a pecking order, never learned to share, fought over the bathroom, or had someone to look out for them on the playground. They never learned responsiblity from watching a sibling. Many of them are selfish lonely little creatures. They have no sense of community that you learn in a large family.

As an only child I had no one on my side, as an only adult, I have no family, except a few stray cousins. My former husband, however is 1 of 9. When his sister died at New Years, his brothers and sisters flew in. When his grandmom died [who had 13 kids] there more more than 100 cousins to mourn her passing.

Family down here is a preparation for the Communion of Saints above.
THe more the merrier.

edited to add: you can always make family if God didn't give you enough. I had added severasl to mine already.

Talk to Ice Princess. [/quote]
Thanks cmom

I totally agree. I see it when I observe large families (which I love to do) and having a pretty much 'normal' family I love to read what it's like in a big fam , and when I have children...

Oooo Katie...where art thou?

[lifeteenchick527]

thanks philippe...lol...but u already knew everything i wrote..lol

[Moosey]

Thats so true cmotherofproof. Everyone thinks my four year old brother is my son. I dont like to play favorites but hes closest to my heart..hes my little guy He once asked me if he came from my belly... very bad. I had to explain to him that I was his sister and thats not possible lol.

Edited July 16, 2004 by Moosey

[Thy Geekdom Come]

Two of my friends from seminary came from families of 8 or more children. They were all very happy, fulfilled, well-educated, polite, and well-disciplined children.

Fulfillment doesn't come from how much money you can spend on each child or how much parental care each child can get directly (both of which would demand small families), it comes from having family which loves you, encourages you, protects you, socializes with you, and most importantly, goes to Mass with you. All in all, I think it's the quality of the people, not the quantity, which has the most impact, but quantity is important, too, and I think it's the bigger the better, to the extend God wants it.

I remember the leaders of my youth group. They were nice, kind people with three kids, but they tried to tell us how contraceptives were a good thing. I remember the father saying, "sorry God, we know what you say, but we're putting a limit on it, we don't want too many kids...we're comfortable where we are." But if you leave all of these things up to God:

1. You are showing humility.
2. You are going to be much more comfortable.
3. You are not trying to tell God what to do with His creation (which I think is the most common form of pride).

[VeraMaria]

[quote name='Raphael' date='Jul 16 2004, 07:18 PM'] Two of my friends from seminary came from families of 8 or more children. They were all very happy, fulfilled, well-educated, polite, and well-disciplined children.

Fulfillment doesn't come from how much money you can spend on each child or how much parental care each child can get directly (both of which would demand small families), it comes from having family which loves you, encourages you, protects you, socializes with you, and most importantly, goes to Mass with you. All in all, I think it's the quality of the people, not the quantity, which has the most impact, but quantity is important, too, and I think it's the bigger the better, to the extend God wants it.

I remember the leaders of my youth group. They were nice, kind people with three kids, but they tried to tell us how contraceptives were a good thing. I remember the father saying, "sorry God, we know what you say, but we're putting a limit on it, we don't want too many kids...we're comfortable where we are." But if you leave all of these things up to God:

1. You are showing humility.
2. You are going to be much more comfortable.
3. You are not trying to tell God what to do with His creation (which I think is the most common form of pride). [/quote]
Thanks Micah

Some really good points there.

Wow PMers never cease to amaze me...you all rock

[Moosey]

I've learned that I need to sacrifice a lot of things so we can support this family more. We dont go on vacations very often because it can be very expensive to pay for 8 people.

[Colleen]

It's funny, because you know, the average family of four (two parents, two kids) usually don't spend a whole lot of time together. In reality, there oftentimes isn't a lot of attention for anyone. I've noticed this with some of my friends.

Usually the mother and father both work and aren't at home until the evening, and the kids are either watching TV, talking on the phone, or playing video games. There's hardly any interaction at all.

It's not always the case, of course, but more often than not, it is.

And then there's my family.

There's nine of us (mom, dad, 5 boys, 2 girls). Oh and the dog and the bird. We're noisy, boistrous, loud . . . yeah, you get the point. We're always together and our house is small, so we can't help but give each other plenty of attention!

We don't have a lot in terms of money and material things, but I will say that we are a pretty happy bunch and get along with each other better than a lot of our friends who have only two or three kids in their family.

I think because there are so many different opinions being expressed all the time (constantly, I tell you!), we learn to get along better.

That just seems like a silly argument to me. I mean, would you limit yourself to just two friends so that you made sure that they got enough attention from you? Of course not! There is truth to the saying, "the more the merrier."

[Moosey]

Im never alone in this house...lol

[Colleen]

[quote name='Moosey' date='Jul 16 2004, 05:20 PM'] I've learned that I need to sacrifice a lot of things so we can support this family more. We dont go on vacations very often because it can be very expensive to pay for 8 people. [/quote]
Yep.

[lifeteenchick527]

ya i understand...but r main thing is we cant really take one of my bros out bc we nevr knoe how hes gonna be..lol..ya same here vera....pmers r totally awesome