rachael Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING. Pronounce all one-syllable words with two. When giving directions, finish with “and it’s right down yonder on the left.” Confuses the mess out of ’em. Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they’re saying. Refer to every soft drink as a Coke. Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don’t have it, raise a ruckus. Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie -- John Michael -- Jim Bob. . .you get the idea) Address all males as “son” and females as “little lady”. Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It’s “Pah-kahn” not “Pee-can”. Put Tabasco on everything. For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say “Yo, I’m from upstate New Yoik!”, say “Well, I’ll be damned, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!” “Mash” buttons. “Cut” off lights. “Carry” the kids to school. Never simply “do” something. Be “fixin to do” something. Call ’em a yankee. Works every time. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!" Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball. Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air. Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it." When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . .preferably the banana ones. Name all of your children "Bubba". (or just call em that!) Use the word "reckon" in a sentence and watch their reaction. Tell them you don't have an accent, they do. Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there..." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.." Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picchick Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 that's funny. None of that stuff bothers me and I am from Il. What does that make me? A southerner or a yank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Joe Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 [color=blue]Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."[/color] My dear ol' da does this all the time. (He's from Ohio) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azaelia Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 [quote name='rachael' date='Sep 27 2004, 06:03 PM'] Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there..." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.." [/quote] I HATE it when [b]anyone[/b] does this! :angry: Just tell me which route to take, in which direction, and when to turn right/left onto what road. And yes, it's always snowing in Maine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted September 27, 2004 Author Share Posted September 27, 2004 [quote name='azaelia' date='Sep 27 2004, 07:10 PM'] I HATE it when [b]anyone[/b] does this! :angry: Just tell me which route to take, in which direction, and when to turn right/left onto what road. And yes, it's always snowing in Maine [/quote] hey, if you are a true southerner, this is the way you gotta give directions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 [quote]Call ’em a yankee. Works every time.[/quote] Especially if they're Mets fans. [quote]Address all males as “son” and females as “little lady”.[/quote] I refer to Jen as "young lady," does that count? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toledo_jesus Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 yeah for some reason they don't like the word ma'am or sir up there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 [quote name='toledo_jesus' date='Sep 27 2004, 06:44 PM'] yeah for some reason they don't like the word ma'am or sir up there. [/quote] I'd guess that's in the far north. Come to Nebraska and at least the well-raised young men will use "sir" and "ma'am" and will open doors for ladies, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toledo_jesus Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 well nebraska is midwest isn't it? They're alright. It's those northeasterners that are so weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 [quote name='toledo_jesus' date='Sep 27 2004, 06:50 PM'] well nebraska is midwest isn't it? They're alright. It's those northeasterners that are so weird. [/quote] Don't forget the west coast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azaelia Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 [quote name='toledo_jesus' date='Sep 27 2004, 06:50 PM'] It's those northeasterners that are so weird. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toledo_jesus Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 oh don't get me started on Californians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 [quote name='toledo_jesus' date='Sep 27 2004, 06:57 PM'] oh don't get me started on Californians. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosey Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 Those Californians have to worry about their state breaking off from the Uniteds States.....to go hang with Hawaii....Alaska can come too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted September 27, 2004 Author Share Posted September 27, 2004 I've been to Alaska hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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