Funny quotes from school....

[immaculata]

One of my friends used to jot down funny quotes that were said in class, then he posted a bunch on his website.. Thought you guys would get a kick out of some of these! *edit: Okay, obviously everyone except Phazzan.* :fluffy air extraction:

Don't you love seeing the Freshman carrying all their books around, saying sorry to the Seniors when they get in their way, and carrying things like compasses around that they would only use to jab people with? - Mr. Menger

One of my phrases is loot then burn. If you ever take over a country, don't burn the stuff first, cause then all you can take is ashes. See that’s a joke people. You're supposed to laugh - Mr. Cummings

If you eat candy in my class, I will take it from you and give it to the poor. I'll drive down the street, and say hey kid you want some candy - Mr. Blackford

The nation has gone downhill ever since women got the right to vote. As soon as they did, they elected a cute guy as president and the nation was in ruins - Mr. Cummings

Any intentions today? - Mrs. Svobodawg
That you will be lenient in grading our tests today - Stuart Schmadeke
Never - Mrs. Svobodawg

Mrs. Strauss, como estas - Alex Granda
Angry is how I como estas - Mrs. Strauss

Marc Strauss is hot - Alyssa Simmons
Only in the summer - Mrs. Strauss

I'm going to be frank with you guys about this problem, which is kindive hard because I'm Mr. H - Mr. Harris

Who was Martin Luther? - Mr. Blackford
He had a dream - Cia Fincham

Back at Spalding, you had to walk on the sides of the hallways. The nuns and teachers got to walk down the middle. Today at Notre Dame, you're lucky if you don't get mugged walking out there - Mr. Harris, old-timer

Anybody wearing a size four out there that should be wearing a size nine, please come up to the table for a detention - Mr. Rashid, at lunch

Mr. Roy, how's it going? - Maria Couri
Oh ya know, each day is better than the last. It's just one day closer to death - Mr. Roy

Welcome to our class Dr. O ' Connell. Would you like a seat? I've got a table for one back here - Mr. Harris

I chose which church to go to by who had the best softball team or the best uniforms - Mr. Laird

Mr. Callow, you're defacing school property with a Cubs picture - Andrew Cunningham
You're getting an F for the day - Mr. Callow

In college, when I went out with a girl, we bought chips and a six pack. Five of the beers were for me and so were the chips - Mr. Laird

If you know you're not going to marry them, then dump em. Send them to dumpsville, population you - Mr. Roy

When you fall in love, do you feel it in your brain? Do you say, "O, I am in love." No, you feel it in your gut - Mr. Laird

We got Columbus Day off, the man that brought syphillis and slavery to the new world. We don't get a day off for our veterans. - Mr. Laird

You know you get bored in the morning. There's nothing to do so you read the Cheerios Box. Thiacin, Riacin, Neosporin - Mr. Laird

Anybody back in England who has a hyphen in their last name usually comes from a family of royalty. You should all bow down to me - Jeremy Pitt-Payne

The rarest people are left-handed and red-haired. People consider them odd because they are different. I don't understand that. My son is left handed and has red hair. Is he odd? (Pause) You're dang right he is - Mr. Laird

[Phazzan]

Those are quite lame.

[rachael]

[quote name='immaculata' date='Jan 10 2005, 08:37 PM']
The nation has gone downhill ever since women got the right to vote. As soon as they did, they elected a cute guy as president and the nation was in ruins - Mr. Cummings

[/quote]
:rotfl:

[immaculata]

[quote name='rachael' date='Jan 10 2005, 08:45 PM'] [quote name='immaculata' date='Jan 10 2005, 08:37 PM']The nation has gone downhill ever since women got the right to vote. As soon as they did, they elected a cute guy as president and the nation was in ruins - Mr. Cummings [/quote]

:rotfl: [/quote]
[img]http://us.history.wisc.edu/hist102/photos/assets/photos/1125.jpg[/img]

Heck yes!

[Andrea348]

[quote name='immaculata' date='Jan 10 2005, 08:37 PM'] If you eat candy in my class, I will take it from you and give it to the poor. I'll drive down the street, and say hey kid you want some candy - Mr. Blackford
[/quote]

[immaculata]

[quote]Mr. Callow, you're defacing school property with a Cubs picture - Andrew Cunningham
You're getting an F for the day - Mr. Callow[/quote]

This is one of my favorites....

[bookwyrm]

Allow me to add some of my personal favorites:

Teacher: Why do you think we have a lock on the Tabernacle?
First Grader: To keep Jesus from getting out!

Jen (Protestant): Wait . . . If the pope's not supposed the have kids, then how can there be a John Paul the SECOND?

