Why do people do this?

[Thy Geekdom Come]

Does anyone have any idea why some people, when they are having problems with something or someone in their life, feel the need to cut themselves off and withdraw?

Wouldn't it be wiser to face the issues and deal with the people involved...or at least explain what's going on and not leave them worrying like crazy that something's wrong?

I almost wanna be sad, miserable, whiney, and bitter all at once...and blame myself...which is why I wish people would be more clear.

[Jazz4jesus]

hmmm i cut myself off from many people but select few that I know understand me.

for me its. You dont know what its like go away. and to issue of what it is, i dont like going to it myself but if the other brings it up i will talk.

I just dont like many people involved in my problems, then its just pity party Aaron. and thats just smells of elderberries

[rachael]

people deal with problems differently. what may work for you may not work for anyone else.

i personally tend to cut myself off. it just works for me.

[philothea]

[quote name='Raphael' date='May 6 2005, 07:14 PM'] Does anyone have any idea why some people, when they are having problems with something or someone in their life, feel the need to cut themselves off and withdrawal?

Wouldn't it be wiser to face the issues and deal with the people involved...or at least explain what's going on and not leave them worrying like crazy that something's wrong?

I almost wanna be sad, miserable, whiney, and bitter all at once...and blame myself...which is why I wish people would be more clear. [/quote]
When I have done that, it was because I (a) can't deal with conflict and (b) get to despising myself so much that I can't bear to inflict my misery on anyone.

And if I was wise I wouldn't get into the miserable situation in the first place!

But I do not know who you are dealing with or what their behavior exactly is. I am probably not a good sample.

[nikkan_hanil]

Fear. Shame. Hatred. I should know.

[kaidoh]

i do, then again am really shy so.

[Ash Wednesday]

In conflict I will often withdraw until I've sufficiently been able to think things through with a clear head. I also tend to isolate myself when I am going through hard times because of pride. I want people to think I'm just fine, and I don't like asking for help.

On the internet it's easier for me to work through conflict because I can think before writing.

I'm not so good at confrontation on the fly.


Women will often withdraw because it is their way of saying "I'm upset" without wanting to feel like they are being too direct and rude. But in the end, the wise route is eventual dialogue. But some just need time and space beforehand.

[Jazz4jesus]

Im sure its connected to being shy. I am very shy (unless i am forced in situations when i have to interact with people)

[rachael]

[quote name='Jazz4jesus' date='May 6 2005, 08:52 PM'] Im sure its connected to being shy. I am very shy (unless i am forced in situations when i have to interact with people) [/quote]
i don't think it is, because i'm not shy at all

[Norseman82]

It's their way of doing "redemptive suffering".

[cmotherofpirl]

Males retreat to cave mode to work out their problems by themselves. When a man retreats you let them alone.
Women on the other hand , tend to congregate and share to work out difficulties.
When a woman is in difficulties you simply listen.

Learning the differences makes life much easier.

[Jazz4jesus]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='May 6 2005, 09:58 PM'] Males retreat to cave mode to work out their problems by themselves. When a man retreats you let them alone.
Women on the other hand , tend to congregate and share to work out difficulties.
When a woman is in difficulties you simply listen.

Learning the differences makes life much easier. [/quote]
yes us man go cave bang on rocks, problem solve


actually yes this is true, and just as everything else you will get your "abnormalities" where some males will behave as the females do and vise versa.

Edited May 7, 2005 by Jazz4jesus

[Ash Wednesday]

[quote name='Jazz4jesus' date='May 6 2005, 10:03 PM'] yes us man go cave bang on rocks, problem solve [/quote]
:haha: :rotfl: :haha:

[franciscanheart]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='May 6 2005, 07:52 PM'] In conflict I will often withdraw until I've sufficiently been able to think things through with a clear head.

Women will often withdraw because it is their way of saying "I'm upset" without wanting to feel like they are being too direct and rude. But in the end, the wise route is eventual dialogue. But some just need time and space beforehand. [/quote]
precisely

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='May 6 2005, 10:58 PM'] Males retreat to cave mode to work out their problems by themselves. When a man retreats you let them alone.
Women on the other hand , tend to congregate and share to work out difficulties.
When a woman is in difficulties you simply listen.

Learning the differences makes life much easier. [/quote]
Funny...I'm a man and I don't retreat...

[franciscanheart]

yeah that seems kinda true for some people but i wouldnt generalize and say that is everyone. its good for laughs though - definitely.

[philothea]

[quote name='Raphael' date='May 6 2005, 10:54 PM'] Funny...I'm a man and I don't retreat... [/quote]
We even out, then. I am retreat-girl.

[Guest pro-lifemomma4]

[quote name='Raphael' date='May 6 2005, 07:14 PM']Does anyone have any idea why some people, when they are having problems with something or someone in their life, feel the need to cut themselves off and withdraw?

Wouldn't it be wiser to face the issues and deal with the people involved...or at least explain what's going on and not leave them worrying like crazy that something's wrong?

I almost wanna be sad, miserable, whiney, and bitter all at once...and blame myself...which is why I wish people would be more clear.[/quote]
It is a true fact that that having pain takes pain from somewhere else. (Accupuncture) I have been tattoed and find that after I have a new piece of work that my anxiety levels are down and I am not so noticing of regular bumps and bruises. Physical pains also seem to take away emotional pain. Its a crazy thing but true. I have alot of old hurts and emotional stress. I have to say, it does ease the mental, emotional pain. Physical pain takes that a way for a LITTLE bit. Got bless and pray for all of us who have this in our lives.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='pro-lifemomma4' date='May 7 2005, 12:05 AM'] It is a true fact that that having pain takes pain from somewhere else. (Accupuncture) I have been tattoed and find that after I have a new piece of work that my anxiety levels are down and I am not so noticing of regular bumps and bruises. Physical pains also seem to take away emotional pain. Its a crazy thing but true. I have alot of old hurts and emotional stress. I have to say, it does ease the mental, emotional pain. Physical pain takes that a way for a LITTLE bit. Got bless and pray for all of us who have this in our lives. [/quote]
When did I mention physical pain? Did you think I said, "cut themselves" instead of "cut themselves off"?

[BeenaBobba]

I tend to withdraw when I'm depressed. I'm not 100% sure why I do, either.