Catholic marrying a non-Catholic

[scardella]

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day, and he mentioned that it is against Church teaching to marry a non-Catholic. He added that a dispensation was required to marry a non-Catholic and that you had to agree to raise any children Catholic.

My first question, particularly to those with direct experience, is how problematic is this in raising the children? If the non-Catholic parent held forcefully to his beliefs, would that make it difficult to raise the children Catholic?

My second question is how would one discern this sort of relationship in the first place? It would seem that one would have to avoid non-Catholics in social situations to prevent such a relationship from occurring. However, that certainly doesn't sound right to me.

[Lil Red]

i married a non-Catholic, basically non-Christian. our marriage is going just fine, thank you!

as far as children, my husband was never brought up with any religion. and he sees the detriment that it did to him. he agrees and insists that our children (when God sees fit that we have them) be brought up Catholic. and he says that he wants to present a "united front" to our children, and so he will go to Church with us.

when i met my husband, i was not "on fire" for the Catholic faith, or any faith. but after being married in the Church, my heart and soul became more and more "on fire" for the Church in every way (somebody sure was praying for me!), and my husband respects and understands this. he is curious, and always asking questions about why Catholics do this or that.

[MichaelFilo]

I suggest a look at the Syllabus of Erros most especially on marriage.

The marriage must be founded with an understanding that the children will be Catholic. If not, the marriage is NOT in accord with the will of the Church (albiet, valid still).


Marrying non-Catholics would be like marrying anyone else. Of course, you have an active duty to convert them to the Catholic faith, because that is true love, to want to share what God has given you with whoever you are married to. '

Also, marrying non-Catholics involves a bit more than just non-Catholic. Are they baptized, or not? If they are not baptized, then God cannot bless the marriage through the sacraments (or will not would be more accurate) since the sacrament can only be conferred on baptized persons. That also means that they are not bound to stay together (ie, they aren't united as one). I wonder if the Church even allows this.... although I'm sure there is someone here who knows better.

God bless,
Mikey

[scardella]

[quote name='MichaelFilo' date='May 17 2005, 02:22 PM']
Also, marrying non-Catholics involves a bit more than just non-Catholic. Are they baptized, or not? [/quote]
The question is primarily directed at Catholic-Protestant marriages, but I didn't intend to limit the question to that.

[Birgitta Noel]

The Church does allow marriages between Catholics and Non-Christians, though there is a special dispensation needed (from the bishop I believe).

One must also remember that just marrying a Catholic carries no guarentees. People do leave the faith. This goes both ways of course, non-Catholics also convert.

As for dating, many Catholics do only date Catholics. One's faith is integral to one's being (or should be), and for some the faith of the one they are dating is as well.

[Crusader_4]

I know the church allows marriage to traditional protestants i.e. Lutherans, United, Anglican, Presbyterian (i believe)...since they all believe in sacremental baptsim. However what about a group that is Anabpatist i.e. Baptists, mennonites, hutterites, pentecostals.

[mulls]

i don't get it.....don't be unequally yoked....why is this even allowed?

[philothea]

I wasn't baptized when I got married, and I don't remember any special dispensations or anything. We even had a mass (because I asked for it) and I know now that was not entirely proper. Hrm. I might have had to sign something saying that I agreed to raise any children as Catholic.

No one told me I wasn't [i]really[/i] getting married. Do I have to do it again? I don't think I fit into my dress anymore.

[Don John of Austria]

[quote name='philothea' date='May 17 2005, 05:32 PM'] I wasn't baptized when I got married, and I don't remember any special dispensations or anything. We even had a mass (because I asked for it) and I know now that was not entirely proper. Hrm. I might have had to sign something saying that I agreed to raise any children as Catholic.

No one told me I wasn't [i]really[/i] getting married. Do I have to do it again? I don't think I fit into my dress anymore. [/quote]
In all seriousness you need to consult a prieist preferably one who is not a liberal lunitic about having a nuptual blessing given, you should have never been allowed to be married as an unbapized person, that is certianly grounds for an annulment.

[Lil Red]

i asked my priest, and he assured me that all was done correctly, with the proper dispensations.

[Birgitta Noel]

[quote name='Don John of Austria' date='May 17 2005, 05:37 PM'] In all seriousness you need to consult a prieist preferably one who is not a liberal lunitic about having a nuptual blessing given, you should have never been allowed to be married as an unbapized person, that is certianly grounds for an annulment. [/quote]
That's not true, unbaptized people may be married. There is an uber special dispensation, and it's wholly discouraged, but it's not disallowed...it is grounds for an annulment as no sacrament occured, but I don't believe it's disallowed.