[LiL Kat Said]

:haha: :roll: :roll:

[Phazzan]

How about this one,

Class member: "hello Mr Roy, how's it going?"
Mr Roy: "[b]Roy[/b]t (i.e. right) as rain"

Or how about this one,

Q. What's the fastest way to get the heaven?
A. Kne[b]e[/b] mail!



Christians are so darn phunny!

[FutureSoror]

Those made [i]me[/i] smile. We have tons of those floating around our school, they should get written down

Edited January 11, 2005 by FutureSoror

[1337 k4th0l1x0r]

This reminds me of a fortune database we used to have where I went to high school. For those of you who aren't so nerdy, fortune is a command that would run whenever you logged into a unix machine and would give you a random quote, fortune, or story. Good times...

[Lil Red]

[quote name='immaculata' date='Jan 10 2005, 06:37 PM'] The rarest people are left-handed and red-haired. People consider them odd because they are different. I don't understand that. My son is left handed and has red hair. Is he odd? (Pause) You're dang right he is - Mr. Laird
[/quote]
hey, :angry: i resemble that!!!!

just kiddin, i'm just red-haired.

[Guest T-Bone]

[quote name='1337 k4th0l1x0r' date='Jan 10 2005, 11:18 PM'] This reminds me of a fortune database we used to have where I went to high school. For those of you who aren't so nerdy, fortune is a command that would run whenever you logged into a unix machine and would give you a random quote, fortune, or story. Good times... [/quote]
Unix rocks!


Make Fire

[color=blue]Dont know how to make fire[/color]

Why not?

[color=blue]No Match[/color]

[franciscanheart]

maybe my school is just really bad but um....

[JazzforJesus]

something from my theatre teacher, and our class

*proceeds after a fire drill gone wrong*
Mr. Jackson: now class what did we learn today
Everybody: Dont commit suicide, dont walk towards the burning building

Jackson: There shall not be any horse playing in my theatre... unless i initiate it... but hey that was kinda funny

Jason: you better not fall john, i dont want to carry you to the hospital
john: call the ambulance

Mr. Stanley: Kirby are you on a dangerous site?
Kirby: ...No
Mr. Stanley: Then why are you wearing a hard hat?
Kirby: I heard that there have been cows falling

Mr. Jackson: Where is the Highest lowest point in the US?
Mr. Belew: Vermont
Mr. Jackson: No! Vermont has mountains. Where is the highest lowest point in the US?
Chris: Deleware!

*Mr. Jackson wanders around Mr. Belew's Room*
Mr. Belew: that would be my closet of disgrace
Mr. Jackson: this appears to be a 2x4 *closes door*
Belew: im locking the door now. There
*Belew locks door and then we all leave classroom and go to Drama hall*
Belew: hey Matt, can you go down to my room and let Mr. Jackson out of my closet
Matt: your kidding, right?
Belew: No, now can you go down and let him out.
Matt: How long has he been in there?
Belew: about 3 minutes now.

[J.P.]

To the Batmobile!!! *The guy who said it and the closest person run off in some random direction only to stop and laugh about 10 feet from where they took off*....

































Inside Joke.

[HavilyRose]

[quote]The rarest people are left-handed and red-haired. People consider them odd because they are different.[/quote]

Hey! I'm left-handed...not red haired, but left-handed! I'm not odd, am I
(hmm...let's not answer that!)

Any other lefty people out there?

[rachael]

[quote name='HavilyRose' date='Jan 11 2005, 10:45 PM']
Hey! I'm left-handed...not red haired, but left-handed! I'm not odd, am I
(hmm...let's not answer that!)

Any other lefty people out there? [/quote]
lefty here!

and we are odd. odd is a good thing.

[Lavender]

Welcome to my geometry class. Oh, my...

Mr. Markos: Why does God hate me?
Luke (short person): Cause you're tall.
Markos: God is short?

Grant: I don't give a carp!
Markos: Why would you give it?
Grant: Why would you take it?
Markos: Where would you take it?
Luke: *matter-of-factly* To the bathroom!

Ashley: Hey now!
Markos: *funny look* You're a rock star?

Luke: *gravitational pull demo with ruler* See, it's not always parallel. If the center of the earth moves this way, then...
Markos: The center of the earth doesn't MOVE!

Megan: I'm leaving 15 minutes early.
Markos: Yes! God does answer prayers! I was about to give up on him, but then he gave me a sign. He said "Geoff, I will make her leave 15 minutes early." Now if only I could make Hillary leave 20 minutes early...

Markos's Broken Nose Story
Markos: And then...they put me in a straitjacket.
Grant: That's never a good sign.
Markos: Yeah, but that medication they had me on later...oooo yeah, that was good stuff. I was floating.

lol I love that class.

[bookwyrm]

Teacher: How many degrees in a triangle, class?
Stefan: *confidantly* Three hundred and sixty!



Okay, so that wasn't really funny . . . it was more the way he said it . . .