[MichaelFilo]

And what is the point of marriage outside of the Sacrament? It is secular.

History shows, getting married with the Sacrament is truely a blessing.

God bless,
Mikey

[philothea]

Well thank you, I'll pass that thought on to my husband of 16 years...

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='MichaelFilo' date='May 17 2005, 09:08 PM'] And what is the point of marriage outside of the Sacrament? It is secular.

History shows, getting married with the Sacrament is truely a blessing.

God bless,
Mikey [/quote]
Love might have something to do with it......

[Don John of Austria]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='May 17 2005, 08:08 PM'] Love might have something to do with it...... [/quote]
No love has absolutly nothing to do with it, if there is no sacramental marraige there is no point in it at all, if there is no baptism there is no marriage, mariage is a union of 2 BAPTISED PERSONS, period, end of story. No baptism no sacrament no sacrament no marriage.

[cmotherofpirl]

I'm sure that will make sense to the people who are married to non-christians

[Melchisedec]

Basicly, philothea's marriage is a sham in the eyes of the church.

[Don John of Austria]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='May 17 2005, 08:16 PM'] I'm sure that will make sense to the people who are married to non-christians [/quote]
They aren't married to non Christians--- they have a contractual agreement with anon Christian, that isn't a marraige.

[cmotherofpirl]

Our members married to non-christians MIGHT disagree.

[Don John of Austria]

The requirments for a mixed marriage are as such even if these requirments are met the marriage isnot sacramental.

From canon Law:

Can. 1086 §1 A marriage is invalid when one of the two persons was baptised in the catholic Church or received into it and has not by a formal act defected from it, and the other was not baptised.

2 This impediment is not to be dispensed unless the conditions mentioned in cann. 1125 and 1126 have been fulfilled.

§3 If at the time the marriage was contracted one party was commonly understood to be baptised, or if his or her baptism was doubtful, the validity of the marriage is to be presumed in accordance with can. 1060, until it is established with certainty that one party was baptised and the other was not.



Can. 1124 Without the express permission of the competent authority, marriage is prohibited between two baptised persons, one of whom was baptised in the catholic Church or received into it after baptism and has not defected from it by a formal act, the other of whom belongs to a Church or ecclesial community not in full communion with the catholic Church.

Can. 1125 The local Ordinary can grant this permission if there is a just and reasonable cause. He is not to grant it unless the following conditions are fulfilled:

1° the catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith, and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power in order that all the children be baptised and brought up in the catholic Church;

2° the other party is to be informed in good time of these promises to be made by the catholic party, so that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and of the obligation of the catholic party

3° both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage, which are not to be excluded by either contractant.

Can. 1126 It is for the Episcopal Conference to prescribe the manner in which these declarations and promises, which are always required, are to be made, and to determine how they are to be established in the external forum, and how the non-catholic party is to be informed of them.

Can. 1127 §1 The provisions of can. 1108 are to be observed in regard to the form to be used in a mixed marriage. If, however, the catholic party contracts marriage with a non-catholic party of oriental rite, the canonical form of celebration is to be observed for lawfulness only; for validity, however, the intervention of a sacred minister is required, while observing the other requirements of law.

§2 If there are grave difficulties in the way of observing the canonical form, the local Ordinary of the catholic party has the right to dispense from it in individual cases, having however consulted the Ordinary of the place of the celebration of the marriage; for validity, however, some public form of celebration is required. It is for the Episcopal Conference to establish norms whereby this dispensation may be granted in a uniform manner.

§3 It is forbidden to have, either before or after the canonical celebration in accordance with §1, another religious celebration of the same marriage for the purpose of giving or renewing matrimonial consent. Likewise, there is not to be a religious celebration in which the catholic assistant and a non-catholic minister, each performing his own rite, ask for the consent of the parties.

Can. 1128 Local Ordinaries and other pastors of souls are to see to it that the catholic spouse and the children born of a mixed marriage are not without the spiritual help needed to fulfil their obligations; they are also to assist the spouses to foster the unity of conjugal and family life.

Can. 1129 The provisions of cann. 1127 and 1128 are to be applied also to marriages which are impeded by the impediment of disparity of worship mentioned in can. 1086 §1.